by Gina LaManna
“Does it have anything to do with the boxes in your room?”
I waited a long beat. “Yes.”
“Which has something to do with your parents?”
I frowned. “What makes you say that?”
“You still miss your mom a lot, I can see that.” Anthony paused, his voice soft. Not prying, just curious. Thoughtful. He reached over and gently loosened one of my hands from the steering wheel, gripping it as I did my best to drive straight and keep my face stoic.
“But I also think, Lacey, that you’re ready to know more about your father.” Anthony ran small circles with his thumb over the back of my hand. “You don’t have to say anything, you don’t have to talk about it. I just want you to know I’m here for you, whatever happens. Whatever you decide.”
I cleared my throat. “Sometimes I just feel stupid going and looking for him after all these years. I’d just about given up any hope of finding him after three decades of wondering, when there came Laurelei, dredging up stories about a man in my mom’s life. She made everything just come crashing back. All the unanswered questions.”
Anthony’s hand pressed harder against mine.
“Why would he give me and my mother up, disappear on us, when she clearly needed help?” I shook my head, muttering more to myself than Anthony. “Whatever, it’s stupid. I’m on a wild goose chase. I know I’m wasting my time, and I didn’t tell you because I don’t want to waste yours, too.”
“It’s not stupid.” Anthony’s voice came out hard. “I’m here to help, whatever you need. Big or small. Always.”
I glanced over, giving him a look full of hope. “Really?”
Anthony nodded. “Have you considered the fact that maybe he didn’t abandon you? There’s a chance he never knew you existed, after all.”
“I suppose that’s possible, but how?”
“Maybe when your mother found out she was pregnant, she ran away – not from your family as you thought, but from your father.”
“Are you thinking he treated her badly?”
“That’s one possibility.”
“And the other?” I looked over, trying to anticipate his response, and failing.
“Maybe she was trying to protect him.”
I thought about it for a second. “Protect him from what?”
“Protect him from who, might be the better question.”
Chapter 14
“You really don’t have to come in.” I threw the Lumina into park, ignoring the school signs stating that I needed a daily permit to leave my car here. “I think I can manage it on my own.”
“Not a chance.” Anthony winked. “I’ve gotta make sure everyone knows you’re taken. You’re mine, sugar.”
“Oh, right,” I rolled my eyes. “Elementary school – also known as a huge danger zone for guys to pick up the ladies.”
Anthony gave a low, seductive laugh, sliding his arms behind my back and pulling me close. “You’re not a boy, you don’t understand the way we think. You know…” He played with my collar bone, dancing his fingers along my skin. “If you waltzed into my class during grade school, I would’ve had the biggest crush on you.”
“Aw,” I said, mock fawning over him. “That’s adorable.”
“I would’ve dreamed about you,” Anthony whispered, trailing tantalizing kisses behind my ear, down my neck, above my heart.
“But now you have me.” I placed my fingers under his chin, tilting his face upwards until our lips met.
“And it still feels surreal.” Anthony’s lips grazed mine, the words warm against my skin.
“I like you a lot, you know.” I kissed him so hard he didn’t have a chance to respond.
When we separated, my eyes were glazed over, my mind foggy. Without a word, I shut off the car and stepped outside into the school parking lot, memories washing over me in waves.
I’d never liked high school. People who enjoyed high school were the people who had friends in high school. It didn’t matter the type of student – popular girls, preppy jocks, band kids, mathletes, or stoners – all those groups had each other. For me, the sight of backpacks, the frowns of school liaisons, and the scent of Axe body spray brought back nightmares.
I didn’t have friends, plural. I had a friend, singular. Her name was Meg.
Though Meg was the best friend I could’ve ever asked for, it didn’t make high school easy. Unlike many of my classmates, I hadn’t been able to afford a car when I turned sixteen. The money I’d made working at the front desk of TANGO went towards rent, groceries, and the occasional dental bill. Strippers didn’t have great medical benefits, my mom informed me. I couldn’t afford our class sweatshirt, never bought a class ring, and I’d saved up for three months just to buy my graduation gown.
