by Beth Garrod
All the things that had felt unreal and magical last night were right here in black and white. Adam just kept repeating, “This is too much.”
“I’ve already told my mum to buy every copy of the paper she finds.” Tegan was grinning from ear to ear. “I bet it’ll be the front cover.”
“I’ll do the same.” Rach winked. “We need at least a hundred commemorative copies.”
And over the next couple of hours, as we packed away our tents to catch the shuttle bus back to our pick-up point, our phones went wild. Everyone wanted to be in touch. As we trudged towards the exit with our bags on our backs (hi, Dave!), we even heard our names shouted across the hordes of people heading home. It was Ska. She ran over.
“Just wanted to say congrats on everything.” She turned to me. “Saw the pics, FIRE!!!” So now the protest hasn’t been the lame disaster she thought, suddenly we were cool enough to talk to? “And you?” She looked at Adam. “Smashed it!”
I didn’t know what to say first. To get lost. To shut up. To ask her what happened with Derek? But I didn’t have time to choose a favourite, as Rach beat me to it.
“Yeah, they both did, didn’t they? And now they’re SO in demand we really don’t have time to stop, so, seeya.” She turned to Adam, Marcus, Mikey, Jay, Rach and Tegan. “You coming?”
We all absolutely were, and laughing we pushed on up the hill, leaving Ska glaring after us.
Tegan turned to walk backwards. “I for one cannot wait to never have to speak to her, or Luke, ever again.” It was rare for her to say a bad word about anyone.
I didn’t want to buzzkill and remind her I might be at college with them both. And ex-MGC. EURGH. The real world could wait. I was going to miss hanging out with my friends 24/7. Despite all being grubby and exhausted, they even made the trek back fun. Jo met me outside the coach with a massive hug, telling me how proud she was of me, and there was a huge clap as Teeg, Rach and I climbed on board.
But all too quickly the coach had pulled into the farm shop car park, ready for us to be collected. I said bye to Adam before we got off, as we both agreed we didn’t look in any fit state to be around each other’s parents. I would have been more emotional about this being the end of the whole festival if I wasn’t distracted by my mum, who was waving a newspaper in the air as a kind of royal greeting to the entire coach. Weirder still – and I don’t know if it was sleep deprivation or the fact that my boyfriend OFFICIALLY LOVED ME – I didn’t even mind (well, maybe a little, so I let Jo get off first, so everyone could assume she was her mother only).
When I eventually stepped off, Mum smothered me in kisses – and judging by Jo’s face, also the bright orange lipstick she was wearing. Smelling her washed hair and seeing her non-muddy nails made me realize how dirty I was – but you must stop noticing when everyone around you is the same. I looked around – yup, it was like a group of dusty, sweaty zombies had been released back into the wild.
“Couldn’t be more proud of you, my special sausage!!!!” Mum gave me another hug and pulled open the paper. “Just look at you!”
“No big deal,” I lied completely, enjoying the moment. “Do you have anything to eat in the car?”
“Glove compartment Softmints are all yours.”
Jo picked her bag up. “Shotgun the front seat!”
Damn her. I raced after her anyway (as much as you can do when you have a bag on your back that’s so big you look like an upright tortoise), but she beat me to it.
I opened the back door of our little Mini, giving a final wave to Rach, Tegan and Tegan’s dad. They were heading back to Tegan’s for the night. But I didn’t mind missing out, as I hadn’t had an evening with Mum and Jo for ages. Although first we had to drop the camera back off with Mr Lutas before anyone noticed we’d borrowed it.
Mum shrieked, making me jump.
“Girls!!!” She stepped back out the car and flapped her arm. “That man I was telling you about?” I swear Jo muttered, “Oh god.” “He’s here!”
No. No no. NO no no. If I wasn’t feeling human enough to see Adam’s parents, I certainly wasn’t mentally equipped to meet the man who made my mum send us the water spurt emoji multiple times. How was I meant to appear aloof and threatening when I had three-day-old glitter on my face?!
