by Sarah Price
He tugged at the collar of his white shirt. “I was thinking about stopping in town for some ice cream. You don’t mind now, do you?”
“Ice cream?” She tried not to laugh. “In April?”
He grinned, “You never did answer me when I stopped by this week to ask about going into town. I reckon I’m just presuming that your silence could just as likely mean yes as it could mean no.”
His flawless logic made her laugh. “That is one way to look at it.”
“Besides, you look like a girl . . . a young woman,” he corrected himself, “that could use a spin into town and a nice ice cream. While I’m not a betting kind of man, I reckon I’m not too far off the mark that you, Kate Zook, are someone who deserves some nice things from time to time. So,” he said, turning to stare at her. “What do you say, Kate? Would you ride into town with me for that ice cream?”
Kate suddenly understood what he meant by his question. Her cheeks colored and she looked out the window for a moment, a smile on her lips even though she tried to hide it. She had suspected his intentions when he insisted on walking her home from the singing. She further grasped his purpose after he’d taken her on the fishing excursion, asking her daed and not her directly. Now, he was informally asking her a question that, depending on her answer, could change her future.
“Well?”
She bit her lower lip, listening to the words in her head that conflicted with the pounding of her heart. For too long, she seemed to follow her common sense and not her instinct. This time, she told herself, she would do no such thing.
Lifting her head, she stared at him, letting her eyes meet his as she said, “I think ice cream sounds like a wunderbar gut idea, Samuel Esh.”
He smiled, nodding his head once in acknowledgment of what was said without words. They rode the rest of the way into town in silence, a calm sense of serenity in the buggy.
CHAPTER TEN
She caught him staring at her while the bishop preached. Daniel and Jane King, the family holding the worship service that week, sat in the front row next to the other preachers and their wives, the men facing the women. She’d looked up because she suddenly felt the sensation that she was being watched. It only took a few seconds to notice Samuel staring directly at her. He was sitting amid the other young unmarried men and smiled, just slightly, when their eyes met.
She blushed and looked away.
Verna sat on one side of her while Hannah sat on the other. Both young women sat still as statues, having been taught from a young age to never fidget in church. Kate, however, found it hard to sit still and listen to the bishop. His voice droned on and on, and the warmth of the room made her feel sleepy. However, once she realized that she was under scrutiny, any drowsiness she felt disappeared.
The previous day’s trip to town for ice cream hadn’t taken longer than an hour. For most of the way there, they hadn’t spoken. After Samuel paid the cashier, they’d sat on a bench outside of the ice cream parlor. It seemed easier to talk to him when they were not confined to the buggy. Slowly, she began to feel more at ease in his presence and felt comfortable enough to smile when he teasingly pointed out that ice cream had dripped onto her chin.
“Oh bother!” She wiped at it with the back of her hand.
He laughed at her. “That didn’t make it any better. Here, let me do it.” Without waiting for permission, he brushed his finger across her chin, his gentle touch sending a wave of tingles down her spine. “There! Now you are ice cream free.”
On the ride home, conversation flowed even more easily. Samuel did most of the talking, telling her stories about his travels across the country during his rumschpringe. She listened intently, occasionally asking him questions, especially when he talked about New York City.
“Those buildings are so tall, Kate! Why, you can scarce find a tree anywhere, except in Central Park!”
“I can’t imagine it!” she had replied. “No trees? Who would ever want to live like that?”
Samuel shook his head. “And when I went to Los Angeles, it was even worse. Just roads and cars and buildings. Concrete everywhere!”
“Oh my!”
He nodded. “But don’t get me wrong, Kate. There were beautiful places along the way. We stopped to camp in the Grand Canyon. That was a sight you just cannot describe. The power of God’s creation is truly stunning. It’s important to appreciate it.” He paused, as if a thought struck him. “I reckon even the cities have beauty in them. I liked some of the architecture.”
She frowned and tilted her head, unfamiliar with the word he was using.
“The building design.” He smiled as he explained. “Some of the buildings are simply breathtaking . . . a true testament to man’s ability to create something from God’s materials, the simple things that He created on earth, and transform it into something even more beautiful.”
“Even if there are no trees?”
He laughed. “Even if there are no trees.”
Kate shook her head. “Well, that’s not for me.” She licked her ice cream cone. “I’m perfectly happy here. I don’t need to go see big buildings or concrete playgrounds, although I do confess I imagine the Grand Canyon is breathtaking.”
“So no wild rumschpringe, Kate Zook?”
She laughed at his gentle teasing. “Nee, Samuel.”
“Just an ice cream on a Saturday afternoon?”
She tried to hide her smile, knowing full well that her cheeks turned pink. “That’ll have to do, I reckon,” she managed to say.
“Can’t say I’m unhappy knowing that, Kate,” he had replied. “If this is as wild as you get, you sure do seem to have your priorities straight.”
Now, sitting on the hard bench at worship service, she turned those words over in her mind once again. Did he really feel that way about her? That she had her priorities straight? The night before, she’d tossed and turned, worried that when he found out the truth, he would be disappointed. He would learn that nothing could be further from the truth. Certainly, her priorities had not been straight back in December. And it wasn’t the first time. Would he think she was deceptive?
