“Isn’t it?”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t need a man. I want a man. A little-known fact about me – well, out here anyway. My friends back in New York used to tease me relentlessly about it… I’m a hopeless romantic. I didn’t crave independence like they all did. I want to find that special gentleman and start a family with him. I sure as sugar wanted that man to be Mr. O’Neill – James.”
Clyde raised an eyebrow. “I thought that subject was off limits.”
“I’ve decided to change the rule, since we’re being so honest and everything.” Millie raised an eyebrow back at him.
“Have you made up your mind about him then?” Clyde asked her.
She rubbed the tip of her tongue against the tops of her front teeth inside her mouth, mulling that over. There still was nothing easy about this situation. “I think I’ve made up my mind about him anyway. It remains to be seen how I feel about living permanently in Ogden, though. Or your proposition.”
“Proposal,” Clyde said with a laugh. “It was a proposal. And it still stands, if you’ll have me. Flute and all.”
She smiled at him, letting the tip of her tongue stick out a bit between her rows of white teeth. He was giving her such a trusting look, a look that said, I know you’re not going to turn me away…
Chapter 11
Staring down at the blank piece of paper before her, Millie was at a loss for what to write. She didn’t know how she was meant to go about this. Surely this was going to ruin everything. James might be so angered by what she had to say perhaps he’d come all the way to Ogden to drag her to Coloma himself. Of course, such a thing would be rather crazy, but she wasn’t sure that it was completely outside the realm of possibility. Men could be awfully hot-headed and possessive… She’d been told.
There was a great deal to be said for being honest, however. He had appreciated her candor so far, in her letters. Though she worried that this would break his heart, why should she be any more afraid to be honest now than all of the previous times? When she’d written about her hopes and dreams? When she’d written the promise to come to California and be his bride?
Oh, she felt wretched.
My dearest James,
I’m afraid that I haven’t been keeping you as abreast of the situation as I indeed should have. I have been in Ogden for a little over a week now and I feel as though a startling and welcome transformation has come over me. I like it here. So much so, that I am not sure that I want to leave. And even more importantly… In the time since my last letter to you was written, I have met a gentleman who dearly wishes to marry me.
Naturally, I told him that I was engaged to be married to you and that I was only in Ogden in the first place because you provided the means for a ticket and transit. I greatly appreciate that. You are the one who has helped me see more of the world and start on the adventure that I had craved for so long. Alas, my darling, I feel that I cannot in good conscience continue on my trek across the country. I’ve decided to stay here now, not only for myself and my own dreams but for this gentleman who loves me and inspires me every time we meet.
I shall not send this letter to you right away, for I have a few more plans for you. Please do not let it ever be said that I was not thinking of your best interests, even when I knew they would hurt you to learn about.
Forever your friend,
Millie
Even though she had managed to complete the letter, it didn’t exactly make her feel better about things. Of course, the letter was only the first part of her plan. She had an idea in her head; she just needed to talk about it with Clyde. After all, he was the cause of all of this.
She safely tucked the letter into its envelope, keeping it open so that she might add to it at a later date, as she promised. Poor, unsuspecting James…
Swinging her legs around, Millie climbed off of the chair in front of her desk in her room. She made her way down the stairs, keeping an eye out for her co-conspirator the whole time. She didn’t see him on the stairs, but then she remembered that he was lodging in the cellar. That still makes little sense to me, she thought. It must be terribly cold down there. And there seem to be plenty of empty rooms here, now that so many people have moved on.
Millie wondered what James would say if he knew that people had indeed been able to leave during the storm. They didn’t rely on the train the way she did, but perhaps she hadn’t needed to either. She wondered if she might have been a great ninny about all of this.
“Is Mr. Roberts about?” Millie asked Diana as the innkeeper poured her a full cup of coffee.
Diana nodded vaguely. “He’s downstairs in the cellar,” she replied. “Doing whatever it is that keeps him occupied most days.”
It was then that Millie realized that the reason Hattie had spoken about him in such mysterious ways was because he was simply a private person. And now that Millie knew why, she had to smile. It was thrilling to be privy to something like that; the story of what made a man tick.
“Say,” she said then to Diana. “Do you happen to know any young, single ladies of about my age?”
Diana didn’t even have to think for too long. “There’s a girl who works with me in the schoolhouse most days,” she said at once. “She’s quite a skilled teacher. Her name’s Suzy Church. …Why do you ask?”
Millie grinned back at her. “Do you think she might be willing to move to Coloma?” she asked. “I think I’ve got a fellow for her to marry.”
“Who’s getting married?” came Clyde’s voice as he opened the cellar door and came out from downstairs.
Giggling a little, Millie shook her head at him. “You’re always coming in at the tail end of conversations. I was just telling Diana that I think I have a good way to appease Mr. O’Neill.”
“You mean besides me paying him back for the railway ticket?”
Millie was floored by that. “Oh!” she cried, shocked. “That might be a better idea, though money won’t mend his broken heart.”
