“They have doctors in Hawaii,” Devon said.
“Doctors,” Nana scoffed. “I’m not going to need doctors. Those home health people only take my pulse and watch me exercise. We can take my rubber bands to Hawaii, can’t we, June?”
“And if you come, you can make sure she does her exercises,” Devon put in.
Both of them looked at me with identical pleading expressions. It hurt my heart to see just how desperate Nana was to go. None of this made sense. But if I could make Nana happy by saying yes to this foolish idea, maybe that was the right thing to do.
And that’s how I found myself on a private plane with Devon Ray and Nana.
“Can I talk to you?” Devon asked. He was lounging on a couch that served, apparently, as an airplane seat. I was sitting beside Nana, who had started to nod off.
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked, leaning over Nana.
“Maybe you could come over here, so we’re not disturbing Nana,” he said. Nana was battling with slumber, excited enough to want to enjoy the plane ride, but still tired. It was well past her bedtime.
I eased past her and sat as far away from Devon as possible.
“I’m not going to bite,” he said. “Come here, so I don’t have to raise my voice.”
“I can hear you just fine.”
“We should probably be quiet,” Devon said, nodding across the aisle. Nana was fast asleep at last, not even the novelty of a jaunt around the globe on a private jet enough to keep her awake.
“Nana’s a heavy sleeper,” I said. “We won’t bother her.”
“Well, in that case…” Devon waggled his eyebrows at me.
“Don’t be a pig.” As if I needed yet another reason to not want to be here, on this trip.
“You need to try to be a little nicer,” he said.
“And you need to try to be less creepy,” I retorted.
“Think of how excited Nana is,” he cajoled. “You wouldn’t want to ruin it for her, would you?”
“Listen. The one and only reason I am on this plane is for Nana. That’s the only reason I’m doing this, is because she’s so excited, so happy. I haven’t seen her like this in a really long time, and that’s special to us both. I don’t know why you’re doing this, but I know why I am.”
I turned stubbornly away, studying Nana as she slept, her mouth hanging open just wide enough to be cute, not scary. I’d sidle in next to her if I weren’t afraid of waking her. She needed her rest. Too much excitement was a bad thing, the doctors had warned us. A little bit of excitement required a nice, long break, and today had just been so big.
Beside me, Devon heaved a sigh.
“I’m doing this to impress you,” he said, making me turn back to him in surprise.
“You’re what?”
“To impress you,” he said. “I…felt bad. Really bad. About the way everything has gone down between us.”
I opened my mouth and closed it again, unsure of what to say. Had he done some soul-searching, or what?
“Who I was in the hotel room…that’s not who I am. I was upset. I was messed up about my breakup. I shouldn’t have been drinking alone, and I shouldn’t have come on as strongly as I did. It’s just…you showed up. You were pretty. You liked me, or at least I thought you did. And all I wanted was some physical comfort.”
I sighed. The guy had dumped out his heart for me to see, and he needed a bone thrown to him.
“If it makes you feel any better, I was into you,” I said. “I wanted to…kiss you. Okay, I wanted to do a little more than kiss you.”
“Really?” He blinked at me, eager. “Why didn’t you?”
“Because you seemed so sure of it,” I said. “That it was a given I would give it up because of who you are. That you felt entitled to it. That’s what turned me off.”
“I didn’t mean to come off like that,” he said. “I just thought I read all the signs right.”
“It was right until it was wrong,” I said, shrugging. “I don’t know how else to explain it to you.”
“And now?”
I blinked. “Pardon?”
“Now?” He leaned closer. “Is now right again? Did I make it right again?”
The dry air circulating through the plane practically ignited between us in that same, strange draw I’d experienced in the hotel room, but I shook my head quickly.
“Too soon,” I blurted out, scooting down the couch from him.
“What the hell, June?” he asked, his eyebrows drawing together. “You’re sending mixed messages. That’s you, not me.”
“What did you think was going to happen?” I demanded. “Did you think that you were going to explain yourself—not even apologize, mind you, but flap your jaw at me—and I was going to, what? Spread my legs for you?”
“Would you think I was a bad person if I said yes?” he asked, spreading his hands in a helpless gesture.
The situation was too ludicrous for me not to laugh at. “You seriously thought that. You seriously thought that dumping a bunch of money on Nana and me, inconveniencing yourself and your busy schedule by flying us across the globe, charming my grandmother, doing God knows what else, was going to make me fuck you!”
Nana stirred across the aisle, murmuring softly, and both of us froze. I clapped my hands over my mouth, until she started snoring softly again. I got up to check on her—one side of her oxygen tubing had slid down over an ear, so I slipped it back in place, tucking it behind her snowy white hair.
Assuring myself that Nana was resting well, I whirled back around to face Devon. He wasn’t getting off so easily.
“What the actual fuck, asshole?” I whispered furiously, leaning down to get in his face partly so he could hear my diatribe, and partly so he would understand how angry I was. “This is the most sociopathic thing I could think of. Are we in danger? Should I strap a parachute to Nana and get her out of here?”
“The jet doesn’t have parachutes,” he said.
