by Jessica Kapp
“How long have you been here?” I ask Mary.
She strokes the head of yarn on her doll. “A few months.”
“Do you like it?”
“Oh yes!” Her smile pops out but is gone almost immediately. “I mean, it’s not the same as having a mom and dad, but at least we’re safe.”
We’re safe. Does that mean we’re only safe if we stay? I still have so many questions. How long do we have to be here? What’s my role? Am I supposed to stay hidden beneath this barn until I’m eighteen? Or longer?
Mary’s expression is so innocent that I stuff my questions back into my brain.
“What don’t you like about this place?” I ask, keeping my tone light, but searching for any clues that I should run.
She stares at the doll as if it has the answer, then whispers, “The food isn’t very good.”
I put my hand on her back, feeling her spine straighten. When she grins again, I notice her teeth could use a good brushing too.
“Maybe we should put in a request for bacon,” I say. “That’s supposed to be pretty tasty.”
Mary’s tongue slides across her top lip. “Good idea!” She hops off the bed and makes her doll wave goodbye to me when she leaves.
I take a breath, psyching myself up for the reality of my new life. I’m used to mental pep talks—pushing myself on the last stretch of a run, holding my breath a few extra seconds until it burns so badly my lungs feel like they’re going to explode. I have to get my head right, because it’s not just Mary’s or my life at stake. If the Centers are using kids for harvesting, my friends are next. The more I can assess what I’m up against, the better chance I’ll have to save them.
There’s a small bathroom in the back corner of the room, and I slip inside to change out of my shorts and tank. The T-shirt Gavin gave me is pink with a picture of a cat on the front and writing saying, You’re purrfect just the way you are. Fitting, yet a little disturbing given the situation. The sweats are big, and I have to double knot the tie to keep them from falling down. My legs feel warmer, but my arms are covered in goose bumps as I wander out. I toss the clothes I got from the Center on the bunk and head for the kitchen to ask Gavin more questions, specifically how to help my friends. Except—he’s gone.
I make a beeline for the exit and nearly collide with Ry as he comes back in.
“Where’ya going?” he asks, amused by the run-in.
“Is Gavin outside? I need to talk to him.”
“He’ll be right back.” Ry rests his hand on the doorframe. Maybe Gavin put him in charge of keeping me confined down here.
I peek around him, but the hallway is empty. Darting under his arm, I sprint for the ladder. I climb fast and give the lid a hard shove. The metal clangs against the floor. When I reach the driveway, the van is there, but Gavin’s nowhere to be found.
Ry pops up from the hole and joins me outside.
“I thought you said he left,” I say.
“We only use the van for rescues. Gavin took his truck.”
“Where’d he go?”
“To grab some food for lunch. Craig and Adrian went with him.”
That means I’m stuck with Ry, Mary, the longhaired boy, and the girl with the spiky hair. Ry stands next to me, his face is open and inviting, like I could ask him anything. But something tells me Gavin has the information I’m looking for.
“They’ll be back soon,” he says as we walk back into the barn. “Gavin’s never gone too long.”
“Is he in charge or something?”
“You could say that. But for good reason. If it weren’t for him, you’d be in the slaughterhouse by now.”
A tremor rolls through me and I suck in a shaky breath. The air is stale and smells like hay. It’s fresher than the oxygen below ground, but there’s an ache in my chest, like my lungs are starving for something more. Something I can’t get standing around in a barn. My legs twitch in agreement. “Do you run?” I ask.
“For fun?”
“For health.”
“Give me a second.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small container. Popping off the cap, he takes a tiny white pill out and sets it on his tongue. “Now I’m ready.”
“Are you sick?”
“It’s an endurance pill.”
“For running?”
“You’ll see. Try to keep up.”
We race out of the barn and head down the gravel driveway. When the road curves off to the left, Ry has us hop the fence that surrounds the field. The grass whips my pant legs until we hit the trees at the end of the property. The second we’re in the evergreens, Ry takes off.
