by L A Cotton
“Hey, Becca.” Vin Stokes appeared at her side. “Everything okay here?”
I glared at him, wondering what the fuck he was playing at, but it rolled off him as he glanced back and forth between us. “Becca?”
“Could you drive me home?”
He shrugged. “Sure, come on. Later, Porter.” Vin hoisted his bag further up his shoulder and motioned for Becca to lead the way.
Fucker. Anger boiled through me, and I clenched my fist. “B …” The words died on my tongue because what was the point? She wasn’t ready to hear what I had to say, and I couldn’t blame her. But it didn’t mean I was ready to give up.
I watched her leave the building with Stokes. He stood a little too close for my liking, but in a weird way, I was glad she had him, and Lilly, and Jay, even Malachi. Kendall promised to back off now that she’d ruined Becca’s shot at an easy ride through senior year, but I didn’t trust her. If Kendall saw an opportunity to make someone hurt, she’d take it.
I kept walking, taking a left when I exited the school. Mellie collected Eli from school on Thursdays, so I took the shortcut through the track field to get home quicker.
“It’s so sad,” a voice said, and I turned to come face to face with Kendall. “Watching you mope after her like a sick puppy.”
“Fuck you, Kendall.”
Her eyes sparkled with something, and she chewed her thumb. “Just say the word, Evan.”
“You’re sick; you know that?” I hissed.
She let out an exasperated breath. “We’re barely cousins. Besides, I’ve seen the way you look at me.”
“You’re delusional. I want nothing to do with you or your crazy-as-fuck family. Stay away from me and stay away from Becca.” I kept going, knowing that if I stuck around, I’d probably say or do something I’d regret, but her words followed me.
“Her life at Credence High is over, Evan. O-ver! And you can avoid me all you want, but we’re family, baby, fam-i-ly.”
~
“Evan,” Eli shrieked as he came bounding into the house. “You’re home.”
I caught him midleap and hugged him to me. “It’s good to see you, buddy.”
“Mom said we can go and get ice cweam after dinner if I eat all my vegitables.”
“She did, huh?”
Mom had obviously forgotten she had a shift at the store. She wouldn’t be home until eight thirty, and Eli’s bedtime was seven thirty.
“Yeah. She said I can have anyfink I want, so I’m getting the mint and the cookie dough.”
“Mint and cookie dough? Wow.” I patted his head and wrestled him off my lap and onto the couch. “Was he okay at pre-K?”
Mellie replied, “He was fine. I picked him up, and we made pizza.”
“Pizza? I hope you saved me some?”
Eli’s cheeks turned the color of beets. “Hmm, Mr. Stompy ate it.”
“Mr. Stompy?”
Mellie laughed gently, mouthing, “His latest favorite.”
“Okay. Well, what do you say to Mellie?”
“Thank you, Mellie.”
“Thanks,” I mouthed. I didn’t know what we would do without her. She waved and let herself out. Eli switched on the television and snuggled into my side. “Can we go and see Becca again soon?”
I stifled a groan. He’d asked the same question almost every day since we last saw her. “I don’t know about that, buddy. Remember I told you Becca and I had a fight?”
“Yeah, I know, but you said sorry, wight? So now she should be your fwiend again?”
“I tried, but I think it’s going to take more than just an apology.”
“Ooh, I know! You could buy her fowers. They always make Mellie happy.”
Somehow, I suspected flowers weren’t going to cut it either.
“Or you could buy her a football. She wiked playing football with me.” He turned to me with mischief sparkling in his eyes. “Hey, I could invite her to the park again. I bet she’d wike to pwray with me and then she’d have to forgive you because I can’t go alone.”
I smiled. He was so innocent; I didn’t have the heart to burst his bubble. “Maybe, buddy, maybe.”
“Awesomes. Will Mom be home soon? I want ice cweam.”
I ruffled his hair and stood. “Mom left a note. She’s really sorry, but she got called into work.”
