She could only nod in answer, once again caught in the emerald depths of his eyes. Her body heated and her cheeks flushed at the reaction.
He turned back to the window. “I used a protection spell to ward the room. If they manage to track us, they can’t get to you without doing serious, even fatal damage to themselves. Can you feel it?”
Ever since she’d stepped into their room, she’d been aware of a kind of faint electric current, a slight tingling across her skin. “I think I can, yes.”
Without looking back, he said, “Tell me about your power, Eve.”
Not a request. They hadn’t really talked about her powers since her collapse. Her training sessions had been cut short as well, and now she’d left the compound she wasn’t sure how she was going to master them. She knew the sudden change of subject was a way to distract her, to stop her from worrying, but now she just had another thing to worry about.
They had the night to kill before the next available flight out. She’d rather watch a movie than talk about how afraid she was of the demon side of herself, but Lazarus wasn’t the kind of man you argued with.
“When it first started, I could only hear a person when they were in my immediate vicinity, but lately it seems to have grown stronger. Sometimes I even get the odd image flashing through my mind,” she admitted.
“It’s developing. It’ll only become more intense over time.”
He delivered it in that same emotionless, matter-of-fact way. No biggie. Like the other bombs he’d dropped since he’d stormed into her life.
Because of this thing, because of what she was, she’d already been torn from her life. She couldn’t see anything positive in her future if she couldn’t master her power. How could she ever have any type of relationship with all that noise vibrating through her skull? Suffering through every one of their negative thoughts, streaming directly into her head, smacking her around the cranium until she was emotionally bruised and battered.
All she could see ahead of her was more loneliness.
In that moment, the fragile walls she’d built since Lazarus stormed into her life crumpled. It was too much. Eve tried to hide her face, horrified when the first sob tore from her throat.
“Eve?”
“Why me?” She shook her head in her hands. “I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this. I wish you’d just…I wish you’d…” She was unable to say the words.
Footsteps moved toward her. Lazarus knelt down and took her frozen hands in his, rubbing them between his large rough ones. He’d seen something in her, had heard it in her voice. “You wish I’d what?” he said, voice low, hard, terrifying.
She didn’t want to talk about it. Not now, not ever. “Nothing. Forget I said anything.”
“Answer me, Eve. You will finish that sentence.” He placed a finger under her chin and made her look at him.
Humiliation colored her cheeks, and her gaze darted away, focusing on anything but the male in front of her. How could she admit to what had been going through her mind? What had gone through her mind more times than she wanted to admit, even to herself?
“Look at me,” he growled.
Disappearing sounded like a fantastic idea about now, but he wasn’t giving up anytime soon, and last time she checked, vanishing wasn’t part of her skill set.
“Eve, look at me. Now.”
No. Anything but this. Don’t make me say it. As fascinating as the purple flowers on the curtains were, she couldn’t stare at them all night. So she lifted her gaze, zeroing in on his chin, and after several seconds trailed up to his lips, lips that made her want things, so many impossible things.
Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she ignored the nerves flapping in her belly and locked stares with him. “I wish…I wish you’d ended all this for me the moment you’d walked into my store,” she whispered.
His nostrils flared and his jaw clenched so tight she winced. “You want me to end your life?” he said so quietly she barely heard him.
She cringed. Hearing her own words out loud for the first time made what had only been a deep, dark secret, locked up tight and hidden in the back of her mind, real.
He shook his head and those lips she’d been admiring curled. “I thought you were stronger than that. You’re not the only person in the world to have a shitty life, Eve. And believe me, you’re not the only person to want to check out and leave it all behind. But I will tell you this right now. You don’t get to bail on me. Do you understand? I won’t let you.”
Anger welled up inside her. “Why the hell do you care?” she yelled. “You don’t know anything about me or my life.”
His nostrils flared as he dragged in a rough breath. “I want to…on both counts.”
She shook her head, didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want to risk believing in him or his empty words.
He cupped her jaw. “This new world, it’s your world. Where you belong. It won’t be a walk in the park, but things will settle down. You’ll meet people like you. You will find acceptance…a life worth living. I promise you that.”
Hope bloomed, no matter how much she wanted to deny it or try to squash it and protect herself from any more pain.
“I can help you, Eve. It may take time, but you will eventually be capable of blocking your power when you want to. Until then, I’ll continue to do it for you.”
She searched his eyes. “Really?”
“Of course.” He smiled, a small curve of his lips, not like the one he’d given her in his bathroom back at the compound, but his face transformed. His callused hands worked hers, thawing the chill from her fingers like nothing else could, and sent little tingles up her arms as his skin grazed lightly across hers.
Her gaze moved over his features, hard, fierce, then down to his mouth. He would have looked brutal if not for that sensual mouth. He reached up and, using the pad of his thumb, brushed her cheek with tender care. It came away wet.
“I’m sorry, it’s just…this is just…”
“Shhh, it’s all right. It’s going to be all right.” He leaned forward and kissed her next tear away, followed by the next. Featherlight presses of those firm lips moved along her cheek, then worked their way to her jaw and across to her mouth.
