“I should probably get back to my room before Nicola wakes up.” I suggested, hoping he’d see that we needed to keep things at a professional level. But, shaking his head, he held me firmly to him.
“I’ve decided I’m tired of running from my past.” He made me pause with his confession.
“What?” I couldn’t comprehend what he was saying, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up by assuming anything. Could it be that I’ve lusted after this man for the past year, and now he might want me too?
Pulling me with him, he sat back against the headboard, so I nestled my head against his shoulder. I could hear his heart beating an erratic beat. He was nervous. “I’m tired of living in the past, of hoping that Gabi will somehow walk back into my life.”
“I understand. It’s hard to let go. I keep thinking I’ll turn the corner and my father will be waiting for me, or I’ll pick up the phone and it will be his voice on the other end.” At this point in time, I’d give anything to talk with my father again, to seek his guidance on what I should do with my life and on how to handle these threats.
He lifted my chin and looked down at me until our eyes met. My mind would pick that moment to realize I was only wearing a t-shirt – his t-shirt! – and a pair of underwear. I started to panic. “How did I?”
Jax seemed to understand what I was asking. “I wasn’t sure where you kept your sleepwear, so I grabbed one of my shirts and left your underwear on.” He held up one of his hands. “I tried not to look, only enough to get the clothes off of you so you’d be comfortable.”
I nodded, accepting what he’d said but secretly wondering if he liked what he saw.
He took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, trying to calm his heart rate. “I’m not sure how this is supposed to work, or if it will. I’m still working through a lot of issues with grieving, so you’ll need to bear with me. I don’t know that I can say the words you might want to hear anytime soon, but I’ll try; that’s all I can promise.”
Laughing a bit to myself, I sat up a little straighter in bed and placed a hand on his heart. His brow furrowed. I’m sure he was wondering what was so funny that I had to giggle. “I’m not laughing at you, I swear. It’s just that neither one of us is at a place in our lives where a relationship, especially one leading to commitment, is possible. At least not yet.”
He started to protest, but I held up my hands to stop him. “I’m not saying that I’ll never be ready, but I do treasure you holding me while I sleep. It helps with the nightmares and allows me to feel like someone else is watching over me, which in turn permits me to let down my guard a little.”
Jax seemed to sigh in relief. “I want to take things slow, anyhow. I don’t want to upset my daughter, and, given the things you’ve recently told me, I’m not sure how much you can handle either.”
Did he not have a clue? During the times we’ve kissed, his possession of my lips left a searing mark on my soul; his kiss made me crave his dominance. I could only rebuff with, “That’s where you’d be wrong. I know I’ve got some issues to work through, but I’m capable of handling more than you give me credit. Why don’t we just agree to take things slow and let our hearts take the lead?”
He wrapped his arms around my waist and shifted me over him until I was straddling him on the bed. Planted firmly on my hips, his hands kept me in place just above the hardness that lined his boxers. The feel of him was a temptation, making me want to rock against him. It had been too long since I’d been with a man - not trusting anyone to get close enough to have a possible relationship. Leaning forward until our noses touched, he inhaled my scent and groaned. Could he tell how wet I was with arousal?
Jax ran his tongue over my lips, nipping at my bottom one before sucking it into his mouth, causing me to groan and try to move against his firmness. “Don’t,” he said as one hand tightened on my hip and the other gave a hard smack against my backside.
His breathing was labored as I watched his face contort, trying to get some sort of control back. I’d witnessed a couple of Doms fight their natural urges, gain control over their desires, and settle back into some semblance of normalcy. It was a sight to behold. I’d never been that lucky because Declan took out any rage, lust, or vengeful feelings on me and my body.
I was lost in my thoughts, when he spoke up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you on top of my lap – it’s too enticing. The scent of your arousal is driving me nuts. I thought I could control myself, and I’m trying to, but my inner Dom is telling me to flip you over onto the bed, rip those panties right off your gorgeous body, and shove my way into your heat.”
His green eyes were half hooded with desire, their intensity barely visible with his dilated pupils. He had lust written all over him, and I wanted to experience it. I grabbed on to his shoulders for leverage as I moved my center against the firmness in his pants. He groaned. “We can’t, Robin. I want to take this slow, attempt to do it right.”
I shook my head and argued. “We’ve been skirting around one another at work for a while now. The last couple of days have been intense. Don’t you think it’s time we give in and find pleasure in one another? We don’t have to make it into anything other than seeking the fulfillment of release.”
His voice was still quiet, yet stern, “I don’t want to rush you or push you beyond what you’re capable of handling.”
I leaned forward rubbing my nose up against the side of his face. “I went through counseling for my issues with Declan – my father and brother insisted. It was a long time before I could tolerate anyone other than a doctor or nurse touching me. I don’t have any hang-ups now regarding sex. I’ve just chosen to be celibate for a while and wait for the right guy to come along.”
He looked at me with wary eyes, so I tried to reassure him, “I admit I have nightmares now, but they’re mainly centering around the loss of my father and the fear of what Declan might do if he catches me. They’re not about the past. I’ve dealt with them and put those issues to rest.” Feeling a bit emotional talking about my dad, I placed my hand on Jax’s heart. “Trust me when I say the dreams were ten times worse back then. I’d wake up drenched in sweat, pulling at my hair, and, fearing I’d be hurt, trying to run away from everything and everyone.”