Disappointment flashed in his eyes, and I hated her for doing this to him. He didn’t deserve it. I’d learned to accept Mom’s faults a long time ago, but Eli was just a baby. He didn’t understand.
“But she promwised.” His bottom lip quivered.
“She left ten dollars, though, just for you.”
“She did?” The disappointment ebbed away and was replaced with excitement.
“Yeah, and she said to get the biggest sundae they have.”
“Yay.” He leaped up and cheered. “Can I get extra spwinkles?”
“Sure thing, as long as I can share.” I grabbed the keys off the counter.
“No way! You ate it all last time.”
I laughed. He’d ordered a fudge sundae and managed three mouthfuls before declaring himself full. “Okay, okay, come on,” I said. “The last one to my car is a rotten egg.”
~
Eli gripped my hand. “I feel sick.”
“You ate a lot of ice cream, buddy.”
“Too much.” He groaned as we walked along Main Street. “I don’t fink I can walk, Ev.”
“Come here.” I bent down and hoisted him up in my arms. He shrieked with delight, wrapping his chubby hands around my neck.
“It was a lot of ice cweam, wasn’t it? Told you I could eat it all.”
“So you did.”
“Hey, there’s the diner where Becca works. Can we go say hi?”
My eyes landed on the diner. I didn’t even know if she would be working, and it was wrong to use a child as leverage, but I’d take what I could get.
“Let’s go see if she’s there,” I said.
Eli leaned in and whispered something, and I smiled. Almost four and he already had the moves. He would break hearts when he was older.
“That sounds like a great idea. Come on.”
We stopped at the store a couple of buildings from the diner, and I let Eli choose since it was all part of his plan to get Becca to forgive me. When we reached the diner, he turned to me and said, “Let me go in first. She’ll be happy then for when you say sorry again.”
I nodded and pushed the door open, letting him duck underneath my arm. Cindy’s head whipped up, and she frowned.
I held up my hands in surrender. “We come in peace.” My head flicked at Eli who was already looking around for Becca. “Is she here?”
Cindy grimaced, but when her eyes landed on Eli, they softened, and she smiled. “Becca, you have a table.”
The door separating the front and back of the diner swung open, and Becca’s gaze collided with mine, anger blazing.
Shit. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
Becca
“Becca!” Eli squealed with delight, bouncing toward me carrying a bunch of bright pink roses. I focused on the child and not his brother who stood awkwardly across the diner.
“Well, this is a nice surprise.” I crouched down to his level. “Are these for me?”
He nodded eagerly, wearing a huge grin on his face. “They match your uniform.”
“They sure do.” I took the flowers from him and brought them to my nose. “And they smell beautiful.”
“Evan said you had a fight?”
Cindy chuckled behind me, and I threw her a glare that had her disappearing to the back, no doubt to spy on me with Rusty.
“He did, did he?” My eyes flickered over to Evan. He watched me intently. It was a sly move to bring Eli here to play middleman.
Eli slipped his hand into mine—and I couldn’t help but wonder if Evan had rehearsed this whole thing with him—and tugged. “I missed you; you haven’t been around for ages.”
“I’ve been
busy with school and working, buddy.”
“Well, I’m here now. Can you come and pwray ball with us?”
“I- hmm … I’m working. I’m sorry.”
His infectious smile melted away, and I felt a rush of guilt. “Can we hang out here then?” He glanced around the empty diner.
“We should probably let Becca get back to work, buddy.” Evan was there, standing right in front of us.
“But we just got here; I don’t wanna weave yet. You said you were going to say so—”
“Eli,” I said, crouching back down to him. “I’ll see you soon, okay? But right now, I really need to go back to work, sweetheart.”
His eyes lit up. “And we can pwray ball?”
“Sure.” The lie was rancid on my tongue.
“Did you hear that, Ev? Becca will come pwray ball again soon.”
I was going to hell.
Evan nodded curtly, his intent gaze still pinned on me. “Say bye to Becca, buddy, and go wait for me over there.”