“Ugh!” I threw my hands up into the air. “You are the most ridiculous thing I have ever encountered in my entire life, and that’s saying something. Neither of my parents had any interest in raising me after they brought me into the world, so I know a thing or two about ridiculous things. You, however, are much more ridiculous than that. Are you able to grasp the scale on which I’m rating you?”
Devon nodded shortly, his brown eyes big, and I was mollified, to a certain extent, that I was, at least, reaching him in whatever reality he existed.
“You could’ve spent less money on a prostitute,” I told him, exasperated. “Seriously. This is all way too much. If you’d wanted some kind of physical comfort so badly, you could’ve gotten what you wanted minus all this drama.”
“I didn’t want a prostitute,” he said innocently. “I wanted you. I want you.”
“What?”
The jet jolted suddenly with a pocket of bad air, a random spiral of turbulence that was just enough to throw me forward into Devon’s lap. He caught me reflexively, and in that quick instant, I somehow felt at home pressed against that hard torso, his strong arms wrapped around my body,
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low and husky. I could feel it vibrate inside his chest. It…did things to me. I nodded, not sure I trusted my own voice to do any talking for me.
“I’m not used to people telling me no, June,” Devon said. “I’m used to getting what I want.”
“I am well aware of that fact.” My chest heaved as if I’d sprinted up a couple of flights of stairs.
“I wish…that you would tell me yes.”
The plane shuddered again and Nana yelped. “Goodness’ sake,” she complained as I leaped from Devon’s arms. “Are there speed bumps in the clouds, or what?”
“Just some turbulence, Nana,” Devon said smoothly. “Happens all the time. If you close your eyes, it’s kind of like being rocked to sleep.”
“I think we all better close our eyes,” I said, squeezing back in the seat b
eside Nana and stubbornly screwing my eyes shut. I was just as tired as she was, so I was pretty sure I was already dreaming when I felt her pat my hand gently.
Chapter 5
The sun was already high in the sky once we landed in Hawaii, and it was just as beautiful as I ever could’ve imagined. I’d seen the same movie of Devon’s as Nana, but the filmography just didn’t do the little fishing village justice. Flower sellers, fruit sellers, and other vendors clamored in the main strip, but where we were staying was outside of the bustle of town, in a cozy little cottage near the water.
We stopped by there to unpack and recharge, but we didn’t need to. Nana was raring to go to the beach that had been featured in the film.
“It’s not too far from here,” Devon was saying. He hadn’t mentioned what had happened on the plane, and he seemed happier than he’d ever been since I met him. “I rented this cottage specifically for its location. We could’ve had somewhere nicer….”
“The cottage is fine,” I said firmly as we reached a path through some thick vegetation.
“This is just marvelous,” Nana breathed, clapping her fragile hands together as we wheeled her down the path. “Just smell that sea air. Breathing that every day—now, that would make a person live forever.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Devon said pleasantly. “I’m quite sure you’re going to outlive me.”
“Stop it,” she said, tittering like a small girl. “Oh, here it is. Here’s your beach, Devon. Here it is. Right in front of us.”
It was hard to fight my grin—or the tears in my eyes—that Nana had gotten the opportunity to see something she’d only dreamed about. It had all been because of Devon. I understood that and accepted it. He’d had an ulterior motive, but I didn’t care. I was so grateful to him for taking us here.
“We don’t have very much time right now, but we’ll come back here soon,” Devon said. “I just wanted you to see it first thing, Nana. This beach has your name all over it.”
“What are we doing right now?” I asked, peering at him.
“Some friends I met the last time I was here have asked if they could come to the cottage and cook for us,” he said, smiling. “They have a big mess of fish, and others want to make a traditional barbecue for us. It’s probably going to be way too much food, but these people love a good excuse for a feast.”
“What about it, Nana?” I asked her, leaning down. She didn’t take her eyes off the horizon, distant over the turquoise waters. “Does a feast sound good to you?”
“I could eat up this view all day,” she said, “but I suppose a body needs food.”
“We’ll come back here.” I laughed at her. “This is only the beginning of our vacation, you know. We have all the time in the world to see this.”
Devon’s friends were so hospitable and kind, and they really did know how to put on a shindig. There was way too much food, and I allowed Nana to stray from her diet for this special event. She completely pigged out on barbecue and fish and all the fixings, swaying and clapping her hands to the beat when a couple of guys broke out a guitar and a ukulele for an impromptu concert.
This…this was really nice. It was really special. I had to tell Devon how much this meant to us.
He was chatting with a couple of people across the yard, but he looked at me while I studied him, flashing me a smile. It wasn’t one of those perfect grins from his movie posters. It was a sincere, genuine gesture. I could feel it.
God help me, I smiled right back. He excused himself from his conversation and picked his way across the yard to us.
“Everything okay?” he asked, still smiling.
“Oh yes,” I said. “I just…I really wanted to thank you for this, Devon. This is so wonderful to be here. I never would’ve thought this would be possible.”
“You’re having a good time?” he asked. “I understand that you really didn’t want to come.”
