“Oh, you will not be disappointed. His ‘Over the Rainbow’ is tear inducing in a good way.”
“Then let’s go check for that dress.” Bobby opened the truck door for Grace.
With the weight of the previous night off her shoulders, along getting out of jail, and him agreeing to ‘bear with her’, Grace was a bit more relieved as she rode with Bobby.
CHAPTER SEVEN
They left early enough for work to get a Starbucks at the plaza. Freddy kept singing ‘Sound of Music’ all morning long, still on a high from his senior home performance. He had to practice Julie Andrews, they requested a Julie tribute. Problem was, Freddy was having trouble coming up with enough material.
“Perhaps they’ll settle for a musical tribute,” Freddy said in the car. “A tribute to great musicals.”
“That might work,” Grace said. “You can add Oklahoma.”
“Bye-Bye Birdie.”
“Yes.”
“I just wish I would have had my false eyelashes,” Freddy said. “It would have gone over so much better. I had to borrow make up from the Senior Home workers.”
“I don’t think it mattered, Freddy. You entertained them and they loved it.”
“True.”
“I’m glad I went.”
“Me, too. I am glad Bobby showed with you. Wasn’t that nice of him to get you out of jail.”
“It was. I’m happy.”
“Grace, sweetie,” Freddy said. “It was Larson. Did it not dawn on you one time that perhaps he didn’t understand you?”
“No, he was really engrossed in my story.”
“A-huh,” Freddy nodded.
“And, I honestly thought for a moment it was the store that made him goofy.”
“The store? Was his hair still sticking up?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Clothes, backwards?”
“Yeah.”
“Band-Aid on his nose for no particular reason.”
“He may have had a cut.”
“Grace, and you still believed him when he said he could drive.”
“He said he could.” Grace sighed out. “I know now, I’ll never believe him again.”
“You have such innocence about you,” Freddy said. “Speaking of innocence. Have you given any thought to the fact that Bobby has three children?”
“Yeah, I did. But I can’t let that be the determining factor in seeing him or not. That wouldn’t be cool. What if I make a fuss about him having kids, end up liking him, he could hold that against me.”
“I’m not speaking about the kids being a bad thing, dear.”
“What do you mean?”
“You …. Handling children.”
“Oh.” Grace nodded.
“Yes, I know. Have you ever interacted with a child?” he asked.
“No, but I’ve seen them.” Grace said.
“You realize, a few more dates, he’s gonna introduce you to his kids. Or worse yet, you’ll run into them. You’ll be very ill prepared.”
Grace sighed out. “I know. But I have time, right?”
“Right. He hasn’t asked you out again.”
“No he hasn’t”
“I mean,” Freddy said. “Getting drunk, passing out on your first date, getting another man’s number, taking a joy ride with Larson, and getting arrested may have hampered the relationship possibilities.”
“You think?”
Freddy shrugged. “Can’t rule it out. But, just incase. You have time. In case he asks you out again, you just need to practice.”
“How? How do you practice with kids?”
“Simple.” Freddy pulled into the parking lot. “Look where we work.”
Grace sighed out with smile. “You are so smart”
“Hang around the toy department.”
“Excellent, Idea. There’s bound to be children there.”
“Exactly, well, are we ready? It’s Friday and … we’re doing my cheer.” Freddy parked the car. “Let’s go.”
+++
“Go! Bargain Mart!!!!” The employees cheered. “Yeah.”
A round of enthusiastic applause filled the store and Freddy grasped his chest in exhilaration. “I just love that. I love doing the cheer, you?” he asked Grace.
“It’s OK.” Grace shrugged.
“Freddy,” Chip called out. “You have a second?”
“Sure,” Freddy replied.
“Morning, Grace,” Chip said. “How was your date?”
Grace opened her mouth to speak but …
Freddy answered. “Disastrous, simply disastrous. She forgot about her allergy to yeast drank two beers, and passed out.”
