“And don’t tell me you’re fine, ’cause you’re so not fine, Maddie. I’ve never seen you act that way.”
I swallowed.
“Here.” She handed me a business card. “Call her.”
Carly Valentine, PhD, the card read. Highbanks Sport Psychologist. “But it’s just a breakup.” My voice trembled, and my throat burned. Don’t cry.
“It’s more than that. You’re a hot mess.”
I wasn’t sure if the burst of air from my mouth was a laugh or a cry, but it certainly wasn’t a happy sound.
Tina patted my shoulder as she looked up into my eyes. “Talk to her, Maddie. Figure out what’s going on with you, okay? I miss your smile.”
I blinked quickly. I missed my smile, too.
Chapter Eight
“WHAT DID I JUST DO?” I ran my hands through my hair as I crumpled back against the wall. The dim lighting of the arena hallway hopefully hid my embarrassment.
Frank approached and cupped my shoulder. “You got a little heated back there.”
“Oo-rah,” Brad said. He raised his palm for a high-five, and I gave it to him. Though I didn’t want to celebrate my eruption, I couldn’t leave him hanging.
China grinned. “I’ve been dying to castrate that jerk for how he treats these women.”
“I just kept thinking about how he told Lucia to lose weight last fall—and he dared to eject Maddie from practice? But I should never disrespect a coach like that.” I shook my head.
Allison’s eyebrows pulled together. “Coach Holter hasn’t exactly earned our respect. Maybe you could’ve been more tactful…”
“You think?” I clasped my head in my hands again.
“But he’s had that coming for a long time, like you said.” Allison smiled. “We’re just jealous you got to say it, not us.” She glanced at China. “We should head back up for Lucia. You coming?”
China’s smile actually looked shy. She pushed off the wall and walked to the stairs, drawing close to Allison’s side.
Watching two women together still jarred me. When I’d fallen under China and Brad’s protection the day after the election, Lucia had told me about China’s secret relationship with Allison. “It was different for me at first,” she’d said, “just because I didn’t know any lesbian couples. But now I think they’re cute together.”
Cute together? Nothing about China was cute. I still felt uncomfortable around her, and not just due to her overbearing nature. It was strange to me that she had zero use for men in her life. She certainly didn’t need a man’s protection, nor did she need a man for sex. And how did sex actually work without…? Chin. I sounded as naïve as Mateo.
Would Maddie want to be protected by a man? I sure hoped so, because I felt drawn to do just that. I couldn’t get the image of her facing off against Nina out of my mind. She’d stormed toward Nina like she’d wanted to flatten her, but I’d worried Maddie would be the one to get hurt. We’d both lost our cool.
I wondered how Maddie felt about me yelling at her coach. She probably wouldn’t want anything to do with a hothead like me.
“Alejandro,” Brad said, and I looked up. “Want to wait here at the gym for Luce, or head to the greenhouse?”
I glanced at my watch. “She has a half hour left of practice?”
“About that,” Frank said.
“Uh, how about…” My voice faded when Maddie rounded the corner. She stopped short once she saw me, and her rapid blinks couldn’t hide her tears. Damn, she’s beautiful.
She threw her hand in the air as she shook her head. “Great! You catch me crying once again. You must think that’s all I do.”
I wished she didn’t feel embarrassed. Her tears didn’t make me judge her—they made me want her. The contrast between her emotional softness and her athletic toughness allured me.
I noticed Frank and Brad slinking away, giving us some privacy. I looked back at Maddie. “Of course you’re crying—that was a rough one out there. It’s not every day you get thrown out of practice.”
She winced. “That’s my first time ever.”
I took that in and considered all the practices of my baseball career. “Me too, actually.”
A smile appeared, then a giggle leaked out. “What the hell got into you, boy?”
“I bought a one-way ticket to loco, I guess.” Her smirk captivated me, and pretty soon I laughed too. “I don’t know what came over me.” I straightened. “Are you upset with me?”
