by L A Cotton
Dad gripped Mom’s shoulders and leaned in to whisper something to her. Her frown melted away, and she sighed. “Fine, fine, you see if you can talk any sense into her. I’ll be upstairs. Good night, Becca.”
“Night,” I said, settling my gaze on my father.
“Becca,” he finally addressed me. “How about you come have a chat with your old man? Like old times?”
“Whatever, Dad.” I brushed past him and made my way to his den like I had a hundred other times when we lived in Montecito. He spent so much time in the damn thing; it was usually the only place you could get his attention. I dropped onto the leather armchair in the corner of the room, my muscles deliciously sore thanks to Evan and his Impala.
“How’ve you been?” Dad took his usual seat behind his desk.
“Okay, I guess.” This was weird. Could he tell I’d just had sex? Not that he was around enough anymore to notice the small things. He didn’t even notice the piercing in my nose until Mom pointed it out over dinner one night. That had been fun.
“Becca, you haven’t said a single word to me since I told you Kane is awake.” A shudder ripped through me at the mention of his name. “I’m sorry; that was unnecessary. I’ve given you time, sweetheart, but you can’t hold this against me forever. I only kept it from you because I thought I was protecting you.”
People kept saying that. We did it to protect you. But what happened to being honest and letting me decide what I needed protecting from or didn’t? I wasn’t a child anymore. Being constantly treated like one was frustrating.
“I know, and I will be forever grateful for what you did for me, but you can’t keep hiding things from me, Dad. I deserved to know he was awake.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. He looked so tired as if he was carrying the weight of the world. I guess in some ways, he was. And it was all my fault. A burst of self-loathing filled my chest. No matter how much I tried to push it down and forget, there was no escaping Kane Larson.
“I didn’t want you to worry.”
A strangled laugh tumbled out. “It’s a bit late for that,” I said. “I’ll never forget what happened, Dad. I have to live with it for the rest of my life, but I’m trying to move on. To put it behind me. You keeping this from me ... It hasn’t made it any easier.”
He let out a heavy sigh. “I know, sweetheart. I know.”
Silence filled the room until it pressed against me, stifling and heavy.
“I’m not acting out.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to tell him that. Mom didn’t get it; she never did. “I just ... I’m just trying to fit in. Credence is ...”
“Different. I know, Becca. And I’ve spent a lot of time wondering if I did the right thing by bringing us here, but you deserve to graduate, to go to college, and have a life. And Mac, he wanted to help …” His voice trailed off as he stared out at nothing.
“Dad?”
He blinked, coming back to me, and helped himself to a drink. “What happened was an accident. You were defending yourself. Your mother is just worried. I’m worried. You’re so different, sweetheart, and it scares us.”
My eyes dropped to the floor. He was right. I was different. But surely, they hadn’t expected me to be the same girl as before ... She was gone long before we moved here.
“You know, that night, when I found you ...” Dad paused, and I held my breath, waiting. “Everything I knew went right out the window. All I saw was my daughter, bruised and covered in blood, and I wanted to make it all go away.”
I lifted my eyes and met his. They were damp with tears, sad. “And it was all my fault.” He lifted the glass to his mouth, tipping his head back.
“Dad, don’t, please …” I hated that he blamed himself. He couldn’t have done anything. That was all on me. I flirted with Kane, I pursued him, and I played his game because he made me feel desired and special. But I realized now, that was what it was to him. A game. A dark and twisted game.
“Dad, none of what happened was your fault. I made some bad decisions, and I’m so sorry I put you and Mom through that.”
He didn’t speak, too overcome with emotion, no doubt. We didn’t discuss what happened often, but when we did, Dad struggled with it, as any father would. I went to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. “Thank you, for everything. I love you, Dad. But you have to trust me. Evan is a good guy. I like him. He makes things … easier. I know what I’m doing.”
He patted my arm but remained silent, and I left. Over the past year, I’d learned he had his own way of dealing, and I had mine.
~
Up in my room, I washed up and got changed for bed. When I crawled into bed, I was still able to smell Evan on me and feel the ache in my muscles from him pressing into me. It wasn’t how I saw the night going—I hadn’t even considered he would show up at Teller’s, but he had. And now things were more confusing than ever because Evan had finally fessed up. More than that, he’d opened up to me. It was all I had wanted, so why wasn’t I jumping for joy?
I’d told myself it would only be one kiss. But who was I kidding? It was never just one kiss with Evan. When he’d touched me and looked into my eyes with his intense, pained gaze, my walls had crumbled down around me, and it was hard to remember he’d lied. That every time he’d been with me, telling me to watch my back, to stay away from Rogues and The Vault, it was because he knew. Knew that Kendall was out to get me. All along he knew, and he never said a damn word. He just wants to protect you, a traitorous voice whispered. Ugh. It was so confusing and frustrating. He was so confusing. Evan had spent weeks keeping me at arm’s length—the constant push and pull—to keep our budding relationship from everyone. And now, suddenly, he wanted to what? Walk into school as a couple? Wouldn’t that only piss Kendall off more? More importantly, did I even care?
