Not a Nice Man to Know

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Not a Nice Man to Know Page 29

by Khushwant Singh


  Long shadows stretch across the land

  And the cicada calls from the glades.

  The beloved seeks the cool of the evening.

  If the comfort she seeks be in falsehood,

  There will be sorrow in store for her.

  If it be in truth,

  Hers will be a life of joy everlasting.

  My life and its ending depend on the will of the Lord.

  To Him says Nanak, I surrendered my soul.

  Savan (July–August)

  Savan saras mana ghan varsai rut ae

  O my heart, rejoice! It’s Savan

  The season of nimbus clouds and rain,

  My body and soul yearn for my Lord.

  But my Lord is gone to foreign lands.

  If He return not, I shall die pining for Him.

  The lightning strikes terror in my heart.

  I stand all alone in my courtyard,

  In solitude and in sorrow.

  O Mother of mine, I stand on the brink of death.

  Without the Lord I have neither hunger nor sleep

  I cannot suffer the clothes on my body.

  Nanak says, she alone is the true wife

  Who loses herself in the Lord.

  Bhadon (August–September)

  Bhadon bharam bhuli bhar joban pachtani

  In the month of Bhadon

  I lose myself in a maze of falsehood

  I waste my wanton youth.

  River and land are one endless expanse of water

  For it is the monsoon, the season of merry-making.

  It rains,

  The nights are dark,

  What comfort is it to the wife left alone?

  Frogs croak

  Peacocks scream

  The papeeha2 calls peeoh, peeoh’.

  The fangs of serpents that crawl,

  The stings of mosquitoes that fly

  Are full of venom.

  The seas have burst their bounds in the ecstasy

  Of fulfilment.

  Without the Lord I alone am bereft of joy,

  Whither shall I go?

  Says Nanak, ask the guru the way

  He knoweth the path which leads to the Lord.

  Asan (September–October)

  Asan au pira sadhan jhur mui

  It’s the month of Asan

  O Master come to me

  I waste and shall die. If the Master wills,

  I shall meet Him.

  If He wills not,

  In a deep well shall I be lost.

  I strayed on to the paths of falsehood

  And the Master forsook me.

  Age hath greyed my locks

  I have left many winters behind.

  But the fires of hell still lie ahead.

  Whither shall I turn?

  The bough remaineth ever green

  For the sap that moveth within day and night,

  Night and day, reneweth life.

  If the name of the Lord courseth in thy veins,

  Life and hope will forever be green.

  That which cooketh slowly cooketh best.

  It is Asan, says Nanak,

  It is trysting time, O Lord,

  And we have waited long.

  Katak (October–November)

  Katak kirat paiya jo prabh bhaia

  In the month Katak

  Will I get my due.

  What pleases the Lord

  Is all I merit.

  The lamp of wisdom burneth steadily

  If the oil that feeds it

  Be reality.

  If the oil that feeds the lamp

  Be love,

  The beloved will meet the Lord and be fulfilled.

  Full of faults, she dies not

  Nor gains release

  It’s death after virtuous life.

  That doth the Lord please.

  Those who are granted the worship of Thy name

  Merge in Thee, for Thou art then

  Their aim and end in life.

  Nanak says: Lord, till Thou grant vision

  And burst the bonds of superstition,

  One watch of day will drag on like half a year.

  Maghar (November–December)

  Maghar mah bhata hari gun ank samave

  The month of Maghar is bliss

  For her who is lost in the Lord.

  She singeth songs of joy and fulfilment.

  Why not love the Lord who is eternal?

  He who is eternal, wise, omniscient is also the master of destiny.

  The world is agitated because it hath lost faith in Him.

  She that hath knowledge and contemplates

  Loses herself in Him.

  She loveth the Lord, the Lord loveth her.

  In song and dance and verse, let it be the name of Lord Rama

  And sorrows will fly away.

  Nanak says, only she is loved by her Lord

  Who prayeth, not only with her lips

  But worships Him with her soul.

