Law_Rebel Guardians MC

by Liberty Parker

  I hear a knock on the door, then before I can say come in, the door opens and in walks an elderly man, who can’t be any younger than seventy years of age. I close my legs in an attempt to preserve my modesty, who wants a grandfather figure to be putting his fingers up their hoo-ha? Not me!

  “Miss Clarke, I’m Dr. Robestein and I’ll be taking care of you today. It seems congratulations are definitely in order, you are indeed pregnant.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper. My vision takes in his balding silver hair, the wrinkles on his forehead and I can’t help but wonder if this is the man I want delivering my kid. Knowing that he’s the only doctor in the vicinity, I realize that there is no other option. I will use him for today, then start a search of someone a little younger...I know that sounds bad of me, but I can’t help but wonder if the only reason he hasn’t retired is because no one else has taken his place in town.

  “First off, let’s use this doppler here and see if we can’t hear the little one’s heartbeat. Then we’ll do your exam and take some samples to send off to the lab to make sure everything is going the way it should for both you and your child.” He helps me lay back and I am helplessly trying to figure out if I want to cover my chest or my lower region. Deciding it’s a useless battle, I just lay back and wait for him to do his thing. There’s a knock on the door and he says to me, “That would be the nurse coming in to make things more comfortable for you, dear.” I sigh out loud and he chuckles at me. The nurse walks in and comes over and stands next to me. I watch as he puts gel on the end of a little microphone looking thing and places it on my belly. He moves it around until we hear the steady thump of….bump, bump...bump, bump.

  Tears form in my eyes and I ask, “Is that...is that the baby’s heartbeat?”

  “It sure is, it’s really strong too, baby sounds nice and healthy,” he tells me.

  “Can I record it?”

  “Sure you can, sweetie, where’s your phone?” I indicate my purse and she brings it to me. I place it by the device and let it record...something to share with Elijah later on when I finally get to him. I can’t help wishing that Elijah were here, holding my hand, but things being what they are, I gather the memories of right now so that I can share them with him. Providing when I get to where he is, he even wants to see me. He’s texted me a few times, but I haven’t answered. Mainly because I’m not really sure what to say.

  “Now, let’s get the exam out of the way and see if the sonographer can fit you in today, I’d like some measurements to go in your file.” I suddenly get very excited and decide I like my doctor.

  “Does that mean...will you be able to get pictures today too?” I ask.

  “Yes, sweetie, we’ll get pictures of that little one.”

  “Do you think I could get one to keep?”

  “Absolutely, all new mothers need their baby’s first picture to display proudly.” If I have to, I’ll make a copy so that I can give one to Elijah as well.

  “Okay, this isn’t the most comfortable part, but it’s necessary,” the doctor says. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

  Sitting in my car, I can’t help but stare at the grainy picture that the sonographer printed off for me. This one I’m keeping for myself, I have the one for Elijah tucked away in my purse. I had them place it in an envelope for safe keeping. I wish I knew what I was having, but it was too soon or something. Just knowing that everything appears to be on track will have to be enough right now. Besides, Elijah really should be at the appointment when we find out what we’re having...that is if he wants to be involved. I shake my head, of course he’ll want to be involved, Cassarah. He’s all about family and the kids he talked so fondly about that belong to his brothers, I loved seeing how it would always brighten up his face when he would tell me about them. He shared so many stories with me, they all revolved around the family activities and how the kids were always involved in one way or another. I can’t wait to meet some of these people face-to-face, they sound wonderful. Especially someone he kept calling Nan. He said she pretty much adopted each child as her own grandchild and since I have no parents and don’t know about his background, this would be good for our little one. I rub my belly and can’t help but smile, I tell him or her, “You’ll have more than I ever did, I promise you that.” Dammit, the fucking tears are starting again. Apparently, pregnancy hormones cause all sorts of shit, including mood swings, and I even cried last night at a commercial about animals being neglected and mistreated. I wish I could reach Cissy to talk to her. Other than Sandy, who is old enough to be my mom, I don’t have any close girlfriends. I plan on hitting the road next week, I need to know what the future holds for me and this little one.

