by Nan Dixon
She shook her head.
“Into bed. I’ll be there to tuck you in in a minute.”
She nodded.
He heard noises in the kitchen. What was Josh up to?
The kid stood in the middle of the room opening a can of beer.
“What the hell are you doing?” Nathan rushed over to him.
Josh jumped. The can dropped to the floor and sprayed the counters, the table, Josh and Nathan. The scent of beer filled the air.
Nathan swore. “Where did you get that?”
Josh backed away from him. “The closet.”
Cheryl rarely drank. Grabbing a towel, Nathan wiped at the sticky pool on the floor. “Your mom had beer in the closet?”
Josh slithered closer to the table. “Your closet.”
“What the hel—heck were you planning to do with a beer?”
Josh shrugged.
Nathan rinsed the towel and mopped up the spills. “You aren’t supposed to touch stuff like that.”
“I...I figured you’d want one.” Josh scuffed his toe into the linoleum floor.
The kid was lying. But it didn’t make any sense. Why would he take a beer?
“You need to wash off anything that splashed at you,” Nathan said.
“I will.”
“Do you need calamine?”
“I’ll do it myself.” Josh grabbed something off the counter and stomped out of the kitchen.
“Clean up and hop in bed.”
He glanced up in time to catch Josh sticking out his tongue.
He let it go. Otherwise he’d be tempted to grab the kid by the collar and shake him. They’d all been locked in the apartment too long.
Nathan tossed the empty can in the recycling.
He washed his hands, but the room still smelled of beer. Great. Cheryl would have his head. She wouldn’t be happy with Josh, either. He wiped everything again.
Josh crept into the kitchen.
“You’re supposed to be in bed.” Nathan wrung out the towel and hung it on the hook under the sink.
“I brought back my glass.” It rattled as he shoved it on the counter. Issy’s antihistamine bottle fell to the floor. Josh scooped it up and set it on the counter. “I didn’t get to watch my movie.”
Nathan took in a deep breath. “You lost that privilege when you threw the paint.”
“You’re not the boss of me.” Josh shot out of the room.
Nathan wanted to sink into a chair and hold his head. No. He wanted Cheryl to come home. They could talk about the kids, sit on the sofa and just be with each other. She’d know how to deal with her son.
If they wanted to have a relationship, they had to defuse Josh’s anger.
He pushed away from the counter and popped his head into the kids’ bedroom. Issy was asleep. He didn’t know about Josh, but at least the boy was quiet and still.
Exhausted, he headed to bed. He didn’t care that it was early. Cheryl had invited him to sleep in her bed. He couldn’t wait.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHERYL RUSHED ACROSS the courtyard. She was tired of being cooped up with cranky kids, but she couldn’t wait to get home. To Nathan. Somehow they were on the same page. She didn’t know if he’d fallen in love, but she sure had.
Glancing up, she smiled. The TV’s bluish flicker lit the living room. Tomorrow, she and Josh would talk about Nathan. She rolled her shoulders. The two of them had so much in common. She hoped painting tonight had helped them bond.
When she walked in, her smile turned into a frown. Josh was dozing in front of the TV.
“What are you doing up?” she asked, catching him under his arms.
“I was scared,” Josh mumbled.
“Scared?” She groaned a little under his weight. “Why didn’t you go to Nathan?”
“He scared me.”
Her heart sped up. “What? How?”
“The beer.” Josh hid his head in her shoulder.
“Beer?”
“Yeah.” Josh shook his head. “I didn’t want him to hurt me.”
“Nathan wouldn’t hurt you.” But even she heard the doubt in her voice. Nathan would never hurt them, but he’d also promised not to drink around the kids.
Pain lanced through her chest as she carried Josh to his bedroom, cutting as deep as a knife in a two-tiered wedding cake.
“Get some sleep.” She set him on the ladder.
As he climbed to the top bunk, the odor of beer filled her nose. “Why do you smell like beer?”
“He threw it at me.” Josh rolled over and fell asleep.
Nathan threw a beer at her son? Cheryl’s knees wobbled and she sank onto Issy’s bed. Had she misjudged Nathan and put her son in danger? There had to be an explanation.
But her mother had thrown beer cans at her all the time.
Issy rolled over. “Miss Cheryl?”
“Go back to sleep, honey.” She stroked the little girl’s hair, the only place not covered in spots.
Issy’s eyes closed.
Cheryl’s mouth dropped open. Issy had talked. Nathan needed to know.
She rushed into her bedroom. When she moved to Nathan’s side of the bed, the stench of beer slapped her in the face. Josh had been telling the truth.
Cheryl backed away from the bed. She couldn’t talk to Nathan now.
After everything she’d been through, how could she have fallen in love with a drunk?
She stumbled into the hall. Her elbow banged the bathroom door. As much as she wanted to throw Nathan out of her apartment, that might wake the kids. He could be a mean drunk like Mama.
The harsh bathroom light emphasized the shadows under her eyes. She set her hands on the counter and leaned on them. She’d thought they’d had something special.
A bottle slipped off edge of the counter. She picked it up. Had Nathan given Josh his antihistamine? She didn’t want her son suffering because Nathan couldn’t stop drinking.
