“Oh God. I…I can’t,” she whimpered.
“You can,” he growled, his voice desperate even to his own ears.
Then the first ripples of her orgasm began teasing his cock. He gritted his teeth and held onto her hips tight, thrusting hard, fucking her with short, deep strokes. Eve screamed as she went over moments later, and he exploded, going with her, gripped by the most powerful release of his long life.
When he was wrung dry, he collapsed, resting his forehead against her back. “I’m sorry, Eve,” he panted over and over.
After a few minutes, she whispered, “Please, don’t be.”
He barely registered her words, but didn’t miss the hurt in her tone. His cock was still achingly hard, his hunger for her not even close to being sated. He reluctantly pulled out of her warmth, and standing her up, eased her around to face him.
He brushed the hair back from her face and cupped her chin, lifting it so her gaze met his. He leaned in and captured her mouth with his own.
The kiss was slow, claiming, and when he finally pulled back, she looked up at him, flushed and sexy as all hell.
He ran his thumb across her swollen bottom lip. “I’m going to carry you to that room and I’m going to have you again, not because I need you to quiet my demon, but because I want you again so bad I can’t think straight. Because every part of me craves every part of you.”
It was all he could manage before he lifted her off the ground and strode to the bedroom.
Chapter 22
Morning light streamed in from the edge of the curtains and blanketed the room in a muted gold. It made the small space feel cozy.
Eve’s soft, warm body still lay pressed tight against Lazarus, her scent all over his skin. He’d slept well past morning, but in that moment couldn’t bring himself to care. His cock was nestled against her round ass, and the temptation to slide into her from behind was driving him fucking crazy.
Nuzzling the back of her neck, he drew in more of her sweet, heady scent. This felt right, more than right. She belonged right where she was.
The woman in his arms had managed something he never thought possible: she’d broken down his carefully constructed walls. Last night she had given herself to him without reservation; not once did she hold back any part of herself. She’d smashed down his defenses again and again, uncovering feelings he’d tried to keep on lockdown.
He still felt raw, exposed.
He’d taken Eve repeatedly through the night, and he’d told her the truth—it hadn’t been about pacifying his demon, it had been about a male and his unquenchable need for his female. An undeniable, soul-deep yearning he felt even now.
It hadn’t been enough.
He knew he would never get enough of her.
Eve stirred, her body moving against his in a maddening way as she stretched and rolled to her back in his arms. The thick sweep of her dark lashes quivered then fluttered open, and his stomach clenched when heavy-lidded sapphire pools looked up at him drowsily.
She was so damn beautiful. She took his breath away.
He bent down and took her mouth in a soft kiss. When he pulled back, her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. Damn, he loved the way she blushed so easily.
“Morning,” he said, voice still rough from sleep.
“Morning.” Her gaze searched his. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Thanks to you.”
Her hand slid up his biceps. “What happened with Tobias?”
“He got away.” Seeing Tobias like that, seeing what he’d done to that demi, it cut to the bone.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Me, too.” Despite the conversation, he loved this, just the two of them, lying there, talking. His stomach rumbled.
Her mouth curled up on one side. “How about I make us breakfast?” She started to roll away.
No way was he ready to let her go. He hadn’t finished savoring the snug way her body fit perfectly against his. “Wait.” He grabbed her hip, and she gasped in pain. He let go like her skin was molten beneath his hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
He tried to pull back the sheet, but she clung to the covers.
“Let me see.” He loosened her fingers to reveal her waist, then farther until her hip and ass were on full display. A dark bruise marred her pale skin. A perfect handprint. “I did this to you?”
“You didn’t mean to, and it didn’t hurt at the time. Please, don’t worry about it.”
Even now she was trying to reassure him. Protect him.
“I fucking hurt you?” He looked down at his hands in disgust.
“I’m fine, really.” She touched his arm to get his attention.
“Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted.”
She brushed light fingers across his jaw and the action warmed the center of his chest. “I know this isn’t easy on you. I can’t imagine what it’s like having your body force you to do something you don’t want.”
He assumed she was talking about his demon’s constant fight for dominance. She’d have an up close and personal understanding of that kind of loss of control. “Yeah, but you’d know exactly what that feels like,” he said carefully.
Her brow scrunched. “What do you mean?”
“Every time I come for you, your body is forced to respond to me because of our connection,” he tried to explain.
Last night had been a prime example of what their connection could do. Her body had readied for him as soon as he’d walked through the door.
A blush crept down her neck to the tops of her full breasts. “That’s not what’s happening, not now anyway. I think I’d know the difference.”
“What are you saying?”
She started toying with the sheet. “I know I could lose a few pounds, that I’m not the kind of woman men usually find attractive. And I know you only want me…that way because of the mate thing. But that’s not what’s happening to me. That’s not why I…respond to you.” Her gaze darted away. “I’m attracted to you. And I, I…care about you.”
She cared?
