“He’s never done anything like this before,” said Freya.
Carey laughed. “I hope not!”
“You know what I mean.” Freya’s voice was cool again. “He usually takes ages about making up his mind. Weighs up all the pros and cons. He doesn’t rush into things.”
“I do love him,” repeated Carey. “He loves me too, Freya. I know he does. And I know we can make it work.”
“I hope you’re right,” said Freya.
“Tell me about the girlfriend.” Carey adjusted the pearl comb in her curls.
Freya frowned.
“I’ve met her,” Carey added. “Short. Black hair. Absolutely stunning.”
“I’m sorry about Leah.” Freya sounded genuinely contrite. “It’s my fault that she’s here. She’s my friend too and I invited her. It was stupid.”
“How serious was it?” asked Carey.
Freya looked uncomfortable. “I thought it was more serious than he did,” she told her. “And so did Leah. But Brian told me that it wasn’t serious at all. At least not as far as Ben was concerned.”
“They were together for a long time?”
“On and off,” said Freya.
“Are you being diplomatic?” asked Carey.
“No.” Freya sighed deeply. “It was an off and on thing, but I suppose most of us thought it would end up being on. And I was surprised it didn’t and — I have to tell you — disappointed.”
Carey swallowed hard. “Thanks for being so honest with me.”
“I didn’t want to like you,” said Freya. “Because of how he married you and because of Leah too.”
“There’s no need to be too honest,” Carey tried to joke.
“But I know why he fell for you,” said Freya. “You’re very different — from Leah and from me. And I suppose that’s what attracted him.”
“You think the attraction will wear off?” asked Carey edgily.
“Not necessarily,” said Freya. “I don’t suppose that has to happen. I just…” Her voice trailed off and she looked up as Sylvia and John approached them.
“Hi,” said Carey brightly, both annoyed and relieved at their arrival. “Have you met? This is Ben’s sister, Freya.”
She chatted with them for a few minutes, then disappeared in search of the Ladies’. She wanted to be on her own for a while. She felt raw from her encounter with Freya, who clearly believed that Ben had made the biggest mistake of his life. Did everyone, she wondered as she pushed open the door. Were they all waiting for her to fail?
The rest area was as ornate as everywhere else. Carey sat down in a gilt and maroon velvet chair and closed her eyes. What was the real story about the ex-girlfriend? she asked herself. It was clear from her conversation with Freya that Leah had been an important fixture in Ben’s life. But it was over. So why had she come tonight? Carey knew that no matter how terrible she’d feel about her ex-boyfriend getting married to someone else, she wouldn’t turn up at the wedding. It was ridiculous. Unless she planned to create a scene.
Carey opened her eyes again. If Leah created a scene, it would be Leah who’d look foolish. She didn’t think that the beautiful girl with the raven hair was a fool. Maybe she’d come simply because she was curious. Even so…Carey shook her head. She’d done some stupid things over men in her past, but she’d never chased one who’d broken up with her. Well, almost never. There had been the incident with Michael O’Dowd where she’d rung his mobile thirty times the day after he’d told her that it was over between them. And she’d waited for him outside the office building where he worked one afternoon simply to see him again and try to make him change his mind. But she wouldn’t have gone anywhere he might be with a new girlfriend. Would she? She nibbled at her fingernail as she thought of driving past Peter Furness’s house in Castleknock the day after he’d admitted that he was married. She’d done it in the hope of seeing Sandra Furness, just to know what she looked like. Maybe it was the same thing.
No it wasn’t, she told herself as she took an emery board out of her bag and began to repair the damage to the nail she’d bitten. She hadn’t tried to meet Sandra. Hadn’t gone places where both of them might be. She’d broken it off with Peter herself, and despite his efforts to get back with her, she hadn’t succumbed. So she was very, very different from Leah.
The door of the Ladies’ opened. Carey slid the emery board back into her bag and took out a lipstick.
“Hello again,” said Leah. “Escaping for a bit of peace and quiet?”