She looked down at her hands in her lap, fighting the urge to once again raise her head and meet his gaze. She wondered about his rumschpringe. Why had he felt compelled to travel and see the world? What had made him unhappy in Lancaster County? Had he been seeking something out in the world of the Englische only to find that they had nothing to offer?
When he’d left on his rumschpringe, tongues wagged about that Esh boy, leaving his family farm and only sending postcards home as a way of communicating. Yet his parents hadn’t seemed to mind his desire to travel; they even expressed confidence that he would return home. And when he did, he returned a man. That was almost three years ago now.
From what Kate knew, for the first two years back, he’d focused on the farm and his friends. And then he began courting Ella. Kate hadn’t given much thought about Samuel Esh, really. She’d figured he was destined to marry Ella. After all, courtship was not about casually dating, but about moving toward that holy union.
Personally, she couldn’t imagine leaving home to travel so far away. She thought she recalled that Samuel traveled with a cousin from Ohio, but she wasn’t exactly certain. Samuel hadn’t mentioned his travel companions by name, just using the generic “we.” Still, Kate figured that it must have been lonely, away from family and friends.
She felt Verna nudge her.
“Kneel, silly,” she whispered to Kate.
Quickly, Kate slid off the bench and turned around, kneeling with her face in her hands. She prayed for the strength to accept her weaknesses and sins. She prayed that she might make better decisions as she strove to honor the Ordnung. And she prayed for David and her parents, wishing that God’s will might help them deal with his disability in a more positive way.
“What were you
thinking about during service, Kate?”
She was helping to set the table when Verna asked her that question. Jane Yoder had directed the younger women to tend to that job while the other older women began dishing out the plates of food. Shrugging her shoulders, Kate didn’t answer.
“Could it be that you’re a bit ferhoodled?”
“Verna!” But the color rose to Kate’s cheeks, giving away her answer.
“I wondered that.” Verna leaned closer and whispered. “I’m glad.”
Courtship was a private matter, not something that people tended to openly share. It was better that way, just in case the couple decided to part company. No questions needed to be asked or answered. However, Samuel certainly didn’t seem to be hiding his interest in Kate. Now she knew that others had noticed that, too.
She wondered what others thought, and wished that she could ask Verna. But Kate didn’t want to be seen as acting proud, and since Ella seemed to have lingering feelings toward him, it didn’t seem right to bring it up.
After the first seating, Kate quickly helped to clear the plates and reset the table. As always, it was simple fare for the Sunday dinner: sliced bread, applesauce, cold cuts, cup cheese, pretzels, and pickles. Miriam and Becca had eaten already and left with Daed to return home.
“Sure was fun fishing last week.”
It took a moment for Kate to realize that Sylvia was speaking to her. Kate had shied away from socializing for such a long time that it didn’t come naturally. Usually she avoided sitting with the younger women or ate quickly so that she could help with the cleanup.
She smiled and tried to come up with a polite reply. “Ja, and the weather has been holding up nicely, too. Daffodils and forsythia are blooming right nice,” she said.
“We’re going to go to the park this afternoon to walk a spell. You want to join us, then?”
Kate sighed. Daed would need her help, and Maem would surely need a break from David. “Danke, but I best say no.”
“Well, we’ll see you tonight at the singing, ja?”
Kate wondered the same question. Daed hadn’t said anything about taking her, and she didn’t feel comfortable asking. “Mayhaps,” she responded. More than likely, she’d stay at home. There was a lot of work to do in the morning.
She slipped away after eating. The walk home would only take about fifteen minutes, but she was eager to escape the gathering. She wanted to go home, get changed, and see what she could do to help her maem before evening chores.
“Hey, Kate!”
She stopped walking and turned around, surprised to see Samuel jogging to catch up with her.
“Mind if I walk you home?”
She smiled, glancing over his shoulder to see a buggy approaching. “It’s a nice day for walking, ja?”
He fell into step beside her, his hands in his pockets and his hat tilted backward on his head. “That it is. And Easter is next week. Pretty soon it will be summer, I reckon.”
The buggy passed them, the driver an older Amish man with a long white beard. He lifted his hand and waved in greeting. Both Kate and Samuel returned the gesture. As the buggy continued down the road, Kate noticed three little faces staring out the back window, watching them as they walked.
“Going anywhere this summer, Kate?”
She glanced at him and laughed. “Nee! Who has time to go anywhere?”
His lifted his shoulders and shrugged. “My cousin is taking his family to Ohio to visit his fraa’s family. I was thinking about tagging along.”
Wanderlust, she thought. Hadn’t he gotten that out of his system during his rumschpringe? “That would be nice.”
“Maybe in July. Not as much work on the farm then.”
She wished that she could say the same. But Samuel had brothers to help his daed. And the Esh family didn’t have a David in their life.
“And I heard that there’s a youth trip being planned to go to Appalachia to help build some houses for the needy,” he continued. “Ever think about doing that, Kate?”
She shook her head. “I . . . I can’t leave David,” she heard herself say.
“Oh,” he replied solemnly. “I see.”
