by L A Cotton
But Evan was wrong when he said things hadn’t changed because everything had changed. I didn’t have to run anymore, not from my past or Kane or Evan. For the first time since being in Credence, I could stand still and breathe. Better than that, I could finally move forward.
~
“You look like shit.” Scarlett grimaced, refusing to get any closer, unlike Lilly who came and sat beside me on the bed.
“How are you? We’ve been so worried.”
“I’ll be okay. Listen, you guys ...”
“Stop right there.” Lilly held up her hand, silencing me. “It’s forgotten. You did what you had to.”
People kept saying that. Like it excused what I’d put them through. Excused any of the shitty choices I’d made over the past few weeks.
“No, what I did ... it was inexcusable and selfish, and I’ll understand if you never want to talk to me again.”
I watched Scarlett from the corner of my eye. Lilly was kind and would forgive easily, but Scarlett was different. She didn’t let a lot of people in, and I had a feeling once you lost her trust, she wouldn’t give it back without a fight.
“You fucked up, new girl.” My heart sank at her use of my old nickname. But then a slow smirk cracked her face. “But we forgive you.”
My body sagged into the pillows with relief. “As soon as I’m well enough, I’ll go straight to school and iron things out with Principal Garraway, I promise.”
She shrugged. “I’m not going anywhere. Teachers tend to give you a free ride when your mom’s slowly dying of cancer.”
“Scarlett.” My voice was a whisper. I’d known things were bad for her, but she’d never told me, and I hadn’t asked. In typical Scarlett-fashion, she shook her head, and I got her message loud and clear. Not today. Lilly jumped in, changing the subject to her and Jay’s ‘epic’ reunion, and just like that, we slipped back into our old roles.
They had stayed for an hour before Mom announced Evan was back. He appeared in the doorway, and the girls said their goodbyes, promising to visit over the weekend.
“So how’d it go?” Evan joined me on the bed, armed with chips and soda. He’d practically moved in, only returning home to take Eli to pre-K and shower. Mom and Dad had even let the little guy come over to visit a couple of times. But he would have to go back to school eventually.
So would I.
“We’re good, I think. Lilly is Lilly. She practically told me to forget it, but I’m not so sure about Scarlett.”
“She’ll come around. I told you before; you have people here, Becca. Me, the girls, even Jay, Malachi, and Vin.”
I was starting to see that.
“Is she okay?”
Evan tensed beside me, and I entwined my fingers with his. He hated Kendall more than ever for what she’d done to me, but I needed to know.
“Evan?”
“She’ll live.”
He didn’t want to talk about it; I got it. I understood more than most. I hated her too, in my own way, but I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.
“Let’s not discuss her again. Not yet. Maybe one day. But not today.” His arm curved around my shoulder, drawing me closer. “Today, I just want to do this.” Evan’s face dipped to mine, his lips covering my own.
There were still things left unsaid—things that one day, we’d need to discuss. But he was right. It could wait.
Because the truth couldn’t hurt us anymore.
~ Becca ~
“She’s here; she’s here.” Eli’s voice traveled through the house, and I found myself smiling wide as the door swung open. “Becca.” He launched himself at me. He’d grown, his head almost reaching my tummy.
I bent down and wrapped my arms underneath his shoulders, cradling him to my chest. “Hey, buddy. I’ve missed you.”
“We missed you too,” he declared proudly, glancing back at Evan. My eyes traveled up his jeans-clad legs, over the muscle hugging t-shirt, and landed on his face. Overwhelming emotion rushed up my throat, and I swallowed hard, forcing it down. I’d missed him, but I’d underestimated just how much.
“Hi,” Evan mouthed, leaning casually against the doorjamb as Eli squeezed me tighter.
“Hi,” I mouthed back. It had been five weeks. Thirty-five days of surviving on nothing but text messages and late night phone calls. And now he was here, standing in front of me, looking every bit as gorgeous as I remembered.