“Just doing a touch-up,” said Carey as she daubed frosted pink over her lips and wondered how it was that she had known that the person coming into the Ladies’ would be Ben’s ex-girlfriend.
“I wish I could wear those pastel colors.” Leah sighed. “But they’re far too insipid on me. That’s why I stick to reds.”
“They suit you,” said Carey.
“Thanks.” Leah took a brush out of her black leather bag and began to run it through her hair. “I like bold colors myself. I think that if I ever do get married I’ll wear scarlet.”
“I’m sure it’d be very appropriate,” said Carey.
“Are you?” Leah put her brush on the table. “Why?”
“I think you’re a scarlet sort of person,” said Carey.
“Not a flimsy white dress sort of person like you?”
Carey glanced down at her white dress. “This was bought for Las Vegas,” she said. “It’s not exactly what I’d wear here, but Ben wanted me to.”
“Oh, Ben!” Leah laughed. “He’s persuasive when he wants to be.”
“Yes,” said Carey, “he is.” She replaced her lipstick in her bag and looked at Leah in the mirror. “So how long have you known him?”
“Ages.” Leah shrugged dismissively.
“And the two of you slept together?” Carey was pleased to see Leah’s cheeks flush.
“Naturally,” she replied. “Strangely, though, we were sleeping together when he married you.”
Carey’s heart thudded in her chest. In fact, she could feel the drum of the beat in her head too, and a hollow sensation in the pit of her stomach.
“Obviously not at the exact time,” she said calmly.
“Obviously. But I wasn’t aware that he was going to America to find a wife when he’d just left my bed.” Leah’s voice was clipped.
“Shit happens.” Carey took out her mascara but replaced it when she realized that her hand was shaking far too much to apply it. Instead she sprayed herself liberally with the latest Giorgio Armani perfume she’d bought in New York.
“And it doesn’t bother you?” asked Leah.
“What?”
“That he was sleeping with me before he found you?”
“I was sleeping with someone before I met him,” said Carey.
“Oh?”
“It wasn’t as though I was hanging around waiting for him to show up.” Carey sprayed the perfume again so that the air was laden with the sweet-smelling scent. “I’ve had lots of relationships. I guess if you meet someone and marry them as quickly as Ben and I did, there’s bound to be a few people who are put out about it. I’m sorry if you were.”
“Not put out,” said Leah. “Just surprised. And concerned.”
“Concerned?”
“For you,” said Leah sweetly. “After all, if he could dump me so easily, where does that leave you?”
“Still married to him.” Carey dropped the perfume bottle back into her bag. “I intend to make it work.”
“I’m sure you’ll do your best,” said Leah. “And I don’t mean to be nasty, it’s just that when your boyfriend comes home married to someone else it does alter your view of him somewhat.”
“I can imagine.” Carey was astonished at how even her voice was when she felt as though she were about to collapse.
“I’ll always be friends with Freya,” said Leah. “And now that I’ve forgiven him, Ben too. I practice alternative therapies. They often recommend me to customers of their sho
ps. And, of course, I’ve given both of them stress massages from time to time.”
Carey held her bag tightly. “I’m sure I’ll manage to de-stress Ben now. But I’m glad that you’ll still be friends with Freya.”
Leah turned from the mirror and faced Carey directly. “Do you really think your marriage will last?”
“Why on earth shouldn’t it?” Carey asked.
“He’s not the settling down sort,” said Leah. “He’s the love ’em and leave ’em type.”
“Maybe with you.” Carey opened the door of the Ladies’. “But certainly not with me.”
