by Mae Doyle
Before I even made eye contact with Kaleb and Jackie, I walked up to Amelia, slamming the noose down on her lunch. Her plate clattered and bounced, but she didn’t flinch, not even when her food flew all over the table.
“Back the fuck off, Amelia.” My voice was stronger than it had been in days and it left my mouth in a low growl. I could practically feel everyone in the dining hall leaning forward in their seats as they tried to hear what was going on, but this was between the two of us, and I ignored them.
“You didn’t like my gift?” She tilted her head to the side and batted her eyes at me. “It just seemed so useful and fitting for you, Rose. Need me to come by later and show you how to put it on?”
“Only if you go first.” She scoffed at that and rolled her eyes, but I wasn’t done. “I’m not going anywhere, Amelia, so you might as well get used to seeing me around. You think that you can just drive me away? Well, you can’t. I’m here to stay and you’re going to have to get used to it.”
“Kinda like Brett’s mom is going to have to get used to him being dead? Or your slut mom had to get used to your dad being dead? It really would be better for the entire world if you’d kill yourself, Rose.”
“Whatever.” I turned to leave, but she reached out and snapped her hand shut around my wrist, pulling me back. I sucked in a breath, trying to keep from blacking out at the pain that shot through my wrist. Standing up, she leaned over the table, her eyes locked on mine.
“Listen, bitch. You don’t belong here. You didn’t before, and you sure as hell don’t now. You think that this is going to just go away? You’re crazy. I’m not going to let you rest until you leave school or you die, do you understand? You deserve to be punished for what you’ve done, and nobody else around here has the balls to do it.”
“Is that what you’re hiding under your skirt? Big ole balls? No wonder nobody here wants to sleep with you, Amelia.” My skin felt like it was burning at her touch and I pulled my hand back. “Back the fuck off, Amelia, I mean it.”
She scoffed. “Die, Rose. I mean it.”
My right hand balled into a fist. All I wanted right then was to hit her so hard that her neck snapped back. I imagined her eyes bugging out as I hit her and I leaned back, ready to put power into it, but before I could do anything, someone’s hand closed gently over my wrist.
“Rosita.” Jackie’s voice was soft in my ear and I immediately felt my body deflate. I didn’t want to stop – I wanted to hurt Amelia the way that she continued to hurt me, but Jackie was there. He was always there, him and Kaleb, and I was beginning to see that even though things had changed and we’d lost Brett, they weren’t going anywhere.
I loved them both for that.
As much as I loved him, though, I still couldn’t move. My eyes were locked on Amelia, like I was daring her to do something. I didn’t trust her, especially not now that she had put the noose in my doorway. She wanted me gone, but I wasn’t going to leave.
I wouldn’t give her that pleasure.
“Cousin, you’re not involved in this.” Amelia’s voice was tight and she’d stopped looking at me long enough to stare at Jackie. The look she gave him was withering, but he didn’t flinch.
“You need to back off.” His voice was level. Even though the conversation they were having felt private, I knew that everyone in the dining hall was leaning forward, trying to catch snatches of what they were saying. “Leave her alone, Amelia. None of this is her fault.”
She laughed, throwing her head back and exposing her long, perfect neck. When she stopped laughing and looked at me, however, her face was anything but happy. Jackie reached out and grabbed her arm, squeezing it tightly until she finally let go of my left wrist. I wanted to rub away the soreness, but I couldn’t bear the thought of her seeing that she hurt me.
“Bullshit. She brought this on herself. She and Brett had some shit from when they were younger and that’s why she needed to leave. Nobody else here seems to find it very interesting that he’s the one who had dirt on her to make her leave and now he’s dead. You really don’t find that strange, cuz?”
His grip tightened on her wrist. They were looking at each other like they understood each other, like she’d finally gotten through.
“Jackie.” I turned around, resting my free hand on his chest. His heart was beating out a slow rhythm in his chest. “Don’t listen to her.”
Closing his eyes, he sighed, then looked at me. “Rosita, we need to get out of here. It’s time for class and then we need to talk.”
I had no idea what Brett had told him and Kaleb. For all I knew, he had told them everything about his dad. Or, maybe they didn’t know anything. Maybe they didn’t know that Mrs. Cox was involved with the council.
As much as I hated to do it, it was time for me to come clean with the rogues. My best friends already knew, but without knowing exactly what Brett had told Jackie and Kaleb, I couldn’t keep them safe.
I nodded. “Lunch and then class.”
“Lunch and then class.” His grip was still tight on my right wrist as we turned away from Amelia. Her face looked triumphant, but she didn’t say anything.
That was fine. She could think that she won, but she hadn’t. Jackie was her cousin, sure, but he loved me, and he and I had something that she would never be able to touch.
I only hoped that I was right.
Chapter 23
“Do you really think that this is necessary?” Kaleb and Jackie were following me through the woods to the bunker, even though Kaleb had suggested that we meet instead under a tree in the quad so that we could talk. “I mean, there’s really no way that someone would hear us in the quad, right? So why all the way out here?” Kaleb was right behind me, keeping his voice low so that we wouldn’t be heard.