It wasn’t my mom’s fault; she worked hard, but the money just didn’t go far enough. I didn’t have a phone, or a computer – I was the kid writing my papers the morning before class, not because I forgot, but because I needed to use the computer in the school library.
In short, high school was a checkmark on my list of life “To-Do’s.” I kept my head down, passed my classes, and moved on. I never once looked back.
“I hated high school,” Anthony said, stepping from his side of the car.
I looked up, surprised. “How?”
“What do you mean, how?” Anthony gave a half-smile. “It was miserable.”
“But you’re like…you’ve got all the goods to have been a god in high school. Literally.”
Anthony’s mouth grew taut, his eyes dull. “You didn’t know me then.”
I realized suddenly, that I still wasn’t sure how well I did know Anthony. Even now. I knew the way he rested a hand on my lower back when he wanted to let others know I was with him. I knew the way his voice intersected on amused and concerned when I phoned him for help. I knew the way his hands felt on me under the dark of night, when it was just the two of us alone.
But did I know Anthony?
“Hey, don’t look so down,” Anthony said. “These are middle schoolers, or grade schoolers, or whatever. We’ll get in, show your gadget, and get out. Okay?”
I nodded as Anthony made his way around the car, standing next to me. He placed one arm on either side of me, pinning my body against the car. “Give me a kiss,” he said. “It’s been too long since I made out in a high school parking lot.”
“This is middle school,” I said, dipping my head shyly.
“High school’s right around the corner.” Anthony raised his hand and ran his fingers through the back of my hair, pulling me in for a long, toe-curling kiss. When he let me go, it took a minute to shake away the stars from my eyes.
Mumbling some nonsense about him being inappropriate, I opened the backseat of the car and pulled out Clay’s laser box.
“Inappropriate? We’re setting a good example. Just a couple in lo—” Anthony hesitated. “A couple who cares about one another.”
I let out a breath, relieved to see that Anthony was just as careful to dance around the L-word as me. I’d be the first to admit – I was afraid of it. Afraid what it would mean for us. Afraid it would draw us apart instead of bring us together. Afraid it would extinguish the fragile spark that bonded us together.
“Why are we here again?” Anthony took my hand in his, leading me up towards the entrance.
“I found a pin in my mom’s Save box. It had a Toucan insignia on it, and I didn’t think anything about it until I noticed the same logo on Marissa and Clarissa’s uniforms. I thought maybe my mom had gone to the same school as a kid, which wouldn’t have been suspicious, but Nora said she didn’t go here. My mother went to the public school across the street.”
I swiveled my head, glancing down the block. My mother’s school remained intact, albeit more run down and unmemorable than the private school before us.
Anthony followed my glance.
“I couldn’t think of a reason she might’ve saved that pin when over the years, she threw out so
many of our belongings.” I bit my lip. “Unless she held onto it for sentimental reasons. Maybe it belonged to someone important in her life.”
“You think it might’ve belonged to your father?”
I nodded. “My mom didn’t keep much. She ran away from her family for a reason, and she did not want me to find them. She went through great lengths to make sure I didn’t know my real last name, any of my relatives, etc. I’m sure she did the same for my father’s stuff when she went into hiding and rid her life of any references to him. My mom was the opposite of a pack rat – she threw everything away.”
“Judging by your overflowing closet, you didn’t inherit that quality from her.” Anthony squeezed my hand and smiled. “You take after Nora, who won’t throw away a used napkin because it makes her emotional.”
“Ha, ha,” I said, matching his smile with my own. “Yes, I suppose that might be the case.”
“You really don’t need to keep all of your report cards.”
“I do!” I gave a shocked expression in his direction. “You never know when I’ll need them.”
