by Jani Kay
“Hear, hear,” one of the newer patched in members called out. “The Malones rule.”
I glared at the younger man. Inappropriate and juvenile comments like that didn’t go down well with me. I’d put him on fucking toilet cleaning duties for the next few months so that he could learn some respect.
Razor’s lips curled up and his voice filled with snark. “The old man would turn in his fucking grave if he knew about this horseshit. Cobra wasn’t thinking straight with a bullet to the fucking head. So I’m claiming what’s mine. If my brother ain’t able to be Pres, then I’m taking over from him.”
A few of the fellows cheered him on and raised their fists in support. I made a mental note of the fuckers’ names. In future, I wouldn’t trust them as far as I could throw them.
I pushed up from the chair and stood with crossed arms, planting my feed wide as I pushed my chest out a few inches.
The room went quiet again, and everyone turned to face me. “If you fuckers think I’m giving up that easily, you’re dumber than you look. I may not be born a Malone, but I’ve been adopted by Chopper as his own. I’ve sworn an oath to my brother. Are you really going to tell me that you’re going to fucking ignore Cobra’s wishes because Razor wants to go on a fucking ego trip?”
“Razor deserves it; he’s a true Malone,” Axel piped up. “I support him.”
Hammer jumped up from his seat, spit flying as he spoke. “Axel, you’ve never been known as the smart one, so shut the fuck up and let Ryder finish.”
Axel lunged forward, as if he were going to punch Hammer.
“Whoa,” I yelled out while holding a hand up, “calm the fuck down and let me talk.”
Ox appeared behind Axel and with a single hand, he pushed the man back down into his chair. At least I knew who was supporting me.
“Listen, Razor has every right to challenge me, and if he weren’t such a fucking hothead I’d tell him that I’d gladly hand over the reins to him. But we’re dealing with more than egos here. I made a promise to our Pres. You know what that means . . . that I’ll honor it.” I looked around the room slowly, making eye contact with every man. “This is life and death, an attack on all of us. This is the time for us to stand together as one, not be split apart by fucking mutiny.”
“It’s simple then. Just step the fuck down and let Razor take over.”
I raised an eyebrow at young Axel. “You’ve been a member for five fucking minutes and you think you know everything. Do you know anything about loyalty . . . or honoring a promise you made to a best friend and brother? You’ve got a lot to learn, kid, so I suggest you shut up and listen.”
Hammer nodded. “It takes more than a person’s bloodline to make them a leader. I support Cobra’s wishes. He’d want us all to back Ryder.”
I held up a hand. “That’s true. But let’s not rush into things just yet. We should wait and see how Cobra does before we make anything official. Hell, he’ll probably be back and kicking ass before we know it.”
“Bullshit. My brother is in a fucking coma. Chances of him coming back are close to zero.” Razor pointed a finger toward my chest. “You just wanna stall things.”
I straightened my back and stood a little taller. “And you just wanna rush things.” I took a deep breath to calm the annoyance in my gut. Taking a step closer to Razor, I locked my gaze with his. His eyes were cold and hard, but it didn’t stop me. “So what I’m gonna suggest is that we wait it out for two weeks.”
Razor reacted by cursing while his face contorted in anger. “That’s fucking dumb.”
What was he trying to do? Cause mutiny and disruption? It wasn’t the time or place, and I couldn’t agree more with Cobra that Razor wasn’t ready for leadership. He let his fucking anger rule him instead of his brain.
My harsh tone of voice didn’t invite argument. “In the meantime, I’m VP, and I’m running this fucking show until we decide otherwise.”
Razor slammed his fists onto the tabletop, sending a bowl of peanuts flying. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ox had moved closer and nudged him in the ribs.
“I changed your fucking diapers, Razor, so don’t get me mad. We wait two weeks. In the big fucking scheme of life, it’s nothing. And you got time to prove to everyone why you even stand a fucking chance of being Pres. But it ain’t happening right now, so deal with it and quit whining. We got bigger shit to worry about.”
I gave Ox and Hammer each a thankful nod. They’d have my back while we sorted out the fucking mess the club was in.
