“Holy hell, we have to get you to experience the finer, cheaper things in life.”
“I’d like that.”
“So, Grace, I’m gonna take it you don’t have any kids.”
Grace shook her head. “No.” She brought her glass to her lips. “You?”
“Three.”
Grace choked and spit out.
“Sorry.” Bobby handed her a napkin.
Grace shook her head and wiped her mouth.
“I usually tell that little tid bit first before I ask someone out. I should have. Sorry.”
“No. No, that’s Ok. Three kids. Holy shit. Wow. Where do they live?”
“With me.”
“You raise them.”
“With the help of my mother and father, yeah. My ex just up and left. Must be a woman thing, you know, running away and needing to start a new life … and I’m sorry.”
“That’s OK. It’s all the new rage, you know,” Grace said. “Cosmo is preaching it. So what do you have? Boys? Girls?”
“All girls. Three, five, and eight.”
“Bet they’re nice girls.”
Bobby inhaled. “Um, sure. So … do you want to have kids some day?”
“I’d love to have kids someday. Not quite sure how well I’d be as a mom. I probably suck. Maybe that’s why I can’t have them.”
“Oh, my God, that’s sad. You can’t have kids?”
“Nope. When I was sixteen I was hunting with my father, and I got shot by another hunter who mistook me.”
“You were shot hunting? That’s bizarre.”
“And the truth.”
“So did you keep hunting?”
“Please, once a hunter always a hunter. I love to shoot. I’m better at small game.”
“That is so great. You never had beer or wings, but you hunt.”
“Go figure. I loved a sheltered and pampered life. Even when we hunted it was with the best stuff.”
“You shoot well?” He asked.
“I was born with a gun in my hand. Ok, not born, but one was put in my hand as soon as I could hold it. Hell, my father is …. My father is an avid gun guy.”
“This is such a positive to you,” Bobby said. “Shit. Don’t look now.”
Grace did.
Craig walked over. “Hey, ya’, Bobby, who’s your friend?”
“Craig this is Grace.”
Craig held out his hand. “New in town?”
Grace nodded.
“Wow, anyone ever tell you that you have an uncanny resemblance to Cara Mia Benson.”
Grace’s eyes widened. “Who?”
Bobby turned to Craig. “She’s not that big, Craig. Not everyone knows her.” Bobby returned to Grace. “Cara Mia Benson is B movie queen.”
“Excuse me?” Grace asked with some insult.
“Yeah,” Bobby continued. “She’s not very good and her movies suck.”
Grace gasped.
Craig added. “No, they don’t suck. Bag Lady Betty was decent. Monsters from Maui just came out on video; I’m in line to rent it next.”
“Bag Lady Betty?” Bobby laughed. “Sucked.”
Grace’s chin dropped further.
Bobby continued. “How about that scene where she grabs her feet and cries about her big toe.”
Craig laughed. “Yeah, but she’s hot.”
Grace smiled.
Bobby waved out his hand. “If you like those types.”
The smile fell from Grace’s face.
“Anyhow,” Craig said. “You ought to check her out, Grace. You look like her.”
Bobby gave hard look to Grace. “Nah, I don’t see it at all.”
“It was nice meeting you, Grace.” Craig shook her hand. “See you guys around.”
Bobby was smiling and changed expression when he saw that Grace wasn’t. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re so mean about that actress. How do you know she isn’t good and the movies just were bad?”
“Monsters from Maui.”
“How would you feel if people were running around your back saying your art sucked.”
Bobby hesitated in drinking his beer. “You got a point.”
“Thank you.” Grace grabbed her beer.
“Are you Jewish?”
Again, Grace choked and spit out. “You keep making me do that.”
“I’m sorry. Did that offend you? I was just wondering, because my mom said you were Jewish.”
“No. I’m not Jewish, my last name is. It’s Berkowitz, but I’m not Jewish.”