Diana was tilting her head at the two of them now. “You’re not going to Coloma?” she asked, this bit of information finally being new to her.
“Reimbursement for the train ticket is the same as a wedding ring, right, darling?” he asked Millie, getting down on one knee in front of her and taking her hand.
She smiled down at him. “I’ll marry you on Christmas if we can pull this off,” she said, surprising herself by just how excited she sounded.
Diana looked from Millie to Clyde, not quite sure what to think but nevertheless enthusiastic about the proposal that was happening right in front of her very eyes. “I will go and fetch Miss Church!” she said, rushing from the house and nearly forgetting to grab her coat in the process.
Millie watched in amazement as she ran from the house. “I see it’s all well and good to go out into the snow if you’re the innkeeper.”
Clyde laughed. “Do you think you can answer me? My knees might not be what they used to be.”
Millie looked down at him on his knee at her feet. “Oh, you’re still here,” she quipped. “Well, I’ve already written my letter telling James that I intend to stay put here in Ogden. I guess if you really are open to paying him back, and Diana has a girl to introduce him to… There’s no reason for me to say no.”
“Aww, come on, woman!” Clyde said, smiling though his posture deflated a little. He wasn’t going to be pleased with that non-answer, teasing though it was.
“Yes,” Millie replied with a smile. “Yes, of course. Now get up before you hurt yourself.”
Chuckling, Clyde bounded back up to his feet again, seemingly much more nimble now that he had the answer he’d been looking for. He opened his arms to hug Millie and she calmly walked into them, embracing him and feeling a strong sense of ease pour over her. This felt right in a way that nothing ever had in her life before. She didn’t know how she was ever supposed to explain it, but there it was.
She knew and felt to the very core, that she had made the right
decision for herself at long last.
Chapter 12
“I’d never really given much thought to continuing onward to California,” Suzy Church told Millie in what felt like a job interview but was actually a bride interview.
“It helps if you don’t think of it so much as moving somewhere new as much as meeting someone new. I’m sure that your skills as a teacher will be quite important and valuable in Coloma, as well.” Millie didn’t want to put too much pressure on this young woman, but she was, in a way, depending on her. Sure, James would survive if all he was given was the money back for her journey, but she didn’t know how she was meant to live with herself if she just left him essentially at the altar.
Diana smoothed Millie’s hair back and out of her face, pinning it up in the back and making her look like a princess in her white gown. It had been a simple nightgown before, but the skilled ladies had worked together and repurposed it into a wedding dress. Millie found that she didn’t feel too picky about what she was wearing when she married Clyde Roberts, as long as she married him.
“What is this gentleman like?” Suzy asked Millie as the ladies continued to get ready in Millie’s bedroom.
Clyde and some of the other gentlemen had already headed off to the small chapel that thankfully wasn’t very far from Diana’s inn. As some kind of sign from God surely, the snow had melted quite a bit and the temperature outside felt much more hospitable. Now I’m definitely not just staying here on account of the snowstorm, Millie thought to herself. This is me completely staying because I want to live here with Mr. Roberts – Clyde.
She blushed a bit. Now that we’re getting married, I’m having a harder time thinking of him as just ‘Clyde.’
After hemming and hawing quite a bit – the former literally – Millie had made plans with Clyde to wed at the chapel on Christmas Eve. That gave the ladies plenty of time to finish her gown and the ground plenty of time to thaw and warm up. And it had worked wonders.
“Mr. O’Neill is a very kind man,” Millie told the concerned Suzy. Now that she wasn’t going to marry him, she found it easier to describe him to other people without feeling quite so guilty. “He’s a miner and he’s made quite a bit of money, so you’ll certainly be comfortable. He’s generous and caring, and he’s never judged me for even my most embarrassing confessions.” She smiled at the young teacher. “He never laid eyes on me, but he made me feel so pretty and so special. Surely, he’ll treat you with as much revere, because he seems to be an incredibly honorable man and it’s not in his character to treat a woman any other way.”
Suzy smiled and looked down, bashful.
Just then, the music started and it was their cue to take their places to walk up the aisle. Diana and Hattie were Millie’s bridesmaids; Suzy had been given the honor of being her train attendant, making sure it didn’t get dirty as she walked along the aisle.
Millie walked confidently up the aisle, looking to her left and her right as she went and smiling at all of the friendly well-wishers who were in attendance. Then she looked ahead of her and saw Clyde there next to the minister, looking nervous as all get out but also smiling away like this was the best moment of his life, just looking at her in that dress, coming towards him.
The music stopped when Millie reached the front of the congregation, and Clyde stepped forward to stand at her side. The minister stepped towards them, at the center of their oak wedding arch which was topped by a large, gleaming and golden cross.
“Dearly beloved,” the minister intoned in a kindly voice. “We are gathered here today to celebrate and share in the love and devotion of these two souls who have made the decision before you, myself, and Jesus Christ to join together in holy matrimony. I ask at this time that if there is anyone here who sees a reason why these two shall not be wed, let him speak now or forever hold his piece.”