Chapter Twelve
KANUKA
A foliage oil with a fresh, bracing scent
Ben ordered a beer from the barman at Oleg’s and gratefully took a large gulp. Vodka and wine were all very well, he thought, but both made him thirsty. Besides, he wasn’t really a spirits drinker; he’d only downed a couple of shots to get into the party mood. He looked across the crowd to see how Carey was getting on, but he couldn’t find her. He hoped she was having a good time. It had occurred to him, as they’d been biting on the bread earlier, that Freya had really taken over the entire event and had forced them into the kind of party that he knew she herself enjoyed. She loved themed nights, quite often held them to promote different products in the shops. But he’d known all week that Carey wasn’t looking forward to it, and it suddenly seemed unfair that she’d had to go through it simply because Freya had thought it was a good idea.
“You’re looking a bit morose for someone who’s married a fine-looking woman!” Brian Hayes stood beside Ben.
“Not at all,” said Ben genially. “Just stepping back from the mayhem a little.”
“It’s fairly buzzing all right.” Brian glanced to where the air traffic control people and the football team were engaged in animated debate, which involved a great deal of shouting and laughter.
“Is Freya enjoying herself?” asked Ben.
“Oh, you know Freya.” Brian grinned at him. “Once she’s organizing things she’s as happy as a pig in the proverbial.”
“That’s what I thought,” said Ben.
“You didn’t want her to do all this?”
“We weren’t expecting quite so much of a do,” said Ben, “but I should’ve guessed, knowing my sister.”
“She means well,” said Brian.
“People who mean well usually drive everyone else up the wall,” Ben told him. “They have you doing all sorts of things that you never wanted to, simply to keep them happy.”
“Freya’s not that bad,” said Brian mildly.
“Not usually,” agreed Ben, “but she got a bee in her bonnet about this party and I wish she hadn’t invited quite so many people.”
“I see Leah is here.”
Ben glanced at Brian, but the other man’s face was expressionless.
“You can imagine what I thought when I heard she was invited,” said Ben eventually. “I really don’t know what Freya was thinking of, and I sure as hell don’t know what Leah was thinking of to accept.”
“She probably wanted to see her replacement,” said Brian.
“I wish everyone didn’t talk about Leah as though we were a permanent fixture and Carey came in and jostled her out of the way,” complained Ben. “Leah was a friend and I know we had an on–off thing going, but I was never going to bloody well marry her.”
“I know that and you know that, but it’s not what Freya thought,” said Brian.
“You talked about it with her?”
“Of course we did.” Brian laughed. “She’ll talk about anyone’s marriage except her own.”
Ben drained his glass and ordered another beer for himself and one for Brian. “Do you want to marry my sister?” he asked Brian when the fresh drinks were placed on the counter.
“I’ve thought about it,” said Brian, “but she seems to have a thing about losing her independence. Mind you, she used to say that she didn’t want to get married because she was afraid it’d put pressure on you.”
“What?” Ben looked surprised. “She told me that she couldn’t be bothered. Or words to that effect,” he added, noticing the slightly hurt expression on Brian’s face.
Brian shrugged. “She thought that you’d feel left out,” he explained. “She’d have a family and you wouldn’t.”
“That’s complete horseshit,” said Ben. “Why on earth would I feel like that?”
“Oh, Ben, she worries about you all the time!”
“That’s ridiculous,” said Ben.
“Yes, I know, but that’s Freya for you.” Brian put his arm on the other man’s shoulder. “Looking out for her baby brother.”
“Her baby brother is thirty-three years old and can look after himself,” snapped Ben.
Brian laughed. “I know. And you’ll have to do a bit of looking out for yourself right now.”
“What d’you mean?”
“I mean that Ex-girlfriend Number One is making her way towards us and she has the kind of gleam in her eye that means she wants to talk to you.”
“Bloody hell.” Ben finished his beer. “I’ve talked to her already tonight and I really don’t want to do it again. Actually,” he confided, “I talked to her before tonight. Met her after we came back from the States. She threw a complete wobbler and told me that I couldn’t treat her like this and that I’d be sorry.”
“Fuck.”
“My sentiments exactly,” said Ben.
“You think she might try to cut your balls off or something?”
Ben paled. “Surely not.”
“You’ll find out soon enough.” Brian stood to one side as Leah joined them. “Hi, Leah,” he said casually. “Having a good time?”