“Yes, you’re completely right,” Anthony deadpanned. “They’ll come in handy someday soon, I can feel it. Maybe when you apply for your next job, they’ll ask to see your fourth-grade art homework.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I pulled open the door to the school’s front lobby. “But if you think about it, my mom didn’t keep in touch with any friends except the girls at TANGO. And they wouldn’t have given her that pin. The only thing I can think of is that at some point, my father had given my mom this pin, and she kept it. Because there was no link to him directly.”
“And even if you did figure out who it may have belonged to, it still doesn’t particularly help,” Anthony said. “Your dad would’ve been one of thousands of students who passed through this school.”
“Exactly. Even if I wanted to look for him and narrowed the search to within five years of my mom’s age, that’s still a lot of people.” My shoulders slumped. “I told you it’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid,” Anthony said. “And you’re forgetting one thing.”
“What’s that?” I asked, my voice resigned.
“You have the power of the Luzzi family behind you now. Clay, me, hell, even Meg would help, if you two ever figure out your disagreement.” Anthony spun me around to face him, just out of earshot of the receptionist. He rested his hands on my shoulders, looking me firmly in the eye. “We’ll figure it out, Lacey, I promise you.”
My lips twitched, but I couldn’t quite manipulate them into a smile.
“But I do have to warn you.” Anthony’s eyes now contained something beyond determination. A sadness that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Something that told me I wouldn’t like what I was about to hear.
“When we find your father – and yes, I said when, not if – you, and you alone, will need to decide if you want a relationship with him.” Anthony’s voice was hardly louder than a whisper. “Because there’s a chance you might not like what you find. And if we go through with this, that’s a risk you’ll need to accept.”
I looked down, staring between Anthony’s arms and over Clay’s brown box at my shoes. I gave a single nod before pulling my gaze up to meet his.
“I’d rather know,” I said softly.
Anthony tilted his head in acknowledgment. “You can’t forget you already have a family who loves you. Carlos, Nora, Meg, Clay – me.” Anthony paused. “No matter what happens, you have a family.”
I blinked, suddenly feeling self-conscious as my emotions built up right in the middle of the school lobby. I forced a smile. “Thank you, Anthony.”
He pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead. “Let’s go show off your lasers.”
Grateful for the change in subject, I took a moment to make sure my voice wouldn’t come out hoarse and raspy when I spoke, blinked my eyes again to make sure I wasn’t leaking, and then marched forward with my chin up and my fingers interlocked tightly with Anthony’s.
“I’m here for show and tell,” I told the receptionist who, though she was pushing ninety years old, took a long moment sizing Anthony up.
She took an even longer time fastening a badge to Anthony’s breast pocket.
“Do I get one of those?” I asked, as the woman flicked her wrist and gave us directions to the classroom.
“Here.” The lady coughed, a deep, smoker’s cough, and tossed the badge unceremoniously in my direction.
Grumbling, I fastened it myself and nodded at Anthony. “And you’re worried about me getting hit on in this place.”
Anthony looked down at the name tag the old woman had lovingly fastened to his chest and shrugged.
I shook my head at Anthony’s oblivion. He wouldn’t know if a girl was flirting with him if it smacked him in the face. I had a sneaking suspicion that Anthony lived with a pair of rose-colored glasses covering his eyes when it came to the female species – he just assumed every girl in the world had been born nice, friendly, and overly helpful. He never once suspected that all of them might be in insta-love with him. Yet somehow, every time a guy so much as breathed in my direction, Anthony was on the scent. Why he could tell when guys were flirting but not girls was beyond me.
I told myself to get a grip, shifted the box in my arms, and stopped outside the girls’ classroom. Raising a hand, I gave a single knock before the door opened from the inside.
“Oh, hello.” A pretty blonde teacher opened the door. She was twenty-something, dressed in trendy jeans and a form-fitting tank with a cardigan over her shoulders.
Her eyes flicked briefly over me, then settled on Anthony as she spoke. “May I help you?”
I regretted letting go of Anthony’s hand before we’d reached the classroom. To Anthony’s credit, he hardly looked at the woman, turning in my direction and waiting for an answer.
