It didn’t take me long to pack my saddlebags, but I felt like I was leaving a part of me behind as I climbed on my bike and looked at my grandparents’ cabin one last time. The weight sitting on my chest never eases as I drive through town and past the diner. I take one last look in the windows as I pass and see her pouring coffee. Her bubbly personality isn’t there, even from this distance I can tell. When she hears my bike pass her head pops up and I blow her a kiss, so she knows my heart is just as broken as hers is. I close my eyes and say a silent prayer that this isn’t the last time I ever lay eyes on her. She calls to me like no other before her and I doubt there will be another in the future. But there’s a little girl who is waiting for me and needs me more than Cassarah does, and she’s battered, bruised, and devastated. I need to be her rock, the one she can count on. As much as I wish Cassarah would come with me, I know that something is holding her back from taking that leap. I vow that I will make sure Emma is secure and happy for the rest of her life, and if that means leaving the love of mine behind, as much as it hurts, I’ll do it. Because she has no one, and has lost everyone.
I arrive back in town and my first stop is the hospital. Trinity has filed my paperwork that I had left behind in case an event like this was to happen. I am now Emma’s legal guardian and she cannot leave until I sign her out. I had Jaxson bring my truck up here and he’ll be taking my bike back to my house. Trinity is bringing me a toddler seat to place in the back of my truck, Emma is four and will still need one for another year or two. She’s a tiny thing, but I believe that it is due to the circumstances that life threw at her, and less to do with her natural weight. I can’t stop thinking about the phone call I received, as I sat in my favorite booth, watching my girl do her thing.
“Hello,” I answer.
“It’s Bandit, things are bad here, you need to get back, like yesterday, man.”
“How bad is bad?” I ask.
“Bad enough that Trinity filed that paperwork, and Chief has guards on a little girl’s hospital room.” What the fuck?
“Tell me.” I know we’re brothers bound by our oath, so I hope he realizes that me commanding him to do something isn’t an attempt to usurp his position within the club. I need to know. I look up and notice my girl’s eyes are on me, she looks away once I happen to look up and notice.
“The mother is dead, man, the senator killed her and according to the maid, the sonofabitch then took his anger out on his daughter. The maid called the emergency line at the police station and Chief was the one to take the call. By the time he arrived, the senator had fled and there was no saving the mother. I’m sorry, man, the kid is alive and awake, but she’s in shock and won’t let anyone near her. They had to sedate her just to treat her, and Trinity and Chief haven’t left her side. But since you’re her legal guardian, they need you here.” I close my eyes, I can’t even imagine what she witnessed and went through. She’s going to be in need of love, patience and understanding...and therapy. I hope Trinity knows a good child therapist, because the one I use to use for my clients has now retired.
“Consider it done, I’ve gotta run back to the cabin and grab my shit then I’m in the wind and on the way home, brother. Pass my thanks on to Trinity and Chief, yeah?”
“You’re family, Law, and that makes that little one family, too. Fair warning, the women have already gone and decorated one of the bedrooms for Emma. The maid told Chief that she liked the Disney princesses. And when he heard that, Jaxson made her a castle bed with turrets, and the women had the prospects paint the room pink.” Wow, everyone’s been busy, how long has she been in the hospital without anyone informing me? Instead of voicing my displeasure, I decide the best thing is to get on the road and ask questions later.
Walking into the hospital the first person I see is Jaxson.
“Your truck is here, and the brothers are up in the waiting room. Trinity and Chief are in with the girl and would like you to message them and let them know you’re here. They need to speak with you before you go in the room.”
“How did you make a bed so quick?” Yeah, I know that’s coming outta left field, but it’s been on my mind over the miles.
“Wasn’t just me working on it, man. I had Chet and Maxum, Capone. Fuck, I think every one of the brothers helped, if I’m being honest. This hits too close to home for some because of the ages of their own kids.” Yeah, I can see that, especially given how Trinity and Chief ended up with their two girls.