Razor spun around, his face inches from mine. “And what you gonna do about catching my brother’s attackers? I want revenge. I’m not resting until I have their blood on my hands.”
I took a step back to put some distance between us. “I’m working with Summers and Savage to track them down. Those fuckers will be caught and brought to justice, of that you can be one hundred percent sure.”
“For fuck’s sake, Ryder,” he roared, his veins bulging at his temples as if they’d burst at any second. “You’ve turned soft and into a fucking pussy. You’ve got the fucking law involved? Since when doesn’t our club take care of our own fucking business?”
Razor’s buddies made some noise in the background, agitating the crap out of me. I ground down on my teeth, clamping my jaw tightly. So help me if I didn’t want to punch his smug, angry face.
“You think this is easy?” I hissed. “I wanna find those motherfuckers and personally wipe the scum out with my own bare hands. But you know what that’s gonna do? Do you?” I yelled, just about to crack.
Razor’s eyes widened as he stared at me.
I tapped the side of my head. “Think, for once in your fucking life. It’s just going to bring more danger to our club. More retaliation. More killing.”
My nostrils flared as I indicated around the room at the brothers who gawked at me, some with their mouths hanging slightly open. “Unless it’s okay with you that any of these boys get hurt or killed because of your fucking anger and need to do things your way.” I paused to catch my breath. “Grow the fuck up and think of the good of the club and your brothers before thinking of what’s good for only you, Razor Malone. It fucking sucks what happened to Cobra, and poor Mia is barely coping.” I threw both hands up in the air. “You want the whole club to be subjected to that?”
Once I’d started ranting, I couldn’t stop myself. All my rage and fury had unleashed, and my fucking soul was on fire. “Or do we for once take a step back and do the right fucking thing? What’s best for everyone—letting the law nail the bastards for what they did instead of inviting further death and mayhem to the Scorpio Stingers.”
The whole room was quiet except for my heavy breathing.
Hammer started clapping slowly, then Ox joined in, and one by one, everyone except Razor and his young sidekicks began clapping, too.
Thank fuck I was getting through to most of the brothers—at least for the moment. I didn’t need more shit in my life, and it was time I stood firm for my beliefs.
19 — Ryder
Maybe Razor was right, and I didn’t deserve Cobra’s faith in me. But like fuck if I’d admit that seed of doubt to anyone. My head pounded as I made my way back to my room and back to my woman. I needed her comfort and her understanding. She always knew how to help me take a load off my shoulders.
I was only halfway down the hallway when I bumped into Logan. “Hey, bro.”
“Hey. If you’re looking for Jade, she’s with Mia.”
Was my need that obvious?
“Cool.” I turned left instead of right, toward Mia and Cobra’s room. I wanted to check in on her anyway to see how she was doing.
When I reached her door, I stood in front of it for a few moments and took a few deep breaths. I needed to calm my thoughts and the unease roiling in my gut. Déjà vu wasn’t kind to me.
I knocked softly on the door and waited.
“Who is it?” Jade called out.
Just hearing her voice made me feel
better. “It’s me, baby. Can I come in?”
“Sure. I’ll unlock the door for you. Just give us a moment.”
I shifted from one foot to the other while I waited. After what felt like forever, Jade opened the door. Her eyes were red and her cheeks wet, yet she still managed to look adorable. I tried to pull her into my arms to comfort her, but she stepped to the side, avoiding me. Of course. She wouldn’t want me displaying my affection for her in front of Mia, who might possibly lose her husband. At least that was what I assumed. I was only a man, so what the hell did I really know about how women felt?
I stepped into the room. Mia was on the bed, covered by a blanket, her eyes closed.
“Should I come back later?” This was awkward as fuck. What could I say or do to make things better? If only I could work miracles, but at that moment in time nothing was going to help. Nothing I said. Nothing I did.
Mia opened her eyes, and in spite of them being full to the brim with tears, she managed a small smile as she held out both her arms to me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and moved towards the bed. I sat down beside her and pulled her gently into my arms.
“I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry.” Fuck me, if I didn’t feel like breaking down and crying like a woman.