“What? You’re like the team’s hero now. Everyone loved how you went off on Coach.” She tensed, then turned to look down the hallway, but all was clear. “Everyone besides Nina, that is.”
“That girl’s got problems.” My vision narrowed. “What did she say to my sister? Lucy looked really hurt.”
Maddie bit her full bottom lip. “Definitely not worth repeating.” Her hand fluttered away from her body like she was nervous.
I noticed she clutched a business card in that hand. “What’s that?”
“Nothing.” She swept the card inside her Spandex shorts. I saw a patch of toned abs when she hiked up her shirt, and I kept staring at the rectangular outline pressing against her Spandex. I wouldn’t mind being that business card.
“What a great birthday this turned out to be.” She sighed.
I inhaled. “It’s your birthday?”
“Yesterday.”
“Happy belated twenty-second, then.”
She smiled, seeming pleased.
“I hope you have a celebration lined up—something better than that awful practice.”
“I celebrated with my family at home this weekend.” Her smile faded as she looked down. “But Rez and Dane are taking me to dinner tonight.”
“Oh.” I felt deflated—I’d hoped to spend some time with her. “I know you’ll have a great time.”
“You’re not coming with?”
I shook my head. “I shouldn’t crash another dinner with your friends. Besides, Lucy didn’t know I was visiting. She’ll launch a protest if I try to tag along.”
“Why are you visiting?”
Because I can’t stop thinking about you. “Dad wanted me to check in on Lucy. And our professor canceled class tomorrow, so I figured this was a good time.”
“Well, I bet Rez will let you go with us to dinner.”
“She isn’t furious with me for screaming at your coach?”
Maddie grinned. “She said she was glad Coach doesn’t speak Spanish. What exactly did you say?”
My mouth closed. “Shouldn’t repeat it around a lady.”
“Oh Lord, you think I’m a lady?” She chuckled.
I think you’re exquisite.
“Keep talking like that, and I’ll be sure to get you to come to dinner with us.” Her eyes glimmered, but she’d stopped crying a while ago. “In fact, I insist you join us. It’s my birthday—I get to do what I want.” She gave a definitive nod.
“Well, okay then,” I said. “I’ll go, if you insist.” I pretended I was reluctant.
“Good. But first, the lady has to shower.” She curtsied in her Spandex.
How freaking cute is that?
“Señor.” She bowed her head before peeking up at me with a grin.
“Señorita bonita.” I swept my gaze up her long legs to her lean torso, then up to her radiant face.
Her grin faded as she watched me. A spark lit in her eyes, then began to smolder as she stared at me.
I felt myself growing hard, and my chest tightened as I struggled for air. I looked from her eyes to her lips. When she licked her lower lip, my heart seized. God, I wanted to kiss that pretty mouth!
When she started, I jerked back. I could see she’d felt it, too. The connection. The turn-on.
She swallowed. “Gotta shower.”
When she darted past me, I almost lunged to grab her, to press her to me so I could maul her with kisses. But she was too fast. She left me with just the sight of her lithe body disappearing into the locker room.
I closed my eyes and noticed my galloping heartbeat. I felt like I’d just hit a single and sprinted to first base. But we hadn’t made it to first base…yet. Would she want me to kiss her? Touch her soft skin? Do things to her body I’d only imagined before?
“Damn it!” Dane thumped his fist on the table when we finished telling him about Coach ejecting Maddie and me from practice. “Why’d I have to miss it? So unfair. I’ve wanted to go bitchcakes on Holter’s ass for over a year.”
Lucia grinned as she leaned closer to Dane. Over a black turtleneck she wore a black T-shirt with two cartoon hot peppers wearing sombreros and tossing volleyballs in the air. The caption read Wanna Pepper?
My sister hadn’t seemed so jovial after practice. On her way to the locker room, she’d found me in the hallway. As expected, she’d scowled with her hands on her hips when I mentioned dinner plans, even after I explained that Maddie had invited me. When I promised not to spy on her or boss her around, she’d finally relented. Maddie hadn’t emerged from the locker room yet, so I’d shared my birthday gift idea with my sister. Lucy’s demeanor had changed in an instant: she’d actually clapped and grinned.