“You’re a good man,” I tell him, slapping him on the shoulder as I pass him and walk to the elevators. My nerves are wrecked as visions of this little girl, in a bed, needing medical attention isn’t setting right with me. While waiting on the elevator, I shoot a text to Chief letting him know I’m on my way up. I get back an ‘okay’ and step in once the doors open, pushing the button that will take me to the pediatric ICU floor. The door dings and before it opens, I take a deep breath knowing that my life is about to be irrevocably changed.
“You look like shit, man.” Is the first thing I hear as I step out.
“Thanks, love you, too,” I tell Axe.
“Seriously, did something happen while you were away?”
“We’ll talk about it later, right now, my need is on anything other than my broken heart.”
“Your broken heart, man, wait, we have a few if you need to talk.”
“Not now, brother,” I say, walking past him and right to Chief. He’s standing in front of a door, acting as a guard keeping me out. “Needing in there,” I say to him.
“Not before we talk,” he says.
“Then talk, brother.”
“The good news is, she’s gonna recover. With time and patience, and some play therapy that Trin is getting the details on, she’s gonna be okay.”
“What’s the bad news?”
“Well, no easy way to say this but straight out.” He nods to someone behind me and I glance over my shoulder to see Hatch and Axe stepping up behind me. Fuck, this isn’t gonna be good if those two are at my back like this, not at all.
“Then get to it.” I know my patience is gone and my tone is indicative of that fact, but when I feel the hands on each of my shoulders, I know I’m not gonna like the words that come out of Chief’s mouth.
“Law, man, she witnessed her father bludgeon her mother to death. When the mom was obviously dead, the father then started in on Emma, tossing her around and hitting her. We think, based on the bruises, that it was with a closed fist, but we can’t be one hundred percent sure. Honest to Christ, if the maid hadn’t seen it happening and slipped out and called us, I think she would have been killed as well.”
“What...what are her injuries?” My voice is hoarse and I can feel the tears slipping unchecked down my face.
“Broken collar bone, broken legs, broken arm. Cuts and gashes on her face, chest and back. Bruises pretty much everywhere,” he says, his own voice choked up as he pulls me close. I lose it then, with my brothers literally surrounding me while I break down. Several long minutes later, I pull back and find a hand holding out tissues to me. “Thanks,” I say, my voice now broken.
“Any time, brother,” Smokey replies, his trademark jokes absent. “Whatever you and that little girl need, you know we’ve got you.” I nod because that’s how we roll as a club. We’re a family. Sometimes a wee bit...colorful...but a family nevertheless.
“You okay to go in now?” Chief asks me. I nod and he opens the door. My eyes immediately shoot to the bed, which is like a giant crib, where Emma’s tiny, broken body lays.
Making my way to her side, I gently take her little fingers in my hand and lean close to say, “I’m here, princess. No one will ever hurt you again.” Her big blue eyes look at me but she says nothing in return. I know she’s on as much medication as they can give her but I wish I could hear her sweet little voice. When I tried the last case, I got to meet her in my office and the memories of her questions resonate deep inside, like a roaring fire. She had said, in a way that was surprisingly matur
e given her age, that sometimes, the bad men don’t get punished. That was after I explained how court worked so she understood. Even though she wasn’t going to be in the courtroom, her caseworker and I thought it was important to explain things to her and her mother. Thinking of her mother, my heart breaks. This little girl won’t have her for those important things in life when a girl needs a mom. I know the old ladies will do what they can, but it won’t be the same.
“Has anyone found any information on the aunt yet?” I ask.
“Nothing, she’s vanished without a trace. She hasn’t accessed her bank account, credit cards and doesn’t have a traceable cell phone that has been found. It looks like she’s fled and has no intentions of ever being found,” Chief informs me.
“Wondering if her leaving has anything to do with the father?” I muse. I mean, he was abusive to the mother and child, I wouldn’t put it past that douchebag to have either hurt or threatened the sister, especially if she noticed things weren’t right.
“Do we even know her name?” I ask.