“I don’t trust Amelia.” I dodged a tree branch and stomped on, leading the way through the woods. We all knew where we were going, but I was beginning to feel like the bunker was mostly mine. I’d spent so much time there recently that I felt completely comfortable leading them there.
Besides, it was my place with Brett. As strange as it felt to be taking the other boys there, I knew that it was their hangout first.
Finally, we reached the door in the ground and Jackie opened it with a grunt. The three of us dropped down into it before I turned on the lights and he shut the door. We were now all sealed into the ground together, which would have really bothered me a year ago. Right now, though, it felt like the safest place that I could possibly be.
“Okay, Rosita. You said that you have some things to tell us.” Jackie tossed me a bag of chips from the table and then sat down on the sofa, motioning for me to come and curl up under his arm. I did, and Kaleb sat on my other side, grabbing my hand and pulling it into his lap.
Okay. I was safe.
I was as far away from Amelia as I could get while still being on Taylor Prep property, and I had two people who loved me unconditionally there with me. Amelia couldn’t find me, which meant that she couldn’t lead the harpies to me, and I sincerely doubted that Brett’s mom knew about the bunker.
“Alright. This is a crazy story, so you guys buckle up. You ready?” Kaleb kissed me on the forehead and Jackie nodded.
“Let’s hear it, honey. But remember, you don’t have to tell us the whole thing at once if you don’t want to or you can’t. We’re here for you, Rose. We love you.” Kaleb’s voice sounded tight and I wasn’t surprised to see that he had some tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
Sometimes I forgot that I wasn’t the only one who missed Brett terribly.
Nodding, I sucked in a breath. “Okay. So you guys know that Brett and I knew each other growing up, right?”
They both nodded and I took anotherbreath, steeling myself to keep going. This was already harder than I had thought it would be, probably because I felt like I was sharing something private. Brett was gone, and the only way that people would know the truth about us was if I told them, but what if I got it wrong? The f
eeling made me a little sick to my stomach.
“Did he ever tell you two that his adopted dad was abusive?”
“The guy that his mom married just a few years ago?” Jackie sat up and turned to me. “I’ve met him! He was abusive?”
Shaking my head, I grabbed his hand to calm him down. “No, not his stepdad. Not him. He’s a great guy, as far as I can tell. I’m talking about when Brett was really little and first adopted. That dad. He was not a great dad, and he was really abusive. We all knew it.” My voice cracked and I had to take a moment to regain composure.
How could everyone on the street have known what was going on in their perfect little house but not done anything about it?
Clearing my throat, I continued. “We all knew that he was abusive, but nobody did anything. Everyone just…looked the other way.”
“You were young.” Kaleb interrupted me by taking me by the chin and turning my face so I was looking at him. “You were young, Rose, so even if you did think that something was up, you couldn’t have done anything okay?”
“Oh, I know that now, but that doesn’t absolve anyone else.”
He nodded and let go of my chin, still holding onto my hand. As hard as this was, at least I felt very grounded being between the two of them. We were surrounded by a sense of loss and missed Brett terribly, but with the two of them, I could get through this.
I continued slowly, often stopping to wipe away my tears or explain something that didn’t make sense. I felt like I needed to really show the boys how bad it had gotten with Brett’s adopted dad, that otherwise they wouldn’t understand why he’d killed him and why his mom had just helped him get rid of the body.
To be honest, I still wasn’t sure that I understood it all, but I was trying so hard to be able to. The more I talked about it, the more it all made sense, and the better I could understand what happened with Brett.
“Wait, so his mom thought you saw her there?” Jackie’s voice was twisted, and I nodded at him.
“Apparently so, but I didn’t. I had no idea that she was involved in any of it, but she thought that I saw her, so she freaked out. That’s what Brett told me, anyway. That’s when things got bad with Brett. We’d always been really close, but after his mom thought that I knew she was involved…well, things went south.”
Kaleb frowned. “In what way? How much worse can it get than an abusive dad?”
I bit my lower lip and sighed before answering. “Things with Brett got strange. We didn’t hang out nearly as much as we had, but I thought he was just missing his dad. I think now that his mom was limiting the time we spent together.”
Squeezing both of their hands, I continued. I told them all about Brett killing my cat and pushing me to jump out of the tree. By the time that his mom got remarried and they moved away, I was actually really glad to see them go.
“And then you see him at school. At Taylor Prep. What happened then? Were things weird?” Jackie hadn’t taken his eyes off me the entire time I’d been talking.
“He never mentioned our past?”
Kaleb shook his head. “He mentioned that you two had known each other, but that was it. We didn’t know anything about what had really happened between the two of you.”
“Okay. Well, from what he told me, he talked to his mom and told her that I was here. She freaked out, of course, since she thought that I knew she had helped with his dad’s death and hiding the body. So, after that, she went to the council to have me driven out.”
Kaleb let out a low whistle. “And that’s why everyone turned against you.”
I nodded. “That’s it. I guess that once the council gets involved then there’s no going back. His mom kinda indicated that when we went to see her. Sounded like even if she wanted to get the council to stop coming after me that she wouldn’t be able to.”