Later, when Lucy had pranced out of the locker room with Maddie following her, she’d said, “C’mon, we’re picking up Dane at Josh’s.”
Maddie had shrugged and given me a smile.
Now that we were tucked into a booth in the corner of the restaurant, I glanced over at Maddie next to me. She stared at the thick menu in her hands, and her delicate eyelashes cast tiny shadows on her cheeks. When she turned the page, she must have felt my stare, because she looked right at me.
“So many choices,” she said as she shook her head. “Do you know what you want, Alex?”
Yes. The light blue eye shadow she’d used made her eyes sparkle. You.
When I didn’t respond, she cleared her throat. “Have you been to The Cheesecake Factory before?”
“A few times. There’s one in Houston…at a mall called The Galleria.”
“The fifth largest mall in the country,” Lucia added.
“Really?” Dane’s straw gurgled as he polished off his coke. “Who knew Texas could be so civilized.”
Lucia elbowed him.
The waitress approached. “Another Fresca, sir?”
Dane nodded.
“And are we ready to order?”
Once she’d taken our orders and disappeared into the bustling restaurant, Lucia looked at Dane. “I can’t believe you’ve never been to Texas. We should go.”
“Want to show me cows? Rodeos? Your old house?”
“Well, there’s another governor living in the mansion now,” Lucia said. “But I could show you the house we lived in before that. And there’s more to Texas than cows and rodeos.”
“Oh, right. There’re lots of guns, too.” Dane rolled his eyes. “Figures Texas elected another Republican governor.”
“I’m proud of my home state,” I said.
“And I’m proud my state put a Democrat in charge.” Dane smiled.
“It’s too bad for your economy, then.”
Lucia glared at me for riling up her boyfriend, but I couldn’t help myself.
Dane’s mouth tightened. “It’s great for human rights to have Democrats in charge. We’re not letting the police take target practice on African-Americans just for the fun of it. Right, Maddie?”
She looked up from peeling oats off a slice of pumpernickel bread. “Huh?”
“Braxton texted me about what he’s been doing.” Dane leaned closer to the table. “I think it’s awesome.”
Maddie seemed to freeze, then her eyes darted to mine.
“Your brother?” I asked. “What has he been doing?” If Dane thought it was awesome, I probably wouldn’t like it.
“Uh…He, um—”
“He’s been protesting at that Cleveland police station about the shooting last month,” Dane supplied.
Lucia placed her hand on her chest. “That sounds dangerous.”
And idiotic. “But the trial’s still going on,” I said. “The officer hasn’t been convicted. Justice hasn’t been served. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?”
“Justice can’t be served when the system’s stacked against you,” Dane said.
Maddie remained quiet, and I asked her, “Is that what you believe? Do you think the system’s unjust?” She squirmed. “Do you agree with your brother?”
“I think I see both sides?”
“Jeez, Alex.” Lucia frowned at me. “It’s her birthday. Give her a break.”
I blew out a breath. “You’re right.” I looked at Maddie. “Sorry.” Why did it matter what her brother did? It wasn’t like Maddie and I were dating or anything. “I seem to commit countless peccadillos in your presence.”
Dane snorted. “Feeling nervous, Alex?”
“Why do you say that?”
“You’ve got your defenses up.”
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m having a good time at Maddie’s birthday dinner.” I raised my glass of water with lime and nodded at her.
“Defense mechanisms, I mean,” Dane said. “We’ve all got ’em.”
I studied him. What was the psychologist’s son up to? “So what is my supposed defense mechanism, then?”
“Intellectualization.” Dane smiled. “When you have an uncomfortable emotion, you unleash a big vocab word.”
Lucia’s mouth popped open. “He does do that!”
“Shut up, Lucy,” I warned.
Dane smirked. “Don’t you mean, cease your chicanery and verbosity, sister Lucia?”
