"Kian looks a lot younger than her, don't you think? She's obviously spent a lot of time on Photoshop from the photos she sent us." Nicole mused.
"Well, I did some snooping on Facebook and Twitter and it turns out that he's fifteen years younger than her!" Evette said.
"No way!" Nicole exclaimed.
"Yeah, she's forty eight and he's only thirty three! She's divorced with six children, none of whom are his and she's a grandmother for heavens' sake! What on earth does he see in her? He could be going out with a woman in her twenties or thirties without any of that baggage. I mean, they can't even have children together because she's getting too old at her age."
"Why do people judge women so harshly for being with a younger man but it's socially acceptable for an older man to be with a much younger woman? I find the double standard very hypocritical and completely unfair," Nicole argued. "Good for her and I'm sure he loves her children as if they're his own."
"I think it's all about having the right attitude," Evette declared.
"What are you rattling on about now?"Nicole was getting quite exasperated at her sister's hypotheses and sweeping assumptions about other people's lives.
"Amanda, or Mandy, clearly has the right attitude. She sends out a vibe that she is very much in love with herself and that she could have any man she wanted. Men fall for it every time. She's fairly attractive, but there's nothing out of the ordinary about her, yet she still managed to get a man who's more than a decade younger than her! I can't believe he's willing to take on that amount of baggage. He must be a saint."
"Maybe he simply loves her," Nicole interrupted her sister's diatribe."There's no way that he'd be putting up with her and her six children if he wasn't madly in love with her. Love is blind, so they say."
"Yeah, and marriage is an eye-opener," Evette retorted, without missing a beat."Oh God, sorry Nicole, that was insensitive of me."
"Don't worry about it, sis. Anyway, never mind all that. How the hell are we supposed to get a reference from our first client? Our first client was me!" Nicole suddenly turned on her sister.
"Sorry," Evette apologised again, not looking in the least bit sorry. "I improvised, what can I say? I could hardly tell them the truth, could I?"She shrugged her shoulders dismissively.
"Well, let's just hope and pray that we dazzled them enough with our presentation today that they'll forget about asking for a reference again. I dread the embarrassment of having to tell them the truth," Nicole sighed. "Well, sis, we have a lot of work to do. It's time we went home to our office and got cracking on our first client's dream wedding."
Chapter 12
"Surprise!" Nicole almost jumped out of her skin. She'd arrived back to the apartment and was laden down with grocery bags. Evette was supposed to be working until late that night and they'd planned to meet up in town after her modelling class for a few celebratory birthday drinks.
She'd spent a very pleasant afternoon wandering around the shops and treating herself to some luxury goodies and she'd expected to have the whole apartment to herself for most of the evening.
"Happy birthday, sis!" Evette immediately pounced on her sister and handed her a large glass of white wine.
"What are you all doing here?" Nicole glanced around the little group of smiling faces and tried to force a smile. She really didn't like surprises of any kind, especially when she wasn't dressed for the occasion.
"You didn't honestly think that I'd leave you to celebrate your birthday all by yourself, now did you?" Evette seemed quite horrified at the thought.
"You shouldn't have," Nicole stammered.
"You're welcome." Evette mistakenly assumed that her sister was overcome by emotion at her thoughtfulness.
"Let me take your bags," Ben disentangled himself from the group and picked up her shopping.
He carried it through to the kitchen.
Evette had completely outdone herself. The entire apartment looked like a children's birthday party. There were balloons and streamers hanging from the ceiling and lots of sparkly crackers strewn across the seats.
She'd put together a delicious feast in the kitchen and the tables and counters were laden down with cakes, sweets, biscuits, chocolate, finger food and of course, lots of alcohol. Jack had clearly made himself the designated bar man for the evening and was already busy refilling people's glasses.
Sarah and Olivia had escaped outside to the balcony and were puffing away on their cigarettes. Nicole longed to join them.
"Happy birthday, darling," Imelda, the sisters' mother kissed her daughter in greeting.
"Thanks, mom."
"Happy birthday, stranger," their father said reproachfully. He shook Nicole's hand firmly as he didn't like public displays of affection."It's been too long since we last saw you."
"I know and I'm sorry, dad," Nicole replied shamefully.
"I've been hiding out at Ev's since the whole wedding disaster."
"We gathered that, darling," Imelda gently patted her daughter's arm."I tried calling you on numerous occasions but you never returned any of them. I was about to telephone the police and send out a search party for you when Evie called to let us know that you were staying with her for the foreseeable future. She said it was best to give you some space and that you'd be in touch when you'd recovered."
"I'm sorry, mom. I've been very thoughtless. I should have called you, I know."
"We understand, dear," her father interjected. "It's been a very difficult time for everyone."
Nicole bristled at his tone. "What do you mean by "everyone", dad?" she asked.
Ev glared meaningfully at her to just let it go, but Nicole couldn't, not this time. Their father always spoke his mind, regardless of the consequences or the hurt he might cause to other people's feelings. She decided then and there that it was about time that she spoke her mind too.
"Pardon?" her father looked at her in surprise. He was taken aback by her temerity at questioning him so forcefully and he didn't appreciate her challenging tone.