  Pokh (December–January)

  Pokh tukhar pade van trin raps sokhai

  As in the month of Pokh

  Winter’s frost doth freeze

  The sap in tree and bush, so does

  The absence of the Lord

  Kill the body and the mind.

  O Lord, why earnest not Thou?

  I praise through the guru’s Word

  Him that gives life to all the world,

  His light shines in all life born

  Of egg or womb or sweat or seed.

  Merciful God and master! Thy vision grant

  And grant me salvation.

  Nanak says, only she mingles with Him

  Who loves the Lord, the giver of life.

  Magh (January–February)

  Magh punit bhai tirath antar ja nia

  In the month of Magh

  I made my ablution,

  The Lord entered my being.

  I made pilgrimage within myself and was purified.

  I met Him.

  He found me good

  And let me lose myself in Him.

  ‘Beloved! If Thou findest me fair

  My pilgrimage is made,

  My ablution done.

  More than the sacred waters

  Of Ganga, Yamuna and Triveni mingled at the Sangam,

  More than the seven seas.

  All these and charity, alms-giving and prayer,

  Are the knowledge of eternity that is the Lord.’

  Nanak says, Magh is the essence of ambrosia

  For him who hath worshipped the great giver of life.

  Hath done more than bathe in the sixty and eight places of pilgrimage.

  Phalgun (February–March)

  Phalgun man rahsi pretn subha ea

  In the month of Phalgun

  She whose heart is full of love

  Is ever in full bloom.

  Day and night she is in spiritual exaltation

  She is in bliss because she hath no love of self.

  Only those that love Thee

  Conquer love of self.

  Be kind to me

  And make my home Thy abode.

  Many a lovely garment did I wear.

  The Master willed not and

  His palace doors were barred to me.

  When He wanted me I went

  With garlands and strings of jewels and raiments of finery.

  O Nanak, a bride welcomed in the Master’s mansion

  Hath found her true Lord and Love.

  The Exchange of Lunatics

  Translated from the Urdu by Saadat Hassan Manto

  A couple of years or so after the partition of the subcontinent, the governments of Pakistan and India felt that just as they had exchanged their hardened criminals, they should exchange their lunatics. In other words, Muslims in the lunatic asylums of India should he sent across to Pakistan; and mad Hindus and Sikhs in Pakistani asylums be handed over to India.

  Whether or not this was a sane decision, we will never
know. But people in knowledgeable circles say that there were many conferences at the highest level between bureaucrats of the two countries before the final agreement was signed and a date fixed for the exchange.

  The news of the impending exchange created a novel situation in the Lahore lunatic asylum. A Muslim patient who was a regular reader of the Zamindar was asked by a friend, ‘Maulvi Sahib, what is this thing they call Pakistan?’ After much thought he replied, ‘It’s a place in India where they manufacture razor blades.’ A Sikh lunatic asked another, ‘Sardarji, why are we being sent to India? We cannot speak their language.’ The Sardarji smiled and replied, ‘I know the lingo of the Hindustanis.’ He illustrated his linguistic prowess by reciting a doggerel.

  Hindustanis are full of shaitani

  They strut about like bantam cocks.

  One morning a mad Mussulman yelled the slogan ‘Pakistan Zindabad’ with such vigour that he slipped on the floor and knocked himself senseless.

  Some inmates of the asylum were not really insane. They were murderers whose relatives had been able to have them certified and thus saved from the hangman’s noose. These people had vague notions of why India had been divided and what was Pakistan. But even they knew very little of the complete truth. The papers were not very informative and the guards were so stupid that it was difficult to make any sense of what they said. All one could gather from their talk was that there was a man of the name of Mohammed Ali Jinnah who was also known as the Qaid-i-Azam. And that this Mohammed Ali Jinnah alias Qaid-i-Azam had made a separate country for the Mussulmans which he called Pakistan.