“Bye, Becca.” His arms went wide, wrapping around my waist as he squished his little face against me.
“Bye, Eli,” I croaked, my throat dry.
When the little boy was out of earshot, Evan leaned in close, his eyes burning with irritation. “You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”
My eyes narrowed with their own anger. “And you should haven’t brought him here,” I hissed, keeping my voice low. “This is my job, Evan. You have no right.”
“He wanted to see you.”
I didn’t want to feel sorry for him, but it was impossible. Evan carried the weight of his mom’s addiction and the responsibility of his little brother. But it wasn’t my problem anymore; Evan saw to that.
Letting out a frustrated breath, I whispered, “You shouldn’t have brought him here.”
Evan didn’t speak; he just watched me. And I couldn’t breathe. He seemed so torn, battling some invisible demons. You shouldn’t care, I scolded myself. When he didn’t say anything, I said, “Goodbye, Evan.”
I walked away from him, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last time.
~
Cindy insisted on displaying the flowers in a vase on the counter next to the cash register. “Too pretty to waste,” she’d said. And they were pretty—those specially dyed kind that made the color so vibrant it looked like it came from another planet.
“It was a cute move.”
I jumped, startled at Cindy’s stealth. She moved around the diner like a cat.
“Can you please stop doing that? And like I said, not talking about it.”
“Oh, come on, sugar, he came armed with a cute toddler and candy pink roses. He’s a keeper.”
He really isn’t. “Yeah, well, that ship has sailed.”
“Didn’t look like it from where I was standing.”
“And where exactly where you standing?”
Cindy barked out a laugh. “Busted. Me and Rusty were spying on you out of the service hatch.”
“Of course, you were.” I rolled my eyes and began wiping down the tables again. Anything to avoid this conversation.
“I just don’t understand what happened. He went to so much effort for homecoming, and you seemed so smitten with him.”
“Cindy,” I groaned. “I don’t want to discuss it.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll drop it for now. But, sugar, he isn’t going to give up.”
That was precisely what I was worried about. Eleven days had passed since I walked into the school and had my sliver of normal ripped out from under me, and Evan was still trying to apologize.
“Yeah, well, it’s too late for that.”
She smiled wryly. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”
“Not listening,” I called back, refusing to make eye contact. The doorbell chimed as a crowd of kids entered. My stomach plummeted when my eyes landed on Kendall. Cindy was quick to notice and went over to them.
“What’ll it be?”
“A booth, please,” one of the girls said.
“Follow me.” Cindy shot me a glance that said she had my back. But something filled the hollow in my stomach, a fire that had me marching toward them and saying, “It’s fine. I can take it.”
She eyed me warily, but I smiled wide and turned to the group. “I’m Becca, and I’ll be your server today.”
Kendall’s eyebrow quirked up, and she tilted her head to the side, regarding me. A couple of the girls glanced back and forth between us, obviously confused. Hell, I was confused, but I couldn’t spend the next eight months of my life running in the other direction whenever Kendall walked into a room.
“I’ll get a chocolate shake, please,” someone said, and I jotted it down, waiting for the other orders. Kendall went last; her eyes still trained on me. “I’ll get a fruit smoothie please, Becca.”
A shudder rippled through me, but I did my best to flash them a smile as I said, “I’ll get your drinks right away and come back to take your food order.”
Snickers followed me as I made my way to the counter to put their order in. But I let them roll off me.
“Hey, everything okay?” Cindy leaned in and whispered.
I nodded stiffly. “I’m good, thanks.”
“You show ‘em, sugar.”
I doubted Kendall O’Hare was the kind of girl you showed anything, and I knew my little show of strength wouldn’t go unnoticed, but I wasn’t another Ami. She wasn’t going to run me out of Credence because of a few photos and insults. I’d already run from one town; it wasn’t happening again. I just needed to stand tall and show no signs of weakness.
