Red Flags

by C. C. Brown

Two servers rolled out a cake in the shape of a softball, with “Happy Birthday Gorgeous” written in beautiful calligraphy. The lead singer from the SD’s led the Happy Birthday song, and Jason planted a deep, passionate kiss on my lips once they finished. I made a wish before blowing out the candles, and the servers rolled the cake away, sliced it, and started to pass it around to the guests.

  Jason and I stood in each other’s arms, and I looked deep into his eyes and blurted out, “I love you,” and immediately all blood drained from my face. I was embarrassed for allowing myself to speak before thinking. Jason grabbed my chin and lightly kissed my lips.

  “I love you too Cara Pinkston.”

  The rest of the night felt like an out of my body experience. The people I loved most were all together, celebrating me, and enjoying themselves. We spent the rest of the night drinking, taking pictures, and reminiscing about the wrath I had inflicted on both Jason and Mila, finding humor in the situation. I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday or a better present. Hearing Jason say those words meant more than any of the remarkable gifts that he gave me, and they were all pretty special.

  Chapter 17

  Waking up in Jason’s arms had me not wanting to ever leave his side. I slowly opened my eyes, blinking to adjust to the bright sunlight peering in through the windows. When I finally focused, I stared into Jason’s beautiful brown eyes, and found him staring back with a slight grin on his face. Last night was incredible. I went out with him feeling very apprehensive, and still slightly angry, yet I woke up to him, feeling loved, desired, and very much sated.

  Last night, before going to bed, Jason did the one thing I couldn’t have imagined him doing when I first met him; make love to someone. He was an amazing screw, but the ability to make love to someone required deep, uninhibited free falling of you into someone else. Jason was all of that and more. He went slow, devouring every inch of me, in a slow, melodic rhythm, that built up our orgasms and allowed us to come down as one. The tingle of every stroke he made sent my toes curling, my fingers grasping, and my eyes rolling. When you make love to someone, there are no words; you are left to the pull of your hearts and the feel of your bodies. The orgasm was methodical and electrifying. My legs shook; Jason placated that with thrust after thrust, and poured every ounce of his love into me, while I quietly did the same.

  Last night was the beginning of our true to the core relationship. I haphazardly blurted out what I had been feeling for so long, and yet, through all of my unwarranted fear, he repeated the sentiment. Last night was definitely the beginning of us.

  “Good morning gorgeous,” he breathed, and I could feel my body prepping for round two.

  “Good morning.” He began rubbing his fingers in my hair, and just as I was preparing to pull him on top of me, he kissed my forehead and got out of bed.

  “Where are you going?” I asked, slightly disappointed, and allowing it to be traced in my tone.

  “We need showers, and to get going if we are going to make it on time for breakfast at your parents’ house.” He walked into the bathroom, wearing absolutely nothing, teasing me with a picture perfect view of what I came to believe was the prototype of the perfect ass, supported by the perfect pair of legs. His look back told me he knew exactly what he was doing, and since I was shamelessly wanting, I made no qualms about joining him in the shower.

  The drive north to my parents’ house was especially peaceful. Jason and I had shown each other just how much we loved each other from the words, to the affections, and finally, to the depth of our intimacy. I couldn’t recall a time in this turbulent relationship that we had both felt so at peace, and completely in sync. We arrived to find Ryan’s car parked in the driveway and from somewhere deep down inside, I knew that I had to push my pride aside, and deeply apologize to Mila. I had been nothing but nasty to her, so groveling at her feet was not beneath me.

  My mom opened the door before I had a chance to ring the bell, and smothered me in her embrace of hugs, kisses, and numerous happy birthday wishes. She took Jason in her arms and kissed him a few times on the cheek, shocking him, but entertaining me. Jason looked visibly uncomfortable, but my mom was either oblivious, or just didn’t care. I think the outpouring of affection stemmed from the party the night before. My dad was much more demure, but that came as no surprise. He wrapped his arms around me, and kissed the top of my head while wishing me a happy birthday. He simply extended his hand out to Jason, and patted his arm as they shook. For my dad, it was a huge step and it warmed my heart to see the embrace.