“My turn, bud.” Evan scooped up his brother and swung him around, depositing him back inside the house. His eyes roved over my face. “God, I missed you.” Evan pulled me into his arms, tucking my head underneath his chin, and held me. My fingers curled into the material of his t-shirt. “I missed you too.”
“I can’t wait to—”
A little body wiggled itself between us and giggled. “The club is back together.”
He had impeccable timing, but I couldn’t help the grin on my face.
~
“How are your mom and dad?” Evan pushed a can of soda toward me. Once the novelty of me being back had worn off, Eli had left us in favor of his toys.
“They’re good. I stopped by the house first and then came here.”
“They’ve been great. Your mom invites us over once a week for dinner. She and Mom even went to the mall together, which was ...” He rubbed his jaw, searching for the right words, and I stifled a laugh at the frown he was wearing.
“I heard all about it,” I said. “But she’s doing better?”
He nodded. “Thanks to your parents and Mellie, she is. She really is.”
I reached for him, snagging his hand and pulling him to me. Evan snuggled between my legs. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Heat pooled low in my stomach. It had been too long.
Leaning down and pressing his head to mine, Evan inhaled deeply while I traced the lines of his face with my eyes. When he opened them again, they were hooded with desire. “He doesn’t go to bed for another hour.”
I giggled. “That’s okay. I waited five weeks, so I’m sure I can wait another hour.”
His lips covered mine, hard and demanding and full of unspoken promises, and a soft sigh escaped my lips.
“Becca,” he groaned. “Keep that up, and I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”
I shoved his stomach, and Evan released me, putting some space between us. “Maybe I can’t wait. Go stand over there.” I motioned to the counter on the other side of the breakfast bar, and he laughed.
“No chance. I just got you back. I need to make the most of it.”
I was only back for the weekend. Classes were intense, and I wanted to make a good impression. Evan had pushed me to apply for college. Even went so far as to side with Mom and Dad over it. At first, I’d been pissed—college wasn’t an option for him, not while Ellen was still in recovery and Eli was so young. And the last thing I wanted to do was leave him, but he was right. They all were. I’d been given a real shot at a fresh start, and I needed to take it. So I’d worked hard on my application and thanks to Miss Panagon, the guidance counselor at school, I’d received an offer from Cal State Monterey Bay. I missed Evan and Eli like crazy, but once I was settled, they promised to alternate weekends with me. It was why I’d gotten an apartment just off campus instead of a dorm room. I wanted them to be able to visit whenever they could.
“Hey.” Evan’s voice coaxed me back. “Everything okay over there?”
I smiled. “I’m good.”
I was. So much had happened in the past year. Darryl’s court case. Finishing school. Starting college. And throughout it all, Evan was my one constant. I owed him my life.
A thick lump rose in my throat, and I tried to swallow the rush of tears.
“Hey, hey.” Evan was on me, smoothing his hands over my shoulders. “You promised, no looking back.”
“I know, I know. It’s just sometimes the memories creep up on me.”
Evan pulled me into his arm. “Kane Larson is gone, Becca. He can’t hurt you anymore. I�
��ve got you. I will always have you.”
A tear slipped from my eye, and I swiped it away with my thumb. “I’m being silly. I think it’s just being back, you know?”
“I love you, Becca. Never forget that.”
As if I could.
~ Evan ~
“He’s asleep.”
Becca glanced up from the couch. Eli hadn’t wanted to go to bed because he was too excited to have Becca back. I wasn’t the only one who had spent weeks pining for her.
Holding out my hand, I waited for her to come to me. Becca laid her palm against mine, and I tugged her toward my room. My self-control was pretty good around Eli, but I was only human. I needed to feel my girl, to show her how much I’d missed her.
When she got her acceptance for California State, part of me wanted to beg her to stay. But after everything she’d been through, Becca deserved better than working at the diner for the rest of her life. We promised to make it work and, although she was barely a semester in, I felt confident we could, especially if this weekend went as planned.