"Come along, John, darling. Let's have some sushi. I've never tried it and it looks delicious.” Imelda tried valiantly to distract her husband. She could feel his temper rising and she didn't want her daughter's birthday to be ruined by a heated exchange of words with her father.
"No mom. I really want to know what dad means," Nicole insisted.
"You're not the only one who's been affected by your wedding disaster. Your mother and I are heartbroken that you and Paul broke up," John continued. His soft, lilting Kerry accent broke for a moment as if he was overcome with emotion. "I mean, we've lost a son-in-law and we never see you anymore. We miss you. I miss you."
Nicole relented when she saw the sadness and loneliness in her father's eyes."Dad, you do know that he cheated on me, don't you? How could I possibly forgive him for that?"
"Oh, darling, how very young you are," her father looked at her kindly.
Nicole felt her temper beginning to rise at what she perceived to be his patronising tone, but she took a deep breath and decided to listen to what he had to say.
"I think that Paul not marrying you and revealing his indiscretions at the altar, on your wedding day, was absolutely despicable, but not unforgiveable," he explained slowly, as if he was measuring his words.
Evette and her mother groaned and decided to retreat further into the kitchen to avoid the impending argument which they were sure was about to erupt at any minute.
"How can you say that to me?" Nicole cried. "Are you on Paul's side?"
"Of course I'm not on Paul's side," her father insisted. "I'm not on anyone's side. There are no sides in this whole sorry affair."
"No pun intended," Nicole interrupted sarcastically.
John chose to ignore her sarcasm and continued. "You two built a wonderful life together," he continued. "You had your entire lives ahead of you and your relationship is finished because of one silly indiscretion."
"I'd hardly describe it as an indiscretion, dad. He
ruined my life."
"I know he's sorry and I know for an absolute fact that he still loves you and would do anything to turn back time."
"How the hell do you know what Paul is thinking or feeling?" Nicole asked.
Her father looked uncomfortable. "I have to confess that he's been spending rather a lot of time with your mother and me since the wedding."
"Hmm, I always thought you preferred him to me. Even now, you're making me feel like I'm the one who did something wrong!"
"Nicole, you're being ridiculous!"
"I'm not being remotely ridiculous! Have you spared a second to think about how I'm feeling? Paul completely humiliated me. It was supposed to be the best day of my life and instead it's the worst. You can't even imagine what I went through, what I'm still going through!"
"Nicole, can you stop being so melodramatic for just a moment and try to listen to what I'm trying to say to you."
"Fine." Nicole looked like a petulant child and it was all that her father could do to restrain a smile.
John took his daughter's hand. "Darling, you must believe that I have your best interests at heart. I understand that this is a very personal issue between you and Paul. Nobody knows what goes on between two people behind closed doors, but I truly believe that you and Paul are perfect for each. You're my daughter and I love you, darling. I just want you to be happy."
Nicole relented slightly at the evident kindness and love in her father's voice. "I know dad, I love you too."
"Do you trust me?" he asked.
"I always trust you, one hundred per cent."
"I don't want you to look back at this time in years to come and regret not having tried to salvage your relationship. Is there truly no hope left for you and Paul?"
"I don't know, dad," Nicole said uncertainly. An unexpected tear rolled down her cheek and her father gently wiped it away.
"Does any part of you still love him?"
Nicole didn't want to answer the question. She didn't want to face the reality of her feelings for Paul. She wasn't ready yet. She was still numb to the true extent of what had happened to her. She missed him and was scared to face the full reality of life without him.
"Nicole?" he prompted. "It's a yes or no answer, sweetheart."
She hesitated for a moment before responding. John studied his daughter's worried face and sincerely wished that he could take away the pain he saw etched there. She usually had such a sunny personality that he couldn't help a pang of worry at her more demure demeanour now. Her mouth was uncharacteristically turned down at the corners and she had dark circles under her eyes which she'd tried to conceal with makeup, but her father could still see the hurt and pain in her face.
He'd done a lot of soul-searching before he came to the decision to tell his daughter about Paul. He'd been as shocked as everyone else at Paul's uncharacteristic behaviour. John had welcomed Paul into the bosom of his family and had very much been looking forward to him becoming his son-in-law. He saw him as the son he'd never had and had been overjoyed when he and Nicole had become engaged.
He was devastated at what had been revealed at the church on that fateful September day and it had taken numerous efforts on Paul's part before John would even consider speaking to him. Eventually, he'd relented, more because of his wife's persistent nagging than anything else but now he truly believed in his heart of hearts that Paul deeply regretted what he'd done to Nicole.
John Baxter was a very traditional man. He knew he'd been blessed in his marriage and had never wanted or loved any other woman except his beloved wife. He'd listened to Paul's pleas for forgiveness and as much as he hadn't wanted to accept his apologies, part of him could understand what he'd done.
John didn't believe in easily throwing away relationships. He and Imelda had had their ups and downs throughout the many happy years of their lives together, but they'd worked out their problems together. He believed with all his heart and soul that Nicole and Paul were perfect for each other.He truly hoped and prayed that his daughter could find it in her heart to forgive Paul as he knew that their relationship could still be salvaged.