She pushed the bottle back, then looked more closely and frowned. Why was Isabella’s antihistamine in the bathroom? Had Nathan screwed this up, too?
She inhaled. What if Isabella had taken Josh’s dose?
She started back to the bedroom to ask Nathan, then stopped. If he’d been drinking, would he even remember? Instead, she dashed into the kitchen and called Poison Control.
“Slow down, ma’am,” the woman said. “Tell me how much you were giving each child.”
Cheryl went through all the information, forcing herself to take deep breaths so she could be understood.
The woman’s keyboard clacked. Cheryl’s fingers drummed against the table. Both bottles sat in front of her. How could Nathan have done this to her? To them? They’d been a team. Her heart ached like he’d pounded it with his hammer.
“With the minimal difference in doses, one dose isn’t a problem.” The woman rattled off warnings.
“Thank you.” Cheryl collapsed into the chair.
Everything was heavy. Her head. Her hands. Her heart. Just shutting off her phone almost took more energy than she could summon.
Using the table for leverage, she pushed out of the chair and lurched into the living room. On the sofa she curled into a ball and pulled a throw over herself.
A tear slipped down her cheek. She had to cut Nathan and Isabella from her life. Tomorrow.
* * *
NATHAN OPENED HIS EYES, disoriented. He’d slept in too many places the past week.
Cheryl’s bedroom. He grinned. Today would be a good day. He rolled to her side of the bed.
She wasn’t there and the sheets were cool. Was she already up? She could have woken him. He wouldn’t have minded.
He tugged on his shorts. Lord, they still stunk
of beer. Then he peeked in on the kids. Still sleeping.
He should shower, but he would just have to put on his beer-sprayed clothes.
Why had Josh grabbed the can? Was it just a case of a kid wanting something he couldn’t have? Or had Josh planned to make trouble?
Heading to the kitchen to start coffee, Nathan spotted Cheryl on the sofa. He stopped, drinking in her face.
In sleep, her worry lines were smooth. Her blond hair was a delightful mess, falling out of her bun.
She must have been so exhausted she’d crashed on the sofa. She did so much for everyone. Hell, she’d helped make him a father.
He knelt and smoothed her forehead with his thumb, stroking the hair off her face. Still she slept.
He loved her. He’d always made sure people didn’t get too close, afraid they’d see his flaws. Cheryl had seen, embraced and accepted them. Amazing.
Leaning in, he kissed her. Her lips went soft beneath his and she gasped. He took advantage of her open mouth and explored. She tugged until he lay on top of her.
When he came up for air, he murmured, “I missed you last night.”
“Mmm.” Cheryl’s eyes were still closed.
“Why don’t we take this somewhere else? I’d rather the kids not get an eyeful.”
“Nathan. Nathan?” Her eyes snapped open. She pushed on his chest. “You stink of beer.”
“Yeah. There’s a story behind that.” But he didn’t want to rat on her son. He wanted to make love to her. “The good news is, I want to get rid of both of our clothes.”
He rolled to his feet and held out his hand. Instead of taking it, she wrapped her arms around her knees. “No.”
“Kids are still asleep. I just checked.”
She closed her eyes. “We’re through, Nathan.”
“What are you talking about?” Through kissing?
“You mixed up the kids’ dosages.”
“What?”
“Last night. Issy’s medicine was in the bathroom.” Her tone was flat.
“I...I didn’t move anything.”
“How would you know? You were drinking. Around the kids.” She took in a deep breath. “We’re done.”
“I wasn’t drinking!”
“Right.” She sniffed. “Don’t lie.”
“I smell like this because your perfect son spilled the beer.”
“You were drinking last night.”
“No!” He clenched his fists. “Josh stole a can out of my closet.”
She stood. “You’re calling my son a thief?”
“Hang on.” He wanted to stop the train that was barreling down on him. “Josh threw paint on the floor and got in trouble. He must have found the beer in the closet when I sent him to get paper towels.”
“You were dumb enough to let a six-year-old in a closet that had alcohol in it? Are you stupid?”
Stupid. “I was thinking your brat of a son threw paint all over my daughter’s room and needed to clean it up. Can I help it if he’s so badly behaved he pulled out something he shouldn’t touch?” He should stop talking. He was saying things he didn’t want to say. But he couldn’t shut up. Cheryl had called him stupid.
“Josh said you threw the beer at him.” Her arms were crossed. Her face was stony. He’d seen love there just yesterday. Now he saw disbelief.
“He lied.” He threw up his hands.
She flinched.
“Jesus. You think I would hit you?”
“No.” She released a deep breath. “But I didn’t think you would drink, lie and put my son in danger.”
“I’m not lying. I thought we had something.” He shook his head. “You were just waiting for me to screw up. If this is what falling in love is about, it stinks.” He trudged into the hall. “I’ll wake Issy and we’ll get out of your life.”
“Oh. Oh.”
Her tone stopped him. He turned around, praying she’d changed her mind.
“When I checked on the kids last night, Issy spoke.”
He grabbed the wall to stay upright. “What?”
