by C. C. Brown
“Cara, go ahead and get your friend out of here. We have shit to discuss.”
“Cara, forget this guy…” Chase’s face was tight and flaming red, “you don’t need to go back to this.” His hands were down at his sides, but they were clinched into tight fists, and I wasn’t sure if Chase had it in him to punch Jason, but I also didn’t want to find out. If it came down to a fight between Chase and Jason, Jason would win. While I was sure Chase would put up a good fight, I wasn’t prepared to see him take what I was certain would be a serious ass kicking from Jason.
“Chase, it’s okay. I can handle it from here.”
Chase’s eyes bulged and his mouth drops opened. “Cara. After everything this week?”
“Chase, I’ll call you.”
“Don’t fuckin count on it,” Jason laughed, trying to taunt Chase.
Chase shook his head and walked out of the room. An overwhelming sense of guilt washed over me, but I had to deal with Jason, and I couldn’t do it with Chase in the way.
“Cara, I can’t fucking believe this. Why?”
“I need to speak to him, at least find out what’s been going on.”
He sighed heavily and ran his hands over his face, “I don’t get it… I’ll never get it.”
“Chase, I promise, I’ll fill you in, but can you just go? I need to deal with this.”
He pursed his lips, and walked out the door. I leaned my back up against the door as he closed it. I had to mentally prepare myself to face Jason, which was completely ridiculous, given that in this situation, it should have been the other way around. I had a million thoughts running through my head, but I hadn’t decided on a course of action to take. Should I question him on his whereabouts? Should I try the concerned route, or should I go with my gut instinct that was screaming to let the fury from the past week unfurl in the most unladylike manner. I didn’t have long to think about it because Jason walked into the foyer with a sexy grin on his face. He took my hand, and all of the furious thoughts that were bouncing around in my head evaporated into tiny particles.
“Come back into room Cara, so we can talk.”
I regained my focus and jerked my hand out of his grasp. “Jason, do you think I want to talk to you right now?”
"Actually, yes,” his arrogance had no limits.
Unfortunately, he was right; I did want to talk to him. I needed to get some things off my chest. We walked back into my room; Jason sat down in my desk chair, while I took a seat on the bed.
“I know you have a lot of questions, and…” I closed my eyes and held my hand up, motioning for him to stop talking.
“How did you get in here?”
“Mila.”
“Where is she? Her car is parked in her parking spot, and my brother was working late tonight.”
“I know. I texted her and asked her to please not say anything. I let her take my truck, so it didn’t throw anything off. I wanted to surprise you, and then I find you running around with that fucktard.”
I wholeheartedly despised what I had just heard. Mila had conspired with Jason. Our earlier conversation crept back into my head. If she didn’t like me interfering, why would she turn around and do the same thing – no, worse than the same thing?
“Don’t try to change this around on me Jason. You left -- and damn Mila for this.”
“Damn Mila? She was only helping me surprise you?”
“Surprise me,” I shouted, allowing the emotion in me to shine through, “I thought you had your way with me and moved along.”
Jason was taken aback by my statement, “why would you say that?”
“Um, I don’t know… maybe the fact that you were completely weird on Sunday. You dropped me off here, and acted like I was a little sister you were aching to get away from. I tried to reach you, hoping you would at least extend me the courtesy of replying, if for no other reason than to let me know that you were okay. I didn’t even get that.” My adrenaline was pumping and I elevated my voice to show the extent of my hurt. “I went from being hurt, to being scared, to being angry. You didn’t give a shit Jason, and now, you just show up here like nothing ever happened.” He had that same smirk on his face that either made me drop my pants, or in this case, frustrate the hell out of me.
“Well Cara, first of all, watch your mouth. Secondly, don’t be mad at Mila, she did give me the third degree before agreeing, and third, I had to go back home to take care of some bullshit. I know I should have called, but I was – occupied.”
“Fill me in. What had you so occupied that you couldn’t contact me?”
“Cara, I’m really not going to get into that now, I’m sorry.” He stood up and moved over next to me on the bed.
“See Jason, I don’t get it. You call me your girlfriend, but then you just escape from us whenever it’s convenient for you. You don’t call, text, or message, and then return as if I am supposed to be okay with it.”
“And I am supposed to be okay with you running around with that shit stain?”
“Don’t talk about Chase like that, and don’t try to change the subject.”
‘Well, that was a horrible fuckin’ way to see you after a week, walking into your empty apartment, with the guy who wants so badly to be in your panties. I should have clocked him.”
I was pissed. How dare he try to make Chase out to be the villain in this situation, “You should just be happy that he cared?”
"Why the fuck would I care that he cared to the point that he is alone with you in an empty apartment? And, I smell beer on your breath, was that the plan, get drunk and come back here to fuck?”
“NO Jason,” my voice was a high pitched shriek by this point, “we went out to dinner, and I had a few beers, that’s it.”
“I’m sure he was eager to let you drink, makes it easy for him to get into you. I told you, I know he wants you, and you know it too.”
