“I know he feels guilty.”
“He said he proposed and you refused,” Holly whispered as a produce clerk started unloading peppers beside them. Had Jake actually told her that? “Now, call me crazy, Claire, but isn’t that what you’ve wanted your entire life?”
She swallowed hard and looked away from Holly and focused on the pineapple display in the distance. “Yes, but not like this. How would you feel if you thought Quinn was just with you out of duty? Jake feels guilty because my dad is a minister. He doesn’t love me, Holly. We haven’t even had a decent conversation since all of this happened.”
“Have you given him a chance? Or have you just been so mad at him? I mean this is Jake, and he’s asked you to marry him. Couldn’t you at least try?”
Claire shook her head and looked away from her friend into Ella’s big eyes. “I’m not shutting him out. He’s going to be a part of our child’s life. But I’ve come a long way—you know that better than anyone. It’s taken me a long time to really feel like I’m worth something, and I deserve more than to be just this woman Jake is forced to marry. You know what it was like growing up with my parents always arguing. That’s what it would be if I just bowed to the pressure.”
“I know what you’re saying, but I also know Jake. And I remember the expression on his face when he came to our house.”
“Hey, whose side are you on?”
“Yours, always yours,” her friend said with a fierce frown. “That is why I want to make sure you’re not going to ruin your life because you don’t give Jake a chance. And personally I think you’re self-sabotaging.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes. You refuse to believe Jake could love you. You’ve got it in your head you’re still the girl that—”
“Don’t say it. Not true. I just told you I’m not marrying him because I have too much respect for the person I’ve become,” Claire said, shaking her head vehemently.
“You may project this confident woman on the outside, but I know you. I know why there haven’t been any men—it’s more than just an infatuation with Jake. And I know for a fact that Amanda groping him at the barbecue brought out all those insecurities. But what if you’re all wrong about him? What if he wants more than just the baby? What if he really wants to try to have a relationship with you? You’re not even going to give him a chance?”
Claire thought of Jake’s hand on her leg today at the doctor’s, his genuine concern for her. Claire ruffled Ella’s hair. “I am giving him a chance. We are on speaking terms now. He even came to my doctor’s appointment this morning.”
Holly lifted her brows. “Really?”
“Yup. And Dr. Hopkins mentioned the whole eating thing in front of him, just to make my life even more absurd.”
“Oh, sweetie.”
Ella patted her hand and tried to mimic her mother’s expression.
Claire took a deep breath. “And after the appointment Jake demanded I tell him everything.”
“Did you?” Holly let out an exasperated noise as another shopping cart bumped into them as people tried weaving in and out of the aisle. She shuffled the cart over to the side, butting up to a display of cantaloupes.
“No. We were standing in the street and then his cell phone rang…,” Claire said, her voice trailing off.
“Just tell him the truth. I’ve gotten to know Jake and he’s not what I expected. He’s not as superficial and indifferent as I thought he was,” Holly said.
Claire met her eyes. “I know. I can see that. I can feel it,” she whispered. That was what scared her the most.
“You’ve got to try, Claire, especially for the baby.”
She nodded. “I’m going to,” she said, trying to convince herself as well as her friend.
“So, the night of our wedding, eh?” Holly said with a mischievous laugh and completely removing the seriousness of their conversation.
Claire couldn’t help but join in. “I’m never drinking whiskey again.”
“You know I think everything happens for a reason. All of this was meant to be. You and Jake were meant to be together. And this baby was meant to be. With all this drama, I haven’t even said congratulations!” Holly said, throwing her arms around her. Claire felt the comfort in her friend’s hug. “Are you happy?”
Claire smiled, looking from Holly to Ella. “I don’t even think I stopped long enough to think about being happy. I just found out last week and then this week has been crazy.”
“Auntie Care, baby!” Ella yelled.
“Shhh,” Holly said to Ella. Ella grinned and held her finger to her lips.
“You are going to be a great mother,” Holly said, ruffling the soft hair on Ella’s head. “There is nothing better,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears as she turned from Ella to look at Claire, and then over Claire’s shoulder. Her eyes grew wide.
Claire turned around slowly to follow her gaze.
Amanda. Why was that woman always around?
“Do you think she remembers me?” Claire asked, unable to think of Amanda without thinking of humiliation.
“Honey, you stabbed a pregnancy test through Jake’s hamburger. Yeah, I think she remembers you.”
Claire gave her an irritated frown. “No, I mean, do you think she remembers me from high school?”
Holly touched her arm gently. Claire had been surprised when she’d returned from college that so many people hadn’t recognized her. Sure, she’d lost weight, but the fact that they didn’t even know who she was had been disconcerting. It had taken her a while to figure out that to many people she’d been invisible, and to others…they remembered her as the laughingstock. But when she’d come back from school, she’d exuded confidence and maturity, and many people didn’t even associate her with that girl in high school.
“No, let’s just walk away slowly. She probably won’t even see us,” Holly whispered.