“She said ‘Miss Cheryl.’ I almost didn’t realize it.” She curled a little deeper into herself.
“Good.” His voice was full of gravel. He forced himself to walk into Josh’s bedroom and scoop up his daughter.
He wanted to run and bury his head in Cheryl’s hair and cry.
But he couldn’t take any more rejection.
* * *
IT WAS THE right thing to do. Cheryl filled the coffeepot. She wasn’t in the mood for coffee, but since Nathan had been around, she’d formed the habit.
Josh wouldn’t lie to her.
“I heard yelling,” Josh said, yawning.
“Mr. Nathan and I were discussing something.”
Josh’s eyes went wide. Under the red spots, his face went pale.
“How are you feeling?” She put her hand on his forehead.
“I’m okay.” Josh scurried out from under her hand and took his place at the table. “Hungry.”
She gathered up a bowl and cereal. “You sure your stomach feels okay?”
He nodded, staring into his bowl while she poured his cereal and milk. “Where’s Issy?”
“With her father,” she said.
His eyes got bigger.
“Do you want toast?” Cheryl fought down a feeling of dread.
Josh nodded, shoveling cereal into his mouth.
“Did you throw paint in Issy’s room?” she asked, biting her lip. She wanted Nathan to be the liar, not Josh.
“The bu—”
“Josh,” she warned.
Her son’s face twisted in a scowl. “You called and he wouldn’t let me talk to you.”
She set her hand on his shoulder. “I was working.”
“I wanted to talk to you.” The stubborn set of his jaw reminded Cheryl of Brad, adding one more layer of pain to the ache in her gut.
“Did anything else happen last night?” she asked. This time she didn’t want to look at Josh. She headed to the coffeepot.
“No.” The answer was abrupt.
“What about the spilled beer?”
“I...” He shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “He threw it.”
Her heart banged in her chest. “Josh, did you take a beer out of Nathan’s closet?”
He shoveled in more cereal. His eyes filled with tears. He shook his head so hard his hair flew around his face.
Cheryl scooted a chair next to him. She tipped his head up, forcing him to look her in the eye. “Telling a lie is the worst thing you can do, right?”
Tears spilled down Josh’s cheek. He tried to turn his head, but she wouldn’t let him.
Where had she gone wrong? How had she failed her son? She’d tried so hard to mold him into a good man.
She’d just pushed away another good man. Nathan. He’d told the truth.
“Josh?” She kept her voice even, though she wanted to scream.
“I took it. But...he made me mad.”
“What happened?”
“I...” Josh crawled into her lap and buried his wet face in her neck. “I wanted him to get in trouble.”
She hugged him, hard. “And Mr. Nathan never drank the beer? Never threw it at you?”
He shook his head against her neck. Oh, no—had Josh done something with the antihistamines?
“Did you touch the medicine bottles?”
“What?” Josh kept his face hidden.
“You heard me.”
“Yes,” came his tear-filled whisper.
“What did you do?” Cheryl’s chest ached.
“I mixed them up.” His shoulders shook.
Oh, God. The things she’d said
to Nathan. The horrible accusations she’d made. “Did you take the right dose last night?”
He nodded. “I’m sorry, Mommy.”
What was she supposed to do? He had to be punished. There wasn’t much to take away. His art? Nathan might have ideas, but she’d burned that bridge. “You’ll have to be punished.”
“Mr. Nathan already took away my movie last night and made me go to bed.”
She sighed. “That was because you threw the paint.”
He rubbed his runny nose on her shoulder.
“I’ll have to think about your consequences.” She made him look her in the eye. “And you’ll apologize to Mr. Nathan.”
Josh stuck out his bottom lip. “Why?”
“What you did was wrong. I can’t let that go.” Josh wasn’t the only one who’d been wrong. “I need to apologize to Nathan, too.”
Would he accept their apologies? She wished she could turn back time. Too bad that wasn’t possible.
* * *
NATHAN HOISTED ISSY a little higher on his hip. “Let’s go check on Abby’s restaurant.”
He and Cheryl had planned to split time with the kids today. She would have watched them in the morning and he would have taken the afternoon. Of course, the plan to take both kids to Issy’s psychologist appointment may have to be postponed because of the chicken pox. Calling the doctor’s office was on the morning’s agenda.
Swinging his daughter around, he carried her piggyback down the stairs. Stopping in the closest bathroom, he admired the wall tile. It was light gray and complemented the charcoal-gray flooring.
Jed looked up from where he was troweling. “Hey, Issy. You have pink freckles.”
She giggled and held out her arms. Nathan hoped having her on his back kept her far enough from the other man that they wouldn’t risk contagion.
“You’re polka-dotted.” Jed pointed. “Have you been playing in paint?”
She giggled again. “No,” she murmured.
Nathan gasped. He swung her off his back and enveloped her in a bear hug. The pain in his heart eased a little. Issy was talking.
Something in his life had to go right. If he had nothing else, he had his daughter and his family. His parents and brother had never meant as much to him as they did now that he was trying to figure out how to be a daddy.
He and Jed talked through the day’s work. “If you need me, call.”