by C. C. Brown
He stared at me, with a look that could burn holes through my body. I didn’t look away, adrenaline coursing through me and I started up again, this time trying to contain the yelling that was sure to draw unwanted attention. “I don’t give a shit that you drove out here Jason, there is something going on, I feel it, I feel it in my bones. If you want Stacey, why are playing these games? Just let me go and go back to her. She is more than willing to have you.”
I sat, panting as the jets turned on and hot, steaming water began to bubble around me. It matched my mood perfectly. Jason stood, saying nothing, and walked over to me. He grabbed my hands kissed them, then got out of the spa, and walked over to the cabana. He wrapped himself in his towel, and pulled out a flask. He turned to look back at me, taking a long sip from the flask and said, “Watch your mouth,” then walked out, leaving me alone.
<>
I barely slept a wink the night before. I tried desperately to keep the tossing and turning to a minimum, so as not to wake Chelsea; I didn’t need her interrogation on top of everything else. I checked my phone to see if Jason called, or texted throughout the night -- no such luck. I was expecting a groveling apology from him, but of course it did not come.
We dressed and headed down to the vans to make our way to LVU for our allotted practice time. I planned to throw every ounce of anger and energy that I could find into these two hours, and rid myself of the disaster that was last night.
Mila was in the best of moods, on the phone at eight in the morning, laughing and speaking quite animatedly. Chelsea had her ear plugs in, and sat back, trying to ignore the conversation that Mila was desperately wanting all of us to hear. The conversation was all one-sided, but at the end I heard her say, “love ya too,” and she hung up. I tapped her on the shoulder, speaking directly to her for the first time really since we had been in Vegas.
“Have you talked to Jason at all?” I asked, hoping she would be honest. Their budding friendship had left me a bit squeamish.
“No. Why?”
“Just wondering,” I lied, “I know you guys have become friends -- that’s all.”
She looked at me inquisitively, but shook her head, and turned back around. Things couldn’t get any weirder with her.
Practice was exhilarating. My bullpens were exceptional, my sprints were timed the fastest that I have ever run them, and my cage hitting was superb. I kept imagining Stacey’s face as the ball, when in all actually, it should have been Jason’s. I kept telling myself he was the one in a relationship with me, not her, but I couldn’t bring myself to want to physically hurt him. I checked my phone again, but had no messages from Jason. I really didn’t want to ask Chelsea anything about Hunter because she would start asking questions, but my curiosity got the best of me and I did it anyway.
“Chels, have you heard from Hunter this morning?”
“Yeah. I was waiting for you to ask me.”
“So…” I allowed her to provide an answer before I could even finish the question.
“Jason went back to the room last night, with a new bottle of Jack in his hands. Hunter said he was pissy drunk by the time he got to the room anyway. He was going on and on about women and the bullshit that comes with them, yada yada ya.” She sighed heavily, sounding overly annoyed with the story. “He said after he finished about half of that bottle of Jack, he passed out on the bed, and when he woke up this morning, Jason was gone.”
I gasped. “Gone? Like, he left Hunter here?”
“No, his stuff is still there, but he was gone, and he hasn’t seen or heard from him at all. What happened when we left?”
I rolled my eyes. This was so typical of him. Things get rough, and he leaves. I tried to bite back the wrath in my voice, but it’s wasn’t easily containable. “He didn’t want to talk last night; he just wanted to have sex. I made him listen to me, and he got mad, and left.”
“Ok Cara, you are going to have to be a bit more specific. What did you say?”
This was exactly what I didn’t want, to have to lay out the details. I sighed and told her anyway. “I told him he’s too secretive, too much goes unanswered and that I needed answers. I laid out everything, and he had nothing to say in return.” My irritation was growing and I rolled my eyes. “He got out of the spa, and left me there.” She shook her head, but her face gave off the impression that she wasn’t surprised. I continued, “I even brought up Stacey. I told him if he wanted her to just let me go.” This perked her interest.
‘What did he say to that?”
