by Sarah Price
Of course, all of that was a moot point now. Their family situation would never even approach normal again, not now. So there was no sense in acting like she could consider accepting Verna’s invitation. Kate knew that Daed would need her help with chores, even if it rained. Running a farm required a lot of work and many hands to complete it. Even when David had been strong and capable, Kate would have been asked to labor alongside them. Now that it was just her and Daed, Kate had no idea what to expect besides endless days of hard work and nights of restless sleep. While she dreaded the former, she eagerly anticipated the latter.
“Good to see you, Verna,” she said, her voice barely audible. “You be sure to send my best to your family, ja?”
Verna nodded. “And don’t forget about the Sunday singing, Kate. Might do you some good to get back to socializing a bit, ja?” Verna did not wait for a response. Instead, she waved her hand and began walking down the driveway toward the road.
With a forlorn feeling in her heart, Kate watched as Verna disappeared. She hadn’t realized how much she missed her friends until just now. For months, her focus on the family had outweighed anything else. Time for socializing simply ceased to exist.
During those initial days after the accident, David’s recovery took all of Maem’s energy and Kate had felt compelled to step in, helping with both the housework and the barn chores while her maem stayed at the hospital with her son. When David finally returned home, Maem managed to keep up with the housework so that Kate could spend more time in the barn helping Daed. However, Kate saw the toll that it took on Miriam as well as Maem, so she had done her best to do as much as she could to eliminate stress by taking on more work.
It was exhausting.
Only, she hadn’t realized how exhausting it truly was until this very moment. By sacrificing everything in order to help at home, she had lost out on much more than she’d realized. As she picked up the hoe and returned her attention to the garden, she reminded herself that she was not the only one making a sacrifice. Everyone in the family had made concessions in their lives to accommodate David’s disability. Of course, she thought as she uprooted a large stick, Ruth had made the ultimate sacrifice.
CHAPTER FOUR
“After you finish at Susan’s, I need you to go to the Esh farm,” Maem told her before Kate headed out the door.
Kate stopped and stared at her mother in surprise. “Whatever for?” She hoped her question didn’t sound sassy. It wasn’t like her to question her maem. Despite the Esh farm only being two farms away from Susan’s, walking there and back would take at least forty-five minutes. “It’s awful far, Maem.”
“Take the scooter with the basket, then.” Maem’s arms were covered in flour as she kneaded the bread for the next two days’ meals. With tomorrow being Sunday, there would be no baking permitted. “She has my Tupperware and I need it for service tomorrow. Promised to bring cupcakes for the kinner.”
Inwardly, Kate groaned. All that way for Tupperware? And using the kick scooter? It wasn’t as if Maem didn’t have other containers to carry baked goods to worship service.
“And she’ll send you home with roots for the garden. I want to get those planted this afternoon when you return.”
Ah, Kate thought. The real reason.
Maem had a knack for gardening, especially when it came to perennials. Neighbors often thought of her when their perennial vegetables sprouted too much and they divided them to share with others. Kate wasn’t sure why, but when it came to extras, Maem was always first in line. She could walk through her perennial garden, the one that was closer to the house than the larger one under the oak tree, and point out who had donated what to her collection. Her pride showed when she shared the tales of the people who gave her starter roots for asparagus, rhubarb, kale, and leeks. And she always pointed out her cherished black-eyed Susans and wild mint tea plants.
There would be no talking Maem out of the journey now, Kate reasoned.
Upon arriving at Susan’s, Kate immediately felt a weight lift from her shoulders. The airy house, so different than Maem and Daed’s older farmhouse, welcomed her. The back wall of the kitchen held large windows, letting in the light so that it flooded the white linoleum floor with rays of bright sun. Since the house was more contemporary, the rooms were bigger and the ceilings a touch higher. The ambiance warmed her heart and made her feel refreshed.
“Susan?” she called out, her eyes immediately falling on the plates in the sink. Without waiting for direction, she began to tackle that task. Best to get started, she told herself.