Jo and I looked round – but the area Mum was flapping towards only had Marcus, Adam and Adam’s dad talking to a random man. Before we could stop her, Mum rushed towards them, her harem pants wafting about like leg parachutes. Jo and I trundled after her, to limit the damage that was about to happen.
“Well, this is a coincidence,” she was shouting, giddy with excitement.
Please no. Did her new man really have to be a friend of Adam’s dad?
And was I really going to speak to Adam’s dad looking part human, part hedge?
And even worse. Were the worlds of Adam’s parents and mine about to collide?
I turned to Jo, only one word necessary. “HELP?!”
But what happened next made us both stop in our tracks.
The man my mum went and kissed on the cheek wasn’t Adam’s dad’s friend.
It was Adam’s dad.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-NINE
Total hyperventilation.
This could not be happening.
So what? Mr Douglas was having an affair? With my mother??
Did this make Adam … my sort-of brother?
I grabbed Jo’s arm as much for solidarity as to stop me collapsing.
Adam’s dad looked at me.
“Bella!” He seemed genuinely pleased, no idea I was on to him. “We can’t thank you enough for what you did for Adam!”
I think he went to hug me, but backed off when he smelt me.
Jo gulped. She’d figured it out.
Did Adam’s dad not realize I was my mum’s daughter? I looked across at Adam, his usually smiley self. He had no idea what was about to happen. Like a lamb to the slaughter. A really fit lamb, to a real curveball of a slaughter.
“You two know each other?” Mum put her arm around me. Who was going to figure it out first? Could I somehow get us out of this?!
But the only words I managed were “Adam” and then “Dad” like I was learning to talk.
“Maybe we should go, Mum?” Jo tried to intervene, but Mum was missing the point and was firmly on cloud nine.
“Don’t be silly, Joanne!” Mum was acting all girly and weird. It was gross. She was also using our full names, which meant she was trying to appear posher.
Adam put his hand out. “Nice to see you, Ms Fisher.”
Mum grabbed his hand and pulled him in for a hug. “You know I hate Ms?! Call me Mum!”
Was she doing that on purpose? Was this legal?! Surely if you’re dating someone your parent can’t be allowed to swoop in on one of their parents? Wasn’t that like parent incest or something?
Mum stepped back and looked at Adam’s dad. “We’ve had some right old times this week, haven’t we?”
Someone please make this end. Maybe the coach could run me over?
“Mum, we don’t need to talk about it now. Let’s GO,” I pleaded. All I got back was a dirty look from her.
“So…” Oh no, Adam was joining in. Please don’t let him ask the million-dollar question. “How do you two know each other?”
I closed my eyes and waited for my life to end.
But Mum just smiled.
“Laughter yoga!”
Sorry, what?!
“You know my new business?”
Adam shook his head politely.
“YOU WHAT?” I shouted a lot less politely. I looked accusingly at Jo. “Did you know about this?”
She looked a guilty. “Kinda. And I might have kinda forgotten until right this second.” She threw her hands up. “Oi?! It’s been a busy month?! Lots going on.”
This made her equally as responsible in my eyes. The images of my mum and Adam’s dad were forever burnt on to my soul.
I crossed my
arms. “And you thought you’d tell me when, Mother?”
Mum fake laughed. “I thought I had, Bellington?” Oh good, she was using that name in public. “We had a great few sessions, didn’t we?” She looked warmly at Adam’s dad. “Really unleashed some endorphins.”
“Sure did, Mary.” He was smiling. He could smile. “All the stress of this one’s exams.” He pinched Adam’s cheek. Adam looked mortified. Nice to know it wasn’t always me. “Just got too much at one point … Bella…” He put his hand on my arm. First contact since he Heimliched me. “Your mum is a miracle worker.”
“Thanks, Cliff.” Mum turned and tutted at me. “But, Bellington, please explain exactly what you thought all that noise and laughing was in our living room?”
