The Man in Two Bodies (British crime novel): A Dark Science Crime Caper

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by Stanley Salmons


  *

  Rodger and Mike showed me how to use the GPS receiver and made me take readings all round the flat until they were sure I knew how to operate it. It went with me to the bank the next day. That evening I gave them the coordinates for the secure area. We’d made a start.

  The following day I took a handbag to work that was a bit larger than the one I usually carry. When I returned to the flat in the evening Mike and Rodger watched me take out five of the thick polythene money bags for us to practise with. Mike was ecstatic. We did a trial run then and there. There wasn’t enough money in the suitcase to fill all five bags so he’d bought a few reams of plain paper, cut them up with a craft knife and used paper bands to make them into bundles. They handled like banknotes, or near enough for our purposes.

  Mike set his stopwatch going and Rodger and I started transferring the money to his duffel bag. It was a disaster. He was trying to help and we kept getting in each other’s way, and then the duffel bag wouldn’t stay open and there was money all over the floor. I got a fit of the giggles but Mike wasn’t a bit amused.

  “This is hopeless,” he said, throwing up his hands. “You took nearly two minutes for that alone. We can’t faff around like this; we’ve got to get our act together. Rodge: don’t try and help her. You just concentrate on keeping that duffel bag of yours wide open. Suzy: have all the money bags open and place them in a line close to the duffel. You may have to take out the first few bundles by hand; then see if you can tip the rest in without spilling it everywhere.”

  We emptied the money and the paper bundles onto the carpet, sorted it into the five poly bags and started all over again. We managed it more tidily the next time, but it still wasn’t quick enough so we did it again. And again. This sort of thing became the pattern for the days that followed.

  I had to go to work, of course; it might have looked suspicious if I’d taken time off. The two chaps spent the time at the lab, seeing how quickly they could transport Rodger to the flat and back. In the evenings I’d get home and the three of us would practise transferring the money to the duffel bag. It wasn’t ideal from my point of view because I’d already had a busy day at work and I was tired before we even started.

  When we’d got that running fairly smoothly we practised dealing with interruptions. We’d start to transfer the money and then Mike would walk in without warning and Rodger would have to go through the routine of waving the toy gun at him and then tying him up with a pillowcase over his head. And all the time that wretched stopwatch would be running.

  After a week of this I was exhausted. Rodger was, too. Even Mike was flagging, although he still drove us like a demon. When we were done with rehearsing for the evening we’d be ready for something to eat. It was too late to start cooking, and we didn’t want to risk being seen together at a restaurant or fast-food place, so one of us would go out for a take-away. We got pretty sick of take-aways. Our spirits were low and even when we weren’t rehearsing we were constantly snapping at each other. I was beginning to wish we’d never started this business.

  The following week we started to put the separate parts together. We did it all in the lounge, with Mike miming the moves he’d normally be making in the lab. It seemed awfully complicated but Mike and Rodger were quite serious about simulating it properly. They placed cushions to mark the corners of something they called “the cage” and Mike would pretend to twiddle knobs and he’d spread his fingers to push something forward and flick imaginary switches. I hadn’t a clue what he was up to but Rodger seemed quite satisfied. Then Mike would stab at something with his right forefinger while he brought the other hand down in a signal; I suppose that was the moment he activated the transporter. Rodger would open the duffel bag, I’d transfer the money, he’d close the bag and lift his arm, and Mike would do some more twiddling. Then Mike would run round the cushions, open a make-believe door, swap the full duffel bag for an empty one and click the stopwatch. We got the whole sequence down to about two-and-a-half minutes.

  After that we had a go at doing it properly. We couldn’t start until I got back from work and that meant Mike and Rodger had to stay on late at the lab; there was a slight risk of attracting attention to themselves but it couldn’t be helped. Mike transported Rodger to the lounge; I helped him transfer the money to the duffel bag and Mike returned him to the lab. The only detail missing was that Rodger didn’t actually take the duffel bag with him; as soon as he’d gone I had to empty it and sort the money into the poly bags so that we could do it all over again. The curious thing was, I was so focused on transferring the money as quickly as possible I hardly paid any attention to the fact that Rodger was now materializing next to me in the lounge. I simply took it for granted, even though it had given me such a dreadful shock the first time he did it.