  Law

  I don’t fully understand the concept of play therapy, but Mary uses dolls and toys to get Emma to express her feelings. It seems to be working well, although today I’m about ready to climb the walls. She brought a daddy doll and a mommy doll, as well as a baby doll, and I had to watch as Emma re-enacted what likely happened that fateful day when her mom was killed. It guts me knowing that her young eyes witnessed that horror. I’ve seen the crime scene pictures and it wasn’t pretty, that’s for damn sure. I wish I could find her aunt for her, she needs someone she knows and trusts around her right now, but those files are sealed up tighter than Fort Knox. “Law,” Nan says.

  “Yeah, Nan?”

  “Why don’t you go to the clubhouse for a bit and have a beer or two. I’ve got her.”

  What the fuck? It’s like, ten in the morning, surely she’s kidding right? “Um, kinda early for beer, Nan,” I tell her.

  “Okay, soda then. I don’t care. But the caged look on your face says you need the guys, not me.” She’s right. I need answers. As I leave the house, I pass a local diner on the way to the clubhouse, and once again I find my thoughts drifting to the woman I left behind. She wormed her way into my life and I miss her terribly and could use her by my side now, more than ever. I wonder if she’ll help me with Emma? She’s an amazing woman, so I have no doubt she’d take one look at that baby and take her under her wing and love her unconditionally as if she was her own. Finally making it to the clubhouse, I dismount my bike and walk through the front doors. There aren’t many people here seeing as most of the brothers are at work today. I walk back to Axe’s office and knock on the door. He hollers for me to enter, and I am happy that at least he’s here.

  “You doing okay?” he asks me, before I’m even all the way through the door.

  “I’m hanging in there. Nan kicked me out when I was having a hard time witnessing play therapy.”

  “What was it that got to you?”

  “She was re-enacting that night, it was too much to witness. She’s so young, Axe, no child her age should see the things that she has.”

  “We’ll make things right with her. She’s a strong one, Law, she’ll move forward with all of our support and guidance. Hopefully, these memories fade and she grows up happy and resentment free.”

  “I’ll do whatever I can to make sure of that,” I reply.

  “Tell me about this girl you left behind.”

  “Man, Axe, she’s the best. The minute I laid eyes on her, I knew she was mine. She’s not only beautiful and sassy, she’s perfection. She kept me on my toes and made me so very fucking happy. I hated leaving her behind, but I was needed here.”

  “There a reason she couldn’t come back with you?”

  “Something’s holding her back, but I did warn her that the next time I came, I wasn't leaving without her. She’s mine, and as soon as I can get away, I’m bringing her back here...where she belongs. She won’t get away from me twice.”

  “Anything we can do to help, let me know. We’ll do whatever we need to do to help you get your girl, even if we just help out by keeping Emma for you while you travel, to going with you if you need to take her with you.”

  “I appreciate it,” I tell him, meaning every word, because these are the best men to have at your back, regard
less of the situation.

  Chapter Six

  Cassarah

  One week later…

  I’m in my car and need to stop for the millionth time to pee. My bladder must have shrunk to the size of a pea once I became pregnant. I’ve never peed so much in my entire life. After using the restroom, I grab some munchies and water and head up to the counter. Not needing gas, seeing as I just filled up a hundred miles ago, and I’m still three-quarters of a tank full, I pay for my purchases and get back on the road. I feel like this is the never-ending road trip, between the stops and being alone with my thoughts, it feels like I’ve been in this car for days instead of hours.

