Wolf at the Door: Salvation Pack, Book 1

by N. J. Walters

  She licked her lips and moved closer with her hand out. “May I?” She wanted to touch his fur so badly, to see if it was as soft as it looked.

  He dipped his head and she took that for a yes.

  Her hand was shaking as she lowered it to his head, but not from fear. Adrenaline rushed through her veins caused by pure, unadulterated excitement. She was actually about to touch a werewolf. She, who had written about such things for years but never truly believed in any of it.

  Her fingers grazed his head between his pointed ears. They twitched, but other than that, he remained still. “You’re incredible.” She let her hand flow over his thick neck to the top of his shoulder. Thick muscle rippled beneath a heavy fur pelt. The flow of fur between her fingers was an erotic caress that sent a shiver up her arms. Her nipples tightened beneath her sweater and she was glad for the darkness that was quickly deepening.

  Jacque’s tongue came out and swiped at her wrist. She jerked away in surprise at the unexpected caress and then laughed nervously. He tilted his head and watched her. She had the feeling her reaction disappointed him.

  “You just took me off-guard. It’s okay.” Gwen touched his muzzle. His head moved quickly, his jaws opening and closing around her hand. Sharp teeth pressed against her flesh but he didn’t break the skin. His hold was very controlled, much like the man was. She sensed this was a test of sorts and stood there waiting patiently.

  He gradually released his hold on her and licked her palm. The rough texture of his tongue tickled her skin and she closed her hand.

  Jacque tilted back his head and howled. The long, lonely sound echoed in her heart and mind, reverberating in her soul. After a moment, the other wolves followed suit, adding their voices to the wild chorus, filling the night air with their music.

  It stopped as suddenly as it had begun. Jacque leaned forward and butted his head against her stomach before he settled beside her. One by one, starting with Louis, the other wolves came to stand before her.

  She touched all of them on their heads except for Cole. With him, she held out her hand and waited for him to move his head beneath her palm and touch it. She instinctively sensed he didn’t like to be touched without permission, and in that way, he was different from the others.

  Of course, they were all very different and distinct, each one dealing with internal and external wounds. They’d left behind their pack, their families and homes to move to a new place and start a new life. It would take a powerful reason for them to do that. From all she’d learned and witnessed over the years, wolves were pack animals, and it seemed werewolves were no different.

  She’d seen how they were with one another—a manly pat on the shoulder, a hug, a cuff on the head. They were constantly touching in some way. Except for Cole, who stood back from the others more.

  She’d been starved for affection her entire life and yearned for the kind of acceptance these men had found with one another.

  “Thank you.” The words were inadequate, but they were all she had. “I promise you that your secret is safe with me. I’ll never tell a soul about any of you.” She wanted them to understand she would protect them as they were protecting her.

  A fierce need welled up within her, a need to guard these special men, and especially Jacque. They were important to her in ways she couldn’t really put into words. She only knew she’d die to keep them safe. They were remarkable and deserved to have a life of peace.

  Jacque butted his head against her, knocking her back a step. “Hey.” She put her hands on her hips and scowled at him. The wolf’s mouth opened and his tongue hung out of his mouth, showing quite a few sharp, white teeth. She had the impression the devil was laughing at her.

  He nuzzled her chest, his nose brushing against one erect nipple. She didn’t think it was an accident. She grabbed his head and leaned down, only to have her lips licked.

  She pulled back, sputtering. “Wolf kisses,” she muttered. The other wolves were watching intently, but she could sense they were enjoying watching Jacque tease her. She scowled at the lot of them. “I need coffee. And maybe something chocolate.” Maybe that would settle the combination of arousal and jumpiness within her.

  Jacque whirled away and trotted to the woods, swallowed up immediately by the trees and brush. Louis gave a yip and followed his brother, leaving her alone with the other three.

  “I’m going in.” She picked up the gun and the extra ammunition, went up the stairs and opened the back door. At the last second, she held it open. “You coming?”

  One of the three wolves trotted up the steps and into the kitchen and vanished from sight while the other two disappeared around the side of the cabin. She shook her head, knowing no one would believe this if she told them. Gwen stepped into the kitchen and closed and locked the door. She leaned against the wood panel, resting her forehead against it. Her lips still tingled where Jacque had licked them. She touched her mouth and smiled in spite of herself. Her wolf was a bit of a scoundrel.

  Her smile quickly faded. Jacque wasn’t her wolf. He wasn’t her anything. He couldn’t be. There were too many insurmountable obstacles in their way and she’d eventually have to leave.

  She pushed away from the door, set the weapon, spare clip and ammunition on the table and went to stand before the window that looked out over the backyard. She couldn’t see much beyond the porch, which was now wreathed in shadows. She put her hand on the glass, wishing it were Jacque she was touching.

  No, she’d have to leave eventually, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t embrace what was in front of her. She had feelings for Jacque. In the short time she’d known him, he’d found a way into her heart.

  What a coward she was. She laughed aloud, but it was a sad, bitter sound. She loved him. There was no denying it. She’d be a fool not to get as much enjoyment as she could, to make as many memories as possible in their time together. She’d have to live a lifetime in a matter of weeks or months. She had no idea how long she’d be with Jacque, but it was definitely finite.