For a brief moment, Millie wondered if someone might say something, someone who knew the story of how she’d come to Ogden in the first place. But no one spoke. No one made a sound.
“Then we shall proceed,” the minister said approvingly after that moment passed. He looked from Millie to Clyde. “Millicent Elaine Saxton and Clyde Byron Roberts, I pray on this day that you will find peace and strength within each other as well as in yourselves. As it says in Philippians 1:9, I pray that your love for each other will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in your knowledge and understanding.”
The minister now turned to Millie. “Millicent Elaine Saxton, do you take this gentleman, Clyde Byron Roberts, to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, to honor and obey, forsaking all others, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live and until death do you part?”
There was a lot to that vow, but Millie intended to stay true to every word of it. “I do,” she said confidently, turning her head a bit to look into Clyde’s eyes and smiling at him.
The minister turned his attention next to Clyde. “Clyde Byron Roberts, do you take this woman, Millicent Elaine Saxton, to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, to protect and to treasure, forsaking all others, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live and until death do you part?”
Clyde gulped audibly, which made Millie’s smile only grow bigger. The fact that he was this nervous really amused her because he had been so adamant about marrying her. Now that it was a reality, he was practically beside himself. She supposed that it wasn’t every day that a gentleman out West found himself a bride without some sort of assistance…or at the very least, the help of a newspaper advertisement.
“I do,” Clyde finally said, breaking the silence that was deafening to everyone other than Millie.
The minister smiled at the both of them. “Then, by the powers vested in me by the great town of Ogden and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I now proudly pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
The applause began as soon as the minister had finished speaking. Clyde finally got some of his usual bravado back once the minister had pronounced them officially married. He took Millie into his arms and kissed her deeply.
She kissed him back enthusiastically, overcome with joy that she had been able to have some say in her life for a change.
There would be time for more merriment later. Clyde and Millie held hands as they ran back down the aisle, followed by her three ladies in waiting. They all climbed aboard the carriage – driven by Glenn, who had volunteered for the privilege – and they rode off to a destination that few couples immediately ventured to: the train station.
Chapter 13
The train station was fairly empty when they arrived. All of the bothersome snow was gone for the time being, which made it the perfect day to get on the train and get out of Ogden before the next storm hit. Millie knew that winter could be unpredictable, but the sound of trains in the distance proved that she was correct when she made this plan.
She turned to Suzy Church and handed her a stack of letters to Mr. O’Neill. “He’ll understand when you hand him these. We don’t have time to wait for the mail service to deliver these to him. You’ll be able to provide some solace to him right away, when he finds out that I’m not coming.”
“You could pretend to be Miss Saxton if you want,” Clyde offered, winking at Millie. “After all, Millie Saxton doesn’t actually exist anymore.”
“No,” Millie said, shaking her head but smiling slightly at his ridiculousness. “No lies. I want you to tell him the truth. That way whatever happens there for you will be based in honesty from here on out.”
Suzy held the letters to her, nodding and nervous-looking. “Suppose he turns me away?” she asked.
It was a fair question, but Millie knew him better than that. “He won’t. He may not take you straight to the altar as he would have done with me, but he will not abandon you.”
The large, black beast of a train came into the
station. Millie gave Suzy a tight hug to assure her that everything was going to work out. “I feel sort of sisterly towards you, you know,” she added. “I know that I am in your debt now. Please write to me if ever you need anything that you think I can provide for you. At the very least, I’d love it if we were pen-pals.”
Before long, the time came for boarding the train. Clyde helped Suzy with her bags, handing them off to the conductor. He and Millie stood and waved on the platform until the train was rolling steadily away from Ogden.
“I hope this was the right thing to do,” she said to him as they walked back to their carriage. “Are you sure the money we enclosed was enough?”
Clyde took her hand as they walked, smiling at her sweetly. “It was more than enough,” he promised her. “It was enough for him and his new bride to spend on a pretty nice dress, like the one you wore for me.”
Millie blushed. She thought about her final letter to James O’Neill and hoped that that, too, might be more than enough.
Dearest James,
I have no doubt that it is clear to you by now that I am not coming to Coloma to be with you. I hope that you will accept the hand of Miss Suzy Church in my stead. My husband Mr. Roberts has also provided you with the equal amount of funds that you gave me for the journey to California. I only used half of it, but it was money well spent in my case, I promise you.
I pray that you and Miss Church will be most happy together and that you can forgive me for my change of heart. I never meant to cause you any sorrow; I only know that my own heart would have broken if I had been forced to leave Ogden and this wonderful man who I now call husband.
I wish you every happiness that God may grant you.
Always your friend,
Millie Roberts
She hoped that those words to him would suffice. There wasn’t anything else that she could think of that would make it any better for him, but Clyde had a point when he emphasized that she had to think about her own feelings, hopes and dreams, as well.
Annie: A Bride For The Farmhand - A Clean Historical Western Romance (Stewart House Brides Book 3) Page 26