“Nothing,” I yelled, and immediately covered my mouth, for fear of everyone around us hearing our conversation.
“What a prick. I don’t know Cara, I don’t want to tell you to leave him… but you need to figure out if you’re cut out for this. I miss my shy little carefree friend. Chase is waiting, food for thought.”
I didn’t even protest. I just sat back in the van and took the ride back to the hotel in silence. Chelsea did have a point, not about Chase, but about me and handling this situation with Jason. My eyes began to burn as I tried desperately to fight back the tears that were trying to escape. I sniffled, and closed my eyes, hoping it would all fade away.
Chapter 13
Later that evening, we all split and went our separate ways. Chelsea and Hunter went off to sightsee with her parents, but I was stuck with Mila, and her parents. Our families decided to take in a magic show. We all piled into my dad’s SUV and headed out, sans Jason. My parents looked around with mild curiosity on their faces when I came down without him, but kept quiet. I was grateful, because I was in no mood to answer any questions. He and I had still not spoken, or even communicated since last night after I yelled at him and he left. The thought crossed my mind that he could have left and left all of his belongings here. He was worth millions, what was a few hundred dollars worth of clothing. I shook my head, trying to get the depressing thoughts out. My parents were excited about the show so I was determined to have a good time.
Just as we were entering the venue, Mila grabbed me by the arm and ushered the rest of our families in. “Why are you so down in the dumps Pinks?” She smiled brightly; I assumed trying to cheer me up.
“What? I’m fine, what makes you say that?” I lied.
“Um, let’s see. You were restless last night…” my eyes grew big, and she smiled, “yes, I noticed. And, you were an animal at practice. Don’t get me wrong, I love that part, but it was in overdrive. And now, you’re all mopey. In case you haven’t noticed, you don’t hide things well.” She was absolutely right, but I wasn’t about to let her know that.
“Well, I’m fine Mila.” I tried to rush by her, but she stopped me.
“Don’t get carried away about Jason. He hasn’t done anything wrong. He was wakeboarding all day -- needed to blow some steam.”
I was fuming. Why did Mila know this and I hadn’t even had the courtesy of a phone call?
“Why do you know his whereabouts? Why are you two all of a sudden so close?”
“Excuse me? He and I have been friends and you know that. Furthermore, he was so angry at himself last night, that he pushed you to the brink that he just wanted to give you some space.”
“So calling you was the way to go. Wow, you two are unbelievable.”
“Us two? He texted me and told me you two had a fight and that he was pissed with himself.”
“So why are you asking why I’m so down in the dumps. Apparently, you know more concerning my relationship than I do.” I pushed past her, bumping arm as I walked by. I stomped into the theater and took my seat next to Ryan, Mila joining on the other side. Ryan looked at me with concern, but I shook him off, and focused on enjoying the show.
The lights, fire, and optical illusions were exciting, and exhilarating, but I was faced with the reality that after a two hour show, Jason still hadn’t called, or texted me. On the way out of the theater, my mom threw her arm around me and whispered into my ear. “I know it’s something about Jason. I won’t pry, b
ut work it out.” She winked at me and took my dad’s hand as we all strolled to the car.
I slugged along to my room in the hotel, not wanting to share an ounce of space with Mila at the moment. Luckily, she went to Ryan’s room, so I had our room to myself. Chelsea was still away with her parents, and I wasn’t sure where Kate was, but at this point, I didn’t really care. I was torn, Should I call him or not? The good angel sitting on my shoulder told me to do the adult thing and call, while the devil on the other side was saying “fuck him.” I decided the angel was a better choice and I pressed call on his name, expecting him not to answer. He picked up on the second ring.
“Hey gorgeous.” He said, without a slice of anxiety in his voice. I was a bit shocked by his greeting.
“Hi. Why haven’t I heard from you?” I really didn’t mean to come off so accusatory, but at this point, it was pretty hard to hide it.