  But there would never be another love for her. She’d almost died at the hands of an intruder the other night. Her life could have ended without her ever having embraced true love. She had no idea how Jacque felt about her. Yes, he was attracted to her. Of that, there was no doubt. She knew he would protect her with his life. Maybe it wasn’t a last-forever kind of love, but it was more than enough.

  Gwen resolved to stop being afraid of emotional pain. When her father left when she was a child and her mother had become emotionally distant, she’d blocked her heart up, erecting walls to keep others from hurting her. What she hadn’t realized until now was that she’d also locked herself in, keeping herself from experiencing true friendship and love.

  Someone cleared his throat behind her. The reflection in the glass made her smile. Poor Gator. He looked uncomfortable with his hands stuffed in the front pockets of his jeans. She took pity on him, turned and smiled.

  He returned her smile and heaved a sigh of relief. Had he thought she was upset by everything she’d witnessed? She was, but she’d keep it to herself. Here was a man who wanted to be her friend, who’d cooked for her and fought for her.

  “Would you like some coffee?” She bustled to the counter and grabbed the carafe. She started to fill it with water.

  “Yeah. I’d like that. And I have just the thing to go with it.” Gator went to the freezer and pulled out a wrapped bundle. He held it up triumphantly. “Coffee cake. I baked several last week and froze one of them. Won’t take but a few minutes to thaw it in the microwave. It’s not chocolate, but it’s close.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  The two of them worked side-by-side in companionable silence. The coffee was brewing and the cake was thawed when she heard the front door open.

  Gator snorted. “Knew those two couldn’t stay away. They love their stomachs too much.”

  Sure enough, Armand appeared, followed quickly by Cole. “Coffee cake.” Armand sniffed, his laser gaze h
oming in on the plate in Gator’s hands.

  “Gwen gets to take as much as she wants first. Then me. You two can have the leftovers.”

  She almost laughed at the disgruntled expression on Armand’s face. “There’s plenty,” she assured him, and he gave her a grateful smile.

  When they were all seated around the table with coffee and cake, she decided she had more questions. “Jacque and Louis live here, right?”

  Gator nodded as he swallowed a piece of cake.

  “Where do the rest of you live?”

  Gator took a sip of coffee. “There’s another cabin just beyond the clearing out front. It’s about two minutes beyond the trees to the right. There’s a path there. I’ll show you tomorrow. The three of us share it, but we eat most of our meals here.”

  She took a bite of the coffee cake and almost moaned out loud. If she was here very long she was going to gain weight. Gator was a phenomenal cook. She thought about the three men seated around the table with her all living together. It fascinated her that three grown men would live together by choice. Or maybe it wasn’t by choice at all, but by necessity. “Is it because you didn’t have the time or resources to build individual homes?”

  Armand looked at her as though she’d lost her mind. “We’re pack. We live together.”

  She frowned, trying to understand. “Then why do Jacque and Louis have their own place? Why didn’t you simply build one big place?”

  Gator swiped up the last piece of cake and popped it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “Jacque is the alpha of this pack. This will become the seat of power when he mates and has children. Louis will stay with them until he mates.”

  “I see.” Gwen managed to smile weakly though the almost debilitating pain that rushed through her at the thought of Jacque mating and having children with some nameless, faceless female. Of course he’d want a family and children, to grow his own pack. He had a long life left to live. He wouldn’t want to do it alone.

  “Gwen—” Gator began, but she cut him off.

  “So when you all mate you’ll build your own homes.”

  Armand nodded as he sipped his coffee. “Yes. We built two homes for now. That’s all we needed. We own about five-hundred acres of land here. We’ll expand when necessary.”

  She felt all their eyes on her. Gone was the easy camaraderie of earlier. She wished she’d never asked about their housing situation. It was a kick of reality, a reminder that she was temporary, not really one of them.

  She pushed away from the table and took her mug and plate to the counter. She opened the dishwasher and loaded her dishes into it, taking the time to compose herself.

  This new information changed nothing. She knew her time here was short, knew Jacque would be mated and have children long after she was dead and buried. His lifespan was so much longer than hers their time together couldn’t end any differently.

  She was still determined to grab every bit of happiness she could in the time she had with him. She took a deep breath and put a smile on her face. “Thank you for the coffee cake and company. And thank you for sharing your wolves with me. I’m honored.”

  “Gwen…” Armand trailed off.

  She shook her head. “I’m going to bed now. I’m tired.” That was no word of a lie. She was suddenly exhausted.

  She headed toward the hallway but stopped when Cole called her name. She was surprised that he’d spoken at all. “Don’t forget this.” He ejected the empty magazine from the gun and popped in the full one. He made sure the safety was on and handed it to her. “Keep it close at all times.” He opened the box of ammunition and began to load the empty clip.

  “Thank you.” She took the weapon from him.