A few minutes later, she heard her aendi’s footsteps on the stairs. Ruth Ann gurgled in Susan’s arms, while Kate quickly dried her hands on a towel and reached out for the baby.
“Sorry ’bout the dishes,” Susan mumbled. “Tough night last one.”
“Ja?”
Susan nodded. “The boppli kept me up. Teething, I think.”
Kate nuzzled at the baby’s neck, smiling when Ruth Ann cooed in her ear. “She’s such an angel,” Kate replied. “I can’t imagine she could be anything less.”
“If you don’t mind watching her, I’ll head out to help Timothy. He’s out readying the fields for planting.”
“Bit early for planting, ja?”
Susan shrugged. Timothy wasn’t originally from Lancaster County. His family had been living in Indiana when he was born. When his grandfather died, the family farm was left to one of his older brothers. Luckily, an uncle of Timothy’s, who only had daughters, asked him to move to Pennsylvania to help on his farm.
In a day and age of not enough farmland, Timothy had happily accepted the offer. When his uncle had passed away, he’d been more than willing to purchase it. However, the word on the Amish grapevine was that the purchase price was higher than Timothy expected. As a result, he held a big bank note, which meant long days in the fields praying for good crops to pay it off. No one liked having debt, especially Timothy and Susan.
It often made Kate wonder what Daed would do with the farm as he got older. With her elder bruder, Thomas, already settled on his own farm and David clearly unable to take on the responsibility to manage the property, Daed would have to sell it eventually.
If the farm was sold, they would lose their life right to stay there until they died. And who knew what would become of them then? They’d be dependent on their son-in-laws, whoever they turned out to be—with Becca and Miriam still so young, and Kate still unattached, it was anyone’s guess what sort of husbands they’d secure. And the son-in-laws would not just have to care for them as they aged, but also for David, whose disability was never going to disappear. It was a burden that neither Maem nor Daed wanted to face.
Of course, the prospect of selling the farm was many years in the future. Becca would need to be settled down before such a thing happened. And there was always the chance that one of the girls might marry an aspiring farmer without a farm, although such situations were few and far between these days. Young men and boys were groomed to take over their family farm; the rest learned a trade. Unmarried, farmless farmers were not an easy-to-find commodity in their area. And the right young man would need to do more than just take on their farm—he’d have to be willing to take on two aging parents and a disabled brother as well.
For the rest of the morning, Kate split her time between tending to Ruth Ann’s needs and cleaning the kitchen. She made certain to scrub the floor, getting even the corners, which seemed to have gathered extra dust bunnies since she had last visited. Then, she hurried upstairs to grab the dirty clothing from the baby’s room. She washed the tiny items by hand and set them to dry in the sun. By the time the afternoon sun began to dip in the sky, Kate had the downstairs of the house in order, Ruth Ann’s clean clothes were hanging from small hangers on pegs in her room, and a warm meal was waiting in the oven for Susan and Timothy.
The look of appreciation on Susan’s
tired and dirty face said it all. “Back field is ready for seeding,” she announced when she walked into the kitchen, heading directly to the sink to wash her hands and face. She took the proffered towel from Kate and rubbed it against the back of her neck. “One of the mules broke the harness, though. Timothy went to Yonie’s shop to see if he might fix it yet.”
Kate exhaled, knowing that, if they couldn’t get it fixed, they would not be able to plant the field on Monday. Always something, she thought as she put on her shoes, getting ready for the long scooter ride to the Esh farm.
She took the back roads, thankful that she wouldn’t have to pass the broken buggy on the way. For that, she was grateful. For some reason, passing it on the way down the hill didn’t bother her half as much as it did on her return trip. There was something about walking that same road in the same direction that caused Kate enormous grief. Avoiding it today meant a lot to her.
“Why, Kate Zook!” Mary smiled as she opened the screen door, the hinges creaking just a little. “Your maem mentioned you’d be stopping by. That’s an awful long walk from your house!” She peered over Kate’s shoulder and clicked her tongue. “Mayhaps my Samuel can take you back, then!”