A thought popped into my mind, “If you’re not sure about things, I’d be happy to sign a contract listing exactly what I will and won’t do with you? You’d know what my hard and soft limits are and that would give you freedom to do with me as you please, sir.” I hoped by calling him sir and lowering my eyes, an attempt to look seductive through my lashes, it would be enough to drive him over the edge.
He closed his eyes momentarily as his breathing kicked up and his cock began to twitch underneath me. It only took him a few minutes to gain control over his mood. I thought I’d lost any hope of feeling the release I so desperately needed, until he said in a tone that was not to be questioned, “Wrap your legs around me now.” I could see the dominant persona slipping over his face – one I’d recognized from other Doms I’d been around at the club Declan had taken me to.
I did as I was told, and Jackson flipped us instantly so he was on top. Causing my heart rate to spike and my center to flood with need for him, he grabbed my wrists and held them above my head. “I don’t want to tie your hands to the bed, but I will if I have to. Can you keep them there until I tell you to move them?”
Letting him know this is exactly what I’ve been wanting, I smiled and nodded at him. I needed to let go, to feel someone else in charge of my life for once. I just needed the opportunity to feel and get out of my head, and I could almost bet that Jax felt the same way.
He ran his hand down the side of my face with a tender caress. “I need to know, are you on birth control? I’d like nothing between us so I can feel every part of your center wrapped around my cock.”
I nodded. “I’m on the mini-pill.”
I reached out for him, wanting to pull him closer for a kiss. He shook his head before h
e reached up under my shirt and pushed it up over my head to where my hands were stretched out. “I told you I didn’t want you to move those hands, or I’d bind them.”
Jax took a deep breath in, before admitting, “I want so badly to tie your hands with my shirt because I need the control it would provide, but I don’t want to trigger any bad memories.”
I lifted my arms to him with the shirt still hanging loose around my wrists. “Go ahead, sir. Do with me as you please. I’ll let you know if things get too much for me.”
He took the shirt and began to twist it a few times, pulling it here and there until my wrists were bound, and then returned my arms to the bed. His body was perched above mine taking in every inch of me before he grabbed my panties, ripped them from my body, and left me bared to him. “I don’t want any contracts between us. We both know what the BDSM lifestyle is about. I assure you, I’m not a sadist or masochist. I only live for the dominance, the submission, and a little kink in the bedroom. I’ll ask you about things and how you feel about them prior to us doing anything. You can pick a safe word if you’d like, but if you tell me to stop, then I’ll do just that.”
“Mushrooms,” I whispered.
His face drew up in a scowl. He hated mushrooms as much as I did, but then it dawned on him. “Your safe word?”
I nodded.
His lower body pressed against mine while his arms tried to support most of his weight. A half smile lit up his face. “Only you’d pick something that we both hate as a safe word.”
I couldn’t help but smile with the look he was giving me - one of adoration. I knew this was a pivotal moment and there would be no going back. I only hoped the risk of jumping in was worth it.
Jackson’s tone got serious. “You are so beautiful, someone I’ve come to care about and cherish. I know we just promised to take things slow, but I don’t know that I can resist any longer. You’ve thawed my heart and awakened my carnal desires. I’ve fought the urges to kiss you and to be with you, but I can’t fight any longer. I need you, Robin. I need your submission to me – body and soul.”
“Yes,” flew out of my mouth in a heated sultry tone as I arched my back to him. His words were heating me from the inside out, and I needed to feel the power of the connection surging between us. I wanted to experience the force of his dominance.
A smirk spread across his face as his hand pushed some of my hair back behind my ear. “Don’t think for one minute that I’ll let you have all the control. I’ll do right by you and test your limits. All I ask is that you trust me to guide you to where we both find nirvana.”
I closed my eyes and cherished each word he’d just said. “Yes, sir.”
He continued to rest his weight on my lower body as he wiggled his way out of his boxers and threw them on the floor. His knees pushed mine further apart as he slipped his fingers through my folds to test my wetness. “You’re soaked.” He seemed surprised.
“Only for you, sir,” I admitted sheepishly, casting my eyes down because I wasn’t supposed to have direct eye contact with a dominant.
IT HAD BEEN A long time since I’d taken on a prevailing role. Gabi and I had stopped playing toward the end of her pregnancy based on the advice of her doctors. I wasn’t sure I could be the dominant anymore, but Robin’s eagerness to submit so willingly to me sent my mind right back to the world I’d craved.
Loving how wet she was for me, I moved my fingers through her folds. I used my thumb to find the hard pearl of her clit. I began to circle the little nub as she pushed into me begging for more. The little minx. She was already pushing the limits of submission. If she kept this up, I’d have to take her over my knees and show her how I dealt punishment. Too fast, Jax. Take it slow, man.
My dick began to harden further as a low moan escaped her throat – heating my desire for her. I kept rubbing her clit as one of my fingers breeched into her center. I didn’t expect to feel her walls clamp down around my invasion and try to pull me in. Damn she was tight.