“Good. Not that it mattered; it’s just that my mom has this thing about me getting a nice Catholic girl.”
“That’s me.” Grace raised her hand. “Born and bred.”
“Grace Berkowitz the nice Catholic girl.”
“Yep.”
“Grace!” Came a male voice, bright and upbeat.
Grace turned her head. Chip and a woman were approaching the table. “Shit.”
“What?” Bobby asked.
Chip walked to the table. “Nice to see you out and are you one a date?”
“Yes,” Grace answered. “First date. This is Bobby. Bobby this is Chip, my manger at Bargain-Mart.”
“Nice to meet you, Bobby.” Chip shook his hand. “Grace and Freddy are quite the addition to the store. This is my wife, Catherine.”
Catherine was petite and pleasant. A semi attractive woman with dark, big hair. “How do you do?”
Chip spoke, “Grace here is the one I was telling you about Dear.”
“Oh. Oh.” She grinned. “Very nice to meet you.”
“Thank you.”
“Chip, sweetie,” Catherine said. “Let’s let them get back to their first date.”
“Sure thing,” Chip said. “Have a good time.”
Just as she walked away, Catherine stopped. “Oh, shoot, Grace, forgot. Chip says you told him you were Jewish and wanting to meet other Jewish woman. I’m here. If you wanna go to the Synagogue with me, just let me know, I’ll take you and introduce you to the rabbi.”
Grace gave a thumbs up. “Thanks.”
Bobby stared, and after they had left ear distance, faced Grace. “I thought you said you were Catholic.”
“I am.”
“But you told them you were Jewish.”
“It’s a new thing,” Grace said.
“A new thing?”
“Yes.” Then Grace proceeded to do what she always did, rambled fast. “I’m a Christian Jew. Jewish Christian. One day I believe Jesus was the son of God, the next day I don’t. Probably why I can write my book. It goes back and forth. Jesus is God, Jesus is not. There’s a special church for folks like us. Best of both worlds. Whoever I date is in luck, I celebrate Hanukah and Christmas.” She flashed a smile.
“Yeah.” Bobby chuckled in disbelief, shaking his head. He looked at Grace, chuckled again. “As I said, you’re funny.” He grabbed his beer.
+++
Numerous artists had recorded the song, but Alfonzo enjoyed the version by Jay and the Americans, recorded in 1965.
Cara Mia
The song which started out with a slow tempo, picked p with a swing, and the vocals held emotional punch.
Probably not as much of an emotional punch that Lou wanted to give his son.
Al played the song over and over.
The song ended, and then it started again. The repeat button was pressed, and Lou shut off the music the second he walked into Alfonzo’s living room.
“You’re fucking sick and twisted,” Lou said. “Holy fuck. Get over this.”
“I can’t. I can’t.” Alfonzo downed his drink. “This is the first women I have loved heart and soul and I want her back.”
“Al, I’m not sure it’s gonna work between you two.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Lou chuckled. “You kill people. She doesn’t. That can be a damper.”
“Small problem. She loves the lifestyle so much, she can over look it.”
“Yo
u may have a point. Buy Cara Mia her very own Starbucks store and she’ll be yours forever.”
“I believe that,” Al said.
“I’m joking.” Lou sat down on the couch. “Any luck?”
“No. Not at all. They’re still looking for the woman in Honolulu.” Al sighed out. “I know I’ll hear something soon.”
“What are you gonna do once you find her?” Lou asked.
“Hold her. Kiss her …”
Lou cringed. “After that. I mean about what she saw. You gonna bring it up. You have to still deal with the queer.”
“I know. Right now I can’t think about that.”
“You need to think about that. People in the organization need answers. Enquiring minds want to know.”
Suddenly Alfonzo looked up to his father. “Say that again.”
“People in the organization …”
“Further.”
“Enquiring minds want to know?”
“Bingo. That’s it.” Al stood up. “Pop! That’s it!”
“What’s it?”
“The way to find her.