I closed my eyes and my sudden blush confirmed what Jason was saying.
“I fuckin’ knew it. Did you fuck him? Was the grief so much that you jumped in bed with him to help ease the pain?”
“No.”
“I can’t believe you turned to him. Why?”
“I didn’t think you and I had anything. The way you left, and subsequently disregarded me, I thought we were done – like I was your weekend romp, and you had moved on.”
“Are you serious?”
“What else was I supposed to think?” I could taste the bitterness of my words on my tongue.
“It’s complicated, and I know I was wrong, but trust me, you were on my mind.”
“Well, it didn’t seem like it. Are you going to tell me what happened?”
“No.”
“Jason! How do you think this gets better if you don’t talk to me?”
“I am talking to you. I will tell you what happened when the time is right, just not now. And do me a favor; don’t talk to my fuckin’ brother.”
Shit, he knew.
“He wrote me,” and I was silenced by his sudden glance.
“Just don’t. He’s such a fuckin’ idiot. If he knows it will piss me off, he’ll do it. Ignore him.”
I was a bit puzzled by his reaction, but decided after the exhausting go around that we had, I should let it go. I had class in the morning, I was mildly intoxicated, and I just wanted to lie down in my bed.
“You should probably get going, I’ve had a long day and I have an early wake up call.”
“You’re kicking me out?” He looked disingenuously hurt. “You’re tired, you’re mad, and I am the cause. I think I should stay and make it right.”
“Jason, I am in no mood to have sex with you tonight,” I shouted out before I even had time to process my thought.
“Who said anything about sex? I just want to lay with you, and soothe you to sleep.”
I knew he deliberately used the word soothe to mock Chase. I didn’t protest because that would turn into another argument, so I undressed, next to an equally half naked Jason, laid d
own in the bed, and quickly fell asleep.
<>
Morning came and I felt completely refreshed. Was it because Jason was in my bed with me last night? I thought back to the night before, my joyous dinner date with Chase that turned into a stalemate and my very vague argument with Jason. I was still undecided as to how I felt about Mila and her inability to communicate with me. She took Jason’s side in all of this, and left me blindsided. The guys were on the brink of a full scale brawl had either of them said the wrong thing, and Mila was partly to blame. I knew she had her reservations about Chase, but letting Jason in, without my prior knowledge or approval, was crossing the line. I decided to text her and let her know how unappreciated it was.
to Mila
*Thanks for heads up last night… always enjoy a Wild West showdown.*
Jason woke up with a half grin on his face. Maybe he was still trying to gauge how furious I was with him. I glanced down at my phone, anticipating a response from Mila, yet nothing had come through. Jason noticed my focus and sat up in the bed. “Why are you up so early? And who are you texting?”
I looked at him completely annoyed. “I’m up for workouts, and I was texting Mila, is that okay?” The anger from the night before had come flooding back. I still couldn’t believe the sequence of events and what they led up to, and I was still feeling betrayed by Mila.
“You don’t have workouts because we’re on the start of Spring break. Mila won’t text you because she is doing what normal people do at five forty in the morning – sleeping.” He said with a very condescending grin. How did I forget that Spring break started this week? Was I so flustered and distracted these days that I could no longer remember important things in life? Was the alcohol still taking hold of me? “Why are you so mad at Mila anyway?”
“You can’t be serious?”
“Because she let me in? I thought you’d be happy to see me.”
I looked at him amazed and flabbergasted. “Jason! I haven’t seen or heard from you in a week. We hadn’t been seeing each other long enough for me to think that was normal. I thought you had written me off.”
He yawned and wiped his eyes, failing to convince me that he was still too tired for all of this.
“Why couldn’t you just send a text just to say hi, or that you were okay? Courtesy Jason that could have been given.”
“I know I should have. Things were fuckin’ crazy at home, it really escaped me. I can’t apologize enough, and I have a feeling I’m gonna be raked over the coals for a while for it.”
“Well, I just don’t know what to think about that. Things were so crazy for you that you completely forgot about me. What does that say to me Jason?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t know how to make you understand either.”
“How about filling me in on what went on while you were home? When did you leave?”
“I can’t really get into that right now, and I left Sunday, shortly after my workout.”
“So it was an emergency that made you run out of here? Family member? Sickness?”
He came over to me and ran his hands through my hair. “Cara, I promise you will know as I know more. I came here last night, and was sitting here for a while waiting for you -- eager to see you, only to see you walk in with that asshole. Mila is not in the wrong, so don’t be mad at her.”
“She is in the wrong, and I don’t want to go into that with you. I have to deal with her. And you went to her because you knew she would be an easy target. Why didn’t you contact Chelsea?”
“Are you fuckin’ crazy?” he laughed, “that chick is like a fuckin’ bull; one minute she’s nice and calm and the other she’s seeing red and out of control.”