“All we know is she went by Cassie, even her driver's license states that name, but from the records at social services that wasn’t her birth name. That information is sealed and even Bandit is having a hard time getting the real name.” Makes me wonder if I can manage to get those records unsealed, given that these are special circumstances. But the courts are really strict and you need a really good reason to get them to release those records.
“I’ll prepare and file a motion with the courts to see if we can get them unsealed,” I state. “I’ve got my laptop in my saddlebags, so I’ll do it when I leave here tonight. Presuming I’m not allowed to stay?”
“No, man, although given the circumstances, they’ll probably give a little bit of leeway,” Chief replies. “But, you need a good night’s sleep at least tonight and if they’ll do it, we’ll all help. You’re not alone in this, brother, and that little girl is gonna need every single one of us to get her healthy and whole again.” I nod my head at his words. Truer words have never been spoken.
Chapter Five
Cassarah
Three weeks later…
I hang my head in the toilet for the fifth time this morning. This stomach bug is kicking my ass, I’m never going to get tips again if I keep up with the vomit breath. I’ve started carrying my toothbrush and paste with me to work and use it more than what is considered normal.
“Here, honey, thinking you need to take one of these,” Sandy says, coming into the bathroom.
Looking at her, I see she has a pregnancy test and I shake my head no. There’s no fucking way, I’m on birth control and other than that snafu with the tear in the first condom, we used them religiously.
“Yeah, honey, you’re showing all the signs. Trust me, as a mom with grown kids, I recognize them. Smells bugging you? Your boobs sensitive? Puking at the drop of a hat?” Fuck me. She’s right. Even some of my favorite scents now turn my stomach. And my poor boobs are swollen and sensitive to the touch. I’m not touching the puke comment, but there’s one she hasn’t mentioned. I never thought I had a particularly strong libido, but Elijah proved differently to me. I swear, I am so fucking horny I could scream, only there’s no relief in sight. The dreams at night leave me sweaty and unfulfilled whenever I wake up right at the good part.
“Fine,” I tell her, holding out my hand for the test. She turns her back to give me some privacy and I quickly pee on the damn thing then get my hands washed while we wait.
“How long do I need to wait until I can see the results?” I ask Sandy while I brush my teeth. Again. For the sixth time this morning, no less, if I include when I first woke up this morning.
“Honey, usually it’s three minutes, but it’s been less than two and you’ve got two lines.” Fuck. My. Life.
“Umm...what does two lines mean exactly?” For some reason, I need this explained to me like a damn five-year-old, even though in my head I know.
“Sweetie, you know what it means. You’re having a baby,” she quietly says, as if she’s scared of what my reaction will be.
“Would you, would you mind terribly giving me a few minutes alone...please.” I need to gather my thoughts because right now all I can think is...how the hell am I going to take care of a baby, and should I or shouldn’t I call Elijah and tell him? I know he has a right to know, but first I need to wrap my head around this. I need time, I know I can’t hide this from him forever, but right now, I need to be a little selfish.
Law
It’s been a rough few weeks, Emma is finally home, and she won’t let anyone touch her other than myself, Nan and Trinity. She keeps asking for her mother and when I tell her she’s not able to come to her, she asks for her aunt Cass. How do you tell a four- year old that her mother is dead? How do you explain that she’ll never see her again and you have no clue how to track down her aunt? So far, the courts are stalling my briefs requesting the files to be unsealed so we can locate the aunt. I have a feeling the good senator is still pulling strings from wherever he’s hiding underground. He’s got friends in high and low places to be able to pull off this type of disappearance. Bandit has been working his magic, but every time we get close, like a fucking snake, the bastard slips through law enforcement’s hands. Yeah, as much as I’d love to kill him myself, we’re doing things the right way. Not for me, but for that little girl.
“Emma?” I ask as I go into her room. “Time to wake up, sunshine.” I hear her giggle and smile. With the help of the therapist that Trinity found, she’s slowly coming out of her shell. “Miss Mary is going to be here in a little bit, do you want to have some pancakes?”
“Cakes, Lah! Want cakes!” I gently get her out of the bed and carry her into the bathroom and sit her on the toilet. Usually, the women take care of this stuff, but they’re not here yet and I know she’s probably gotta pee at least.