“I never imagined that it could be this good,” I confessed. “I don’t know. Everything just happened so fast that I guess I didn’t know what to expect.”
“I’m really glad you all came,” he said. “I wanted to come back here because of how amazing it was the first time, but I suppose I didn’t know just how much more amazing it would be if I could share this experience with you all. I’ve always wanted to take someone here.”
Devon was really close to me—or I was really close to him—and it scared me a bit that I cared so little. It was nice to have him so close. I liked this. But then I realized that I was making eyes at him with my grandmother sitting right next to me, so I scooted away.
“It’s a magical place,” I said. “Don’t you think, Nana?”
“Uh-oh,” Devon remarked. “Looks like she crashed out.”
She was snoring, her mouth open in her classic pose.
“Oh,” I said, then laughed. “It’s been an exciting day for her. I’ll wheel her back inside.”
As soon as I unlocked the brakes to her wheelchair, she jolted awake.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“You fell asleep at the party, Nana,” I told her. “I’m taking you inside so you can be more comfortable.”
“Lord,” she remarked. “I haven’t passed out cold at a party since well before your time.”
“Okay, Nana.” I laughed, filing that piece of information away in the part of my brain I liked to label “things I didn’t care to know about my grandmother.” Every single one of her leers resided there.
“I guess I overdid it with the rum and sodas,” she explained.
“Well, you’re wiser, now,” I told her. “And today’s been a big day. I’m even thinking about going to sleep.”
“Nana, I thought you said you wanted another cocktail,” another partygoer said, approaching us with a red cup full of soda and ice. “I made this one extra strong, just like you asked me.”
“Whoops,” Nana commented.
“You mean you’re drinking rum and sodas right now?” I screeched, outraged. How could I have missed this? We were sitting right next to each other. Was I really so distracted by the food and revelry—and the sight of a happy, relaxed Devon—that I didn’t notice my own grandmother getting lit beside me?
“We’re on vacation,” she offered.
“Nana, Milo is going to murder me,” I said, pulling her out and away from the table and wheeling her around toward the cottage. “If he doesn’t murder me, he’s definitely going to murder you. Alcohol is the number one worst thing you could have on your diet.”
“His job is to keep me alive,” she said dismissively. “He’s not going to murder me. Definitely not if he never finds out.”
“He’s going to throw me in jail for letting you do this to yourself,” I told her, rolling my eyes at Devon, whose shoulders were shaking with barely repressed laughter. “Is that what you want, Nana? For your granddaughter to spend the rest of her life in jail because of elder abuse?”
“I’m not abused, I’m buzzed,” she argued, and Devon guffawed so loud, it momentarily drowned out the music.
I tried to glare at him, but I had to laugh, too—albeit behind Nana’s back so she couldn’t see me.
“You’re not going to be so buzzed when Milo says you can’t follow the rules,” I told her, wheeling her away from the party and into the relative quiet of the cottage, carefully negotiating the handful of stairs.
“I’ll do extra exercises in the morning,” she said. “I need to have fun every once in a while. You’re the one who told me that.”
“You better not tell Milo I told you that,” I warned her, easing her wheelchair into her snug little room.
“I won’t tell if you don’t.”
I helped her out of her clothes, pulling her pajamas from the drawer where I’d folded them earlier today. It was still hard to believe we were in Hawaii. Once she was safely in her nightgown, I helped her gingerly into bed.
“You’ve never asked me about your parents,” Nana s
aid suddenly as I tucked her in, unable to separate this moment from all the times she’d tucked me into my own bed as a child.
“I’m not interested in my parents,” I said lightly. It was funny how time changed things. I’d once burned with the desire for this piece of knowledge. I realized that I didn’t so much as know their names beyond the last name I’d been given.
“You should be,” she said. “They’re your family.”
“You’re my family.”
“Yes, but one day, I’m not going to be around anymore.”
“Are you going to move in with some hot lover, Nana?” I joked.
“Very funny.” She had a faraway look in her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” I’d been at her side for every stage of her unstoppable illness, but the idea that she wouldn’t be with me someday still seemed impossible.
“It doesn’t matter whether or not you want to talk about it. It’s something we have to talk about. Wouldn’t you want to know how to connect with your family after I’m gone?”
“Not really, Nana, no.”
“But family’s important, June. What about your mother?”
I sighed. What I did know about my family history was that my mother was Nana’s daughter—her real daughter—that she had been so disappointed in that she had taken me away to raise on her own. The way Nana told it—or didn’t tell it—was that my biological mother had quite eagerly given me up.
“Nana, you’re more of a mother to me than she ever was,” I said. “You’re all the family I need. I don’t want to reconnect with my parents. They didn’t care enough about me in the first place. Why should I care about them? Now, get some rest. We’ve had a long day, and you’re tired.”
“I suppose I am tired,” she allowed. “Good night, June. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Nana,” I said, an unexpected lump forming in my throat. What was wrong with me? What was going on with Nana? We’d never talked like this before. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought that she was preparing to go and die on me. At least I could blame this sudden spurt of sentimentality on rum.
KYLE: A Mafia Romance (The Callahans Book 4) Page 39