As soon as we were in my room, I pushed the door shut and crowded her against the wall. “God, I’ve been dreaming of this.” My hands cupped her face, burying deep into her hair as I hovered close to her lips, teasing her.
“Evan.” She sighed, and my resolve snapped. My mouth sealed over hers, and Becca curled her hands into my t-shirt, anchoring us together.
How had I survived five weeks of not kissing her? Of not feeling her pressed up against me? When I wasn’t working at Dave’s auto shop, Eli kept me busy. And I occasionally went out with Malachi, but nothing could replace this.
Nothing.
I pulled away, pressing my head to hers. “God, I love you. Do you know how much I love you?”
A burst of red crept up her neck and into her cheeks as she cast her eyes downward. “I love you too.” Her voice was low and filled with vulnerability.
Sliding a finger under her jaw, I angled her face to mine. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I just miss you. I love CSU, and I even made some new friends, but it’s not the same without you.”
“It’s only until Mom gets back on her feet. And now that you’re settled, I’ll come and see you on the weekends.” She didn’t know I intended on seeing a lot more of her.
Becca smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Come here.” I pulled her over to the bed and pushed her down gently. “Stop. Worrying. It’s a couple of hundred miles. It’s nothing. Not when I’m in here.” My lips connected with the skin above her heart. “Or here.” I moved to her forehead and kissed her gently. “Or here.” My hips rolled into her, and she moaned softly. “I’m not going anywhere, Becca. I’m in this for the long haul. All in.”
~
“I can’t believe it’s already Sunday night. I have to leave in an hour, Evan. It’s so unfair.”
“Stay,” I said, hooking my arm around her neck and drawing her face to mine. “Stay. You can drive back early tomorrow.”
She sighed, pressing a lingering kiss to my lips. “I can’t. I have an early class. It’s important. I need to make a good impression.”
“I know. I’m so proud of you.” I captured Becca’s mouth, tangling my tongue with hers. Her hands ran up my chest and rested on my shoulder as her body curved into me.
“An hour, Evan. Don’t start something you can’t finish,” she whispered, smiling against my lips.
A throaty chuckle tumbled out, and I rolled us so I was hovering over her. “An hour is plenty of time.” I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was more like fifty minutes, but still … plenty of time. My fingers smoothed over the column of Becca’s neck, my lips tracing a path down her collarbone to the curve of her chest. We didn’t get enough time alone. Everyone wanted to see her—her parents, Eli, even my mom, and then, as if I hadn’t waited long enough, Lilly and Peters turned up to surprise her.
“God, I’ve missed this.” Becca’s hand dipped underneath my t-shirt. “Be quick. I need you, Evan. Please …” She moaned when my mouth closed around her pebbled skin.
“Let me take my ti—”
“Becca, Evan, we’re home.”
“Motherfucker,” I grumbled shifting off her and giving myself a second to calm my racing pulse. Eli and Mom had impeccable timing.
“Becca, Becca!” His little voice rose louder.
“I think someone wants you.” I shot her an amused look, and she laughed. “Guess, I’d better go see him then.”
“Come on. He’ll only get louder.”
We left my room to find an eager Eli bouncing up and down on his feet. “We’re baaaack!”
“We heard.” I ruffled his hair as I made my way into the living area. “Hey, Mom.”
“I’m sorry.” She gave me a weak smile. “He wanted to say bye.”
“It’s okay.” Becca didn’t know yet, but I had no intentions of saying bye to her tonight. “I should probably tell her anyway.”
“Tell me what?”
Busted. I turned to find Becca standing in the doorway with Eli wrapped around her like a monkey.
“I was thinking …” My mouth dried suddenly. “If you wanted, that I could …”
“Evan’s moving in with you,” Eli proudly declared, and I groaned while Mom stifled a snicker.
“You’re what?” Becca’s eyes were wide with surprise, her jaw slack. She looked adorable. I stalked toward them, putting my arms out for Eli. He came willingly, and I placed him on one of the stools, turning my attention back to Becca.