  Jason put his hand on the small of my back as I led us into the house. The scent of maple invaded my nose, and I found Ryan and Mila slaving away in the kitchen, flipping pancakes, and rolling sausages. They both looked up to greet us and shouted in unison, “happy birthday.” I rushed over to give them a hug, removing the spatula from Mila’s hands and tossing it to Jason. Leading her out to the back patio, the look of confusion spread throughout her face. Once outside, I threw my arms around her neck and repeated just how apologetic I was.

  “Whoa Pinks. You’ve apologized already, we’re good.”

  “No Mila, that was generic. I need to apologize for being such a bitch on so many levels. I didn’t think you would do right by Ryan, I didn’t trust you with Jason…” she held up her hand and stopped me short of my confession.

  “I know all of that. Trust me, there were certainly moments where I wanted to kick your ass, and I think I should have, but Jason is totally into you, and he said it would all be worth it, so I put my can of whoop ass away and went with the flow.” I shook my head and hugged her again. Thinking about the way I’d treated Mila over the past few weeks had me embarrassed and remorseful. It also enlightened me on just how deep in I was where Jason was concerned.

  “What about Ryan and Chelsea?”

  “Ryan knew, but I begged him to play along, and just be the supportive big brother. Chelsea didn’t know because she has a big mouth and would have told you. Trust me -- I contemplated telling her too, because she was achin’ to get her ass kicked.” She laughed, grabbed me by the arm and took me back into the house.

  Breakfast was delicious, but now my dad, being my dad, initiated more pressing topics, convoluting the light and airy feel of the breakfast table.

  “So, graduation is this week? What are you kids planning on doing with yourselves?”

  Jason took the reins, and I was grateful because I was sure the bulk of that question was aimed at him.

  “Well sir, as you know, I do a little side work for my dad out here, so I plan to take that on full- time. My dad is expanding his West Coast accounting holds, and I’m going to head that up.”

  This was news to me. If that was true, that meant Jason would be over Hunter’s dad’s accounting firm when it came to Bradley Oil. Co. My dad nodded his head in approval, but gave nothing away in his expression.

  “So your plan is stay in San Diego?” My dad asked, digging for more specifics.

  “Yes sir. We’ll be going to Texas for my folks’ annual charity gala this weekend, but it’s right back to San Diego after that.

  “You’re going to Texas? You never told us that.” My mom shrieked, in an almost accusatory tone.

  “I know, I wasn’t for sure, so I didn’t say anything. It’s just for the weekend though.”

  Trying to talk my mom out of her hysterics was also a task. Luckily she didn’t put up much of a fight on this one.

  “Well that’s good, I know Cara loves San Diego so it’s good for you kids to have a nice fresh beginning here,” my mom chimed in, desperately trying to calm herself and wash away the stale mood my dad had cast over the table.

  “Enough about Jason, my life is the most exciting,” Mila joked, and was actually successful at getting a few laughs from the group. “I am going to be working at my dad’s doctor’s office, as an office maid, while going for my Nurse Practitioner certification.” Ryan threw her an inquisitive glance. “It’ll only be part-time since schoo
l is so demanding. But yeah, I want to be a NP.”

  “Where are you going for that?” My dad asked, always so eager to interrogate.

  “I’ll be at UCSD.” She shrugged her shoulders as if it were no big deal, when in all actuality, it was a major deal.

  “Cars, you’re awfully quiet. I don’t like the silence, what are your plans?” My dad asked --his tone rough and demanding.

  “I have an interview this week with San Diego Sports Managing for a possible Sports Marketing Manager position.”

  “And she’ll get it too,” Jason threw in, feelings as confident as I wish I could have.

  “That’s awesome Pinks, why haven’t you said anything? What the hell?” Mila slumped in her chair after receiving the stern look from my dad about her language.