  I lost count of the number of repeat runs we did. Each time Rodger appeared he’d tell me what Mike’s stopwatch had given us for the last trip. I barely registered it—by now I was going through the motions like an automaton. I remembered hearing him say two minutes thirty-five seconds earlier on, and at some stage it had come down to two minutes seventeen seconds. As far as I was concerned we’d reached the limit: there was no way I could do it any faster. Then it seems that one of them had an idea for shortening the routine for transporting Rodger; it knocked about fifteen seconds off each trip. When Rodger arrived for the final time he said, “Two minutes, three seconds, Suzy. This next run will be the last tonight.”

  As soon as he’d gone I pushed back my hair and flopped into an armchair. I was still there when I heard them come through the front door.

  “Well done, people,” Mike said as he came into the lounge. “Two minutes flat for the last run. On target at last. If we can keep that up for another week we’re going to be rich.”

  I looked at him. “Mike, I’ve had it. I need a break.”

  “You’ve worked very hard, Suzy. Don’t worry, I’ll go out for the take-away. You’ll feel better when you’ve had something to eat.”

  “You’re not listening, Mike. I need a proper break. Tomorrow’s Friday. I’ve decided to go down to Kent and spend a long weekend with my Mum and Dad.”

  There was a shocked silence. Mike was the first to react.

  “For God’s sake, Suzy! Of all times to want to go and visit your parents!”

  “They’re my parents, not yours, Mike. God only knows when I’ll see them again. I have a duty towards them.”

  “Suzy,” Rodger pleaded. “You’re jeopardizing the whole thing. We’ve worked so hard for this. All we have to do is hold it together for a bit longer…”

  “This is ridiculous! Will you two stop talking as if I’m letting you down? I told you, I need a break. What are you worrying about? We’re on target.”

  “Correction,” Mike said. “We’ve been on target once. That’s not good enough. We’ve got to be able to do it consistently. A few seconds here and there may not seem to matter to you but it mounts up over eight trips.”

  “Look, I’m going and that’s final. If you two don’t like it you can jolly well do this little caper on your own.”

  The air had turned to jelly. Finally Rodger sighed.

  “Maybe she’s right, Mike. Maybe it would do us all good to get out of each other’s company for a bit.”

  Mike looked like he was going to come out with something but then his shoulders slumped.

  “All right, I give up. Have it your own way. I just hope we can get back up to speed by next Thursday, that’s all.”

  39

  The following morning I went into the bank as usual. I saw Mr. Hughes as soon as he was free.

  “I do have some leave due, Mr. Hughes,” I said. “I was wondering if you could possibly manage without me until Tuesday.”

  He was a bit taken aback.

  “It’s a bit sudden, this, isn’t it, Susan?”

  “I know, I’m terribly sorry. My mother’s just recovering from the flu, you see, and now my father’s got it and I said I�
��d go down and help out.”

  “Ah, well I suppose you better had, then. Can you make sure anything urgent is covered before you go?”

  “Of course I will.”

  “I hope they’ll be feeling better soon.”

  “Thank you very much.”

  So far as I know they’re in rude health but I thought it would help. He’s a dear man.

  As I was about to leave the office he called out:

  “Oh, and Susan—you know there’s a secure delivery coming Thursday morning, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I do know. Thank you, Mr. Hughes.”

  As if I could forget.

  I left at lunchtime and went back to my own flat. Siobhan wasn’t going anywhere at the weekend and she’d agreed to lend me her little Renault to drive down to Kent. I crossed the River at Putney Bridge and took the South Circular. It was terribly congested all the way—I suppose there was a lot of traffic going out of town for the weekend. In spite of that, the journey seemed to pass quickly. Most of the time my mind was elsewhere; I was thinking about what was going to happen after the job.