Kate felt her heart flutter at the mention of Samuel. She wasn’t certain why. “Nee, nee,” she tried to reassure his maem. “I have my scooter. Didn’t take much time at all.” The last thing she wanted was for Samuel Esh to be bothered into harnessing his horse to take her home.
“Oh nonsense!” Mary took ahold of her arm and pulled her inside the house. “Kum esse! I have some freshly baked cookies. You can taste test them before the kinner devour them!”
Within seconds, Kate found herself seated on the family bench at the kitchen table, a plate of warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies in front of her, and Mary Esh chattering away as if they were long-lost friends. A large woman with a round belly, Mary was known throughout the g’may for her effervescent personality. Always happy and laughing, Mary looked at the bright side in every situation.
“I heard your daed started his spring planting already!”
Kate shook her head. “Nee, not yet. Another week, I reckon.”
She clicked her tongue. Tsk-tsk. “Not even the middle of April! Why, he’s getting a jump start on all of us!” She laughed. “He’ll be sitting under an oak tree drinking meadow tea while the rest of us are playing catch-up!”
Kate smiled as a way of response. She had never seen her daed sitting under any tree drinking anything! The visual almost made her laugh.
“How’s your maem doing, anyway? Haven’t seen her much since . . .” Mary let her voice trail off, the words unspoken.
“Maem’s strong,” Kate heard herself say. “She’s doing well.”
“Oh help!” Mary hurried to the oven and pulled down the door. The delicious smell of more cookies floated throughout the room. “I almost burnt them! My word!” The diversion helped to change the subject as Mary quickly reached inside, using a triple-folded towel as a pot holder to remove the metal sheet covered with cookies. “Just in time!”
“I shouldn’t be distracting you,” Kate said, starting to rise from the bench.
“Nonsense, Kate! I’m just getting addle brained as I age.” She set the cookie sheet on the wooden counter. “Happens to the best of us, I reckon.”
The hinge of the screen door squeaked, announcing the arrival of someone else. Kate lowered her eyes, wondering who it was and dreading having to socialize more than she already had. Mary Esh had eleven kinner, Samuel falling somewhere in the middle, so that meant there were plenty of children still living at home. She hoped it was one of the younger ones.
“Who’s here, Maem?”
As luck had it, Joshua peeked around the corner. Roughly the same age as Becca, Joshua was a good foot taller than her younger sister but had the same gleam in his eye. Kate gathered from the stories she heard about his antics at the school yard that he shared her fiery temperament.
“Why, Kate Zook!” He answered his own question as he sauntered into the kitchen, his fingers hooked around his suspenders and a grin on his face. “Ain’t seen you about since the accident!” He ignored the stern look Mary tossed in his direction. “What brings you a-calling?”
“Never you mind,” Mary said, trying to chase him away. “Go run down the basement stairs and fetch me that Tupperware with her maem’s name on it.” He gave his maem a pleading look, obviously wanting to linger longer to talk with Kate. “Go on now! Get!”
Disappointed, he scampered across the floor, like a puppy with his tail between his legs, and disappeared down the wooden stairs.
“That boy!” Mary shook her head, tsking her tongue three times. “He’s so much like his older bruder! Worries me, that! Gonna travel and give me a plain ole heart attack, I know it!”
Kate knew better than to ask which brother she referenced. Certainly, Mary meant Samuel. While he had other brothers, none of them had decided to explore the world of the Englische.
Sighing, Mary turned back to Kate. “Sure am sorry that the girls aren’t here to visit. Sadie and Katie are at market in Maryland, although they are a bit younger than you, ja?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “And the other boys are out in the field, I’m sure. Although they wouldn’t have much of interest to say.” She laughed at her own comment. “Fields, crops, barns, and buggies. That’s about the extent of it!”