  “I just didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, that’s all.” My mom beamed her I’m-so-proud-of-you smile and I tried my hardest to reciprocate. The truth was, I was terrified, but I was excited at the same time.

  “Cars, no one makes it big in this life by playing scared. Go big or go home baby girl.” My dad was a man of few words, but when he spoke, wisdom usually came pouring from his mouth. The words invaded my ears, and while I knew he was right, I had to work myself up into the excitement phase of it all. I knew I was more than capable of doing the job and doing it well, I just had to make someone else believe in the same things, and that part I was not so sure about.

  We finished up and I said my long goodbyes to my parents. I knew I’d see them at the end of the week, but I missed them, neurotic and all.

  <>

  Driving back to my apartment, I lay me head back on the headrest and put my foot up on the dash board. The hum of the Shelby slowly massaged me to sleep. I awoke to the roar of the car pulling into the parking lot, and ran my hands through my windblown hair. I had nothing to do today but study. I had finals all week, an interview in a couple of days, and graduation at the end of the week. The daunting task of making it through this week had me already craving a bottle of Aspirin, but I just kept telling myself that I was up for the challenge.

  I trudged up to the front door, and lazily pulled myself in to my bedroom. The apartment was empty, which was nice, and I threw myself onto my bed, face up, and waited for Jason to join me. He came into the room and threw himself, face down, on the bed next to me. I looked over at his glorious brown hair, and rubbed my fingers through it, causing him to stir, and look up at me.

  “So you’re really going to stay in San Diego?” I asked him, trying to hide the shock in my voice. He gave me an incredulous look, and simply shook his head. “Why are you shaking your head?” I asked, genuinely interested.

  “I can’t seem to get through to you how far in I am. I’m not goin’ anywhere. Besides, what the hell is there for me back in Texas anyway?” I’m sure this was a rhetorical question, so I avoided answering. I knew Jason had professed his love for me, in more ways than one, but the thought of me making someone so complete and happy, didn’t equate with me at the moment, and I found it hard not to second guess myself.

  “I just didn’t know if you were ready to make these big life decisions.”

  “No time like the present. We graduate in five days, I guess I had to,” he grinned, “besides, I told you I love you. Outside of you, I have only said those words to my mom, and one other person. I meant every word of it.” My mind immediately jumped to the other person who he’d said those sweet words to, but rather than pick a fight, I kept the question suppressed inside of me, and focused on the more positive aspects of our lives right now. “I do have a question for you.” My eyes shot open, not sure of what direction this was going in.

  “What’s that?” My voice was a feeble tremble, afraid to hear the words ready to leave his mouth.

  “I’d like to know if you want to move to La Jolla.” His eyes glistened, and a look of relief washed over his face, almost as if he had been holding the question for a while.

  “Move to La Jolla? I can’t afford to move there.” I blurted out, and watched amusement, obviously at my expense; replace the relief on Jason’s face.

  “No babe, move to La Jolla with me.” He began caressing my arm, and I felt the heat radiate through my body at his touch. I would have loved nothing more than to move in with this beautiful guy, but I knew, in my moment of sanity, that it wasn’t the best choice right now.

  “Jason! We can’t do that. I am already tied to a lease on a condo with Chelsea…”

  “And, I’ll buy you out of it.”

  “It’s not that simple.” I began stuttering for words. His lovelorn stare caused me to lose my train of thought, and I had to clear my throat before being able to speak again. “My dad would kill me, well, you. We haven’t been together all that long, and a good chunk of it we’ve spent fighting or not speaking to each other.”

  “That’s only because what we have is deep. Its pain and pleasure mixed into one.” He stood, running his hands through his hair, “I don’t like the two place thing. I hate you having to pack a bag. I want you to come home, and have your shit in the closet, in our room. I want you to lie down at night, next to me, in our bed. That house is empty when you’re not there.”

