“Tell me,” he replied softly, his hand sliding up my back making me shiver.
I slid down and stayed down so he completely filled me. I loved the feeling of Luke deep inside me.
I took a moment to memorize it before I said, “This can’t go bad.”
“It won’t go bad.”
“It can’t.”
“Ava –”
“Luke, you have to know, it won’t be like the other guys. If it’s you, it’ll be worse.” My voice went softer, lower, barely a whisper. “If this goes bad, it’ll destroy me.”
His hand stilled on my back and I waited, holding my breath.
The moment of truth.
No man wanted that responsibility. I knew it, I’d seen it time and again.
They liked to be in the chase. Luke didn’t want me actually to belong to him. He wanted to make me belong to him. Once he did, I was like his lamp, easily disposed of. Admitting to him that he had that power over me, I knew would be the ultimate turn off. Guys wanted girls they couldn’t have, so they could win them and then destroy them. Guys didn’t want girls who pined for them, loved them most of their life that was just too easy.
His hand in my hair fisted. “You sayin’ you belong to me?” he asked, his voice had gone from hoarse to gruff.
“No, I’m saying if this doesn’t work out –”
I didn’t finish, he whipped me around so I was on my back, he was on top and he ground his hips into me.
Ho-ly shit but that felt good.
“Luke,” I breathed, my voice catching on his name as the slow burn started sprinting.
“Admit it, Ava, you were sayin’ you belonged to me.”
“No.”
He pulled out and slammed back in and started grinding again.
Yes. My brain screamed.
“Do you feel it?” he asked.
I nodded and whispered, “I feel it.”
“Then you belong to me.”
“Luke.”
He pulled out and slammed back in again and my breath hitched as my body jolted.
“Say it,” he demanded.
I held on to my denial. “No.”
He did a repeat of the pull and slam.
“Say it.”
“No!” I shouted, lifted my head, pressed my lips to his and kissed him, sliding my tongue in his mouth.
That’s when it went wild. He didn’t stop between the pull and slams, just kept pounding into me again and again and again and, it must be said, I loved every, single, mind-blowing stroke.
I lifted my legs at the knees, pressing them into his sides as my hands roamed, my nails scratched. I kissed, licked and I may have gotten out-of-control and given him an actual Junior High School love bite at the base of his neck.
With his hands at my ass lifting my hips to take his thrusts, I finally got so close, I called his name, ready to finish.
And he stopped.
I’d arched my neck in preparation for climax but my chin jerked down and I stared at him. “Don’t stop!” I shouted.
“Do you belong to me?” he asked.
Even in the throes of pre-orgasm, my mouth dropped open. Then I snapped, “I hate you Lucas Stark!”
I saw his white grin.
“Yeah,” he mumbled. “You belong to me.”
Then he started moving again. And he didn’t stop this time.
And he left me believing that regular-position sex definitely had its merits.
* * * * *
We were face-to-face, my hands pressed against his chest, my leg wrapped around his hip, his fingers stroking the back of my thigh.
I had my eyes closed and even though I’d come down from my post-getting what was between us orgasm, my heart hadn’t stopped beating too fast. In fact, it was pounding so hard I was certain Luke could hear it and feel it.
“You scared?” he murmured.
Yep, he could feel it.
“Yes,” I whispered and do not ask me why, I told him the truth.
I was scared. I was scared out of my mind.
“Of me?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered honestly again and I actually started trembling.
He stopped stroking my leg, his fingers slid over my bottom, his arm wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer to the heat of him.
“Finally,” he muttered, “I’m gettin’ somewhere.”
I was so screwed.
He certainly is getting somewhere and I like where he’s getting! Good Ava said dreamily.
I don’t think your fuck buddies idea is working, Bad Ava told me on a huff.
I ignored Good Ava and Bad Ava and Luke held me tight until the tremors slid away.
Then I called, “Luke?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“What was with the handcuffs?”
His arm got even tighter. “If I had to, I was gonna cuff you to me again.” His head came up and he kissed my shoulder then he settled again and said softly, “I didn’t have to.”
Hell and damnation.
I just kept giving myself away.
Chapter Twenty
Straighter
It had been a long and emotional night so when I woke up, I still felt asleep and thought I was dreaming. Either that or I was in my pretend happy place. Those were my excuses for what I did and I was going with them.
See I woke up before Luke. I woke up happy (yes happy, it was morning, I hadn’t had the chance to put my defenses up yet), warm and post-night of mind-boggling life-altering sex relaxed, curled into his side and the first thing my eyes saw was the wall of his chest. There were a lot of things about Luke I liked (read: pretty much everything), but I liked his chest especially. So, since I liked it so much and I was living a dream, I leaned down and kissed it.