  He inclined his head but said no more. The room was silent as she left them to finish their coffee without her.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Gwen couldn’t sleep. As much as she wanted to it was still too early and the bed was simply too big and lonely without Jacque. Somehow she’d gotten used to sleeping with him wrapped around her. She was going to need one heck of a body pillow when she left him. Maybe two.

  The other men were long gone. She’d heard them leave about a half hour ago and had spent that time staring at the ceiling thinking. Not good. There were simply too many thoughts colliding with one another for anything to make much sense.

  “Enough.” Gwen threw back the covers and got out of bed. She was wearing a pair of navy cotton pajama bottoms with little stars and moons on them and a plain white T-shirt. Comfort was key for her.

  She padded to the door and opened it slowly just in case she’d miscalculated and one of the men was still out there. She liked them all, but she didn’t want to face any of them right now, not with their last conversation still ringing in her ears.

  She listened carefully and heard nothing but the hum of the refrigerator. The coast was clear. It felt strange to be in the house alone, without Jacque or one of the others around. “You’re used to being alone,” she reminded herself as she made her way into the office.

  The light from the hallway illuminated the table with her laptop and files stacked neatly on top. She didn’t look too closely at the piece of furniture. The memories of what she and Jacque had done here were still too close to the surface and her body began to hum with desire.

  Unacceptable. She had to start guarding her heart. It might be too late to keep herself from falling in love with Jacque, but that didn’t mean she had to keep being stupid. She needed to start protecting herself from the inevitable hurt that would come when it was time for her to go.

  “Stop it.” She plunked down into the chair someone, probably Jacque, had placed in front of the table, leaned forward and turned on the desk lamp. A warm, mellow glow covered her workspace.

  The urge to bang her head against her makeshift desk was overwhelming. One minute her brain was warning her to protect herself from emotional hurt, never mind the physical threat she was under from outsiders. The next her heart was urging her to give herself to Jacque without reserve. It was enough to give a girl a headache.

  She took a deep breath and swore. She’d forgotten the gun.

  The house was probably the safest place for her to be as protective werewolves surrounded it. Still, Jacque had given her the weapon for a reason.

  She pushed out of her chair and hurried back to the bedroom. The gun was sitting on the nightstand where she’d left it. She grabbed it and carried it back to the office, placing it gingerly on the table next to her laptop.

  She fired up her computer and organized her files while she was waiting. “Let’s see what’s happened in the world since you’ve been away.”

  Surprisingly, not that much email had accumulated in her inbox. There was the large contingent of junk mail, which always made her laugh with their promises to improve her sex life or to inform her she’d won the lottery. That was quickly sent to the trash bin.

  There was a letter from an editor of one of the magazines she wrote for on a regular basis inviting her to submit a proposal for their special spring issue. Spring was months and months away, but that’s how it went in the magazine business, as you were always working a season or two ahead. Come to think of it, she had a piece in their special October issue, which should be in her mailbox back in Wayman’s Peak, along with a few paychecks she’d been waiting on. She really needed to get her mail. Maybe she could get it forwarded. She’d have to check on that.

  It didn’t take her long to deal with her outstanding email. She agreed to write a piece for the editor because she was going to need every penny she could get if she was going to move.

  And speaking of moving, she took a deep breath and Googled the local realtor in Wayman’s Peak. She checked out his website and was satisfied with what she saw there, so she sent him a quick email asking if he would be interested in selling her Aunt’s house. Well, it was hers really, but she hadn’t lived there long enough for it to feel like hers.

  The thought depressed her. She�
�d always wanted a home, a place where she felt as though she belonged.

  Maybe she’d use the proceeds of the sale to buy a new house in a rural area of another state. Maybe she’d live off the money from the sale and write her book. That was assuming she could actually sell the place considering the housing market was almost at a standstill in that area. She’d cross her fingers and hope for the best.

  She pulled up a couple of stories she was working on but couldn’t summon any enthusiasm for them. Gwen closed the documents and clicked on her book file. She’d barely started it, but she had character outlines, a vague plot summary and a bunch of ideas for scenes. She’d written the first chapter so far. It didn’t take her long to lose herself in the story and she quickly reread the first twelve pages.

  Funny how the more she read, the more the werewolf in her tale had come to resemble Jacque in her mind. She shook her head and put her hands on the keyboard. Closing her eyes, she let her imagination drift. This was a story, not reality, and the characters were of her making. She had control here.

  Her eyes popped open and her fingers began to fly on the keyboard. Her hero was about to get a rude awakening if he thought he could boss around her heroine. No too-stupid-to-live heroine for her. No, she was going to write a kickass heroine, one who would give the alpha wolf a run for his money.

  Gwen lost herself in her work, in the story. It was a safe place for her to disappear for a few hours, far safer than the world she now found herself inhabiting.

  Frustration ate at Jacque as he loped back to the house. The grounds were quiet, but his blood was thrumming, warning him something wasn’t right. He stopped just beyond the back yard and shifted, letting go of his wolf form and embracing the human side of himself. He stretched his arms over his head and turned to greet his brother.

  “How are things?” What Jacque really wanted to ask was how Gwen was, but he didn’t want to rub his brother’s nose in the fact that he’d won the right to be with her. Louis saw right through his question.