Their lips met, the heat of his searing hers. Lazarus’s big body tensed against hers for a split second, but then he repeated the touch, tentative at first. His tongue eased out, tasting the seam of her lips in a sensual slide that had her opening for him without thought or hesitation, and he swept inside.
Totally lost to the exquisite, drugging sensation of his kiss, the world dissolved around her. He growled low, pulling her in closer, gripping her tighter. She leaned in as well, needing to feel his body pressed against hers, and clutched at his shoulders. A whimper filled the silence, and she realized the needy sound had come from her. Reaching up, she threaded her fingers in his hair and tried to tug him closer, like that was even possible.
What started out as sweet and gentle erupted into almost painful hunger. Her body went up in flames. This wasn’t a slow exploration anymore; this was hard, urgent, all consuming. This was madness but she couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop. Something happened when he touched her, and all sanity flew out the window.
She fisted his shirt and moaned into his mouth as he moved forward, looming over her, forcing her back on the bed. His hard body came down on hers while rough fingers tugged at the buttons down the front of her dress.
When there was enough room, he slipped his large hand inside, groaning as he cupped and squeezed her breast, pinching the hard nipple through the silk fabric of her bra. She whimpered as he continued to ravage her mouth. His tongue moved against hers with a sensual onslaught that left her head swimming and her body hot and desperate for more.
Her legs parted and his large body instantly filled the vacant space. The massive proof of his arousal brushed the most aching part of her and he growled again. One of his hands moved down to cup her rear, holding her tight against him, and he rolle
d his hips.
Eve cried out, both relieved and tortured by the pressure she’d been desperate for. His mouth trailed down her neck, sucking and nibbling, sending her into sensation overload as he ground against her again, the intense contact only heightened further by the lace of her panties moving against her sensitive flesh. She was wet and hot, and his repeated thrusts quickly brought her to the edge.
She shifted beneath him, tilting her hips to gain closer contact. She needed more, wanted everything. “Please, Lazarus,” she whimpered. “Please, I need you.”
He stilled abruptly, his powerful biceps locking under her palms. His big body shook and sweat beaded on his forehead.
“What is it?” Midnight flashed across his irises. “Lazarus…your eyes.”
He flinched.
She reached up, touching his temple. “What’s wrong?”
He shuddered and shook his head. “Nothing.”
Her mouth fell open when he rolled his hips again.
“Don’t stop,” she gasped.
He thrust again, his teeth gritted.
Eve cried out, body trembling beneath him. Then she started coming, waves of heat, of pleasure, washing over her so strong all she could do was cling to him.
Lazarus’s face went to the side of her neck, puffs of his hot breath tickling her skin. They stayed like that for several minutes. He was still hard.
“Lazarus…”
He moved then, sliding off her but staying close. She tried to keep her eyes open.
“Rest,” he said.
She didn’t have much choice. She was exhausted all of a sudden, boneless.
Eve woke several times during the night, and each time Lazarus was there beside her. When she finally woke to the morning sun streaming under the curtains she was alone in bed. Lazarus stood by the window, looking out at the streets below.
“You’re awake,” she said, lifting to her elbows.
He turned to her, a tight, pained smile curving his lips. “Yeah. I wanted to make sure we’re safe to leave. I can’t sense anything close by.”
She held the sheet close to her chest. “That’s good.”
His gaze slid over her. “It’s time to get ready. We need to leave soon.”
He turned away, giving her what privacy he could in the small room as she climbed out of bed.
“I’ll just go freshen up.” She rushed to the bathroom and closed herself in.
Some kind of force was pushing her toward him. She felt it, and it was so damn strong. She certainly wasn’t acting like herself. She wasn’t overly experienced, had only slept with two guys, and now she was throwing herself at a man, a demon, she hardly knew.
A male who had gotten her off but hadn’t wanted the same from her in return.
She swallowed, a lump forming in her throat. Did he not want her like that? He’d kissed her twice, but last night he hadn’t…
Eve shut down the direction her thoughts were going.
She stared at herself in the mirror, her still puffy lips from kissing him, her wild hair, and cringed. God, the guy had only been trying to make her feel better, and she’d jumped him.
Get it together, Eve.
This was a job to him. Nothing more.
She couldn’t afford to forget that again.
Chapter 13
Lazarus led Eve to their seats on board the Boeing 737. Christ, he hated traveling this way, but they didn’t have much choice. They usually used their own plane for times like this when they needed to travel with their demi, but since Gunner was their pilot, that option was out. Gunner had gotten worse, had locked himself in one of the holding cells below their compound, afraid he’d hurt someone.
He glanced at Eve. She hadn’t met his eyes since this morning, had kept them hidden from him since they did what they had last night.
After the way he’d acted, her silence didn’t surprise him. He’d come so damn close to taking her, to sinking inside her and losing his head completely. He should have pulled away, but there was no way he could have left her wanting. Every part of him had rejected the idea.