“Go pee, sweetie,” I tell her as I head back into the bedroom and grab some clean clothes for her.
“Lah, wipe!” Wait, what? What does she mean ‘wipe’? Going back into the bathroom, I see her grinning at me before it hits. Fuck. My. Life. Why aren’t Trinity and Nan here yet? Hell, right now, I’d take DJ. I may not be cut out for this after all, but I can’t leave her sitting on the toilet all damn day.
“Okay, baby, hang on.” I grab the wipes that are on the back of the commode and realize now what the hell they’re using them for.
“I made poop!” she calls out, as if it’s a miracle. I turn my head to hide the smile because she’s so damn enthusiastic about shitting in the toilet.
“Law? Where are ya at, boy?” I hear Nan call out, and nearly jump up in glee.
“Bathroom!” I holler out. She comes in and takes in the scene at a glance and starts laughing. “Not funny, Nan,” I mutter.
“Yes, it is. Watch and learn, young man,” she states as she deftly cleans up little miss stinky butt before flushing the toilet. “Now, Emma? We always wash our hands after we’ve used the potty, remember?” I see Emma nod her head as Nan carries her over to the sink and they both wash their hands.
“I was going to make pancakes before Mary got here this morning,” I say.
“Then you go get that going, I’ll get her dressed,” Nan states. I hide my smile because she’s such a softy when it comes to all the kids and already, she treats Emma as if she was one of her biological grandkids. My heart clenches then, realizing that my one shot of any children is hundreds of miles away in a small mountain town. Knowing that the doctor wants me to stay ahead of her pain level, and she hasn’t had any meds all night, I pull them out and have them ready for when Nan carries her in here for breakfast. While I wait, I grab my phone and google child-size wheelchairs. She’s not really that heavy, but Nan doesn’t need to be carrying her everywhere and this will add to her mobility level. Finding one, I call and place the order then send a text to have one of the prospects go by and pick it up.
When Nan makes it down with Emma, I take her from her arm
s and place her down in the booster seat that’s attached to the kitchen chair. Cara brought it to me when she first came home and she sits in it for every meal. Once breakfast is finished, I clean her up and send her in the living room with Nan to wait for Mary to get here and begin her therapy. My mind drifts to Cassarah, I wonder what she’s doing and how she is? I haven’t heard from her since I came back, I’ve sent her a couple of texts that haven’t been returned. I hope she hasn’t given up on me, because I sure as fuck am not ready to give up on her.
Cassarah
Today is my first doctor’s appointment. I feel guilty that Elijah won’t be here for this, but I’m still getting my affairs in order and my mind is all over the place. I’ve decided I don’t want to tell him over the phone about the baby, I feel this news needs to be given face-to-face. So, I’ve decided to pack a few bags, have taken some time off from work, and have even paid an extra rent payment, to give me at least a month away, until I know if he still wants me and the baby to come live in the same town as he does. This way, I can still come home and either stay, or pack up.
“Miss Clarke?” a nurse calls out. I stand and follow her to the back, where she takes my blood pressure and then gets me on the scale. When I raise my eyebrow at how she does it backward from every other doctor I’ve ever seen, she says, “Most women’s blood pressure goes up when they see their weight increasing. We’ve found taking the blood pressure first means we’ll get a better, more accurate reading.” Huh, that makes sense, I guess. Once we’re done, she gives me a cup and directs me to the restroom, pointing out the little door that I need to put my sample in. God, I hate trying to pee in a damn cup versus all over my hand! Mission accomplished, I put the cup in the door then wash my hands before I go to the exam room she showed me on my way to the bathroom. The nurse comes back in and quickly takes a baseline history. After the twenty-questions is over, I am told to put on, what is the equivalent to a paper towel, gown. I crawl up on the table and cover up with the sheet of paper she gave me to keep myself warm. I put it on backwards, as instructed, and try to cover my exposed breasts by wrapping my arms around them. Why is it I feel like I’m under a microscope?
Law_Rebel Guardians MC Page 5