The loud thumping of bare feet on the wooden steps announced Joshua’s return. He grinned at Kate as he handed the Tupperware to his maem and slid into a seat across from their visitor. Without moving his eyes, he reached out, snatched a cookie, and popped it into his mouth.
“You staying for supper, then?”
“Joshua! Go find your bruder! Need him to harness the buggy to take Kate home.” Mary placed her hands on his shoulders and redirected him out of his seat. “And I see those cookie crumbs on your lips. That’s one less for you after dinner, you little rascal!”
“Aw, Maem!”
Kate suppressed a smile as Mary shooed him out the door.
“That boy!” Mary shook her head. “Maybe a little exposure to the world might do him some good after all.” She glanced out the window. “Did a whole lot of good for Samuel, that’s for sure and certain.”
If Kate wanted to ask what Mary meant by that, she didn’t. Prying was not something she was prone to do. But Mary’s comment piqued her curiosity. In his younger years, Samuel might have been bitten by the wanderlust bug, but he had sure hightailed it home and walked the straight and narrow ever since. She certainly couldn’t recall him acting anything like his outspoken younger brother, Joshua.
“I best get going, then,” Kate said, breaking the silence. “Maem will need help with supper.”
“You just stay right there a spell.” Mary leaned out the window and called for Samuel to hurry up. “He’s harnessing the mare to take you home. It’ll be faster.”
Hating to feel like a burden, Kate ran her fingers nervously along the waist of her apron as if smoothing out wrinkles, although none were there. If only Samuel had been out in the fields. If only Maem had sent Miriam. If only . . .
A little voice inside of her head reprimanded her: Don’t live on what-ifs!
Five minutes later, Kate sensed someone watching her. The back of her neck felt warm and she turned around, startled to see Samuel standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his hands in his pockets. His eyes, such a deep, dark blue, looked directly into hers. The expression on his face was thoughtful.
“Someone in need of a ride home, then?”
She felt color flood to her cheeks. “I have my scooter. I don’t need a ride, but . . .” She couldn’t finish the sentence and lowered her eyes.
“Nonsense, Kate!” Mary turned to face her son. “Just as easy for you to take her home, ain’t so? ’Sides, you can swing by the Millers’ farm for me, can’
t you now? Pick up some eggs. We’re almost out and won’t make it to Monday.”
He nodded his head, his gaze still on Kate. “Will do, Maem.” He paused, just for a moment, before a slight smile crossed his lips. “Ready then, Kate?” Without waiting for a response, he shifted his body toward the door and took a step away from the kitchen. “Let’s go.”
Quietly, she stood up and made her way to the door, stopping only to pick up the Tupperware and to thank Mary Esh for the cookies. Then, with downcast eyes, Kate hurried after Samuel who walked across the yard slowly, as if waiting for her to catch up to him.
In silence, they walked side by side to the buggy, Kate keeping her distance from him and wishing that she could have just ridden home on her scooter. Leaning against the wall, it looked inviting. However, Mary also needed eggs, so the trip was not a complete waste of Samuel’s time.
As if reading her mind, Samuel gestured toward the buggy, indicating that she should get in as he set the small box of roots on the backseat. “I’ll fetch your scooter, Kate.” Obediently, she did as he instructed and climbed into the buggy, setting the Tupperware on the seat beside her.
“There now,” he said when he set the scooter in the back of the buggy, leaving the plastic window rolled up so that a fresh breeze could keep them cool. He took a deep breath, walked around to the driver’s side, and in a quick motion, jumped inside and sat beside her. She noticed that he moved the Tupperware onto the floor, pushing it just enough under the seat so that they wouldn’t kick it.
“You mind if I stop at Millers’ farm first, Kate?”
She glanced at him, surprised to see him waiting in anticipation of her answer. Shaking her head, she looked away. “That’s fine, I reckon.” She wasn’t certain why he wanted to do that. The Miller farm was just past her daed’s farm. It would have been easier to drop her off first, but she wasn’t about to say that.