  Once again, the radio station goes out and I hit the seek button so I can get tunes going again. Maybe if I play it loud enough, I won’t obsess over the memories of Elijah that crowd every single thought in my brain. A girl can try, right? The only address he gave me was one to the clubhouse, so I hear my GPS inform me that I need to exit the highway. My nerves are fluttering and I’m nervous about him not being there and having to introduce myself to one of his brothers without him by my side. As I pull through a set of gates, I take in the clubhouse and realize it’s an old school building that’s been updated and I can see they’ve added picnic tables and benches and have beautified the property. Parking the car, I take several deep breaths, my nerves completely shot now. Is it possible to have a nervous breakdown while pregnant? Do I have time to google this? Shaking my head at where my thoughts are going, I get out of my car and the heat and humidity slam into me. Holy hell, it’s hot here. I lock my car and put the keys in my purse and head toward the front door.

  Getting my courage together, I knock on the front door. I wait for what seems like hours before I hear someone walking towards it. I clear my throat getting ready to introduce myself, only I’m shocked when it’s Elijah who answers the door. Instead of saying anything, we look at each other for long moments before he pulls me into his arms and buries his head in my neck. Just as he always has done when he needs comfort from me. I collapse in his arms from relief, seeing him was a shock, but I’m so glad that it was him to welcome me.

  “I’ve missed you, buttercup.”

  “I’ve missed you too, Elijah.”

  “C’mon, let me get you inside and out of this heat,” he says, pulling me into his side. He’s not letting me go and for that, I’m grateful. Looking around, I’m impressed. I wasn’t sure what to expect based on all the books I’ve read but it’s open and clean in here. Yeah, there’s a bar off to the side, but there are comfortable looking couches and a huge-ass television, too. I don’t see any of the women my books reference, which is good too. He leads me to the bar and says, “I’ll grab you a water unless you want something else.”

  “Water’s fine,” I tell him. I notice another man enter the room, he’s good looking, but has nothing on my Elijah.

  “Buttercup, this is Axe, the president of the Rebel Guardians. Axe, this is Cassarah.”

  “This her?” he asks Elijah.

  “Yeah.”

  “Welcome to the family.” Wait, what? What does that mean? I look at Elijah and know he sees the confusion on my face.

  “We’ll talk later, buttercup, okay?” I nod because what else is there to say?

  “Gotta get to the trucking company, we’re doing inventory and I need to make sure Cara doesn’t drive the men and Paisley crazy with her spreadsheets.”

  Elijah laughs and it makes me wonder what exactly I’ve gotten myself into.

  “Elijah,” I say, just as he says my name.

  “You first,” he responds, pulling me into his arms.

  “Um...we need to talk, Elijah.” I see the concerned look on his face and my stomach drops.

  “What’s going on, Cassarah?” he asks.

  “You wanna do this here?”

  “Here, my house, I don’t really care. You’re in my arms and obviously have something you need to talk about, buttercup.”

  “Wherever we can have some privacy is best,” I say, chewing on the inside of my mouth.

  “Stop!” he calls out, shocking me and I jump at the tone of his voice.

  “What?” I ask him.

  “I’m holding on by a thread here, buttercup. If you keep chewing on that lip of yours, I won’t be able to contain myself much longer.” Is he joking right now? I didn’t even realize I was chewing my lip, I thought it was just my inner mouth. He looks at my lips like a starved man, and I know if we go down this road right now, we’ll never get that talk in. “No one is here right now other than us, let’s go sit on the couch and talk. I have a few people at my house right now.” Umm...I can’t help but wonder if these people at his house may be someone he doesn't want me to see there, my mind is all over the place right now. Settle down, Cassarah. He wouldn’t do that to you, I remind myself. But then again, we have been apart for nearly ten weeks at this stage of the game, some men can’t go days let alone weeks without having the affections of another woman. Stop it! I scold myself, fuck what’s wrong with me?

  “Sure, the couch is good,” I reply. We walk over and I practically plop down from exhaustion from all the driving I was doing. “So, how have you been?” I ask him, needing a starting point.