Cindy helped me prepare the drink order and load the tray. I carried it carefully, paying close attention to any strategically placed feet, but the table paid me little notice. When everyone had their correct drink, I asked, “Can I get you anything to eat?”
The guys wasted no time ordering burgers and fries, and the girls ordered a salad each, just leaving Kendall. I eyed her as she studied the menu. “Hmm,” she mused, “what should I get?”
Trevor slung his arm over her shoulder and smirked. “I have something you can feast on.”
“Ugh, gross, Trevor.” She shirked him off and fixed her eyes on me. “That’s not what I want.”
“You weren’t complaining last night,” he grumbled, but I had a feeling he was missing Kendall’s unspoken meaning. She wasn’t talking about food, at all.
“I bet Becca knows what I want, right?” She cocked her head, and all their heads snapped up in my direction.
“The chicken burger is good,” I stated flatly, and a slow smirk broke over her face.
“Sounds perfect. See, I told you Becca knew what I wanted.”
I hurried back to ring up their order and then went into the back. The second the door shut behind me, I leaned against the wall and inhaled a deep breath as my whole body trembled. I’d been a fool to believe it was over, and that Kendall had moved on, because the warning in her words slapped me in the face.
She wasn’t done with me.
Not by a long shot.
~
One more day.
Six hours and then I could forget about this hellhole for the weekend. The morning passed without much drama, and part of me hoped the kids of Credence were finally moving on. Being the social leper had its upside; I didn’t have to fight the crowds to get to my locker because kids jumped out of the way as if I carried some contagious disease. But when I reached the locker banks, I regretted my decision to stash my books instead of hauling them around in my bag. Lilly glanced nervously at me and then at Scarlett and back again. “Oh, hey, Becca, I … hmm, I …”
I pursed my lips. “It’s fine, Lilly.” I didn’t address Scarlett. “I just need to put something in my locker, and then I’m gone.”
“No, don’t go, stay.” Her eyes pleaded with me. “Scarlett was just saying—”
“I’ll catch you later, Lilly,” Scarlett said as I opened my locker and deposited the books. “B
ecca, I …”
I froze. Scarlett Peters didn’t apologize. That wasn’t her style. Tension descended over us, and I remained with my face pressed into my locker, waiting. But the words never came, and Lilly sighed. “Do you hate me?”
Slamming the locker shut, I sighed. “She’s your friend.”
“So are you.”
I shrugged. “I have to go.”
“Becca, wait. I’m sorry, okay? But she’s all alone, and her mom—”
I swung around. “I get it, I do, but what she did … I can’t just forget that. I thought she was my friend.”
“She was. I mean, she is. Scarlett is …” Lilly searched for the right word. “Complicated. And you kept your past from us too.”
“We all have secrets, Lilly. Things we’d rather not tell people, things that we can’t tell people. If I’d have walked into Credence advertising my old life, would you have given me the time of day? If Scarlett hadn’t invited me along to The Vault, would you have bothered trying to get to know me?”
Her mouth opened and then closed again.
“I didn’t think so. So we can spend all day going around and around in circles. Did Scarlett do me a favor by taking me under her wing? Maybe. But I’d rather have no friends than ones who lie to my face.”
I was a hypocrite; I knew that. But it wasn’t the same. I hadn’t lied about my life in Montecito to hurt anyone; I’d done it to protect myself. To fit in. Lilly’s silence had confirmed what I already knew—the kids here wouldn’t have given me a chance had they known the truth. Scarlett had befriended me because Evan knew Kendall would come after me. And they kept that from me, letting me believe their intentions were good. Honest. I couldn’t trust either of them, and in the end, their efforts had only made things worse.
Kendall still came after me.
“Becca, come on; don’t be like that.”
“I’ll catch you later, Lilly.” I walked away and didn’t look back, pushing down the guilt swarming my stomach.
The only person I could trust was myself. It was the only way I would protect myself from getting hurt again. Evan, Scarlett, Mom, and Dad could apologize and try to smooth things over, but the damage was done.