  No one knew where this Pakistan was or how far it extended. This was the chief reason why inmates who were not totally insane were in a worse dilemma than those utterly mad: they did not know whether they were in India or Pakistan. If they were in India, where exactly was Pakistan? And if they were in Pakistan how was it that the very same place had till recently been known as India?

  A poor Muslim inmate got so baffled with the talk about India and Pakistan, Pakistan and India, that he got madder than before. One day while he was sweeping the floor he was suddenly overcome by an insane impulse. He threw away his brush and clambered up a tree. And for two hours he orated from the branch of this tree on Indo-Pakistan problems. When the guards tried to get him down, he climbed up still higher. When they threatened him he replied, ‘I do not wish to live either in India or Pakistan; I want to stay where I am, on top of this tree.’

  After a while the fit of lunacy abated and the man was persuaded to come down. As soon as he was on the ground he began to embrace his Hindu and Sikh friends and shed bitter tears. He was overcome by the thought that they would leave him and go away to India.

  Another Muslim inmate had a master of science degree in radio-engineering and considered himself a cut above the others. He used to spend his days strolling in a secluded corner of the garden. Suddenly a change came over him. He took off all his clothes and handed them over to the head constable. He resumed the peripatations without a stitch of clothing on his person.

  And there was yet another lunatic, a fat Mussulman who had been a leader of the Muslim League in Chiniot. He was given to bathing fifteen to sixteen times during the day. He suddenly gave it up altogether.

  The name of this fat Mussulman was Mohammed Ali. But one day he proclaimed from his cell that he was Mohammed Ali Jinnah. Not to be outdone, his cell-mate who was a Sikh proclaimed himself to be Master Tara Singh. The two began to abuse each other. They were declared ‘dangerous’ and put in separate cages.

  There was a young Hindu lawyer from Lahore. He was said to have become unhinged when his lady-love jilted him. When he heard that Amritsar had gone to India, he was very depressed: his sweetheart lived in Amritsar. Although the girl had spurned his affection, he did not forget her even in his lunacy. He spent his time cursing all leaders, Hindu as well as Muslim, because they had split India into two, and made his beloved an Indian and him a Pakistani.

  When the talk of exchanging lunatics was in the air, other inmates consoled the Hindu lawyer with the hope that he would soon be sent to India—the country where his sweetheart lived. But the lawyer refused to be reassured. He did not want to leave Lahore because he was convinced that he would not be able to set up legal practice in Amritsar.

  There were a couple of Anglo-Indians in the European ward. They were very saddened to learn that the English had liberated India and returned home. They met secretly to deliberate on problems of their future status in the asylum: would the asylum continue to have a separate ward for Europeans? Would they be served breakfast as before? Would they be deprived of toast and be forced to eat chappaties?

  Then there was a Sikh who had been in the asylum for fifteen years. And in the fifteen years he said little besides the following sentence: ‘O, pardi, good good di, anekas di, bedhyana di, moong di dal of di lantern.’

  The Sikh never slept either at night or in the day. The warders said that they had not known him to blink his eyes in fifteen years. He did not as much as lie down. Only on rare occasions he leant against the wall to rest. His legs were swollen down to the ankles.

  Whenever there was talk of India and Pakistan, or the exchange of lunatics, this Sikh would become very attentive. If anyone invited him to express his views, he would answer with great solemnity, ‘O pardi, good good di, anekas di, bedhyana di, moong di dal of di Pakistan government.’

  Some time later he changed the end of his litany from ‘of the Pakistan Government’ to ‘of the Toba Tek Singh government’.

  He began to question his fellow-inmates whether the village of Toba Tek Singh was in India or Pakistan. No one knew the answer. Those who tried, got tied up in knots when explaining how Sialkot was at first in India and was now in Pakistan. How could one guarantee that a similar fate would not befall Lahore and from being Pakistani today it would not become Indian tomorrow? For that matter how could one be sure that the whole of India would not become a part of Pakistan? All said and done, who could put his hand on his heart and say with conviction that there was no danger of both India and Pakistan vanishing from the face of the globe one day!