He’s fast. Too fast. He tears through the path like a wild animal on the hunt, and my legs burn trying to keep pace. I didn’t peg him for a runner.
He slows and turns, not a speck of moisture on his brow. “Ready for more?” he says, speeding back up.
I struggle to keep up, and when I round a corner where the trail bends like an elbow, he’s gone.
I stop and lace my fingers above my head. “Ry?”
He jumps out from behind a tree and my leg jerks out to kick, stopping halfway when I see it’s him.
He slaps his thighs and laughs.
“Sorry,” I say. “It’s instinct.”
“Ah, so that’s what happened to Adrian.”
I shrug. Ry has speed, but I’m probably stronger. I wipe the sweat from my temple. “How’d you get so fast? You don’t even look tired.”
“I told you.” He reaches into his pocket, pulling out the tube of pills. “Endurance.”
“Oh crap.”
“I’ve got more. You can have one.” He pops the lid.
“No, it’s not that. I just realized I haven’t taken my heart medication. I’m supposed to take one every morning.” I don’t have my bag anymore, which means I don’t have my pills. I shoved a few in the pocket of my shorts when I compared mine to Ms. Preen’s. Hopefully, they’re still there.
“Heart meds? I’ve got just what you need. Do you remember what your pill looks like?” He pours the pills into his hand and separates them with his finger. They vary in size and color.
“It’s a pale green tablet with a line through the center.”
“Like this?” He holds up one that’s exactly what I described.
“Yes! Do you have a heart condition too?”
“I need pills for a variety of ailments,” he says with a wink.
“Like what?” I inch away from his outstretched hand. “What heart medication are you on?”
“I don’t know the name, but this pill relaxes the blood vessels. That’s what you need, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Look, it’s not like I’m trying to poison you.” He pops one of the green pills in his mouth and starts to pour the rest back in the tube. “We can wait if you want. I thought I could help, that’s all.”
It does look like mine. “You’re sure it works like you say it does?”
“Your heart will thank me. I promise.”
He hands me a pill and I swallow it. The chalky taste lingers after it slides down.
“Ready to head back?” he asks.
I nod, rubbing my throat as if I’ll be able to wipe away the aftertaste.
Ry doesn’t hold back as we retrace our steps. Nothing looks familiar, and I realize he could be taking me in an entirely different direction. The trees and ferns start to glimmer like they’ve been doused in sunshine and morning dew. Had it rained this morning?
Ry looks back and gives me a thumbs-up, and without realizing I’m doing it, I return his gesture. My feet feel like they’re moving on their own while my upper body enjoys the ride.
We come to a clearing and he grabs my arm to keep me from stumbling into a tree when I try to stop.
“How’re you feeling?”
“Good,” I say. My cheeks feel flushed, but I’m not tired. Ry’s face glows. “I think I have a runner’s high.”
“Is that bad?”
&nbs
p; “No. I feel really good.”
I start to sit, and Ry lunges forward to grab my arm. “There’s no seat there,” he laughs. “Let’s get you back to the barn.”
I try to concentrate. I know what a runner’s high is. This feels too hazy. My mind is pushing the panic button, but I’m having a hard time hearing the signal.
“What did you give me?”
“Euphorium. It might look like your pill, but my mine’s better.” His smile is as broad as his shoulders. “Don’t you agree?”
“Yes,” I say before I can shut my mouth. “I mean no! Why would you do that?”
“Relax. My pills are harmless. Most of them just give you a mild high to take the edge off. I figured it’d at least hold you over ‘til we can get your real medication.”
He takes off before I can object again. I look down at my feet, forgetting how to make them move, but somehow they do.
I’m running to the music of birds and bugs. The plants wave at me when I glide by, and I can’t help but smile at them. It’s so peaceful.
We come through the clearing, and the barn has a halo of white around it as if I’ve arrived at heaven, only this gate is red and it slides open. We barrel through the grass. Bugs jump out of the way, and I laugh out loud. Everything feels like it’s in slow motion.