So he’d fucking rubbed up on her until she got off then he’d forced himself to stop before his control snapped completely and he’d taken more. Fuck, it had left him hurting.
That persistent hum, his constant awareness of Eve had only gotten more intense. It felt like she was plugged directly into his nervous system and sent a continual electrical current straight to his dick.
Shit, having her soft, pliant body beside him had tormented him through the long night, but he couldn’t make himself get up and sleep in the chair. She’d wriggled and squirmed in her sleep, had made these breathy little sounds, driving him crazy. He’d barely resisted finishing where they’d left off. Taking what he wanted. What he needed.
The temptation to claim her had almost won out.
The situation was a huge mess, and after her confession last night—that she would rather die, than face this new life—he knew he had to tread carefully from now on. But the pain radiating from her had damn near killed him.
He scrubbed his hands over his face. His mind whirled, full of contradictions.
What the hell was he going to do? What if he couldn’t convince her that mating with him was the best decision for both of them?
And then there was the effect Eve’s presence had on his demon, something he hadn’t anticipated. Especially since they hadn’t mated yet. When he’d touched her, kissed her, his demon had actually calmed. Shit, the bastard had purred. Oh, it still reared and bucked, but only because that dark side of him craved the light it recognized in her.
He found he was actually capable of a level of control over his demon that he hadn’t had since Tobias’s desertion. Since he found Eve, he’d twice prevented his demon from breaking free and wreaking the havoc it continually screamed for, and both times that had been because of Eve.
What if they didn’t actually have to mate?
Could sex be enough?
If that was the answer, she’d be able to move on with her life once he’d taken down Tobias. He and his brothers would regain control and she wouldn’t be tied to him, not in any way. His desire for her wouldn’t lessen, but then he’d already planned to walk away, to face a future craving her and never being satisfied. A price he was willing to pay. Whatever it took to protect her from him.
Nothing you don’t deserve.
It would mean deceiving her, but it would be for the best. In the long run, it would be for the best.
He squeezed his eyes shut.
How could he ask that of her? How could he ask her to let him use her body like that? Besides, he wasn’t even sure it would work. Was he willing to risk his brothers to find out?
Jesus, he’d lost his goddamned mind.
Up until recently, they’d all been tracking Tobias. The situation hadn’t been ideal. They still had to retrieve the newly changed demi-demons, like Eve, while hunting rogue demons that escaped into the city. Now they were all unstable, and in Gunner’s case, caged like a wild animal. Things couldn’t get much worse. His only option was holding off his own demon long enough to find Tobias.
And there was only one way that he knew how to do that with certainty.
Mating with Eve.
Their brother’s death was the only thing that could restore the delicate balance between good and evil warring inside each of them. If he failed, the knights would be lost forever, and mankind would become easy prey to Diemos and his demons.
A child’s cry brought him from his thoughts and back to the now full plane. Eve was settled back in her seat, still avoiding his gaze, and she continued to do so after they’d taken flight a short time later.
He could feel her fear and had the uncharacteristic urge to provide comfort. He’d never been good with words, or people for that matter, and had no idea how to go about it. But at this point anything he said would be insufficient.
So he stayed quiet.
He glanced over at Eve again, unable t
o help himself. She was dressed in jeans and a blue shirt with the words Read Books Not T-shirts stretched across her large breasts. The female looked good, too damn good. Her thick, dark hair sat piled on top of her head in a loose ponytail, and some of it had broken free to frame her pale face as she looked around the plane with wide eyes, biting her lower lip nervously.
Don’t look at her mouth.
He quickly turned away.
Time dragged, then halfway through the movie they were watching, Eve asked, “You said demi-demons are trained and released?”
“Yes.”
“So how long will I be staying with you? When will I be…released?”
Never, if I have my way. But he didn’t say that. Hell, he didn’t know where the possessive words filling his head had come from. Instead he said, “Each demi is different. Once they’re trained to shield and control their powers, and we’re convinced they’ve mastered those skills and will be safe in the outside world, we allow them to leave and start their new lives.”
She nodded, eyes wide.
“It’ll be all right, Eve. You can do this.” He shrugged. “You have to do this. Failure isn’t really an option.” He was pushing, trying to bring back the feisty woman who fought him in her store. He hated seeing her this way.
She frowned. “You keep saying that, but it doesn’t feel all right.” She turned and faced him fully, fire flashing behind her eyes. “I can tell you, from where I’m sitting, none of this nightmare feels all fucking right.”
There it was: that spirited side of her nature that would get her through this ordeal. She’d been quiet, withdrawn since last night, and it was entirely his fault. He’d acted like an animal in that room.
He couldn’t help it; he grinned at her.
Her brows shot up. “What are you smiling about? You think this is funny?”
“No. I’d just rather you yell at me than not speak at all.”
The corners of her mouth tipped up a little. “It’s a lot to take in.”
He reached over and grabbed her hand, not just to provide comfort, but because he couldn’t help himself. “I know, but it’s that strength of yours that will get you through this, Eve. Don’t ever forget that.”
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