Chip cringed. “I’m sorry. Dating will get better. But, a bit of advice, Grace. Going out and riding about with Larson isn’t the way to do it.”
Grace cringed.
“Anyhow,” Chip turned to Freddy. “Weird thing. While you were off, several people stopped by customer service. Five of them, men, asked for us to mark them down for when you would be back.”
“You told them, today, right?”
Chip nodded. “I took their names, but didn’t have a clue why. Can you explain?”
“Was one of them a big, burly man, Grizzly Adams beard, flannel shirt.”
“Yes. Yes.” Chip nodded.
“He has a wedding this weekend. Stopped by. I was directing him in fashion, he wasn’t happy. Then I told him, comeback when I’m working again, but bring a suit jacket. In fact, I told all the men that. I would work with what they had and they’d have to purchase minimally, if they couldn’t afford. I said to them, tell me what you can afford to spend, and I’ll see what I can do. I made an arrangement with Patty over in the hair salon. We’re gonna do make overs, Affordable make overs for these men, using all Bargain-Mart items.”
“Really?”
“I think I can do wonders for them, using what we have. They all were impressed, said they wanted to impress their wives. In fact, I spoke to Heather in photos; she’ll be doing before and after photos for future clients.”
“We can’t charge these people, Freddy …”
“Oh, we’re not. It’s a Freddy service. They seem delighted. If I am going to be in men’s clothing, why not make the best of it. Why? Are we not allowed to take that extra customer service step? One would think, we would want to be known as the Bargain-Mart store that makes a difference.”
Chip nodded. “Let’s see how this works. So, um, you can take what we have at home, and mix it with store items to get a good look.”
“Absolutely, mix and match. Accessorize. I even brought my measuring tape to make sure the fit is perfect.”
“I um, I have a party at my wife’s synagogue next week. Do you think you can help me?”
“Absolutely, Chip. Jewish Sexy, I love it.”
Chip smiled. “Great. I’ll stop by men’s today. I want to see how this Freddy fashion thing goes, anyhow.”
Freddy nodded.
“Have a good day.” Chip walked on.
Freddy turned to Grace with excitement. “Can you believe it?”
Grace grinned. “You just take off in whatever you do. You will make such a mark in this store, you know.”
“Wall of fame here I come.” Freddy clenched a fist and shot it in the air. “We’d better get on our floors. Have a great, great day!”
“You, too.” Grace waved to Freddy as he walked away, and she turned. Her smile dropped and somehow she wondered how good of a day she would have. Louise with a typical miserable look, stood there waiting and tapping her watch.
+++
Larson loved music. In fact, he was thrilled when David in electronics gave him that set of head phones to wear in the store. They weren’t Bargain-Mart headphones. Stores probably stopped carrying those decades earlier. Big, giant, bulk things, bright and orange.
Chip said he could wear them if he didn’t sing.
Larson didn’t quite understand that. So he sang anyhow. Not to the music in his head
phones. There was none. But to the music in his head.
Singing Credence Clearwater Revival, Larson belted out strongly, “Down on the Corner!’ loudly and bad as he wandered into the music section of the store.
“Excuse me,” a gentleman tapped him on the back. “Excuse me, young man.”
Larson stopped singing.
“Can you help me?”
“Yes. Yes. Oh, yes.” Larson nodded. “I’m …” He spun his back to the man to show him his name tag. “Larson. Well, well, welcome to Bargain-Mart.”
“Thanks,” the guy smiled. “Anyhow, I’m looking for a CD. It might be an old one, not sure. Best of the Beatles.”
“Bugs.”
“Beatles.”
“Pests.”
“The ... the Beatles. Do you know if you have that CD?”
“CD?”
The man huffed. “Yes.”
“Yes.” Without warning, Larson grabbed hold of the man’s arm and dragged him to the CD’s. After looking at the rack for a second, Larson paused, turned to the person, took off his headphones, and handed them to the man.