“This wasn’t how I wanted to do this.” With Mom and Eli gawking at us, but what the hell. They both knew I was crazy about her, and I’d already arranged everything with Mom. She’d been, surprisingly, really great about the whole thing. Mellie, too.
“Do what?” She stared up at me. “What’s going on, Evan?”
I slipped my arms around her waist, anchoring to me. “So I was thinking … what if I spent half the week with you in Monterey Bay and half the week here?”
Confusion clouded her eyes. “But what about the shop? And Eli?”
“Dave’s cool with it. He’s hooked me up with some casual work down there, and Eli is in elementary school now, so he doesn’t need me as much.” I lowered my voice. “They don’t need me as much.”
“You’re completely serious, aren’t you?” She searched my eyes, and my smile grew into a grin.
“I have never been more serious about anything in my life. I never thought I’d get to do this Becca, to have my own life. Say yes.”
Becca pushed up on her tiptoes, her lips finding mine. “Yes,” she breathed.
A chorus of cheers and applause broke out behind us, and we turned to Mom and Eli.
“I’m so happy for you both,” Mom said, wiping her eyes. She was in a better place. I think that after everything with Kane and Darryl, she realized that she needed to be a better mom for Eli, for me. Our relationship still needed work, but she’d been nothing but supportive of my decision.
“I can’t believe this,” Becca whispered into my neck. “I love you, so much.”
“I love you, too,” Eli shrieked, jumping down to tackle us both into a hug. “And I can come on the weekend and stay over, and we hang out and do club things.”
My eyebrows quirked up at Becca, and she laughed. A sound I would never tire of hearing.
It had taken us a long time to get here, but things were good. Better than good, I finally felt like I had a future. One that I could carve out for myself with Becca by my side.
No more secrets.
No more lies.
And definitely no more games.
Playlist
Love – Lana Del Rey
Starving – Hailee Steinfield, Grey
Castle on the Hill – Ed Sheeran
Dark Paradise – Lana Del Rey
I Don’t Want to Live Forever – ZAYN, Taylor Swift
Glory and Gore – Lorde
Somebody to You – The
Vamps, Demi Levato
Nothing Left to Lose – Kari Kimmel
YOUTH – Troye Sivan
Ocean Drive – Duke Dumont
WILD – Troye Sivan, Alessia Cara
Issues – Julia Michaels
Be the One – DuLipa
Dancing On My Own – Calum Scott
Who You Are – jessie J
Big Girls Don’t Cry – Fergie
I Hate You, I Love You – Nash ft. Olivia O’Brien
Stay – Rihanna, Mikky Ekko
Sneak peek from Loyalty and Lies (Chastity Falls #1)
available now at all major vendors
Two minutes later, Jackson came out with two towels. He threw the dry one at me and I started toweling off my hair. The second was damp and rolled up. “It’s not ice, but it should help with the swelling. Hmm, you need help changing?” His eyes flickered back to my chest and I coughed. “Just hand me those pants off the back of the chair and that tank?” I pointed to the desk.
He collected them up and handed them to me. Our fingers brushed, sending tiny sparks shooting through my skin. “Yeah, so umm, I’ll be right over here. Not looking,” he said, more to himself, as he turned away.
Scooting back on the bed, I attempted to peel the wet shirt off my body, eventually managing to wiggle free and yank the clean tank over my head. My jeans were a different matter. They clung to me like a second skin and as I tried to inch them down my legs, my ankle burned. “Damn, that hurts.”
“You okay back there?”
“Yeah. You can turn around now.” I fastened the tie on the slouchy pants and slunk back into the pillows.
Jackson approached the bed, a strained look on his face, as his eyes raked over me. He wrapped the wet towel around my ankle, with enough pressure that I could feel it, but not enough to hurt, and then he grabbed one of the redundant pillows and placed it underneath my lower leg. “There, rest, ice, compression, and elevate. You’ll be as good as new by tomorrow. So, anyway, what were you doing out there?" He left my side and went to sit in the desk chair.