I decided I also liked his neck so once I was done kissing his chest I shifted up and kissed his neck. Since I was at his neck, I saw that I had, indeed, given him a hickey the night before and even though that was silly, juvenile and highly embarrassing, secretly I liked my mark on him so I kissed that too.
You also like his jaw, Good Ava reminded me.
She was right. I did like his jaw. Luke had a great, strong jaw.
So I kissed Luke’s jaw.
You also like his… Bad Ava started but Good Ava threw her halo at Bad Ava, it bonked off Bad Ava’s head so Bad Ava snapped at Good Ava, Hey!
“Babe,” Luke said softly, his voice husky with sleep, his arms coming around me.
I lifted my head to look at him, planting my hands on his chest, moving closer to his face and still in my dreamy, pretend happy place, I smiled and whispered, “Good morning.”
That’s when I noticed his face. It was soft and his eyes were sleepy, warm, inky and completely unguarded.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop right there.
Before I could react, retreat or even take the moment to memorize that look leveled at me, his hands came to my hair, pulling it off my shoulders to bunch it the back of my head. One hand shifted my hair to his other hand and the fingers of his free hand drifted down my back. His head came up and he brushed his lips against mine.
He settled back into the pillows and his warm, unguarded eyes roamed my face as I lay there frozen. Good Ava was twirling with delight, a la Maria in the mountains at the beginning of The Sound of Music while Bad Ava had her face in her hands and was shaking her head.
Luke’s eyes settled back on mine and, softly, he murmured, “Christ, you’re beautiful.”
At his words my blood turned to ice. The pretend happy place around me exploded and I found I was in the polar arctic, surrounded by snow and wasteland.
What was I doing? What, on earth, was I doing? How had I let it get this far?
No.
No, no, no.
This was wrong. It wasn’t right, it was very, very wrong.
What I was, and forever would be, was Fatty, Fatty, Four-Eyes.
What I was not was beautiful.
; Without a word, I jerked away from him and rolled to a seated position on the side of the bed, nothing but escape on my mind. I had no idea where I was going but I was going there and fast. I almost had my feet on the floor when his arm sliced around my waist and I was yanked back, across his lap.
“Where are you…?” he started but I was struggling, out-of-control kicking and hitting, my fists connecting with his flesh.
I had struggled against Luke before but not like this. It was like it was life or death. And in a way it was life or death because what I just learned about Luke was just like dying and all I knew was I had to get away.
“What the fuck?” Luke clipped, getting hold of my wrists and forcing my back to the bed using his torso. My hips still in his lap and my legs useless, he half-pinned me, pressing my wrists against the bed at the sides of my head.
“Get off me!” I shrieked, desperate, panicked and out of my mind.
“Jesus,” he muttered, staring at my face.
I bucked and pushed against his hands at my wrists. “Get off!”
“Ava, talk to me,” Luke demanded. “What the fuck’s going on?”
“Off!” I cried, my voice hitching as tears clogged my throat. I choked them down and started fighting again. Surprisingly, I got a wrist free and somehow slid away but he yanked me back, rolled full on top of me and caught my wrists again, jerking them over my head.
“Let me go,” I said.
“Talk to me.”
“Let… me… go!” I yelled and bucked viciously.
“Talk, damnit!” he barked in my face.
I stilled at the fury in his voice and, for some reason, talked. “This game… or whatever it is you’re playing with me… is bad enough but don’t you ever lie to me, Lucas Stark.” At that point, I was ignoring the fact that I lied freely to him.
But mine were fibs. This was huge.
His body went solid and his fingers tightened on my wrists. “Woman, you better fuckin’ explain yourself,” he warned and even though a chill went through me at his tone, I forged ahead.
“I know I’m a challenge, I know how you guys like that. You even told me last night you were enjoying this.” I closed my eyes tight at the memory, opened them again and then went on. “I am such a dork. I should have just given in right off so you could get your fill and get rid of me.” I stopped talking and shook my head in disbelief, at myself, too caught up in my own drama to feel the dangerous, angry electricity emanating from Luke and hitting the room. “You have what you want, Luke. You like to be straight, okay this is straight. We’ll stop playing this game. You win. You and I both know I’m not going anywhere, no matter how much I fight it. Take what you want and then leave me alone when you’re done with me but in the meantime, don’t fucking lie to me.”