“I’m lost.” Lou tossed up his hands, watching Alfonzo pick up the phone. “What are you doing?”
“Starting the search process.”
“Who are you calling?”
“Who else?” Alfonzo smiled. “The National Enquirer.”
+++
Freddy wanted to feel brave. He wanted to feel macho. Even though he hated that movie he saw in the afternoon, he still loved the machoism portrayed by the lead actor.
What better way to learn to be a bit more macho than to watch a John Wayne or Clint Eastwood movie. He picked up several from the video store, and none grabbed his fancy.
A summer storm kicked up and the branches of the tree outside the window scraped occasionally against the pane of glass. The howling wind and pattering of rain beat loudly against the trailer home.
It dawned on Freddy. A horror movie.
He ran the movies back down to the video store before they closed and asked the clerk what he thought the scariest new movie was around.
He handed him Amityville Horror.
Freddy didn’t recall seeing the original so it was perfect. He could relate. Small town horror drama.
Thirty minutes into the film, Freddy wasn’t just scared he was down right frightened. He cuddled to the corner of the couch, remote in hand, shutting off the movie, turning it back on.
Finally, he subdued enough and drew up the bravery within him to leave it on.
A quiet portion.
Quiet.
Ding-Dong.
The doorbell caused Freddy to scream from his skin. Nervously he paused the movie, and looked at the time. Midnight.
He opened the front door.
Bobby stood on the porch with Grace draped over his shoulder.
Freddy screamed and slammed the door. He raced for the phone.
The door opened, “Freddy, what hell?” Bobby asked. “It’s raining out there.”
“What did you do to my friend, you masculine beast.”
“Huh?” Bobby asked. “Oh she passed out drunk. Where is her bedroom?”
“Down the hall. Don’t think of doing anything funny, like dressing her in weird clothing or something.”
“I won’t.” Bobby chuckled.
“Because I’m gonna do that after you leave.”
Bobby’s body shook as he carried Grace down the hall. “The room with the pink bedspread?” he called out.
“No, that’s mine, the blue spread.”
“Got it.”
A few second later, Bobby returned. “I covered her, but she is still accessible for you to play a practical joke.”
“When did she pass out?”
“As soon as the fresh air hit her, she said her head was spinning, she started giggling, we got in the truck and out she went,” Bobby said. “I tried to wake her, but she wouldn’t budge.”
“How much did she drink?”
“That’s what I don’t get. She must be a lightweight. She only drank like two and a half beers.”
Freddy gasped dramatically.
“What?” Bobby asked.
“She’s allergic to yeast. Not hives allergic. Or deathly allergic. Not even breathing problem allergic, she won’t die in her sleep. But we have to watch how much yeasts she consumes. She gets this neurological relation, like … like she’s drunk. Add alcohol …” Freddy whistled.
“If she’s allergic to yeast, why did she get beer?”
“She probably doesn’t have a clue that there’s even yeast in beer. Poor thing.”
Bobby chuckled. “If you can get her up in a bit, make her drink some water so she doesn’t get hung over.”
“Sure thing.” Freddy walked Bobby to the door. “So what are you doing right now?”
“Why?”
“Well, I want to finish watching my movie but I’m scared. Just a tad. I thought if you could do a masculine thing and watch it with me; I’ll let you help me play the practical joke on Grace.”
“What movie are you watching?”
“Amityville Horror.”
Bobby looked at his watch. “Yeah, I’ll stay. What the hell.”
“Oh. Thank you.” Freddy clapped. “Would you like a drink?”
“No, I’m good for now.” Bobby walked over and sat on the couch.
“I appreciate this.” Freddy grabbed the remote.
“No problem.”
“If I get scared, may we cuddle?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Doesn’t hurt to ask.” Freddy shrugged, and pointed the remote.
CHAPTER SIX
Grace’s phone rang.
Then it rang again.
“Aren’t you gonna answer it?” Freddy asked.