“No, thank you I don’t want …”
Before the man could finish speaking, Larson shoved the headphones on him.
“Son, I …” Disk after disk Larson put in his arms. “Son. No this isn’t what I want.”
More. One right after another, if they fell from the man’s arms, Larson bent down and picked them up, shoving them back in his arms again.
The man must have been forced to hold fifty disks.
Across the department, Joe Welsh came back from seeing Chip. He saw the mishap with Larson, and before he went to intervene, he picked up the phone. “Tell Louise we found Larson.”
+++
Louise spoke into the phone that was attached to the pole in the middle of the store. Actually, all the way over in toys. “Yeah, thanks,” she said. “Just do what you can to hold him there until we arrive.” She hung up. “They found him.”
“Oh, good,” Grace said.
“Yeah, at least he didn’t wander on to the highway again.”
“That is good.”
“All your faul,t too.” Louise shook her head. “If you hadn’t been hanging around talking to Fruity we wouldn’t have lost Larson.”
“Sorry.”
“Quit apologizing.” Louise turned and started to walk. “Let’s go.”
“OK.’
“All the way over in fucking toys.”
“Excuse me,” A woman stopped Louise. “Do you know if you guys have any Cuddle Wudddle Loveable bears?”
“Toots, do I look like I know what a Cuddle Wuddle Loveable Bear is?”
“No.” The woman shook her head.
“We do,” Grace interjected. “Right on the end cap over there.”
“Thank you.”
Louise gave a stern look at Grace. “You trying to show me up?’
“No, I …”
“Make me look bad?”
“No, I was just …”
“You and I are so gonna go round and round one day.” Louise shook her head and started walking.
“Louise?” Grace hurried to catch up. “Do you have any children?”
Louise came to a screeching halt. “What the fuck kind of question is that?”
“Just wondering.”
“Do I look like the type of woman who has children?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” Grace shrugged. “I don’t know what a woman who has children looks like.”
“She doesn’t look like me and she doesn’t look like you. That’s for sure.”
“So I take it the answer is no.”
“Oh, you are a bright one.” Louise shook her head. “No wonder you got yourself in trouble yesterday.”
“How … how did you know?”
“Larson’s mom. I pick the kid up for work everyday,” Louise said. “She explained that you and special boy went joy riding in her mini van. Said they arrested you and tossed you in the slammer.”
“That’s true, they did.”
“Well, that’s about the only thing we have in common.” Louise huffed. “They strip search ya, body cavity?”
“No. They just arrested me.”
“Oh, so you served pussy time.”
Grace nearly choked. “What do you mean we have something in common? Did you go joyriding with Larson?”
“What the hell kind of idiot do you think I am? Anyone in their right mind, who doesn’t get whacko over eating bread, knows he can’t drive. What I meant was, I served time.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Hard time, too.” Louise explained as they walked. “Fifty-three years to be exact.”
“Oh my God!” Grace yelped. “Fifty-three years?”
“Yep. Got parole two years ago. That’s why I love my job, Bargain-Mart gave me a fresh start. And my time served wasn’t any cat walk. It was manual labor, bad food, solitary confinement and blow jobs to the warden.”
“You poor thing. What did you do?”
Louise stopped walking again. “Don’t call me a poor thing. I did the time. I paid the price. I killed my husband.”
“You … you were in prison for murdering someone.”
“Actually, two people. My husband and his mistress. Caught the fucker cheating on me. He was working late, I was bringing him his dinner, feeling bad for the asshole, I walk in. There they were. Him and his mistress doing the deed on his desk.”
“Oh my God. I would have freaked. Did you just go crazy, what?”
“Why you asking?”
“Curious.” Grace shrugged. “It’s the writer in me.”
“You ain’t gonna write a book on me are you?’
“Not unless you want me to.”
“Hmm.” Louise tipped her chin. “I’ll think about it. Anyhow, what did you ask me?”
“If you went nuts and just killed them.”