Jade came to sit on the bed beside me. Strength radiated from her, and she smiled kindly at me even though tears streamed down her cheeks. God, how lucky I was to have such a strong woman by my side.
“Oh Ryder, it hurts so much. Will this pain ever go away?” Mia sobbed as she clung to me.
I stroked her head. “Shhh, it’s going to be okay.” I didn’t know where that came from or why I said such a stupid thing because I had no idea if it would actually be true. Especially not after my conversation with the doctors, and Razor and his shit.
Mia’s breath hitched. “It feels as if I’ve been ripped apart and nothing can ever put me together again.”
What could I say to that? If Jade had been taken from me, there was no way I’d want to keep breathing.
“Cobra would want you to be strong for Jamie and Isabella. As long as he is still breathing, there’s hope. You can do this, Mia. You’re an amazing woman.”
She shook her head. “It's just a machine breathing for him. Keeping his heart going. The man I love—he is gone, and life without Cobra . . . oh God. The thought is unbearable.”
Jade leaned forward and placed her arms around both of us, her head resting against mine. “We’re always going to be here for you and the kids, Mia, until Cobra comes home to you. We will help you get through this. I promise.”
We sat like that for the longest time, the three of us together in our misery, each experiencing the heartache in our own way. I’d never imagined sitting there and saying these words to Cobra’s woman. Dealing with loss and death wasn’t something we bikers knew how to do without the help and support of others who loved us.
Eventually Mia pulled away and wiped her cheeks. She looked up at me. The sorrow in her eyes twisted my heart. “Ryder, at least I can take comfort in the fact that you will take over from Cobra. I trust in you. I trust that you will be a good leader to the Scorpio Stingers and do Cobra’s final wish justice.”
Jade sucked in a breath. Her body stiffened, and she moved away a couple of inches. My gaze darted to her, surprised by her sudden reaction.
“Can we please not talk about this right now?” Both of Jade’s hands rested on her belly, and she rubbed big circles around and around her stomach.
“Jade—”
She held up a hand. “I know it’s what Cobra wants. And I can understand that both of you want his wish honored. But he’s not dead yet, and until the machines are switched off I’m going to pray like never before that he recovers.”
“Baby,” I said in a low voice. Jade was losing it, and I had to calm her down for her own and Mia’s sakes.
“No, Ryder. What about me? Have you stopped to think for a moment how I feel about it? I’m not meaning to be disrespectful, but I just can’t . . .”
My hand covered Jade’s. “Can we talk about this later . . . in private?”
Mia placed a hand on her chest. “My God, we have a serious problem.” She glared at Jade. “You don’t want Ryder to be president, do you? And the funny thing is, I can understand that. But you have to understand that it’s what Cobra expects.”
Fuck. If Jade and the woman who’d been like a sister to me were at odds, it would tear me apart. I closed my eyes for a moment and cursed Cobra for being about to die on me. I was fucked if I did and fucked if I didn’t. There was going to be no easy solution.
What if I lost everything? Jade’s love. Mia’s respect. Razor’s loyalty. Cobra’s life. All were on the line.
It was a tightrope I was walking.
Blindfolded.
Without a net to catch me.
I had no fucking idea how to deal with it.
20 — Jade
Ryder closed Mia’s door and steered me back to our room, his grip firm on my elbow. I stole a sideward glance at him. His mouth and jaw set in granite and his eye twitched. It became worse as the day wore on.
I couldn’t bear to see him in so much pain, knowing that I was causing part of it. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel conflict and doubt, but I couldn’t just sit back and not voice what mattered to me.
We’re torn between two worlds that could tear us apart.
All that time we’d fought outsider forces and managed to ride it out and overcome the odds, and now it was coming to this—our own individual needs overtaking us and demanding to be heard.
Was this going to be the blow that finally ripped Ryder from me?
The swirling in my gut worsened and I felt hot and even a little faint.
As we passed Lexi’s room she called out to us. Seems she never closed her door, so I stopped in my tracks to talk to her. Ryder grumbled impatiently behind me, but I just ignored him. I wanted to speak to my cousin and find out how she was handling the confinement. Lexi wasn’t one to sit still for long and I imagined that she was pretty frustrated.