Yes, they’d gotten closer the last week, but he never hoped…he never imagined she could care for him in return. When he’d learned of her existence, that was the last thing he’d wanted. But now…
Before he could get too worked up about that astonishing admission, the rest of what she’d said, the way she’d put herself down, sunk in. A growl ripped from his throat before he could hold it back. “I don’t want to hear you talk about yourself that way, not ever again. Do you understand?”
“It’s okay. You don’t need to—”
“You’re beautiful, inside and out. You’re the most caring person I’ve ever met.” He threaded his fingers in her hair and held her wide gaze. “And you drive me fucking wild. I’ve never craved another being the way I crave you, and not just because of the mate thing,” he said using the same words she had. Her breath quickened and his pulse skipped a beat in response. “I told you, Eve, you make me…want things…”
She licked her lips. “What do you want?”
He shook his head.
“Tell me,” she said. “Please.”
He held her gaze. “I’m not good for you.”
“I don’t believe that. I’ve never met anyone like you. I’ve never felt like I do when I’m with you.” He could see what those words cost her, and it made him want her all the more.
“You don’t know me, Eve. You don’t know what I’ve done,” he forced out.
She reached up and ran her thumb over his brow. “Then tell me.”
For some reason, he wanted to. Perhaps once she learned the truth she’d leave on her own, saving him all this torment. She’d understand why he would never be good enough to be her mate.
The words spilled from his lips in one ragged exhale. “I failed her. She trusted me and I fucking failed her.”
Eve frowned. “Who?”
He sucked in a shallow breath, struggling to take in oxygen. �
��Scarlet.” Her name felt wrenched from his chest. “She’s dead because of me. I may as well have buried the knife in her heart myself.”
She stared at him for a moment then shook her head and moved to cup his face in her small, soft hands. No scorn or disgust twisted her beautiful face, only concern. “Tell me about her. Tell me what happened,” she said.
Removing her hands, he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees. He couldn’t get through this with her looking at him like that.
“It was close to fifty years ago now. That’s when I first sensed her, a demi new to her powers. I went to retrieve her, tracked her to an abandoned warehouse. She was homeless, living on the streets. She was only fourteen years old. The youngest demi to ever come into their powers. She was all alone and scared as hell. I took her with me. She became important to me, and I to her. She looked up to me, thought of me as her savior, I guess. I loved her like a father loves his child, and she loved me in return. As she grew older, grew into her powers, we discovered she possessed an amazing physical and mental strength. She was a warrior, had a way with people, too. They were drawn to her, trusted her. We also learned that she was Tobias’s mate.
“We decided to use her in the field. Chaos didn’t think Tobias working with her was a good idea so she worked with me.” He held her gaze. “T trusted me to take care of her. He trusted me.”
He sucked in an agonized breath. Eve gently glided her hand over his back, reassuring him, like she sensed his pain. He didn’t deserve her comfort.
“We were on retrieval together. She’d usually go in first, do the talking.” He glanced back at her. “In case you hadn’t noticed, tact isn’t one of my strong qualities.”
Eve actually smiled at that, and his heart thumped in response. Now she’d brought the once dead organ back to life, the thing was liable to put him into cardiac arrest with all the jumping around it was doing.
The tender way she stared at him twisted him inside. He was about to shatter that soft look on her lovely face. He carried on before he could change his mind. “After she’d done her thing, I went in. The guy wasn’t taking the news well. I was busy trying to get him out of the house, while Scarlet tried to talk sense into him. I told her to just let me get him out. I didn’t care if he kicked and screamed the whole way.”
He shook his head. “We always had each other’s backs.” He rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head. “I failed her that day, failed both of them. I’m ruled by my emotions, usually anger. When that happens, my senses dim, which means I can’t pick up on the enemy as easily. She’d tell me to cut the shit, pull my head out of my ass, and get on with it.”
Eve remained quiet beside him.
Weak.
Flawed.
“I was getting pissed, totally focused on the male fighting me, stopping us from getting him to safety. I let emotion take over…like I did when I met you.” Eve’s features changed, showing her surprise. “I didn’t notice or even sense the Orthon that had followed us. It killed her before I’d even worked out it was in the house.”
Chapter 23
Eve ached for the male sitting beside her, not the one who literally carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, but a father who had lost his daughter.
Throat tightening, she struggled for breath as the truth of her feelings hit like a battering ram to the chest. She loved this man. Loved him with her entire heart and soul.
As much as it hurt to keep her feelings locked inside, she would. Lazarus didn’t need or want to hear it, not now, maybe not ever. He’d made that clear. He had more pressing matters to worry about. His feelings for her weren’t the same, and telling him would only add to his guilt when it was time for them to part.
Not knowing what else to do, she pushed her sadness and anger aside and reached for him. “I’m sorry, Lazarus.” It was all she could say. No amount of words would help at this point. So, climbing to her knees, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her lips to the tattoo snaking up the side of his neck.
He froze, his large body going statue still. “What are you doing?”
“Kissing you.”