She nodded but didn’t budge. “Do you think she’s changed?” Since she owned a popular store, she ended up having a lot of old high school peers purchase something at one time or another. Most had grown into nice, respectable adults, and when they realized who she was, looked embarrassed when they remembered their behavior in high school.
Holly shook her head. “No, she hasn’t changed at all.”
“You didn’t tell Jake anything about Amanda, did you?”
“Of course not! You know I would never say anything. I may have questioned him about why she was attached to him like a leech. And he seemed to catch onto something about the way I said her name or something or other.”
“Holly,” Claire moaned, clenching her hands around the shopping cart handle.
“No, no, don’t worry. I totally got out of it.”
Claire felt like a frozen ice sculpture as she watched Amanda pick up a bunch of celery. “It’s stupid, right? It’s stupid to even be affected by things that happened so long ago. I’m sure if she knew who I was, she’d be the one mortified for everything that happened in high school.”
Holly mumbled something under her breath that didn’t really sound too favorable. “Well, it was a long time ago. I get what it feels like to have a hard time burying the past, but you have to. As for Amanda, I’d still like the chance to stuff an éclair down her throat. Or maybe we could roll over her with our shopping cart.”
Claire broke out into a smile and looked at her friend. Both of them burst out laughing. “Figures she’d be buying celery. Keep walking, we’re almost at the bakery section. There’s no way she’d be headed there,” Holly said with a giggle.
Apparently Ella didn’t get the memo on being inconspicuous because she managed to wrestle a cantaloupe free of the pile, which consequently sent the entire mountain tumbling.
“Uh-oh,” Ella said. Holly’s head had dropped to her chest.
“Just move away from the pile slowly. Don’t make eye contact with anyone,” Holly whispered as Claire tried to laugh silently.
“Oh, you’re going to love being
a mother,” Holly said under her breath.
…
Jake paused for a moment, his fingers gripping the cool iron door handle as he watched Claire from outside the store. He tried to picture her as a teenager, but since he was six years older he had a hard time remembering any specific details about her. They hadn’t even been in high school at the same time. He’d been caught up in his own problems at that time and Reverend Holbrook’s daughter wasn’t much on his radar. Sure, Claire and Holly had been amusing when they’d followed him and Quinn around, but that hadn’t lasted long. He’d stopped hanging around his brothers after a while, and the places he went, the trouble he got into, was way beyond anything Claire would know about. She was a perfect daughter in a perfect family. It wasn’t until she was in her twenties, and his life was back on track, that she entered his line of vision. Obviously there was more to her than he’d ever known.
It was five o’clock and her day off, but he had a feeling he’d find her here. She was behind the counter, her laptop open, and from the looks of things, was deep in concentration.
He took a deep breath, swung open the door, and walked in. At least she hadn’t locked it yet. He almost tripped over a bun.
“What the?” He looked down and noticed buns everywhere.
“Don’t trip on the rolls,” Claire called out, not looking away from her computer screen. He could see the makeup smudges from where he was standing, and he spotted the box of tissues. He had the strongest urge to protect her. He wanted to find out why she was crying, who had made her cry, and how he could find said person. Hopefully, he wasn’t the cause of her tears.
“Everything okay?” he asked, tentatively walking toward the counter, careful not to trip on a bun. He wanted to know what made Claire tick.
She didn’t look up from her computer. “Of course. Listen, I’ve been rethinking this whole thing—”
“No. No way. You can’t get rid of me,” he said, trying not to sound like a jerk. But when she raised her eyes to his, those glorious brown eyes weren’t accusing or angry. They were filled with something else and he wondered how he could have walked away from her that night. Because right now, there wasn’t anything in the world that could make him leave.
He closed the distance between them in two strides, not caring whether or not she was going to push him away. He took her hand and gently tugged her into his arms, feeling her resistance until he cradled the back of her head and she melted into him. Claire was right where she should be. He wrapped his other arm around her, feeling her softness, her warmth, and trying his best to absorb her pain.
He missed her. He missed the feel of her body, the warmth of her skin. The night in the hotel room had been so short, and the imprint of Claire in his mind was vividly clear. He heard and felt her take a shuddering breath, and knew she was trying to keep it all together. It only made him want to hold her tighter. He’d never been around long enough to offer anyone comfort, but all of that seemed so long ago, and when it came to Claire it was instinctive, reactive. Like how his heart pumped faster, and his senses hummed louder and moved into overdrive at the sight of her.
“I think I’m starting to get you,” Jake whispered, his mouth brushing against her hair, the clean, floral smell making him want to stay right there, all day.
“I’m actually a very complicated person. I’m sure you don’t get me at all,” she said, shaking her head against his chest, not letting him go.
“You put on this whole perfect act, like you’ve got it all together. You run a successful business, you’ve got a house, you’re a force to be reckoned with. Hell, you even had enough guts to stab my burger with a pregnancy stick in public. But it’s all a front, isn’t it?”
He felt her body tense against his, but she didn’t say anything. “You’ve got this entire other side to you and I had no idea, and I’m starting to realize that walking out on you that night hurt you far more than you let on.”
“No, no, you’ve got me all wrong,” she said, leaning back in his arms. He noticed she didn’t try to pull away from him, though.