“That sucks.” Jackie reached up to tuck hair behind my ear, but his hand fell back down uselessly into his lap. “So, do you have any idea about what we can do? I mean, if the council isn’t going to give up, and now they think that you killed him…I don’t see an out.”
“That’s the thing.” I exhaled. “How do we not know that this is all just a ploy by the council? I mean, I swear to you guys that Brett was still alive after the accident. And the way that they’re saying it happened – that’s not at all what happened on the road. Someone came up and hit us from behind while we were pulled off on the shoulder, and Brett was still breathing. I was watching him breathe because I needed to see it.”
“You needed to know that he was alive.” Kaleb’s voice was quiet, but knowing that he understood and that he was on my side gave me strength.
“I did. And he was. That’s what’s insane about all of this, you guys. Brett was alive after the accident. He wasn’t…dead, and he wasn’t hurt, not really. If I walked away from it, then there was no reason that he wouldn’t. I don’t know why they would tell us that he died!” My voice had been getting louder and louder and I suddenly realized that I was shouting and had stood up. My fists were clenched at my sides and I was breathing hard.
“Rose.” Kaleb stood up and took both of my hands, squeezing them until I looked at him. “We believe you, okay? We do. We…we don’t know what to do about the fact that they’re saying he died or how we can keep you safe when people are putting nooses in your doorframe, but…we’re going to try.”
“We won’t stop trying, Rosita. And remember that break is really, really soon.” Jackie smiled up at me from the sofa, but something wasn’t sitting right.
Suddenly, it hit me. “Break. Wait, Brett’s mom wrote him a note and it said that he needed to keep me on campus, that I couldn’t go home for break. He told me…” I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. “…he told me that I couldn’t go home and that he needed to stay with me to keep me safe. Now he’s not here, so what do I do?” Panic threatened to grip me, but I tried to keep my cool.
Brett said that he would keep me safe.
Now Brett was gone.
Brett said that he would keep me safe.
Now Brett was gone.
“Rose.” Kaleb grabbed my shoulders and gave me a light shake, making me gasp. I’d been talking out loud, and both of them looked terrified. “Listen, we’ll stay with you, okay? We’ll keep you safe.”
I looked from him to Jackie. “Are you sure? I don’t want you two to put yourselves in any more danger than you already are.”
Jackie stood up and stretched. Normally, the sight of his stomach and perfectly toned abs would have my mouth watering, but I felt like everything was falling apart right now. As much as I loved the two of them and wanted them, I was more scared than anything.
“You don’t get a say in the matter, Rosita. It’s what Brett would do, if he were here, so we’re going to do it, okay? That will let us keep you safe and maybe we can find some time to get to the bottom of this.”
Chapter 24
The next week was quiet. I was beginning to think that maybe the worst had passed me by. I was excelling in all my classes except for physics and accounting, but it’s not like I was planning to ever need either of those classes once I left Taylor Prep behind.
I wanted to sing, and physics and accounting had nothing to do with my life.
For the most part I was left alone. That all came to a head a few weeks before break.
“Want me to run up to your room with you?” Harper, Maggie, and I had all been hanging out after dinner. I loved being with my rogues, but spending time with just my girls was important to me, too, so I made sure to carve out time for just the three of us to be together every few days. Grinning at Harper, I shook my head and left.
I needed to run upstairs and grab my sheet music for voice practice. My girls had told me that they’d walk me over to practice so I didn’t get ambushed by the harpies, but I didn’t think there would be a problem with me going to my room on my own. Besides, climbing three flights of stairs each time I went to my room got exhausting, and I
hated asking my friends to do it.
Every time I turned down the hall to my room I looked for a noose. After that first time, however, there hadn’t been anything, but that didn’t stop me from looking.
Today was no different. Sighing, I slipped my key into the handle and turned it, carefully reaching in to turn on the light before I went into my room. I could tell my friends that I didn’t want them to have to climb the stairs to my room, but the truth was that I didn’t want them to see what I had to do to enter.
Open the door, turn on the light. Quickly scan the room and then the bathroom before locking the door behind me. Once it was closed and locked then I could check the window for signs of tampering and look under the bed. If nothing was there, and so far, nothing had been there, then I could do whatever it was that I had come to my room to do.
I sighed, feeling safe in my room, and turned back to my desk.
My sheet music was there on the top of a pile of other papers and I grabbed it after completing my ritual. Scrawled across it, in red marker, were the words kill yourself. I blinked, not wanting to believe what I was seeing, but the words didn’t disappear. It had to be the work of the harpies.
Amelia was the only person who would be brave enough to write that on my sheet music.
Scoffing to myself made me feel braver than I actually was, and I shook my head, wondering if I could get another copy before anyone in my vocal group noticed. Before I could turn back to the door, however, something caught my eye.
Something silver.
Something shiny, with a sharp edge.
I picked up the razor blade and turned it over in my hand. I didn’t remember leaving it on my desk, in fact, I’d never seen it before in my life. The thought that Amelia must have been in my room and left it there on purpose ran through my mind, giving me chills.
But how did she have a key? Hanging a noose in my doorway was one thing, but leaving a razor blade on my desk was another.