"Nicole, darling, do you still love Paul? Yes or no," he earnestly asked his daughter.
"Yes," Nicole whispered.
"Then I think you should try to work things out with him."
"Oh, dad, do you really think so?"
John was surprised to see a faint glimmer of hope in his daughter's eyes. Some part of her was relieved that her father had voiced aloud the thoughts that had been turning over in her head. She hadn't dared to admit her feelings, not even to herself.
Part of her had wondered if she and Paul could work things out, if there still might be a chance for them. The other part of her felt that she would be letting herself down by trying again with Paul.
"Yes, darling, really, I swear to you that Paul loves you and is deeply sorry for what he's done to you. I can arrange for you two to meet, if you'd like?" he suggested hopefully.
"I don't know, dad. What am I supposed to do; pretend that none of this ever happened? I feel scared. I'm nervous about opening my heart to him again. He hurt me so much. I don't know if I can ever forgive him. I want to forgive him, but I don't know if I can."
"Your mother and I will help you to get through this, darling, in whatever way we can. All you have to do is ask. I'm not denying that you two don't have a tough road ahead of you. You'll both have a lot of soul-searching to do and it won't be easy, but I know you have a strong spirit and you'll get through this."
Nicole clenched her jaw. She'd spent so long being angry that it was difficult to readjust her thinking and her feelings. "I appreciate everything you're saying, dad, I really do. Part of me wants to try to work it out with Paul but there's still a huge part of me that is very hurt and raw. How could Paul truly love me when he was capable of hurting me like this? How do I know that he won't hurt me again?"
"You don't know darling, nobody knows. There are no guarantees in this life but isn't it worth trying anyway? Isn't it worth fighting for?"
"I'm afraid, dad, for the first time in a very long time, I'm truly afraid."
"Will you at least try, darling? If there's even a glimmer of hope for you two to salvage your relationship then I truly believe that you should try."
"Maybe," Nicole replied in a small voice.
Chapter 13
The bright late autumn sunshine woke Nicole from her deep sleep. She yawned and snuggled further under the covers for a few more minutes.
A quick glance at her bedside clock told her that it was half past eleven. She didn't care how late it was. This was the best night's sleep she'd had in months. She'd slept straight through the night for the first time in a very long time.
It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She replayed the conversation with her father in her mind and was grateful that he had allowed her to see that it was ok to want to try again with Paul. She hadn't realised how much she'd wanted to at least give their relationship one more try. She'd been so angry and hurt that she hadn't been able to think clearly.
She believed her father when he'd told her that Paul was truly sorry for what he'd done to her. She recalled how he'd looked that day in their apartment when she'd gone to collect her possessions. He'd seemed broken; like his usual bravado and self-confidence had been completely eroded. Even then, there was a part of her that had wanted to run to him and tell him that everything would be fine, but the hurt and angry part of her hadn't allowed her.
She knew that if there was any hope of rescuing their relationship that there had to be changes. She couldn't just tell him that all was forgiven and let everything carry on as normal, like she usually did when they'd had an argument. Their relationship could never be what it had once been before. He had broken her trust but she wanted to try to find some way to forgive him.
She hoped that in time they would be able to rebuild their relationship and start again. She knew that she had to be more assertive,
less passive and less eager to please him. He had to make more of an effort now. It was up to him to prove himself to her, to show her how much he loved her and that he truly wanted them to be together forever.
She felt like she was slowly coming out of mourning the death of her old relationship with Paul. Many of the ideals and beliefs that she had held so dear were dead, along with the trust that she had so implicitly assumed they'd shared.
She'd had time to process her emotions, to grieve, even to recover a little. Her rage and anger had dissipated. She felt raw and exposed which were alien concepts to her. She'd always been so controlled, so black and white, and it had been a serious shock to her system to have her entire world annihilated.
"Good afternoon, sleepy head," Evette teased her sister.
It was lunch time before Nicole finally decided to force herself out of her cosy cocoon. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stretched luxuriously. "That was the best sleep I've had in a long time."
"Good. I'm glad. Would you like some lunch, or should I say brunch, before I love you and leave you?"
"Brunch would be lovely, thanks sis and thank you so much for the wonderful surprise party last night."
"Did you really enjoy yourself? You looked like you were about to collapse when everyone pounced on you!"
"Of course I did. I just got a shock, initially, that's all. It was very thoughtful of you."
"I thought you and dad were going to have a shouting match at one point," Evette said.
"You know what he's like," Nicole replied vaguely. "He doesn't exactly hold back with his opinions."
"Yeah, mom and I retreated to the kitchen, but you two seemed to be getting on very well for the rest of the evening. You spent ages talking to each other. What you were discussing?"
"Oh, I was telling him about our new business and the plans we had for it. I told him about our clients and our first meeting. He said he'd be happy to help us with the accounting side of the business if we need him." Nicole quickly diverted the subject away from what they'd mostly been talking about. She didn't want to tell her sister that she wanted to give Paul another chance. She knew Evette would be absolutely against the idea and would think her weak for even considering trying again.
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