“Really, I got it all wrong?” His eyes fell to her lips. He thought they looked even better without lipstick on them, natural and full.
She nodded. “You’re thinking because you’ve seen me cry or be emotional lately you’re the cause of it. It’s the pregnancy hormones. Seriously, I never cry and yet in the last few weeks, it’s all I do. So, nope, has nothing to do with you.”
“What happened at the doctor’s office today?” He watched her reaction closely.
She darted her eyes away from his. “There’s probably something else I should tell you before we get to that.”
Jake stared at her face for a moment. He had no idea what else she could possibly come up with now. He gave her a nod. “I’m listening.”
“I told my mother today.”
He let his head fall back on his shoulders as he stared up at the ceiling. He squeezed his eyes shut and counted to ten.
“I just didn’t want her to hear it from anyone else,” she said softly.
He looked down at her. “I wanted to be a part of that.”
“You’re right. You did say that, and I’m sorry.”
She knocked the wind right out of his argument, because the last thing he expected was an apology. He’d thought there would be arguing, justifying, maybe a few tears. Not an apology. “Thank you. I think if we’re going to make any of this work, we need to be open with each other. You need to tell me what’s going on,” he said gruffly.
She bit her lower lip and looked at his shoulder. He reached out to tuck a wayward strand of silky brown hair behind her ear. Touching her felt completely natural, as if he was meant to do this, and as his finger grazed her earlobe he pictured himself kissing it, taking the soft flesh in his mouth and nibbling, sucking, hearing her gasp with pleasure again…
“Can I ask you for something?” she said suddenly, and he found himself lost in the feel of her. And, yeah, right about now she could ask for anything.
“Of course.”
“I want a ride,” she said softly, brown eyes pleading.
He swallowed hard, an image popping into his head—somehow he didn’t think they were referring to the same thing. Why did she insist on speaking in riddles? “Pardon?”
“A ride. I want a ride on the back of your Harley.” She leaned away from him, her smile widening as his vanished. Jake stared at her.
“I was asking you about—”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Details, details.”
“Hardly.”
“Please take me for a ride,” she said again, this time her hands squeezing his waist.
“No way in hell am I taking you on my bike.”
She smiled sweetly, clearly unimpressed by his refusal. “Please.”
He shook his head again. “No.”
“Why not?”
“It’s too dangerous for a pregnant woman.”
She groaned out loud. “Drive slow.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Jake.”
“Pregnant women don’t ride on motorcycles, especially not mine.”
“Drive me home. I live two minutes from here. I’ll tell you everything if you just take me for a ride.”
He groaned, running his fingers through his hair.. He looked at her, into those eyes that he just knew would be his undoing.
…
Claire couldn’t stop smiling as Jake grumbled, snapping his helmet on. He had already triple-checked hers. He gave her a glare before hopping on the bike. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. A delicious shiver ran through her body. How many years had she dreamed of this? So blackmailing the future father of her child with the promise that she would reveal all the details behind her eating disorder wasn’t exactly the way she envisioned this scene, but she was on the bike nonetheless.
A part of her was ready to tell Jake everything. If there was any chance for them, if Jake showed signs of
the man she had always hoped he’d be, then she’d find out after she told him. But she wasn’t just smiling about the bike victory. His words inside her floral shop made her finally think maybe he felt something more for her than guilty obligation. The way he’d looked at her, his touch, his words, had reached her and made her think maybe her early instincts had been right about him.
He glanced over his shoulder at her. “Hold on,” he said gruffly. He pulled out onto Red River’s main street and Claire waited, and waited. She waited for him to accelerate, but it didn’t happen. She could have walked faster. She squeezed his waist, and it was as rock-hard as she remembered.
“Jake!”
“What?”
“Drive!”
“I’m not going faster than this, baby. You wanted a ride, this is it.”
“I thought I told you I don’t like being referred to as baby,” she said, ignoring just how good it sounded coming from his lips. How was it possible the man could make the word baby sound so…sexy?
“Well, if I were your husband maybe I’d consider it, but since you refused to marry me, I don’t really care,” he yelled over his shoulder.
She was about to tell him what she thought of that logic when she glanced over and spotted Eunice Jacobs passing them, waving. “Do you realize Mrs. Jacobs just passed us in her Mini Cooper? Better go faster, buddy, or she’ll tell the whole town you drive slower than an old lady,” she said as close to his ear as she could get.
“Hold on,” he said and she felt him accelerate, the low, guttural growl of the motorcycle humming through her body. Her heart pounded and she laughed with delight as they sped over the lift bridge, passing Mrs. Jacobs. She let the memory of this morning go, let thoughts of lunch with her mother fly away, and just reveled in being in this moment with Jake. He didn’t go very fast, but fast enough that she felt the exhilarating rush of the cool wind and the turns. He indulged her and drove through some of the quiet back roads of Red River, taking the long way to her home. She breathed in the cool spring air, the smell of water, of the blooming flowers, of Jake’s leather jacket.
The Best Man's Baby Page 10