My cell phone bleeped on the nightstand, and I leaned over to grab it. Evan’s name filled the screen, and I opened the message.
You were amazing. Be ready at eight thirty. E x
Rolling onto my back with a smile, I typed out a reply.
I have legs. I can walk.
Eight thirty, Becca x
I smiled wider. Evan had always been bossy, but he was taking it to a whole other level. Deciding to let him stew for a while, I went to lock the screen when I noticed another unread message. The one I’d received on the ride out to the field. My finger hovered over the little envelope, realizing it was the same number as before. Part of me wanted to delete it and not even acknowledge it, but I was a sucker for punishment because when my finger pressed, and the words filled the screen, I instantly regretted my decision.
There’s no escaping the game, bitch.
Be ready.
Evan
“Where have you been? You’re late.” Mom was leaning against the door, obviously waiting for me.
“I told you I was going out.”
“With her?” It came out a hiss, and my defenses snapped into place. One night. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it? Just one night of being a normal eighteen-year-old?
Refusing to get into an argument with her, I brushed past her, changing the subject. “Did Eli go to bed okay?”
She followed me into the living area. “He was fine.”
“I thought you’d be asleep by now. Don’t you have to be at the store early?”
“I was waiting for you.”
“Mom, you don’t need to wait up for me anymore.”
Her face softened a fraction, and a look of melancholy passed over her features. “Were you with her?”
“She has a name, Mom.” I helped myself to a glass of water.
“She’ll try to take you away from me, from Eli. You can’t leave us, Evan. We need you.”
I leaned back against the counter, gripping the edge. “I’m not leaving, but Becca is important to me. You need to understand that.” We’d already had this conversation more than once, but each time, Mom got too hysterical, so I’d changed the subject. I knew
it was residual shit from my father leaving her, but it didn’t make it any easier to bear.
We stood there, glaring at one another, eyes saying all the things we were too scared to say. Until I let out a long sigh.
“Eli is my brother; I’d never let anything happen to him. I take him to pre-K, pick him up, make him dinner. I am there for him. I have been there for him for the past three years.” When you decided drowning your sorrows in a bottle was more important than taking care of your kids. “But I’m eighteen, and I deserve a life too. Becca’s not going anywhere. Get used to it.” Because if I had my way, Becca would be a part of my life.
I’d sensed the change in her outside Teller’s. She didn’t want to let me back in—had convinced herself that I couldn’t break down her barriers—but I pushed just enough until, piece by piece, her walls crumbled. And now that I had an in, I didn’t plan to give her a reason to push me out again. If that meant going public, if it meant declaring to the whole fucking school that she was mine, then that was what I would do. Because I refused to lose her again.
I checked my phone to see if she had replied yet. I’d text her out in the car that I would pick her up for school in the morning, and of course, she refused. But I wasn’t taking no for an answer. I was slowly learning that Becca was like a caged animal. If you gave her too much space, she’d make a run for it. Shucking out of my jeans, I yanked my t-shirt over my head and flopped onto the bed.
Are you sleeping?
It was lame. Hell, I was lame. But tonight was everything to me. I needed her to know that. She texted back this time.
No, but I’m in bed
What are you wearing?
Jesus, I sounded like a lovesick puppy, but she did that—she made everything seem brighter somehow. Becca made me want a shot at normal.
Evan!!! Go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow x
Night, Becca x
I replied.
Night, Evan x
Perhaps it was a good thing she ended the conversation. All this stuff was bubbling inside me; stuff I wanted to tell her. I’d never felt that before—not that there’d been anyone for a while. I gave up on trying to date when taking care of Mom and Eli became a full-time job. Not that I really dated in the first place, but there had been a couple of girls here and there.
No one like Becca, though.
No one affected me the way she did.
I hit the light switch on the wall behind me and threw an arm behind me. I was too wired to sleep. I could still taste her, feel her wrapped around my dick. The way she just gave it up for me, right there in the back of my Impala … Becca would be the death of me.
And I just couldn’t seem to find it in myself to care.
~
Becca’s house came into view, and I pulled over, cutting the engine. She hadn’t replied to my text this morning, probably hoping if she pretended it wasn’t happening, then it wouldn’t. But I was here, and she was getting in my car and riding to school with me whether she liked it or not. We were doing this. All in. It was probably what I should have done all along instead of trying to keep our relationship a secret.
I intended on making up for lost time. Screw Mom, screw Kendall and the man she called dad. Screw them all. A smile broke over my face, remembering Eli’s words of encouragement this morning when I dropped him off at pre-K and told him my plans to pick up Becca. “She has to say yes, E. She’s in our cwub now,” he’d said, high fiving me like a champ. The little shit loved her more than I did. Did I just say …? I shut down that line of thought. There was going public, and then there was losing my damn mind.
The curtain twitched in the front window, a woman’s face scowling in my direction. Okay, so maybe I hadn’t quite thought my plan through, but what the hell? I was throwing in all my chips—making myself a part of Becca’s life—so meeting her mom would happen sooner or later. I just hoped her dad had already left for work.