“I thought…I thought you wouldn’t…”
“What? You thought I’d get up and leave? That I’d think less of you? You loved her.” She gripped his chin and turned his head. Their eyes met. “It was a terrible thing that happened, but it was an accident.”
He shook his head, but she kept hold of him. “An accident,” she repeated, and before he could say anything more, she leaned in and brushed her lips across his.
He pulled away, breathing heavily. “Eve…I’m not—”
“Don’t,” she whispered, and leaned in, pushed for more. Her lips were an inch from his when he turned away and stood abruptly.
Rejection, cold and sharp, hit her between the ribs, knocking the wind from her lungs. She scooted back on the bed and dipped her chin so her hair fell forward, covering the humiliation heating her face. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She should have known better by now.
Before she could scramble off the other side and escape, he gripped her upper arms and hauled her to her feet. With her standing on the bed in front of him they were nearly eye level.
Lazarus brushed her hair away from her face and cupped her cheek. His thumb stroked her jaw then he tilted her head back and stared into her eyes. “Don’t ever hide from me. I can’t bear it.” His hand moved down to the side of her throat in a grip that was firm yet gentle. His thumb continued to stroke her skin and she wanted to lean in, seek more of his touch. The possessiveness of it was undeniable. “I’ve never known anyone like you, Eve, as good as you.”
Before she could reply to that, he nuzzled her throat with a tenderness that should have been impossible for the massive demon warrior. The vulnerability and desperation in that one action tore her heart in two. The soft silk of his hair slid across her palm as she held him to her, as he kissed a path to her mouth, taking her lips in an achingly gentle kiss. The intensity of his mouth and his tongue against hers began a slow burn that turned her insides molten. The sound he made against her mouth was one of longing, of anguish, of hunger.
Eve wanted to love him like he deserved, and suspected he desperately needed. She wanted to show him how wonderful he was. This wasn’t about the demon fighting for freedom inside him. It was about the man and nothing more.
“Lie down,” she whispered against his mouth.
“Eve…”
She shook her head. “Let me take care of you. Just this once.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, and she could see he was going through some kind of internal struggle, but he needed this, needed to let go.
His eyes fluttered open when she took his hand. The vulnerability that stared back at her caused her chest to tighten. He came to her then, his body still deliciously naked and magnificently aroused. Doing as she asked, he lay back on the bed and Eve took a minute to drink in the sight of his powerful body, hard and defined. Magnificent.
The beautiful symbols that marked his arm and the side of his neck fascinated her. She wanted to trace them with her tongue, and she would because right then, in that moment, he was hers and hers alone.
He was built like a weapon of mass destruction. It was all there, lethal power, unbelievable strength, all at her mercy. She drank him in, his powerful thighs, the hard length of his straining erection against cut abs. Those impressive pecs, then up to his face, a face that would be harsh if it wasn’t for those sensual lips. His tongue darted out and he licked the full lower one. She couldn’t help mimic the action, hungry for a taste of him. Their eyes met and the primal need there stole her breath.
She crawled over and straddled his hips, and his gaze traveled over her curves as she did. She forced herself to leave her body bared to him, resisting the urge to cover herself. Lazarus liked the way she looked. How could she doubt it with the way he was looking at her?
His big hands gripped her thighs,
smoothing up to her hips to softly massage and caress the bruised skin there.
“I hate that I hurt you.”
“You didn’t.” She leaned forward and kissed his whiskered jaw. “I enjoyed every minute of it.” She kissed him slow, licking and nipping his lips like he had hers earlier.
When he reached up to hold her in place, attempting to deepen the kiss, she gripped his wrists and pushed them back against the mattress. He let her. Lazarus could overpower her easily if he chose to, but he let her have her way.
His breathing quickened as she pressed a trail of hot, wet kisses over his jaw then moved down to nibble and suck his throat, following the ink over his shoulder. She continued her exploration and moved to his hard chest. Her breasts grazed his abs while she dragged her tongue over a flat nipple before catching it between her teeth and biting down gently.
He panted and bucked beneath her. “You’re killing me, sweetheart.”
Encouraged, she tormented the other nipple for a while before carrying on down to trace the deep ridges of his abs. As she moved lower, he threaded his fingers through her hair. She looked up, holding his dark, hungry gaze then leaned in, licking away the salty bead gathered at the tip of his cock.
He groaned. “Fuck.”
Desperate for more, she kissed him where she’d just licked, an open-mouthed sucking kiss that had his hips lifting off the mattress. Still, she didn’t take him fully into her mouth, and instead took her time to slowly lick and nibble every inch of his thick shaft.
His fingers flexed in her hair, forcing her look up at him. “Eve.” Her name rumbled from his chest in a growling purr that intensified the throb between her thighs. “Take me into your mouth, sweetheart. Suck me.”
She gripped him tighter, ran her tongue around the ridge one more time, and lapped at the tiny slit.
He hissed in a breath through his teeth then growled again. His chest heaving, every muscle straining, locked up tight. “Please, baby.”
Knight's Redemption (Knights of Hell Book 1) Page 22