“Surprisingly so.” She smiled sweetly at Brian and then took Ben’s arm. “Come on, Ben. Spend a few minutes with me.”
Ben grimaced as Brian drew his fingers slowly across his throat and walked off in search of Freya.
“You look worried.” Leah laughed, and leaned closer to him. He caught the familiar scent of her perfume, a white musk which she usually wore.
“Why did you come?” he asked.
“You asked me that already,” she reminded him. “And I gave you the very plausible and accurate answer that I was curious to see the woman you married. I wouldn’t have been human if I wasn’t curious.” She looked at him quizzically. “Are you still afraid I’ll make a scene?”
“Not really.” He shook his head. “Sorry, Leah. I’m feeling a bit distracted right now. It’s been a hectic day, I’ve had too much to drink, and I guess I’m just being stupid.”
“That’s all right.” Her soft hair brushed against his face. “All of us say stupid things from time to time. Do stupid things too.”
“Stop analyzing me.” He leaned his head against the wall.
“I can’t help it,” she said. “I know you so well, you see. And I can tell that you’re stressed out right now. I’m not surprised. Getting married is really high on the stress-o-meter, you know.”
“Getting married wasn’t stressful,” said Ben. “Being married is.”
“Is it?” Leah looked at him with interest.
“You have to get used to someone’s ways,” he said. “You’re not on your own anymore. So that can be stressful. And tonight — tonight is unexpectedly stressful.”
“Why?”
“Neither of us was mad about the idea of a party,” said Ben, “and Carey was nervous about meeting Freya. She doesn’t think my sister likes her very much.”
“Freya just feels left out,” said Leah loyally. “I don’t blame her.”
“Neither do I,” said Ben. “But she’ll have to get used to it.”
“So will I.” Leah brushed her hair from her eyes. “I have to apologize to you again, Ben, for the coffee shop. I don’t know what came over me. I was in shock myself.”
“It’s OK.” He smiled at her. “I understand. Although I’m not sure the people in the café ever will.”
“Friends?” asked Leah.
“Of course friends,” said Ben.
“Good.” She tilted her mouth towards his so that it was almost inevitable that they kissed. He could taste the cherry lipstick on her lips. She touched the side of his face and drew him closer to her. He felt the heat of her body through her red silk dress. It was amazing, he thought, how different the kiss of two women could be. It was amazing how different the feel of them could be, the scent of them could be. Yet both of them were good at kissing. Both of them seemed to know what he liked. Gently, he pushed her away from him and she smiled up at him, her hands still resting on his shoulders.
“Friends,” she whispered again.
Ben wiped the cherry lipstick from his mouth and nodded wordlessly.
Carey’s arms were turning an interesting shade of mottled blue. She knew that coming outside in sub-zero temperatures had been extremely silly, but she’d been so shaken after her encounter with Leah that she hadn’t been able to remain in the restaurant. So she’d walked down the gravel pathway and out onto the main street, where she’d stood shivering in the icy wind while she tried to get things into perspective. She told herself that it didn’t matter how Leah felt about Ben, it was how Ben felt about Carey herself and their marriage that was important. It didn’t matter that Leah and Ben had slept together — given that they’d been in a relationship it’d be more worrying if they hadn’t. It mattered a bit that they’d still been in that relationship, sleeping together, when she’d first met Ben. It worried her that he hadn’t said anything about it because it reminded her, uncomfortably, of how Peter Furness hadn’t said anything about Sandra when she’d first met him. But this was different. Ben and Leah weren’t married and Ben was perfectly entitled to dump her and marry whoever he wanted. Even if to the objective observer that did seem a bit callous. She didn’t like to think of Ben as callous. She liked to think of him as perfect.
Well, nobody’s perfect, she thought as she turned back towards the restaurant. We all make mistakes. It’s how we get on with the rest of our lives that matters. Suddenly she jumped in shock as a figure moved out of the shadows at the gateway and into her path.
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