  The Sikh had lost most of his long hair. Since he seldom took a bath, the hair of the head had matted and joined with his beard. This gave the Sikh a very fierce look. But he was a harmless fellow. In the fifteen years he had been in the asylum, he had never been known to argue or quarrel with anyone. All that the older inmates knew about him was that he owned land in village Toba Tek Singh and was a prosperous farmer. When he lost his mind, his relatives had brought him to the asylum in iron fetters. Once in the month, some relatives came to Lahore to find out how he was faring. With the eruption of Indo-Pakistan troubles their visits had ceased.

  The Sikh’s name was Bishen Singh but everyone called him Toba Tek Singh. Bishen Singh had no concept of time—neither of days, nor weeks, nor of months. He had no idea how long he had been in the lunatic asylum. But when his relatives and friends came to see him, he knew that a month must have gone by. He would inform the head warder that ‘Miss Interview’ was due to visit him. He would wash himself with great care; he would soap his body and oil his long hair and beard before combing them. He would dress up before he went to meet his visitors. If they asked him any questions, he either remained silent or answered, ‘O pardi, anekas di, bedhyana di, moong di dal of di lantern.’

  Bishen Singh had a daughter who had grown into a full-bosomed lass of fifteen. But he showed no recognition of his child. The girl wept bitterly whenever she met her father.

  When talk of India and Pakistan came up, Bishen Singh began to question other lunatics about the location of Toba Tek Singh. No one could give him a satisfactory answer. His irritation mounted day by day. And now even ‘Miss Interview’ did not come to see him. There was a time when something had told him that his relatives were due. Now that inner voice had been silenced. And he was more anxious than ever to meet his relatives and find out whether Toba Tek Singh was in Ind
ia or Pakistan. But no relatives came. Bishen Singh turned to other sources of information.

  There was a lunatic in the asylum who believed he was God. Bishen Singh asked him whether Toba Tek Singh was in India or Pakistan. As was his wont ‘God’ adopted a grave mien and replied: ‘We have not yet issued our orders on the subject.’

  Bishen Singh got the same answer many times. He pleaded with ‘God’ to issue instructions so that the matter could be settled once and for all. His pleadings were in vain; ‘God’ had many pressing matters awaiting ‘His’ orders. Bishen Singh’s patience ran out and one day he let ‘God’ have a bit of his mind ‘O, pardi, good good di, anekas di, bedhyana di, moong di dal of Wahi-i-Guru Ji Ka Khalsa and Wahi-i-Guru di Fateh! Jo boley so nihal, Sat Sri Akal!’

  This was meant to put ‘God’ in his place as God only of the Mussulmans. Surely if He had been God of the Sikhs, He would have heard the pleadings of a Sikh!

  A few days before the day fixed for the exchange of lunatics, a Muslim from Toba Tek Singh came to visit Bishen Singh. This man had never been to the asylum before. When Bishen Singh saw him he turned away. The warders stopped him: ‘He’s come to see you; he’s your friend, Fazal Din,’ they said.

  Bishen Singh gazed at Fazal Din and began to mumble. Fazal Din put his hand on Bishen Singh’s shoulder. ‘I have been intending to see you for the last many days but could never find the time. All your family have safely crossed over to India. I did the best I could for them. Your daughter, Roop Kaur . . .’

  Fazal Din continued somewhat haltingly ‘Yes . . . she too is well. She went along with the rest.’

  Bishen Singh stood where he was without saying a word. Fazal Din started again. ‘They asked me to keep in touch with you. I am told that you are to leave for India. Convey my salaams to brother Balbir Singh and to brother Wadhawa Singh . . . and also to sister Amrit Kaur . . . tell brother Balbir Singh that Fazal Din is well and happy. Both the grey buffaloes that they left behind have calved—one is a male, the other a female . . . the female died six days later. And if there is anything I can do for them, I am always willing. I have brought you a little sweet corn.’

 

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