Parked next to the barn is a gray truck. Gavin’s leaning against it, and my grin widens. He’s actually quite handsome, but not in a magazine way. He looks real. Rugged and tangible.
We stop in front of him and I brush a wisp of hair away from my face. My skin tingles, and I stare at my hands perplexed.
“Are you crazy, Ry?” Gavin says. He’s mad. Very mad.
He needs a hug.
I walk toward him and wrap my arms around his neck, resting my head on his chest. He smells delicious—like apples. That sounds delightful right now. My mouth waters.
He pulls my arms down and pushes me back.
I cock my head to the side. He’s glowing, but he’s still angry.
He reaches out and grabs my chin. There’s a surge of electricity where his fingers touch my skin. “Her eyes are dilated. What the hell did you give her, Ry?”
“She said she needed a pill.”
Gavin lets out a low growl. “Get inside.”
“Come on, Tabby.” Ry puts an arm around me. “You’ve got green cat eyes and a cat shirt, so that’s what I’m going to call you.” I laugh and Ry meows, which makes me laugh more.
“I’m going to get the hiccups,” I say as Ry leads us toward the barn.
“Tabitha stays.” Gavin moves into our path, his arms folded like a genie. Maybe I should make a wish.
“Lighten up, Gavin.” Ry unhooks his arm from my shoulder. “I could give you some Euphorium. It would do wonders for you.” Gavin points at the barn and although Ry obeys, he lets out one last meow before sliding the doors shut. I can’t help but smile. Gavin’s eyes flash to me and the only thing I can do is cover my face with my hand. My grin feels permanently affixed.
“Come with me,” he says, his brows furrowed.
We walk past the barn to an open shed with tools. Gavin doesn’t join me when I decide to skip. Near the shed is an outdoor faucet. He turns on a hose, and we follow it across the gravel where it spits water into a metal trough that’s already half full.
“Wait here.” His face is tight. “I mean it.”
He heads inside the barn, and once he’s out of sight I play with the hose, watering the grass that lines the fence I’m leaning against, and spraying the air like the hose is a whale spout. The water tingles when it cascades down on me.
By the time Gavin returns, I’ve put the hose back in the trough and am lying on my stomach looking for four-leaf clovers. I roll to my side when I hear the gravel crunching beneath his shoes, and I pat the ground for him to join me. He doesn’t take the hint. Maybe next time. He looks like he could use some good luck.
Instead, he flings the towel on the ground and scoops me up. His chest is warm and I rub my cheek against his shirt as he walks.
Then he drops me.
The cold water hits me like a thousand tiny slivers of ice. I come up gasping.
“You alert now?” Gavin asks when I try to stand.
“What the hell was that for?”
“To drag you out of la-la-land.”
There’s still a fuzzy white glow around everything, but my mind is racing. I’m so cold and there’s not a happy thought in my brain.
He holds out the towel and I push his hand away. My teeth chatter when I step out.
“Leave me alone,” I say, twisting my body away from him as he drapes the towel over my shoulders. One end drops to the ground and I drag it through the dirt back to the barn.
“I’m only trying to help,” he says.
I stop in my tracks. Pulling the towel tight around my chest, I turn and glare. “If you want to help, figure out a way to get my friends out of the Center before it’s too late. If you can’t do that, stay away from me.”
His face softens, but the lines on his forehead are deep like he’s concentrating on forming the right words. “Then we’re going to have to work together.”
“Fine,” I say, teeth chattering.
“Good.” He crosses and uncrosses his arms like he’s not sure what to do with himself. As I storm off, I hear him say, “Just remember, I’m not the enemy.”
Right now, I’m not so sure I believe him.
Chapter 6
Water trickles off me as I climb down the ladder. My shoes make a squishy sound when I drop from the fourth rung, and Adrian looks up from the electronic box he’s taking apart. Except for the inch of black roots showing, his hair is golden brown and it’s as greasy as the parts he has scattered around his workstation.
“Where’s Gavin?” he asks with a chuckle.