He sighed heavily before speaking, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was trying to formulate a lie. “You were so pissed last night, unlike any way that I’ve ever seen you, so I had to back up, and give you some space.”
“But it’s okay to contact Mila. Seriously Jason, you have to be smarter than that.” My tone shifted to angry.
“Cara. You have never been like that with me, not even when I left, so I just didn’t know how to handle that. And, I only told Mila because I thought someone should know, and I damn sure wasn’t contacting Chelsea.”
“Okay, what about Hunter, right there in the damn room with you?” The line went silent, but I could hear him breathing. I heard what sounded like a faint female voice in the background, and I blew my top. “Who is that Jason?” I was practically grinding my teeth and I felt like the veins in my neck were ready to burst.
“What are you talking about?”
“I heard a female voice, who was it?”
“Cara, I’m going to let you go so you can calm down. I’m still here, I still want to see you, but you need some space.”
“Jason, don’t you dare hang up on me…” and before I would finish my thought, the line went dead. I threw my cell phone on the bed and rushed out of the room to go upstairs to Jason’s room. I was not going crazy, and I was near certain that I heard a female voice.
I hurried onto the elevator, with a million scenarios running through my head, and as the doors opened, Jason was standing right in front of them. He froze, shocked to see me, and I poked my head out, looking around trying to find the source of the voice I heard on the phone. He looked at me completely bewildered. “What are you looking for?” I stared at him, half embarrassed that I had allowed myself to become that girl.
“Who was that in the room with you?” I forgot about the embarrassment and focused back on my original reason for going up to his room.
“No one was in my room Cara. Hunter is gone, and he is the only person I am sharing a room with. You can be mad at me, but please don’t make shit up.” He stepped onto the elevator and pressed the 10th floor, the floor that I was staying on. I stood with my arms crossed over my chest, upset at myself for giving in to my jealousy, but also perturbed at the fact that Jason still wouldn’t be straight with me. I moved to the far right corner of the elevator. We rode down to my floor in complete silence. With the exception of a few glances at one another, there was little to no acknowledgement that we were alone in the elevator. The tension was high, the ride was unusually long, and I wanted more than anything to burst through the doors and get off. We stopped on the 10th floor, and the doors opened to Mila standing and waiting. Jason was the first person she saw and she threw her arms around him saying, “I was just coming to see you.” Jason gave me a nervous glance and Mila immediately removed her arms from his body. I got off the elevator in a huff, and stomped down to my room.
When I got back to the room Kate was the only one there. Chelsea and her family were still out having a grand time. I asked her if anyone had come by the room and she said no. She left to go and take a shower so I called Ryan. He picked up on the second ring.
“Hey Cars, what’s up?” He was very upbeat.
“Sorry to call you with such nonsense Ryan, but do you know where Mila is?”
“Noooo,” he dragged the word out slowly, “text her, she has her phone with her.”
“Um, when was the last time you saw her?”
“About an hour ago… why Cars, what’s going on?” His voice lowering.
Just then, Chelsea came bursting through the door. “Cara, oh my fucking God.”
“What Chels?” My heart was racing, my breathing erratic.
“Who are you on the phone with?” She asked, her eyes looking like a deer in headlights.
I covered the mouth piece of the phone, “Ryan. Why? What’s wrong?” She grabbed my phone and politely let Ryan off the line.
“Hunter and I were walking back into the hotel when we saw the Raptor leaving.”
“Okay. I just saw Jason, I know he was leaving.” I didn’t understand what had her in such a fit.
“Okay, but Mila was in there with him. Alone!” My eyes darted to hers, wide and full of suspicion. “You don’t think that, they…”
“I don’t know what to think anymore. I spoke to him and he said he was wakeboarding all day, but of course, Mila already knew that. He said he…” Chelsea threw her hand up to stop me from speaking.
“Mila already knew? When you hadn’t even spoken to him yet?”
“Yup. He said he needed to let someone know he was still here.”