She began to writhe on the bed as I moved my finger in and out of her heat and across her g-spot as I did. I knew I had to stretch her to accommodate my size. If I tried to push in now, I’d probably rip her in two.
I knew Robin had been a submissive, not only from her statements, but by the way she carried herself at work. I don’t think she realized how often she reverted to a compliant stance when dealing with any of the Prescott men – all very powerful Doms in their own right.
“You’re so fucking tight, honey. How long has it been?” I managed to ask as I pressed another finger inside her making her arch her back up off the bed and exposing those perfect round breasts in my face – tempting me.
Her words came out in pants, “It’s been three years.”
“Fuck. That’s been too long.” Scissoring my fingers against her walls to stretch them, I kept pushing both my fingers in and out of her heat. I needed her to come for me to relax her strong hold; otherwise, I’d never last beyond a minute inside her.
I managed to get three of my fingers inside her and felt her walls begin to spasm around me. Noticing her eyes were closed, I paused for a moment. “I want your eyes open, honey. I need you to see that this is me doing these things to you. I want to feel you come all over my hand.”
Her eyes popped open and focused on mine. I watched as her mind focused on me too. Her body was tense, and I could tell her orgasm was hanging on the edge; she was waiting for me to take her into the abyss of pleasure. “You will not come until I tell you. As of now, all of your orgasms belong to me and me alone. Is that what you want?”
She didn’t need to answer verbally for me to know that she’d surrendered herself to my lead. As soon as I told her I wanted control of her pleasure, her body relaxed into the bed. I could feel her gain control of her imminent release and wait for me to guide her over the edge. “Yes, sir. I submit to you freely.”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. I felt heady with the power she’d just given me. I continued pushing my fingers in and out of her tight pussy as I lowered my head to suck on those luscious breasts. I sucked one nipple into my mouth, teasing it with my teeth and tongue until it hardened into a firm peak; then, switched to her other breast. I wanted to see just how long I could delay her release. She had better control than I’d first thought, which pleased me greatly and made me ache to get inside her.
I finally gave in, curling my fingers up hard into the bundle of nerves deep inside her and whispering, “Come for me, Robin.” I bit down hard on her nipple causing her to clench onto my fingers and milk them as if they were my cock. She was greedy – trying to draw them further into her tight space. I released her breast and moved up to her mouth to silence her scream as she continued to flood my hand with her cream.
My fingers continued to rub out the remainder of her orgasm as her body went limp on the bed. I leaned to the side to push her damp hair away from her face. “It was beautiful watching you come all over my hand.” She was breathing hard trying to catch her breath, but she smiled up at me as I whispered the words of endearment.
We’d made a wet spot on the sheets, but I didn’t care; the housekeeper would be coming to remake the beds in the morning anyway. The scent of her arousal was so enticing, like a mixture of honey, mixed with her sweet smell of black raspberry. I didn’t know if it was the scent of her body wash, her perfume, or her. Out of curiosity I removed my fingers from her pussy and began to taste her sweet cream. I hummed with appreciation. “You taste heavenly, almost like the nectar of an exotic flower.”
She looked at me a bit funny, before I offered her a taste of herself. I didn’t think my cock could harden any further, but seeing her take my fingers into her mouth and lick them was almost my undoing. I had to have her, and I needed her now.
“I can’t wait. I need to feel you wrapped around my cock, baby.” I rose up over her and positioned myself at her entrance. I pushed my tip just inside her walls and felt her clamp on immediately. I strain
ed against how fucking good it felt, wanting to shove my way in, but I held back knowing that I needed to move slowly to get inside.
She angled her hips up toward me to allow me deeper penetration, but I wouldn’t force my way inside. With all the feelings and desires swirling around in me, I don’t know how I managed to talk, “Tell me to stop if I’m hurting you.”
Robin only shook her head. “I don’t care if it hurts just take me, Jax, make me forget about everything tonight.”
Her words were my undoing, and I pushed myself completely in with one thrust. Her mouth opened and her eyes widened in shock. I stayed still waiting for her to acclimate to my size but knowing if I didn’t get control over my own feelings, I’d be spent in seconds. It’d been far too long for me.
Our eyes stayed locked on each other for what seemed like an eternity. I could feel the strain in my muscles from trying to balance over her and from trying to keep my hips from moving – fighting their desire to grind deeper inside her. Giving me permission to move, I finally felt her walls relax around me.
I pulled back just a bit before plunging back in. She felt like heaven. I began to rock back further before returning so deeply that I felt myself bump against the end of her channel. Her hips came up as she wrapped her legs around my waist, giving me even deeper penetration into her. “Hang on, honey. I wanted to love you slow and sensual, but you’re making it hard for me to hold back. Since it appears this first time is going to be hard and fast, we can try it slower later. I want you to remember you’re not to come until I tell you.”
She nodded as her legs held tightly to my hips and her feet pressed up against my ass. “I understand, sir. Please take me, now.”
Her words were all it took to let me loose on her pussy and pound into her. There was nothing gentle about Robin when it came to sex, so I set a rhythm that would send us both soaring toward ecstasy.
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