“No.”
“Then just shut it off.”
“I can’t,” Grace said.
“Why?”
“If I shut it off, then it will go straight to voice mail, then he’ll know I shut it off. This way he’s like, ‘oh, she’s still sleeping’”
“Grace, he’s probably worried about you.”
“Worried? Oh my God, Freddy, how stupid did I look last night?’
“Pretty stupid.”
“Thanks.”
“Princess, why did you drink beer? Didn’t you know there was yeast in beer?”
“There’s yeast in beer?” Grace sighed out. “Oh, that’s what happened. I thought beer was some major alcoholic beverage and I just pounded away.”
“You did look pretty cute tossed over his shoulder like a sack.”
Grace snickered.
“Call him.”
“No,” Grace said.
“You suck.”
“I know.”
“I’m leaving.” Freddy walked to the door.
“Whoa. Wait. Where are you going? Why are you leaving because I won’t answer the phone?”
“I’m going to the retirement home and having lunch with the seniors. Marybeth said they need people to talk to. Be a nice volunteer effort on my part, the angels will smile on me. Not Gabriel of course. We know what you’re doing with him.” Freddy raised an eyebrow.
“How come you’re hanging out with her so much? Are you bored with me?”
“No. Why do you go put on some lipstick and come with me?”
“To have lunch with senior citizens?” Grace shook her head. “I’ll pass. The only old person I have been around is my father and he’s not that old.”
“Fearful of the future. Scared maybe that you’ll see a person that will remind you of yourself when you get old.”
“Yes.”
“Me, too. But …” Freddy opened the door. “I have been conquering a lot of fears lately. I … I … are you ready for this? I used Right Guard today.”
Grace gasped.
“I feel so masculine.” Freddy took a deep breath. “Scary movies, Right Guard. What’s next? Me a heterosexual.”
Pause.
&
nbsp; Both of them shook their heads with a ‘nah’.
“See you an hour or so.” Freddy left.
Alone. Grace didn’t mind, she could work on her novel and sulk. Sulk because she felt so foolish about the night before. She thought it went well, even danced a little. It was so every day, Grace was hoping Bobby would ask her out for another. But then, walking to the truck was all she remembered. She woke up with her hair sticking up, and her Bargain-Mart vest on backwards like Larson. When she did imitated Larson, she didn’t know. But probably during her blackout phase. Freddy told her he had to stop her from eating the air freshener.
She just couldn’t face Bobby. For as stupid as it sounded, she couldn’t. He was really a nice guy and Grace liked him. Maybe the drunken stupor was a blessing. After all, going out a second time, might mean a third, and that would constitute starting something with him. How could she conceivable start a friendship or relationship with him, when she couldn’t tell him the truth about herself? Honesty was important. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t honest when she lived in Hollywood. But in Lodi, Grace was pretty certain that being honest was a given.
She had to put it out of her mind. It was almost time for a latte, and since she knew Bobby was painting today, she could go to town freely without fear of running into him.
She’d work on a scene and head on out.
+++
“Freddy!” Marybeth called out brightly, and hustled her way to him as he walked through the entrance.
“Don’t you look adorable in that pink smock?”
“Thanks, I love pink,” Marybeth said.
“Me, too.”
“You’re early.”
Freddy looked at his watch. “You said, eleven for lunch.”
“No, I said we start getting them ready for lunch at eleven. Some like to get dressed up, we need to wheel some down.”
“Can I help?”
“That would be great. You can help pick out their clothes.”
“My forte.” Freddy smiled.
“Freddy, I know this is your day of and all. If you don’t want to, you can say so. But Thursday is a big activity day. You know, the seniors they start getting antsy waiting on the weekend. I was wondering if you’d like to stay and call bingo and watch the talent show.”
Freddy gasped. “Bingo and a senior citizen talent show?”
“Yes. We have a karaoke machine.”
Charmed Life Page 9