I shook my head at him, not sure what to say because he was right. There was a reason that Chelsea was my best friend; she was always loyal, and willing to speak up for me when I couldn’t do it for myself. Mila had never been a huge fan of Chase, but I never thought she would do this. It wasn’t the end of the world, but she knew that I had been hanging out with Chase, even if it was on a platonic level, and yet, as much as she knew Jason didn’t like him, she put Jason in our path, without giving me a heads up.
“Did Mila tell you that I was with Chase?”
“No, but she did say that you had been hanging out with him.”
“So you figured you’d come and interject yourself back in to put a wedge between us?”
“No…”
“You wanted to figure out how much you wanted out of me, and when Chase was back on your radar, your jealousy kicked in?”
“No Cara. That wasn’t it.” His voice was strained, and I could tell he was trying to contain his anger. At this point I just couldn’t care. I couldn’t get him to tell me what happened, and why he'd left, why I wasn’t even an after-thought, and now; I was supposed to just accept and believe that his and Mila’s conspiring was romantic, and just move on. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
“Jason, I just want to be alone right now.” He glared quizzically at me, unable to wrap his mind around the words I had just spoken, “I just need to think about all of this.”
“Cara, I think you’re over analyzing all of this, but I’ll give you your space.” He stood up and dressed himself. Looking at his body was definitely a weakness for me, but I just kept telling myself that his body and his emotions were on two opposite ends of the spectrum. His body craved me, his emotions discarded me. I had learned to value myself in the last few years, and I wasn’t going to allow him to just sweep in and make everything that has, or hasn’t happened over the past week just go away.
“I need it.”
He stood, walked over and placed his hand under my chin, forcing eye to eye contact. He tried to kiss me, but I moved my head, and he settled for a kiss on my forehead instead. I didn’t say a word, and he walked out of the apartment. I ran to look out the window, and watched him get into Mila’s car and drive off.
I was so conflicted and found myself questioning my own judgment. I knew I had every right to be mad at him, but did I have the same right to be equally angry with Mila? Did she really do anything wrong? I shook my head to clear the nonsense brewing inside; of course she was wrong. Whose friend was she? I know her relationship with Chase was one of tolerance, but I really thought she would at least think of me before trying to spite him.
I knew Ryan was probably up for work at this point -- it was well after six o'clock, and he had to be in by seven thirty. I decided to give him a call.
The phone rang and he finally answered on the third ring.
“Good morning Cars, is everything okay?” his voice indicated that he had been up for a while.
“Hi Ryan. Are you up for work?”
“Yes, what’s up? Are you okay?” His voice had a sudden hint of alarm.
“Um, not really? Is Mila with you?”
“She just left. Why?”
“Oh so you don’t know?”
“Know what? Will you tell me what’s going on Cara?”
“Well, I haven’t heard from Jason since he left last Sunday, and he showed up at my apartment last night.”
“Okay.”
“Well, I was out with Chase, and when I walked into my apartment Jason was sitting on my bed.”
“Hmmmm… is that all?”
“No. Mila let him into the apartment, without my knowledge, and had Jason’s truck. You didn’t notice?”
“No. She came to my place late last night and I didn’t even look at the car. Why were you out with Chase?”
“He’s my friend Ryan, and that’s beside the point. Mila is butting her nose where it doesn’t belong. I haven’t heard from Jason and I thought he was writing me off… but apparently he’s been in contact with Mila, and she didn’t think it was necessary to tell me. “
“What the hell? Really? What happened with you and Jason when you saw him last night?”
“Well, he and Chase almost got into a full on brawl, which could have been avoided…”
; “Yeah, if Chase weren’t around,” he interrupted in a muffled voice.
“Whatever. Anyway, I had to diffuse the situation and ask Chase to leave so I could deal with Jason. He stayed last night, but we discussed it this morning, and I just asked him to leave.”
“So you’re done with him?”
"I don’t know.”
“Well where was he? Why didn’t he contact you?”
“He went home to Texas to deal with something, but won’t tell me what that something is.”
“If he wants to be with you Cara, he needs to tell you. Don’t accept anything less. And, I will speak to Mila. I'm not fan of Chase, but that was kind of fucked up.”
“I know. That’s why I asked him to leave. And, I don’t know what her deal is.”
“Well, she did come over a little pissed yesterday. She said you guys kind of got into at breakfast or something.”
“Yeah. I apologized though, didn’t think she’d try to get back at me.” I sighed – loudly.
“Cars, she told me what happened. I told her I understand your concerns, but that I would hope you could trust me. That’s why I’m not going to pester you about your decision with Jason. I think you can make your choice, and if I don’t like it, I ‘ll deal with it.”
“Let me ask you this. Do you like Jason?”
“I don’t dislike him.”
“So you don’t like him?”
“He hasn’t given me a reason to dislike him, and he can be pretty cool when he isn’t riled up. I would need more time with him to know if I like him or not. But, Chase; I don’t like him. I hope you don’t go that route.”
“I get it. And, don’t worry about Chase, he’s just a friend.”
Just then I heard the front door open, and I ran to my window to see who had come home. It was Chelsea, and I had so much to tell her.