Running clammy hands down my black jeans, I climbed out of the Impala and strolled up her driveway. The door opened before I could knock. “Can I help you?” The woman’s eyes narrowed, and I had a pretty good idea she knew who I was. Maybe she’d seen me drop Becca off last night.
“Hi,” I said, hands jammed into my back pockets. “I’m Evan, a friend of Becca’s.”
“Hmm, hello,” she replied icily. Yeah, she’d definitely seen me—or the Impala—last night. “I’m Melinda, Becca’s mom.”
“And I’m out of here.” Becca appeared, looking flustered as she leaned up to press a kiss to her mom’s cheek before ducking underneath her arm. “I’ll see you later.”
She grabbed my arm and tugged me along with her, grumbling under her breath.
“We’ll be talking about this later,” her mom’s voice called after us.
“I can’t believe you did that,” Becca hissed as I opened the door for her.
“You want me to be your dirty little secret forever?” My eyes searched hers as she buckled up.
“Evan, I—”
I slammed the door on her, irritation building in me. I hadn’t meant for the words to tumble out. I didn’t really care what her parents thought about me. Did I? But we still hadn’t talked much about her life in Montecito or why they’d ended up in a place like Credence.
At the driver’s door, I glanced over at her house. Her mom was still watching us with disapproval written all over her face. I yanked open the door and slipped inside.
“Evan, will you calm down and let me explain?”
“What’s to explain? Your mom doesn’t think I’m good enough for you; I get it.” My hands gripped the wheel, and she sighed heavily. “My mom thinks every guy ever born isn’t good enough for me. Trust me; it’s not you.”
What was that supposed to mean? I threw her a quizzical look, and she smirked. “Besides, I don’t care what she thinks.”
“What?”
Becca leaned in close. “I said I don’t care what she thinks.”
“Is that right?” I arched my eyebrow, lowering my face to hers. I didn’t know what I’d expected when I turned up at her house this morning, but after her messages last night and her silence this morning … it wasn’t this.
I liked it.
Becca moved first, her soft lips brushing against mine. The air around us shifted, the significance of the moment filling every inch of space between us. “Is it wrong that all I can think about is last night?” she murmured through her kiss.
My lips tugged into a wide smile. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”
“So we’re really doing this? It’s really happening?”
I eased back to lock my eyes on hers. “It’s really happening. Are you ready?”
For just a second, I thought I saw something flicker in her eyes—fear or surprise—but it was gone before I could analyze it, and Becca nodded before diving at me and showing me just how ready she was.
~
“Everyone’s staring.” Becca nudged closer into my side as I guided us into school. When I’d parked and gotten out of the car, no one even glanced in my direction. It wasn’t until I went around to the passenger side, opened the door, and Becca climbed out that heads started to turn.
“Ignore them,” I whispered against her hair, pressing my hand a little tighter against her hip.
“Easy for you to say. You’re not the new girl who already got trampled on by the most popular girl in school.” She laughed, but I heard the strain—Becca still wasn’t over what went down with Kendall. And I didn’t blame her.
“Hey.” I stopped us, gathering her into my arms. A couple of girls whispered a little too loudly, staring in our direction. But they could stare all they wanted—it was time people knew Becca was off-limits. “Stop worrying, okay? I should have done this a long time ago.”
Her face scrunched up in confusion as I gazed down at her, my hands clasped around her lower back. “Done what, Evan? What are you talking about?”
So I showed her.
Right there, ou
tside the school building with kids huddling around waiting for classes to start, I kissed her. It was supposed to be a gentle peck; something to comfort her and reassure her that everything would be okay. But before I knew it, Becca slid her hand into my jacket and twisted her fingers into my t-shirt, moaning softly as she gave into the moment.
When I broke away, her lips were swollen and her skin flushed. “Oh,” she whispered, lifting a finger to her mouth. “That was …”
I laughed, wrapping her back into my side, and dropping a kiss on her head. I didn’t know what shocked people more—that Evan Porter just kissed Becca Torrence outside school … or that he’d laughed in public.
Becca
By the time we reached my locker, we had amassed an audience.
“They’re all watching,” I whispered. Evan stood poised behind me, leaning over my shoulder. He swept my hair away and kissed my neck. “So?”
I turned in his arms slowly, my eyes sliding to his. “So it’s weird.”
“Becca.” He ducked his head to bring his face level with mine. “Trust me when I say I think they’re more shocked at my behavior than at yours.”
They were? I went to speak, but he cut me off. “I’ve never done this; I don’t talk to people or hang out in crowds, let alone be seen with a girl. Let them stare; it’s just you and me.” He pressed his forehead to mine, and my eyes fluttered shut, taking in the moment.
I liked the sound of that, but it didn’t change the fact that, when I opened my eyes, half of the school was still gawking in our direction. A flash of red came into view, and Scarlett sneered, “Show’s over. Go watch something else.”