When I was done, he spoke and his words came through his teeth. “We got a lot to go over here, babe. We’ll start with when you thought I lied to you.”
I didn’t make him wait for an answer. “You just called me beautiful. We both know that isn’t true. You want me to clue in? You clue in, Luke. Hello? I’ve had a crush on you since I first saw you. I wish it wasn’t true but the fact of the matter is, I’m a sure thing. You don’t have to lie and tell me I’m beautiful.”
“You’ve got to be fuckin’ shittin’ me,” he was still talking through his teeth.
“Oh yeah? And why’s that? Luke, you’ve seen me. You’ve known me since I was eight years old.”
“Yeah, I have, and you’ve been beautiful since you were eight years old.”
My eyes went instantly wide and my mouth dropped open. Then I snapped it shut.
I couldn’t believe he was still playing that game.
“Fuck off!” I yelled and bucked again.
He didn’t go anywhere, he just stared at me.
If it was possible, he sounded even angrier when he said, “Shit, they really did a number on you, didn’t they?”
“Who?”
“That mother and those fuckin’ sisters of yours.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh please,” I said and then made a noise that sounded like “foof”.
“Do I have to drag you in front of a mirror?”
“I know what I look like, Luke,” I snapped.
“Doesn’t sound like it to me, babe.”
I bucked again. “Get off.”
Luke didn’t move. “My Ma said it, your Dad said it. Jesus, even my Dad said it. You were always the prettiest one of that fuckin’ cat’s den. Why do you think they were all so goddamn mean to you?”
“Hardly,” I snapped. “I was fat and ugly, I had bad hair and I wore glasses for God’s sake.”
“You were never more than chubby, babe, not until you grew older and they had plenty of time to get under your skin. And you had beautiful hair, fantastic eyes and the best fuckin’ smile I’d ever seen in my life. You still do.”
I stopped struggling and stared at him mainly because he sounded like he meant it and I couldn’t believe that. Even though I couldn’t believe it, nothing about him was suggesting he was feeding me a line.
He went on. “Worse for them, you were smarter, funnier and nicer. People liked to be around you.”
Ho-ly crap.
He sounded like he meant that too.
“My Dad used to say that the man who got you would be the luckiest and unluckiest man alive because he’d have you for a lifetime but he’d also have to put up with them.”
All of a sudden, I was finding it hard to breathe, like I’d been kicked in the gut.
“Your Dad said that about… about… me?” I asked breathlessly.
“It was the only thing he and I ever agreed about.”
Okay, it was then I totally forgot how to breathe.
“Now let’s talk about the rest of the shit that came out of your mouth,” Luke continued.
Uh-oh.
I wasn’t even finished dealing with all he’d just said. I didn’t want to get into me blurting out that I’d had a crush on him since forever, I was a sure thing and that he’d won.
I was such a fucking dork!
Immediately, I said, “I need to brush my teeth.”
His eyes narrowed.
“No fuckin’ way,” he clipped.
“I need quiet space,” I tried.
He shook his head.
“Luke, you told me any time I needed something –”
“Quiet, Ava.”
I decided, from his deathly tone, it was prudent that I be quiet.
Luke stared at me while I mentally zipped my lips and then he started talking. “I’ve been straight with you since the beginning, something, I might add, you haven’t been with me. But I’ll be even straighter ‘cause it’s obvious you are just not fuckin’ gettin’ it.”
Oh no, not this again. Luke being “straighter”.
Ee-yikes.
“I want this…” he said and he let go of my wrists. His finger touched me on the forehead then slid across it and down the side of my face. “And I want this…” he fell to the side, his hand moved down my body and I sucked in breath when he cupped me between my legs. His hand stayed there a second before it glided down the inside of my thigh, pushing it open so he could roll on top of me again, settling between my legs. “I’m not stupid, I know your heart’s involved in this and I’ve never, not once in all the time you’ve known me, given you the idea that I won’t handle it with care.”
Oh… my… God.
Someone, shoot me, kidnap me, cuff me to a sink, anyone! My mind screamed.
“Luke –” I interrupted.
“I’m talkin’,” he bit off.
I shut up.
“I don’t put up with the shit you’ve handed me the last week because you’re some fuckin’ piece I want to conquer. I put up with it because I’ve liked you since you were eight years old. You made me laugh. You understood me. You looked out for me when no one else fuckin’ bothered and you acted like you thought I could move mountains and I needed someone who thou
ght that about me because my Dad sure as fuck didn’t.”
Rock Chick Revenge Page 37