I thought back to the “Do Not Disturb – Unless You Want To Be Disturbed” sign and shuddered. “No comment.”
And, like the weirdest private joke, they both put their hands on their hips, bent forward and “ha-ha-haaad” and “he-he-heeed” until they ended up in a fit of genuine laughter.
And somehow, with a mum who sold dog ice cream and taught laughter yoga, and a boyfriend’s dad who thought wearing cowboy boots on a Monday daytime was OK (yes, I’d noticed) they still thought I was the weird one.
It was definitely time to go home.
CHAPTER
FORTY
After the festival it felt like the whole summer was stretching out in front of us. If I could have paused time right then I would have done. My friends, Adam – it all added up to the best summer of my life. All I had to do was ignore the looming exam results. Which I did until the very second my alarm rang to wake me up to go and get them.
The day of reckoning. And I reckoned it wasn’t going to be good news.
I munched some toast, hardly aware I was even eating it as the doorbell rang.
Jo.
She was meant to be at work today.
“Surprise?!” She passed me a tiny good luck card. “Stayed at a mate’s last night. Thought today might be the day you’d need a sister lift.” She was right, I really did.
And an hour later, with good luck messages, good luck selfies, and advice about “laughing through any outcome,” coming through thick and fast from Mum, I was standing at St Mary’s gates with Tegan and Rach, Jo waiting in the car.
Even Mr Lutas looked nervous. He was milling about, in his normal tweed suit, but without his usual leather shoes – this must be his casual look. When he saw me he headed over.
“Ms Fisherrrrrr.”
“Mr Lutas.” I resisted the urge to add on ten r’s to the Mr bit. “Nice trainers.”
“Oh … ah.” I’d accidentally flustered him. “Thank you. I suppose.” He coughed, regaining his teacher-ness. “I just wanted to say the verrry best of luck to you.” Out of all the teachers here, it was only really him who understood how much I wanted to get on the photography course. He’d been my biggest supporter to make it happen. I just hoped I didn’t let him down. “I rrreally hope it all works out the way you want.” His face softened. “The way we both want.”
“Same…” I scrunched my mouth to one side. We both knew what he meant. That I’d got the grades I needed. Not ruined my only chance. That the last five years hadn’t been for nothing and I hadn’t wasted my effort – or his. And I could be his first student to make it on the course. “And, er, thanks. For everything.”
And before I knew what was happening I was giving him the world’s most awkward hug. More of a wrestling move really, considering he had his arms flat against his body. I regretted it the second I did it, but had to hold for the required amount of polite-British time.
“Well, erm, yes. Let me know how it goes.”
He shuffled off quickly.
It was weird that I’d spent the last five years wishing I never had to see any of my teachers ever again – and now the day had come when I wouldn’t and I was wondering if I would miss them. Year Seven me was disgusted I could even allow that thought.
Tegan held my hand. She knew how terrified I was. They were nervous too, but with their brilliant marks on coursework and mocks, at least whatever happened they’d be together.
Together we walked in. Together we collected our envelopes. And together we found out the news.
Tegan had aced it with almost all top grades.
Rach had done way better than she’d hoped for.
And I had done exactly what I expected.
Totally messed up.
I wasn’t going to college with my friends – and I only had myself to blame.
CHAPTER
FORTY-ONE
I closed Jo’s car door and slid into the seat.
She switched the music off. “So?”
I tried to explain, but no words came out: just tears. She wrapped me in a cuddle and didn’t say a word. She thought I didn’t see her one-hand sneak-text Mum to tell her we’d ring later, but I appreciated her stalling her for me. Which just made me cry even more. Proper ugly crying where you give up trying to keep on top of both the tears and the mucus.
When I got my breath back I handed Jo my envelope. She passed me a tissue, and looked through the sheets of papers, with some “Uh-huh”s and “I see”s.
“So how far off were you?”
“That’s the thing, Jo, if I’d only got a C in maths, I’d have got in.”
Being so close somehow made it even more painful.