When Lucia chortled, he laughed. It wasn’t long before Maddie joined in, and her giggles lit up her face—the way she should have looked at her birthday dinner. I couldn’t watch the three of them laughing without my own smile breaking through.
“Okay, Mr. Psych Major,” Maddie said. “What’s your defense mechanism?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Dane held out his arms, revealing an impressive wingspan. “Regression. I regress to adolescence often.”
Lucia and Maddie laughed.
I marveled at how my anger toward Dane lessened with his self-deprecating comment.
“Oh.” He raised his finger. “And sublimation. That’s another defense mechanism I use.”
“What’s that?” Lucia asked.
“It’s when you channel difficult impulses into more acceptable behavior. Like when you have sexual fantasies that you can’t act on, so you exercise like crazy.”
Or throw yourself into school. Mierda. I used that one, too.
Dane brushed strands of hair off Lucia’s face, then cradled her chin. Her cheeks burned crimson as she looked at me.
And…the anger returns. I muttered under my breath, “Guess he doesn’t have to use sublimation anymore.”
When Maddie vibrated next to me in the booth, I turned to find her shaking with suppressed laughter. I scowled, and she shook harder—her lips glued together, her eyes alight with mirth. And then her hand clasped mine. In an instant I stopped thinking about Lucia and focused only on the feel of Maddie’s warm, soft fingers. I squeezed back.
“Here we are.” The waitress swooped in to place huge plates in front of us.
An hour later, Dane collapsed back into the booth. “Food baby,” he moaned as he cradled his belly.
“You didn’t have to eat the whole plate of pasta and the whole piece of cheesecake,” Maddie chided.
“But it was so good.”
Dane hadn’t eaten the entire piece—Lucia had taken a couple of bites. But I wasn’t going to point that out since Mom had told me not to comment on what Lucia ate. Other than Dane helping her order when she’d seemed mired in indecision, my sister had managed the meal without much evident anxiety. I was proud of her.
“So you liked my peanut butter cup cheesecake?” Maddie asked me.
I smiled and nodded. The few bites I’d stolen were tasty, though I wasn’t a big fan of desserts. I had enjoyed
watching Maddie eat the sweet treat. Not only was her mouth the sexiest damn thing I’d ever seen, it was good to see her eat. She looked thinner than when I’d met her in January, and that was only three weeks ago.
Lucia glanced at me before she dug in her backpack and extracted an envelope. “Time to give you your present, Maddie.”
“Rez!” Maddie’s lips parted. “I told you not to get me anything. This dinner’s present enough.”
Dane’s eyebrows lifted. “Did you get her the T-shirt, Luz?”
“No, I told you that was in poor taste.”
“What shirt?” Maddie asked.
Dane stopped pouting long enough to answer. “I wanted to get you a T-shirt that said I’m Not With Stupid Anymore.”
Stillness settled over the table, and I braced myself for more of Maddie’s tears. But then she giggled. “Nana would love that shirt.”
“You see?” Dane railed. “I should’ve ordered it.”
Lucia shook her head at Dane. She looked back at Maddie. “I know you said you didn’t want a gift, but I got you a card to tell you what a great friend you are.”
“Oh.” Maddie nodded. “I guess that’s okay.”
Lucia fidgeted before she handed over the envelope. “And Alejandro came up with a gift idea that sounded perfect. So that’s inside the card, too. It’s from both of us.”
“But you didn’t know it was my birthday until an hour ago,” Maddie said, eyeing me.
I shrugged. My breath caught in my throat, wondering how she would react.
“Let me see this,” Maddie grumbled as she reached for the card and tore it open. She said “Aww” as she read what Lucia had written, then her mouth opened. “You guys got me an MCAT study book?” She looked at me. “And you’re offering to help me study?”
Does she like it? “You said it’s been tough to concentrate lately, so I thought a team approach would help.”
Maddie still didn’t speak.
“Sorry for the nerdy gift,” Lucia said. “Alex thought you’d like it.”
Aced (Blocked Book 2) Page 9