My words to him are simple but filled with contentment, desire, and confidence. Without even asking, I’m certain he knows what I mean when I finally blurt out these two words:
“I’m ready.”
* * * * * * * * *
It’s the day of our wedding. The décor is simple and perfect, and less than twenty people are waiting in the audience to see Patrick and I profess our love to one another. My ceremony with Harley was elaborate and I have no desire for such extremes this time around. I also don’t have the butterflies I did with Harley. But it’s okay. I’ve grown up and changed a lot since becoming a mom. I’m more concerned with protecting James than myself now. Besides, I feel safe with Patrick.
Arms locked with my dad, I smile as I walk down the aisle, passing Mom and Dan on one side and Patrick’s parents on the other. I met Harold and Gloria shortly after Patrick and I began dating, if you could call it that. We got engaged pretty much the minute James finished Kindergarten. His parents have embraced James and I with open arms and we spend a great deal of time together since they live so close by. Most of his sisters live close by as well and they are just as loving and accepting as his parents. It’s a beautiful family and I now have more siblings than I ever imagined possible.
Mom and Dan bought a house a few miles away recently as well. They said they missed us and enjoyed the beach so much they wanted to retire here. I’ve always wanted my children to experience the love of a big family, and Harley would be happy to know that James does now. He is blessed with an abundance of involved, loving grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Not to mention, Gretchen and Chelsea being his godmother, as well as my bridesmaids, for the second time.
They are both waiting at the arch, across from Patrick. Gretchen’s two boys are sitting in the audience with her husband, Chad. He’s an awesome guy and makes her happy. Chelsea just found out she’s three months pregnant. Her husband, Derek is a workaholic just like her and they are perfectly suited for one another. She was not happy about wearing a bridesmaid dress today. I laughed when we were standing together before the ceremony and she said she wished she were further along because at least then people could tell she is pregnant and not fat.
I wink at the two of them as I approach my place beside Patrick. It turns out I was worried for nothing. I didn’t end up leaving my two besties behind. They just took a while to catch up to me.
The song, “Love of a Lifetime,’’ by Firehouse plays in the background. As my father lets go of my hand and places it in Patrick’s, I think about the past five-plus years of my life and how much I’ve changed. I’m not the starry-eyed girl I was when I first met Harley, or the weepy, self-loathing, broken woman I became when he died. I’m a strong, independent mom, a loyal and devoted wife, and a passionate children’s writer who reaches the hearts of children all over the world now.
The preacher announces, “You may now kiss the bride.”
I turn and smile at my husband as he lifts my silky veil. Our lips meet and the sparks ignite again. My heart is full of love and admiration for this man. I’ve been blessed to have been loved, and been in love with, two amazing men in my life. I’ll never forget Harley, but I know the rest of my days on earth belong to Patrick.
My journey has taken some unexpected twists and turns over the years. At times, I wanted to give up, but I’m glad I didn’t because everything that has happened to me has been a huge lesson in patience.
And everything I have now was worth waiting for.
EPILOGUE
I sit in my favorite spot on the lower patio of our home. Right on cue, the gulls are serenading me with their harmonic voices, the waves are dancing in the sea, and the sun is warm against my skin.
I smile as I watch Patrick and James throw the football back and forth in the back yard.
“Go long, buddy,” Patrick says to our son.
James is doing well in the third grade and is still thriving in the gifted program. He has a spelling bee coming up soon, too. I’m so happy he enjoys English like me, though he says he wants to be a pilot just like his father. Lord, help me get through that, should he decide to follow through with it someday. He calls Patrick dad, but just as I promised, I tell him who Harley was every day. James still kisses Harley’s picture each night after we say prayers together.
James catches the football and screams with delight. Patrick runs to congratulate him.
“You did it! That was amazing!”
He picks our son up and twirls him in the air, just as naturally as any father would. I married a pretty strong guy because James is not so little anymore, weighing at least 80 pounds. He still has Harley’s stunning blue eyes and his warm heart. I love that I still have a piece of Harley with me every time I look at James.
My focus shifts from the two of them to the floor below me when I hear a soft cry. I lift Julia up into my arms from her bouncer and plant soft, soothing kisses on her head. “What’s the matter, my sweetie? Are you hungry?”
She’s only three months old and can’t speak of course, but I’ve learned her cries, just like I learned James’ when he was little. It took a while, but Mom was right. If a mother really listens, and pays attention to her child, she can learn everything she needs to know to meet the needs of her baby.
And if a woman listens to her heart, and learns its cries, she’ll know when the right man comes along to meet those needs as well.
I tell my boys I’m going inside to make dinner and feed the baby.
“Do my girls need me?” Patrick asks with a smile. He’s an incredibly involved father and treats both of our children with the same love and affection. And he adores me.
“No, you guys keep playing. I’ll be back soon.”
I don’t want to interrupt their bonding time. James needs the fatherly influence, and Patrick loves spending time with him, though he will always know who Harley is. Patrick is very understanding about their relationship and I’m thankful for that. If I can’t have Harley, I couldn’t have chosen a better father for James.
He was my first love and I’ll never forget our time together. He wanted to give me the world, but in the end, he gave me someone who became my world. For that, I will always be grateful.
Life doesn’t always work out the way you hoped or imagined.
Sometimes, it’s even better.
~
Acknowledgements
Writing this book has been an incredible journey—one that would not have been completed without the support of a few amazing people.
Denham Sanders (aka my hubby): Though I’m fully aware that you have never, and probably will never, read my romance novels; you should know that you have been an important part of each one. The passion I feel for you helps me write authentic, emotionally-raw scenes that real people can identify with. Thank you for supporting me every step of my writing career thus far—including cooking dinner on nights I was glued to my laptop for hours on end, taking care of our kids so I could write in peace, and even buying the first copy of ALL of my books. Yes, I knew about that. Most of all, I thank you for showing me what true love, passion, and intimacy is. I love you most-est!
My children: I should probably thank you guys the most for all the many nights you ate late, thrown-together dinners because ‘mommy was at the computer again’. I hope someday you guys experience the kind of passion I have for my writing, in whatever you may choose to do in life. Don’t follow your dreams. Chase them with every ounce of energy you have and believe in yourself no matter what anyone else says. I love you all more than life itself!
Alicia McDaniel: You have been my cheerleader from the beginning, supporting everything I’ve written. I appreciate you finding time in your busy schedule to read my work ... repeatedly . I love you forever!
Rebecca Krawcewicz: Thank you for always giving me honest feedback and helping me make my writing stronger, and more believable. I love that you enjoy my stories and thank you for everything you’ve done. I love you so much!
An
ita Kovacevic: You have been become such an incredible friend and sounding board for this book. I appreciate you reading, and re-reading (after many edits) my story—especially given our six-hour time difference, because I know many times you were up into the wee hours of the morning reviewing it. I truly cherish our friendship and your input as a gifted author.
Beth Hale: Your book, ‘Trusting Jack’, was one of the first Indie books I’d ever read and I was blown away! You inspired me to enter the cut-throat arena of romance writing and I haven’t thought of turning back since. You continue to be a supportive sounding board, advisor, and most of all ... incredible friend. I know you are a busy mom and appreciate you taking the time to always give me your thoughts. I’m so happy we met .
Thank you to my readers who continue to read and review my stories, helping me come one step closer to my dream of becoming a professional author. Thank you for giving my ideas a voice and my characters a chance to come alive. I hope you enjoyed Harley and Jewel’s story as much as I enjoyed creating it.
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If you haven’t already done so, be sure to check out my debut contemporary romance novella,
When Darkness Breaks
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