  Could I hold on to Rodger? It shouldn’t be too hard. He was really into me by now—and not just in a crude sense. I was hoping he’d given some thought to the idea I’d put into his head. He was so much cleverer than Mike; surely he could find a way of outsmarting him? Then we’d have two million between us. Two million good reasons to stay together.

  Would our relationship ever go deeper? It wouldn’t be hard to love him, not when the physical thing was so strong. It would be easier if, just occasionally, he could show me a little affection. He was very cold that way. Probably he grew up in one of those aristocratic households where the son calls the father “Sir”, and the mother’s busy trying to reclaim her life after the minor aberration of having had children. I supposed it would take time.

  Mike would be sore, of course, but it would pass. He wouldn’t be able to blow the whistle on us without revealing his own part in the operation; he’d just have to keep quiet. And we’d cover our tracks carefully so he couldn’t follow us.

  If we took Mike’s share as well, there wouldn’t be time for all that post-traumatic stress disorder nonsense with the Bank; we’d have to skip the country pronto. Two million was a lot of cash to carry in suitcases, though. It would be best to go by sea. Security wouldn’t be so tight that way either. We could get one of those sea-going trunks, pack the money in the bottom, and put clothes and stuff on the top. Cruise somewhere—what a lovely thought! There probably wouldn’t be a schedule that fitted us exactly but we could always get a ferry over to Ireland or France and wait for the cruise ship there.

  We could sail around the world and then settle somewhere nice. I fancied a place where it wouldn’t cost too much to have servants. Southern California or Texas, perhaps. They get a lot of illegal immigrants there, crossing the border from Mexico; they’d work for next to nothing. I could have a cook and a gardener and someone to do the shopping and clean the house. I’ve got a little Spanish, but they’d have to learn English anyway…

  I was feeling better already.

  *

  Daddy was working in the garden. He waved and came over to me but before he had a chance to say anything Mummy came out of the house in full sail, wearing a purple and green kaftan.

  “Susan, darling!” She enveloped me.

  “Hello, Mummy,” I said weakly, as I surfaced.

  “Let me look at you, dear,” she said. She held me at arm’s length and inspected me carefully from top to bottom before delivering the verdict. “My, my, you’re looking well!”

  She sounded surprised. So was I. It made quite a change from “You’re looking a little peaky, dear. Are you eating properly?”

  “Isn’t she looking marvellous, Neville? Look at the roses in those cheeks! What have you been doing, darling? You’re not in love, are you? Oh, you wouldn’t tell me even if you were.”

  “Now, Mummy, don’t be silly.”

  “Isobel and Geoffrey are coming over later for a coffee. That’ll be nice, dear, won’t it? They haven’t seen you for ages.”

  “Lovely.”

  Actually it would be seriously dull. Isobel and Geoffrey were old friends of the family. They’d all be talking ten to the dozen amongst themselves and my role would be to stay in the background with a fixed smile on my face, pretending to enjoy the company.

  “And then tomorrow I thought we could go shopping together.”

  “They do have shops in London, Mummy.”

  “I know, dear, but we don’t often get a chance to go shopping together. A mother should do that sort of thing with her daughter once in a while, now, shouldn’t she?”

  When it was a matter of what a mother’s responsibilities were, there was no arguing with her. I knew perfectly well what would happen, though. She would do her best to influence what I bought, and that would be really annoying because I know what I like. And then she’d insist on making me a present of something that didn’t suit me at all, and afterwards I’d have to chuck it or give it to Nadine.

  Sometimes I felt I had nothing in common with my parents any more except my DNA. God knows why I still felt attached to them, but I did. I just wished Mummy would wake up to the fact that I’m not a little girl any more and stop trying to make all my decisions for me. Maybe it was just as well that I’d be leaving the country; it was the only way I’d ever really be free to do my own thing. I didn’t want them to fret, though. I’d have to think of some way of letting them know I was safe without giving the game away.