  “I’m doing okay, sweetheart. Now, what did you want to talk about?” His eyes are laser focused on me and I start squirming.

  Deciding to start at the beginning, sort of, I say, “Well, you remember the first time we...y’know...we had sex?”

  “Buttercup, every single time I had my hands, mouth or cock on or in you is permanently ingrained in my memory. So yes, to answer your question, I remember.”

  “Um, when I went to pee, I noticed that I had some come leaking out of me.”

  “What? That’s not possible, we used condoms. Hell, you saw me open a brand-new fucking box, for fuck’s sake!” Okay, this isn’t going well. He’s running his hands through his hair and me, I’m starting to sweat.

  “It is possible. There was a small tear in the condom. I looked because, well, I couldn’t understand. And yes, I saw you open the brand-new box, Elijah.” I take a deep breath because it’s time for the rubber to meet the road. “I’m pregnant,” I state.

  “You’re having my baby?” he asks. Well, at least he’s not like most men thinking that there’s no way it could have been their child, right?

  “Yeah, looks that way. But I wanted to make sure you know that I don’t expect anything from you. I felt you had a right to know.” There, I am making it clear that my expectations are...well, hell, I’m not sure if I made it clear or not.

  “What the hell does that mean, Cassarah?” Uh-oh, growly biker man has shown up, apparently.

  “It means that this was unplanned, and I know it’s hard to take. I wanted to make your options available to you. I can and will do this on my own, but I’d really like it if you were involved in the baby’s life.”

  “There’s no fucking way I’m not gonna be involved, buttercup. Y’hear me? It almost killed me to leave and not bring you back with me. Don’t you realize? I was falling in love with you, baby.”

  “What?” Surely I didn’t hear him correctly. I mean, he was getting over a bad break-up when he was in Montana. There’s no way he’s feeling the same thing I am, is there? “I knew I was falling in love with you, but honestly I thought it was one-sided. I’m just your rebound, Elijah, you don’t need to settle for the first girl you slept with after a long-term relationship.” He jumps up out of his seat and begins pacing the floor.

  “I hadn’t been in love with Ava in a long fucking time! I stayed, yes, but love...oh no! I was trying to do the right thing by her, and now that’s being thrown in my fucking face!” He turns towards me and the anger on his face shocks me, I’ve never seen that look coming from him. There’s a whole different side to him than what I know, and why is it that his anger is turning me on? Is it because I’m believing that what he’s saying could be true?

  “Elijah?”

  “Wh
at?” His response is more of a growl than anything and I lose my train of thought momentarily.

  “I think...I think we need to talk some more, don’t you? I mean, neither of us told the other how we were feeling and it sounds like I was presuming something that’s not the case.”

  “Ya think? I think we definitely got off on the wrong foot here,” he says, hands on his hips.

  Okay, now my attitude’s showing. Standing, I pop out a hip and cross my arms over my chest before saying, “Y’know, if I didn’t care about you so much, I’d walk back out that door and let you stew in your own head. You’re being an ass right now. The bottom line here is I’m pregnant, it’s yours, and I’m keeping it. Whether you’re a part of our lives is totally up to you.” There, that oughta do something, right? Grabbing my purse, I go to leave only to find myself scooped up against him with his face buried in my neck.

  “Nuh-uh, buttercup. You’re not leaving me again.”

  “Don’t want you to feel obligated, Elijah.”

  “I don’t, never will. What I feel is love and devotion, don’t mistake that with me taking care of an obligation.”

  “I’m not her.”

  “And thank God for that! I love you, I cared about her. Until you, I thought I’d known what love is, but you changed my perception on that. Big difference here, I can’t believe you’re having my baby.”

  “Better believe it, Daddy,” I say with a big smile on my face. “Elijah! Stop, I’m gonna get sick if you keep twirling me, I feel like I’m on a tilt-a-whirl ride at the carnival!”