“I drowned him.”
He snorts and I walk past him without another word, heading for the windowless box of a room that, for now, is my home. The girl with the white hair, the one Gavin called Sasha, hollers at me, but I ignore her as I dig through the cabinet for some dry clothes. At the bottom of a box, I find a red sweatshirt like the one I used to wear on cold morning runs. It’s hoodless, but it reminds me of my former life and the people I have to save.
I grit my teeth and hold back the tears. The Center may want me dead, but it also taught me how to fight, and that’s exactly what I intend to do.
All the pants are oversized, so I grab the black shorts I left on the bed and change in the bathroom. Reaching into my pocket, I find the clump of pills and take my medication before coming out.
Gavin is in the kitchen and waves me over. I hope he can’t hear my stomach growl. I walk up to where he’s sitting and squeeze the wad of wet clothes over his shoe.
“I guess I deserve that,” he says.
There are two plates of food in front of him with the exact same portions of corn, applesauce, tuna, and crackers. I drop the clothes on the table and grab the extra plate.
“Thanks for the food.” I turn to walk away, leaving him with the laundry.
“Actually, that’s for Mary.”
Crap.
I spin around and put the plate back.
“But I think she already ate, so you might as well join me.” He gestures toward the seat. “Please?”
“Tricky,” I say, flipping the crate that serves as a chair so I can sit a little taller. Gavin and I are about the same height now. I twist my wet hair and ball it up at the nape of my neck. My finger jabs the spot where they took a skin sample, and Gavin shoots me a curious look when I wince. I force my face to relax and let my hair fall against my sweatshirt.
“You all right?”
“I’m fine.”
He waits for me to take a bite before he picks up his spoon. The applesauce is runny, but there’s a hint of cinnamon that makes it tolerable.
“I’m sorry for dunking you.”
“I could have died of hypothermia.”
He smiles
at my exaggeration. “Cold can actually help. The shock temporarily speeds up blood flow, which helps you purge the drug faster. Think of it as an adrenaline shot.”
“Yeah, well, you could have given me an ice cube instead.”
His grin widens, then he looks down at my plate, where I’ve been making small circles with my spoon. “Not a fan?”
“Not of corn, but I’ll eat it.”
“Make a trade?” He taps his spoon near the glob of tuna.
“All right. It’s a deal.”
I hand him my plate and he slides the kernels off, careful not to let them mix with his applesauce.
“So how’d you figure out what was going on…that they were…you know…” I pretend to slice my stomach with my thumb.
He waits until he’s finished wiping the tuna off his spoon, making sure every speck is gone. The utensil looks cleaner than it was when I sat down.
“Research.”
“Thank you for that in-depth answer.”
He bites his lip. It gives him a boyish cuteness. Almost photo-ready. One of the guys they’d put in the background to give a picture depth.
He balls his hands and sets them on the table like gavels. “Are you sure you want to hear this while we’re eating?”
I lean forward, pointing my spoon at his chest. “I want to know everything.”
“Well, Tabitha,” he sighs. “A few years ago I suspected Gladstone didn’t live up to its slogan: The Perfect Paradise. And unfortunately, I was right.”
I chew slowly, careful not to scrape the plate with my spoon. I don’t want to miss a word.
“Nordic is a small island off the coast of California. PharmPerfect purchased it and cut down half the trees to create Gladstone for their scientists to live while they made super drugs: pills that can make you jump higher, lose weight, grow hair, you name it. There’s a pill for everything except what the drugs do to your body after years of abuse.” He fiddles with his place setting, centering the plate in front of him as if he can’t think without symmetry. “That’s why PharmPerfect started the two Centers. They use the Center for Growth to help with brain development. It’s also where they start the propaganda—making you believe you’re at some elite foster center—so when you’re old enough to be transferred to the Center for Excellence for training, well…” Gavin glances at my hand. I’m gripping my spoon so hard the metal feels like it’ll cut through my skin. “Maybe we should wait…”