“OK. Don’t panic. You still have options, right?”
I nodded. “Rubbish ones.”
“It might feel like that now, but I promise you it will be OK.”
How could she promise when the only options were all at colleges without Tegan and Rach, and none of them had the photography course I wanted to take?
“Do you just want music on?”
I nodded, and after assuring me that when I was ready she’d help me go through all my options, she let me play Wet Donald as loud as I could. She’d even bought a family bag of Revels, which I accidentally ate all of (except the raisin ones) before we’d turned off the main road.
When we pulled up home, Mum’s car was on the drive. My heart sank further. I really didn’t want to have to go through all this again. But when I got in, she gave me a cuddle. She already knew. Jo must have texted again when I was having round two of epic crying.
“Tea?” she asked as if that would make everything better. I flopped on to the sofa and grunted. Mumbles jumped up beside me and rested her head in my lap. Her top lip had got stuck on one of her teeth which always made me smile – it was like she was trying to cheer me up. I stroked her head and tried to pretend it was all going to be OK.
Mum bought three cups through, and a home-made biscuit for Mumbles.
“It’s not all bad, Bells…” she said as she put them on the table.
“You don’t understand!” I snapped right back, taking my disappointment out on her.
“Let her finish,” Jo said, putting me back in my place gently.
Mum sat down on the armchair. I hadn’t thought about it, but she must have had to have come home from work to be here.
“She nodded towards the far end of the sofa. “Why don’t you look under that cushion?” Something that looked like newspaper was sticking out.
I sat forward, Mumbles shooting me an annoyed look at disturbing her relaxing time, and investigated. It was a box. All wrapped up in the newspaper front pages with my festival pictures.
I pulled it out and looked at Jo and Mum, confused. Mum grinned. “Go on then?”
I peeled off the tape and unwrapped it.
And couldn’t believe what was underneath. A brand-new camera.
“W … what’s this?”
Mum sat beside me and kissed me on the head. “Just a little something from me and Jo. We thought you deserved it.”
I looked at my sister. “This is from you too?”
She smiled. “Yup.”
“But it must have cost a bomb?!”
She shrugged. “Is i
t the right one? That’s the main thing?”
It was way more than the right one. It was the best one.
And it was mine.
I couldn’t believe they’d done this. Mum was working two jobs with Give A Dog A Cone and now laughter yoga, and I knew how stressed Jo had been with her extra shifts at work. And they’d done it for me.
And for the third time today I cried so many tears I worried I was going to turn into a freeze-dried human. But all thanks to Mum and Jo, this time they were happy ones.
CHAPTER
FORTY-TWO
Two hours later, I still couldn’t believe it. Jo said she was almost regretting it, I’d said thank you so much. I hadn’t really seen Mum though, as she’d been on the phone dealing with some sort of crisis.
So I’d entertained myself taking a whole batch of photos of Mumbles wearing various summer accessories (just the classy ones – sunglasses, baseball cap, a hat that said “Beach Please”). Adam had come round as soon as I’d rung about my results, so I’d also been pretending I needed to “check the portrait settings” but really it was an excuse to get loads of amazing black-and-white pictures of him, without him realizing my cunning plan. He hated having his photo taken, but didn’t complain, and then told me he had a surprise of his own – with the money he’d got from doing some gigs that had been booked since his festival appearance he’d bought a case for my new camera.
I didn’t have to make a decision until the end of the day about my college choice, so I was a bit more composed by 3 p.m., when Jo, Adam and I sat down to go through everything. Everyone was being super positive but with every prospectus we opened up, a bit more of my happiness faded. My new camera was amazing, and I could totally use it to practise in my spare time, but I did have to face up to the reality of what my future held.
As we opened the last brochure, the doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone. I looked at Jo but she shrugged. Probably a delivery. Me and my rabbit slippers slid our way across the floor to open the door. My two faves were on the doorstep. Tegan and Rach. And in their hands was what I can only describe as an entire newsagent’s snack shelf.