“Yeah, eventually.”
“Eventually?” Grace asked.
“Yeah, I should have done it right then. Probably would have gotten out twenty years earlier. But I was so pissed, I went home. He never knew I was there and I plotted. Got a gun, waited until he called me to say he was gonna be late, I went to his office, caught them together again, and blew both their fucking brains out.”
Grace gasped.
“But I’m reformed. I’m a Christian now. And there’s Larson.”
Grace’s eyes widened when she saw Larson duct taped to the register.
“Whacha gone and done this time, boy?” Louise asked, and smiled to Joe behind the desk. “Thanks, Joe.”
“No, problem, he was trying to run again.”
Louise grabbed the edge of the tape that went across Larson’s chest and arms. “You have to stay with us. You can’t wander, you hear?”
Rip.
Larson screamed.
Rip.
Larson screamed again, and when he was free, ran to Grace.
“It’s Ok,” Grace hugged him.
Louise pulled Larson away. “Don’t coddle the boy, for Christ sake.”
“Sorry.”
“Ladies!” Chip called out. “I see you got Larson.”
“Found him,” Louise said. “He’s getting tough.”
“I know.” Chip nodded. “Well, you two bright spots are just the gals I’m looking for.”
Louise raised her eyebrows. “Bright spots. Gals? You ain’t hitting on us Chipster are you?”
“No. No, I …”
“Not wanting us to do some perverted sex act in the back?” Louise asked. “Because remember, I turned lesbo last year.”
“Yes, Louise,” Chip nodded. “Your girlfriend makes it very easy for us to remember you changed your sexual orientation. But I’m here because I have great news.”
“What is it?” Louise asked.
“The greeter position is now open. Training starts … now.” He looked at his watch. “For a few hours, then tomorrow full time.”
Louise jumped.
“Hot dog! I’m it!”
“Actually …” Chip closed one eye. “I was thinking of making Grace a door greeter.”
Louise snarled. “Her?”
Grace cringed.
“Fine,” Louise snapped. “I’ll blow you for it.”
With a wince, Chip shook his head. “No, Louise, that’s …” he sighed out. “I just thought Grace would be a great greeter.”
“Why?” Louise asked.
“Because she’s pleasant and doesn’t smoke on the floor.”
“I can hold off smoking.”
Grace raised a hand. “Chip, I really don’t want to be a greeter. I really want to work the floor for a while.”
“But that would put you with Larson,” Chip said. “You’d have to be responsible for him.”
“I can do that, I like Larson.” Grace smiled.
“Ok, fine.” Chip raised his hands and let them fall to a slap to his thighs. “Louise, go ahead up front.”
“Hot Dog!” She skipped and jumped and started walking away. She stopped. “Does this mean I still have to blow you?”
Wincing again, Chip shook his head. After Louise was gone, he looked at Grace. “Did you really not want to be a greeter?”
“She wanted the job and I want peace. Somehow …” Grace exhaled. “I have a feeling it wouldn’t happen if I took that job.”
“Understand. OK, I’m gonna put you on Go-backs today.”
Grace nodded, she didn’t mind doing go-backs. It was backward shopping, where she and Larson would return the merchandise to the shelves. “Works.”
“If we run out of go-backs, I’ll .. I’ll put you on cart duty.”
Grace nodded.
“There are six carts up front,” Chip said. “I’ll check on you later.” Just as he stepped forward, he snapped his finger. “Almost forgot.”
“What’s that?”
Chip reached into his back pocket. “Larson’s mom stopped by, signed the consent forms, and gave us this.” It was the type of swirling, stretchable chord found on a telephone. Expandable, and red. On one end was a Velcro wristband, the other a latch. “Just put this one end on your wrist, the other on his belt.” He handed it to Grace.
“What is it?” she asked.
“A child leash.”
Chip walked away.
Grace just stared at the item and spoke aloud. “I have to walk Larson on a leash?”
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