  “You’ve been in it so long without me…”

  “Yeah, you’re right, I have. But now that I know what it feels like with laughter and sass, moans and groans,” he smiled saying this, “I want to keep it that way. Even when you’re pissed off at me, and stomping around with your hands over your chest; it’s a thousand times better than me being there listening to myself think.” I could tell he had put a lot of thought into this, but Chelsea kept popping in my mind, and I would feel absolutely horrible if I bailed on her without even discussing it with her first.

  “What about Chelsea?”

  ‘What about her?”

  “I can’t just dump her like that.”

  “She’s a big girl. She’s got Hunter, I want you.” The sincerity in his voice was too much to take, and I felt myself caving.

  “I need some time. I’m not saying no, but I’m not saying yes either.”

  “It’s not a no, so that’s all I care about. How about after graduation?”

  “After Texas,” I replied, trying to give myself as much time as possible.

  “Deal.” He walked over and kissed me hard. “You can even redecorate our house the way you want it.” The smile on his face was so large; I could see every tooth in his mouth. He could be so convincing, and yet, I still second guessed myself. I knew what my heart wanted, but my heart and my mind were conflicted, and I honestly wasn’t sure which was going to win out.

  After napping for a couple of hours or so, Jason got a couple of phone calls from his dad, demanding that he get some work done for clients before their meetings later in the week. He reluctantly peeled himself from my bed, and trudged to the front door. He stopped and kissed me possessively, and reminded me, “Think about it.”

  I nodded and he walked out the door.

  Going back into my room, I decided to study for Professor Velez’s final exam. All of my other classes would have fairly easy exams, but Management 457 was a tough class, with a tough professor. About an hour into my study session, Chelsea came bursting into the apartment, and yelled my name, while bounding into my room. I curled my lip at her and her interruption, but sat my notecards aside to entertain the intrusion.

  “So, what’s got you so giddy?” I asked, annoyance littered in my tone as well as on my face.

  “Jason.”

  “Hmmm, funny you should mention him, because I have something to tell you.”

  She gave me a look that demanded information.

  “He asked me to move in with him after graduation.”

  Chelsea’s mouth dropped, and after a few seconds, she regained her composure. The silence in the room was suffocating, and before she could fix her lips to say anything, I gestured for her to say something.

  “What the hell Cara? You don’t even know him really. Yo
u’ve had the most chaotic relationship known to man.”

  “I know. I didn’t say yes…”

  “And you’re not going to.”

  A knock on the door sent Chelsea bounding to answer it, and when she returned, Chase was standing in the door way behind her. “Remember that little detective work that we all set out on? I nodded my head, “well, our buddy Chase here, finally found some shit, that your pretty little ears need to hear.”

  I swallowed the thick lump that had lodged itself in my throat. A few days ago, I would have loved for nothing more than to find something, but today, I found myself wishing I could close the can of worms that I’d opened. Chase pulled out a series of papers from his back pocket and handed them to me. As I look them over, he began to speak.

  “So Jason and Stacey -- not just some friends from back home. Not just some fuck buddies out here in San Diego, they were destined to be the next big thing in their families. They were hot and heavy, on and off in high school, after high school, and then it seems there was an engagement of some sort.” I stared at the papers, but said nothing. “She is so close because she was so close.”

  I tossed the papers on my bed, “I already knew about this,” I said, much to their shock.

  “What?” Chelsea asked, holding her ear like she hadn’t heard me.

  “Yeah, I found that out a while ago.”

  “And you never said anything?” Chelsea asked, stepping forward.

  “Well I didn’t want to stir up anymore bad blood.”

  “And you are aware that she is going to Texas this weekend like you right?”

  The words cut through me like a machete and I looked to Chelsea for answers. She took out her cell phone and handed it to me. I stared at the screen and saw for myself that Stacey had written Jason a message:

  No invite for Bradley parties in SD? That’s okay, I’ll be at the biggest party of all in Heath!

  My nostrils flared, and the room all of a sudden felt 100 degrees warmer than it had a few seconds before. I noticed Jason hadn’t responded, leaving me to believe that he hadn’t even seen it, but Jacob had.