Do you? David’s words from the other day popped into her head. Kate cringed at the memory of the horrible things that David had said in front of Samuel. It made her wonder even more at Samuel’s continued interest in her.
“Well then, we can plan day trips, Kate!” He turned around and walked backward, facing her as he did so. “A picnic, perhaps?”
She caught herself laughing at his enthusiasm. It felt good to laugh, and for the briefest of moments she forgot about David.
“And a campfire with my bruder John and Esther. We can sing a spell and cook marshmallows!” He looked delighted with his ideas, which made her laugh even more. “We’ll do a summer of adventures so that you have fun, Kate. I think you haven’t had a lot of fun recently. You need more of it.”
She wanted to ask him why. Why was this important to him? Why did he care? Instead, she lowered her eyes and took a deep breath. “A picnic would be nice, Samuel.”
They approached the mailbox at the end of her parents’ driveway. Samuel continued walking with her toward the house. She had thought he would turn around to go back to the Kings’ house to fetch his buggy. Instead, he appeared comfortable walking up to hers.
“Reckon I might visit a spell with David,” he said. “Seems he could use some cheering up.”
Kate didn’t know if that was possible but didn’t say so. Cheering up David was something no one had successfully attempted in the past five months. Still, she wasn’t about to deny either Samuel or David the chance. There was something contagious about Samuel’s zest for life. Mayhaps some time together would help David after all.
There was a flurry of activity in the kitchen when they entered. David sat at the window, staring outside while Miriam and Becca played Scrabble at the table. Kate could tell that Miriam was winning because Becca was standing up, a feverish scowl on her face as she scrutinized the game board.
“Not fair! You know more words than me!”
Miriam pursed her lips and shook her head. “You say that every time you lose.”
“Well, it’s true!”
“Girls!” Maem hurried out of David’s bedroom, carrying a book in her hands, which she handed to him. “Becca, if you can’t play nicely, don’t play at all!”
Just as Becca was about to respond, she caught sight of Kate and Samuel standing in the doorway. Her mouth dropped open, and then she grinned. With great exaggeration, she leaned over and nudged Miriam, gesturing in the direction of the door.
“David,” Kate called out. “Samuel’s come to visit you.”
He barely turned his head to greet the visitor. “Why?”
“David!” she gasped, horrified at his tone. How could he speak in such a manner when Samuel had made the effort to come visiting?
Samuel laid his hand on Kate’s arm and smiled. “It’s OK, Kate.”
Kate lowered her eyes, ashamed for her brother. In many ways, she had developed an immunity to his acrimonious words and comments. However, hearing him direct his hostility toward Samuel made her realize how ugly his tone of voice sounded. After all, it was one thing to talk to the family that way. But to Samuel?
Samuel seemed nonplussed. Instead of recoiling at the cutting remark from David, he merely ignored it. Crossing the room, he paused to greet Miriam and Becca, then smiled at Kate’s maem before he sat next to David at the window. “You missed a right gut sermon today, David,” Samuel began, lowering his voice as he spoke.
Kate moved across the kitchen, paying no attention to Becca’s grin, and stood nearby to listen to the conversation between Samuel and her brother. Her heart beat fast as she watched him. With his curly brown hair and tanned skin, he looked handsome sitting on the rock
ing chair, leaning forward as he talked to David.
“Bishop preached about the resurrection and Jesus’s sacrifice. He spoke a lot about personal sacrifice. I found it quite compelling.”
Kate had to think back to the sermon. How had she not heard it? Then she remembered that she had been distracted, thinking about Samuel as he watched her. Yet, he had heard every word the bishop said while she’d let her mind wander. Just another sin she’d have to pray for God to forgive.
“Mayhaps you might like to attend church next service,” Samuel offered. “I know my cousin would be glad to see you.”
David frowned. “No point in going.”
“Well, I beg to differ,” Samuel retorted, leaning back in the rocking chair. “You might find a lot of comfort in being back with the young men and socializing.”
Maem motioned to Kate that she was going upstairs. When she pointed to her head, Kate knew that she had another headache. Without being asked, she poured a glass of water and opened the cabinet for pain reliever. She didn’t want to leave the kitchen, didn’t want to miss hearing Samuel’s voice as he talked with David. But she knew Maem would appreciate the medicine, so she went upstairs with it.
“Danke, Kate,” Maem said as she took the glass. “Such a thoughtful girl.”
Kate hurried to the window and pulled down the shade. “You should get those headaches checked out, Maem. They seem to be getting worse.”
In reality, Kate recognized a pattern developing. Whenever left alone with David for extended periods of time, Maem needed a few hours of quiet time to recuperate. She wondered if David had noticed. Probably, she thought. He noticed everything about everyone else.
“When Samuel leaves, you should go help your Daed with chores.”
“I will.”
“And Miriam can prepare the evening supper. I have everything ready. She just needs to warm it up.” She sank into her bed and sighed. “You can tell her that, ja?”
Kate nodded. “Of course, Maem. You just relax a spell.”
Back downstairs, Kate was disappointed to see that Samuel was no longer in the kitchen. She worried that David had said something horrible, something that sent Samuel away. Miriam and Becca were focused on their game.