Chelsea shook her head and rolled her eyes, “I don’t like this shit Cara. You need to do something about this, and if you want, I will set Mila straight.” I put my finger over my mouth, signaling for Chelsea to keep quiet since Kate is in the bathroom.
“I will speak to her.”
“I’m serious Cara, this is beyond ridiculous.”
“I know. Trust me; the way she threw herself on Jason in the elevator was too much.”
“Threw herself on him?” Her shock level skyrocketed.
“Yes. We were coming down from his room and when we got to our floor, Mila was standing there and she threw her arms around him and said something about coming to see him. Trust me, I was shocked and pissed about it.”
“And now, you do something about it.” I could see the wheels turning in her head and I knew that whatever she was thinking couldn’t possibly be good.
<>
We left the room and quickly made our way down to the lobby. Chelsea said to wait for them to come back together so that there was no denying that they were together. After waiting for almost an hour, the roar of the Raptor came thundering back into the parking lot. My heart began to race as I prepared myself for something that I didn’t want to face. Chelsea looked like a hungry animal ready to attack her prey.
Mila and Jason came strolling in, laughing wildly, until they saw the two of us, and it was as if the world stopped, and everyone around us disappeared. Jason’s eyes locked with mine, and I could feel the hurt and wrath building inside of me. Chelsea grabbed me by the arm and marched me over to the two of them.
“You are such a bitch Mila,” she said, and I swore I felt fire coming from her breath. Mila shook her head but didn’t say a word. I turned to look at her, but she wouldn’t look me in the eye. “And you, what kind of shit stain are you? You have a wonderful, beautiful girl and you just can’t get your shit together Bradley.” I stopped her because the way she was feeling, she could go on for days.
Jason took my arm and pulled me outside to his truck. I looked back to see Mila and Chelsea involved in a heated exchange but I couldn’t hear any of the words being spoken. Jason let me into the truck and I could no longer contain myself, I slapped him hard across the face. He didn’t react to it; he just closed his eyes, and leaned his head back against the headrest. Tears began to prick my eyes, and I did nothing to try and stop them. “I can’t stand this,” I said through the tears, “I can’t stand what I’ve become since being with you.” His looked
to me, with an exhausted expression on his face, but didn’t say anything. I went on, “was that Mila in your room when I was on the phone with you?”
“No Cara. No one was in my room.” His voice was eerily low. “Besides, you saw her at the elevator, how would she get there that quickly?”
“She could have taken the stairs.” He bit his bottom lip, trying to contain his mounting frustrations, but I just couldn’t muster up the energy to care. “The way she threw herself on you, then you two leaving together, you aren’t even trying to hide it Jason, that’s the worst part. And my brother, Ryan – he has no clue about any of this.” I had to stop talking because I was beginning to hyperventilate. Jason rolled down the windows and turned back to me.
“You have no idea what you are talking about, there is nothing going on with Mila.”
“Sure doesn’t look that way,” I angrily replied back to him.
“Fucking Chelsea is a shit starter. She put you up to this didn’t she?”
“Jason, don’t throw the blame to Chelsea when you and Mila are so sloppy. She, unlike Mila, is a good friend, who is looking out for me. I should have known, now my poor brother is going to get his heart broken. And the funny thing is we will have our hearts broken together, because of mutual betrayal.” I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. Jason leaned over and took me in his arms. Trying to warm and comfort me; he kissed the top of my head.
“No one is being betrayed. I hate being apart from you. I’m afraid of the life I would have to live without you. You are so much to me.” His words caressed my ears; this is what I had needed from him. “I can’t stand to even picture a life without you. Strike me down here and now God if I have ever done anything to betray this gorgeous creature of yours,” he said while looking up towards the roof of his truck.
We sat in silence for what felt like hours, but after looking at the clock, it had only been 15 minutes. I knew we had to go back inside and as much as I wanted everything to be right in our world, it just wasn’t. I had to go back to same hotel room with Mila and face her -- the awkwardness between us sent my stomach rumbling. Luckily, Chelsea would be with me, and may have already destroyed the problem for me.