“Hey, Lexi, how are you, honey?” I asked, standing in her doorway and leaning against the doorjamb with Ryder’s hand firmly on my waist.
“Hey,” she greeted back without a smile. “This sucks. I’m going stir-fucking-crazy in here. These rooms are too small and you know I hate tight spaces.” Her gaze fell on Ryder and she batted her lashes at him coyly. “Please . . . can I go home? I don’t really know what the hell I’m doing here. It’s not fair that I have to be holed up in this tiny room because some people think I’m Razors old lady when I’m not.” Her voice was filled with venom as she spat the last few words out. “I don’t even fucking like him, so I don’t know where anyone got that stupid idea.”
Ryder grunted. “Maybe because that’s what Razor is making everyone believe. He’s claimed you, Lexi, and you’ve fucked him on several occasions that I’m aware of, so I kinda think that makes you Razor’s girl.”
“Fuck that. I’m no man’s property.” She jumped up and stood with her hands on her hips, challenging Ryder. “If I was the old lady of every guy I fucked, I’d be breaking the damn law. I’m not done with all the men on my list yet. And anyway, Razor’s not really my type.”
I couldn’t miss the way her gleaming eyes rested on Ryder while she licked her lips. She still had a thing for him, I knew that look only too well. All through high school I had to listen to her crush on guys and watch her throw herself at them. It was probably only because I was related to her that she didn’t try to get her claws into him. At least that’s what I hoped—that Lexi had enough respect for our relationship not to go after my man.
Ryder dug his fingers deeper into my skin, the tension in his body becoming more palpable the longer we stood there.
“Can we go now?” he growled low in my ear. Louder and with a stern tone, he barked, “You stay here until I say so, Lexi. You need our protection. Like it or not.” He let out a hot breath through his n
ostrils. “Perception is everything and as long as our enemies think you’re Razor’s you are unsafe out there.”
Lexi moved her mouth to speak but Ryder cut her off. “End of story. No arguments. And my advice to you is to talk things out with Razor. Set him straight so he doesn’t go around tripping over his dick believing there is something between the two of you.”
“I don’t need fucking relationship advice from you,” Lexi hissed. “Razor can go fuck himself.”
“Hey, don’t wear my name out.” Appearing out of nowhere, Razor’s voice boomed behind us and I jumped with fright.
Lexi scowled and crossed her arms over her chest. “Fuck off, asshole.”
Razor laughed out loud. Her obscene behavior was clearly not affecting him. In fact he appeared to like it. “The only person I’m interested in fucking is you, my pretty little spitfire. Better believe it.”
Ryder’s arm went fully around my waist as he pulled me backward against his chest and moved us away from the doorway to make room for Razor.
“Fuck everybody,” Lexi yelled out behind us as Ryder steered me down the hallway, her voice drowning in the noises spilling out from other rooms, girls giggling and guys laughing out loud. Somebody was having a party and it wouldn’t be long before Lexi heard them and probably joined in. Razor was fresh out of luck.
“That woman is trouble,” Ryder grumbled, a scowl on his face. “I don’t like her fucking attitude. Razor can be an asshole, but he doesn’t deserve the way she treats him.”
“Hmmm . . . she’s always been a problem. Poor Uncle Eric has had a hard time trying to raise her since her mother died. She’s always been a rebel. It’s gotten her into so much trouble, but that’s just Lexi, I guess.”
“Well I’m glad I got you, baby.” His voice softened and he pinched my ass playfully. I glanced up at him from under my lashes because he wasn’t going to be quite as happy with me once I told him what was on my mind.
We had issues too. Big ones. And it really scared me.
As soon as we stepped inside the room, I pulled away from Ryder and stood facing him. “We need to discuss what you said in Mia’s room.” Folding my arms across my chest, I pushed my chin forward and looked my man in the eyes. I wanted him to comprehend where I was coming from, not because I was trying to be a bitch, but because I was scared out of my damn mind.