“Hi,” I said with a lame little wave of my hand. “Lacey Luzzi, here for show and tell.”
“You’re a Luzzi?” she asked, her eyes widening. “I didn’t realize…the girls said they had a friend coming for show and tell…”
“A friend?” I gave a quizzical smile. “I’m their cousin. Their dad is my mom’s brother.”
“Oh, well. Welcome.” Her eyes flitted back to Anthony, her voice softening. “And I suppose you’re a Luzzi, too?”
“Nope, he’s not,” I said, annoyed at her hopeful tone. I grabbed Anthony’s hand and dragged him into the classroom. Forget professionalism. “He’s my boyfriend, just here for support.”
Anthony raised his eyebrows, having no choice but to follow me in front of a room of munchkins. I spotted Marissa and Clarissa and gave them a wave.
The both of them leapt up from their seats and ran towards the front of the room. I opened my arms to grasp them in a hug. We weren’t usually a touchy feely sort of family, but maybe the girls turned on their charm in public. It wouldn’t be the first time.
But that wasn’t the case. Instead, the girls ran right past my outstretched arms and smack dab into Anthony. One of them clasped his leg, while the other fastened her arms around his waist.
“Hi to you, too,” I mumbled, setting the box on the table.
Anthony gave an apologetic shrug. “I gave them candy one time,” he mouthed over their heads. “And this is what happens. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head in dismissal. “You girls wanna see what I brought?”
They nodded, but not before their teacher, Miss Nice Apples as I’d dubbed her, stepped forward and laid a hand on each of the girls’ heads. “Would you girls like to introduce me to your guests?”
I rolled my eyes.
“This is Anthony,” Marissa said, her eyes peering up at him like an adoring puppy. “He’s nice.”
“I’d imagine so,” Miss Nice Apples said, extending a hand. Her fingers were far too manicured for my taste, and far too close to my boyfriend, all at once. “I’m Miss Lovehart.”
I double rolled my eyes. Of course her name was
destined to be in a fairy tale. Was there nothing wrong with this woman? I bet she even wore fancy underwear. Like, all the time, not just for special occasions.
“Anthony,” he said, giving Miss Lovehart’s hand a quick shake. His eyes moved immediately back to the girls. “Do you ladies want to see what Lacey brought?”
“Now they do, since you suggested it. But when it was my idea, then noooo…” I said, extending the box for the girls to tear into.
“And what do we have here today?” Miss Lovehart smiled with teeth so white they hurt my eyeballs.
“Well,” I turned towards the class. “Marissa, Clarissa, and I are cousins. We have another cousin named Clay, and he’s very good at computers.”
“Dude, like computer games?” A kid from the front row with a Ninja Turtles t-shirt piped up.
“Dude, like sort of,” I said, at once feeling more awkward and older than I’d ever felt in my life.
Marissa covered her eyes in shame, while her sister groaned aloud. “You’re not young, Lacey,” she said. “You can’t make jokes like that.”
“Lacey is plenty young,” Miss Lovehart interrupted. “She’s hardly older than me.”
“Yeah, we’re probably the same age,” I said, eyeing her wrinkle-less face.
“Not quite.” Miss Lovehart fixed a smile on her face. “I think you’ve got me beat by a few years.”
“Not sure about that,” I mumbled. “But no worries, it’s not important.”
“Just a little important,” she said.
I cleared my throat and faced the class. “Like I was saying, Clay is great at technology. One of his hobbies is inventing things, and he uses computers to do that. So study up, learn your math and geometry, and you’ll be able to make things like…this.”
Reaching over the girls, I peeled back the top of the box, pulling out the bubble-wrapped lasers.
Except, when I pulled away the bubble wrap, I wasn’t holding lasers.
I held an extra-large, black-rhinestoned bra. Bulletproof, judging by the weight of the thing.
I tried to shove it back in the box, but it was too late. Stunned, I held the thing for a solid thirty seconds, giving all of the kiddos a view of Clay’s invention.