  “There’s a new family moved into Number 24, Susan. They have a son about your age. He’s very handsome.” Mummy gave me a significant look.

  Oh yes? Is he a six-foot Greek god with a brain like Einstein’s and the bedroom talents of Casanova? Otherwise it’d be a bit of a comedown, you see.

  “I’m sure it would be lovely to meet him, Mummy, but there won’t be much time for that. I have to go back Monday lunchtime. I’ve got work Tuesday morning, and I haven’t done my washing or cleaned the flat yet.”

  She looked crestfallen. “Oh, I thought you could stay a while longer this time, Susan dear! It’s been so long. Do you really have to rush away?”

  “’Fraid so. It was really decent of the Manager to give me this long weekend. There’s a lot to do at the moment.”

  Well wasn’t that the truth! What would you say, Mummy, if you knew that your sweet little daughter was mixed up in a two-million-pound bank robbery? It might come as something of a shock, I imagine.

  Daddy managed to get a word in, for the first time. “Now, Maureen, the girl’s only just got out of the car and you’re already making her head spin with arrangements. Let her get unpacked and settled in, there’s a love.”

  “Oh, yes, I was forgetting! Neville, give her a hand with the luggage, would you…?”

  “I can manage, Mummy.”

  “Nonsense! Neville? Right, off you go dear! And then you can show me what you’re going to wear tonight. I know it’s only coffee, but they are our friends and we want to give them the right impression, don’t we?”

  40

  In retrospect Mike and I probably did over-react when Suzy said she was going to visit her parents. All the same I don’t think we were being unreasonable. When you’ve got an operation running smoothly, as we more or less had, the last thing you want is a major interruption. And Mike and I had worked very hard in the lab, shaving seconds off the time needed to make each projection. We found that if Mike started to recharge the capacitor bank while I was still in resonance he could be ready to make the next projection almost as soon as he’d taken the full duffel bag and swapped it for the empty one. It reduced the turnaround by a full fifteen seconds and we clocked two minutes for the first time. At last, with less than a week to go before we hit the bank, the operation was looking feasible. We both thought Suzy would share our relief. Instead she chose that moment to announce that she was driving down to Kent for a long weekend. We tri
ed to talk her out of it, of course, but she got her way, as she always did.

  She was an obstinate little bitch. Sharp, too. She’d obviously considered the possibility that I could take the money and run. It was strange to find myself using the same argument to reassure her as Mike had used on me earlier. It made me wonder whether he meant it any more than I did. And then her splendid notion that I should double-cross Mike and take all the money! The irony of that appealed to me. Here she was, urging me to think about dumping Mike, when I was thinking how easy it was going to be to dump her!

  I wasn’t actually angry about Suzy’s departure; that would have taken more energy than I had. If nothing else she’d made me realize how much I needed a break myself. Mike took the interruption less gracefully. After two weeks of relentless activity he couldn’t cope with the ensuing vacuum. He mooched around the flat, tidying this and straightening that. Then he perched on the sofa and picked up a newspaper. I thought he was going to settle down to read it but two minutes later he was on his feet again. This time he came back with a carpet sweeper and I had to get up so that he could brush the carpet—more vigorously, it seemed to me, than was necessary. When he’d finished that he put all the furniture back to where it was two weeks ago, before we cleared the centre of the lounge for practice runs. I didn’t say anything but we were only going to have to move it again when we resumed on Tuesday. That must have dawned on him too because he had second thoughts and rearranged all the furniture once more. I dropped into an armchair while he was putting things away and he came back and stood in the centre of the room, looking round and chewing the inside of his cheek. I waited. Finally he said he couldn’t see much point in hanging around: Suzy had gone to see her parents; he might just as well go down to Dagenham and spend the weekend with his. I nodded. He put a few things together and I heard the front door open and close behind him.

  Suddenly it all seemed very peaceful. The only sound I could hear was the faint swish of traffic on the street outside.

 

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