‘That’s great,’ she said flatly. It was, and at any other moment she would have been sparkling across at him, but receiving the news on the tail end of another non-event in their relationship had dampened down her spirits.
‘I’m going to turn in,’ he told her, trying to ignore her chastened expression. ‘It’s been a long day and tomorrow I have a lot to see to regarding the house. Have you given any thought to what I suggested about coming along to give an opinion on the décor? I’d be glad of your help.’
At that moment the inside of his house was the last thing on his mind. He just wanted her with him. Yet there was also the thought lurking that if he asked her to marry him one day and took her to live in her favourite place in the village, she would want the house to show signs of her taste and imagination.
‘Yes. I’ll come if you want me to,’ she said in the same flat tone, and as if the subject was closed settled herself in front of the television.
When she woke up on Sunday morning Kate’s first thought was of her promise to go to the house with Daniel, and she wondered how she was going to avoid imagining herself living there with him as his wife when the prospect was so remote.
She wouldn’t go back on a promise, she decided, but would keep a very low profile and only speak when she was spoken to. And that would be a first…
When she went across to her bedroom window the frost of the night before was glistening on the trees and lawns of Jasmine Cottage, and not far away the bells of the old Norman church were pealing out across the countryside into the quiet Sunday morning.
It was one of the familiar, magical sounds that she’d been brought up with. Would Tom consider moving here with Alex? she wondered. The boy loved it, she could tell. Yet it didn’t follow that his father would, and if she couldn’t organise her own life, she was hardly equipped to organise theirs.
A knock on the door made her reach for her slippers and a robe and when she opened it, Daniel was there with tea for two on a tray decorated with sprigs of holly from the garden.
‘Your room or mine?’ he said warily.
‘Mine,’ she said in the same flat tone as the night before. ‘How did you know I was awake?’
‘I saw you at the window when I went out to get the holly.’
‘I didn’t see you.’
‘Would you have wanted to?’
‘Not especially.’
‘That’s why I kept out of sight. The tea is a peace offering after my display last night.’
‘So you did want me?’
He groaned. ‘Of course I did. But I’m not into casual sex.’
‘And do you think I am?’ she asked, and her voice wasn’t flat any more. ‘You’re wrong if you do. So about you and I, then. What sort of a future have you in mind? I’ve watched you with Alex, and can see that you were meant to be a family man. Don’t you want children of your own?’
Her voice trailed away. A small pyjama-clad figure had appeared in the doorway, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and murmuring, ‘I’m hungry, Kate.’
She managed a smile. ‘Good morning, Alex. What would you like for breakfast?’
‘Cornflakes and toast, please, Kate,’ he said, waking up at the thought. ‘And orange juice!’
Daniel watched them go downstairs together, leaving him wishing that the day had started better.
When they arrived at the building site beneath a pale sun, Kate saw that the rooms were plastered now and the doors and windows had been glazed. The house would soon be finished and she thought that Jasmine Cottage would seem a desolate place without Daniel.
She wondered if he was anxious to move for other reasons besides the pleasure of being in his own home. Such as a desire to get away from their unavoidable closeness at the cottage.
At the surgery it wasn’t so bad. There were lots of other people around and they could avoid each other if they so wished, but it wasn’t so easy in the evenings and at weekends.
‘So what do you think of the house?’ he asked.
‘It’s going to be divine. You’ll have everything you could want here. A brand-new home and the river, the beautiful river, at the bottom of your garden.’
‘Do you envy me?’
‘No, not exactly,’ she replied, trying to sound casual. ‘If being king of the castle without a queen is what you want.’
Alex was engrossed in skimming stones over the water and, making sure that he wasn’t going to be overheard, Daniel said levelly, ‘If you’d been around when Lucy died, you might understand why I’m like I am.
‘She’d had the tumour removed, successfully we’d been told, and we were going ahead with our wedding plans. It was going to be a quiet affair in the circumstances with a honeymoon some time later when she felt stronger.
‘Everything was arranged, with the church and the reception booked, wedding gown and bridesmaids’ dresses chosen, but just one week before the big day Lucy collapsed with an embolism, a blood clot that had suddenly manifested itself, and she never regained consciousness. So, you see, yours wasn’t the only wedding dress that there was suddenly no use for.’
‘What did you do with it?’ she asked, a lump in her throat.
‘Took it back to the shop.’
‘So you’d done it before when I asked you to take mine.’
‘Yes. Something like it.’
‘I would never have asked if I’d known,’ she told him contritely.
‘You’ve already told me that and I believe you, so don’t feel bad about it. But now do you understand me better?’
She nodded without speaking. It was as if what he’d just said had put any chance of him loving her out of the question, and she wanted to run away to hide her hurt, but a strange person had appeared in the tearful blur before her eyes and it was time to gather her wits and be supportive.
The interior designer had arrived and as Daniel and she shook hands Kate went to call Alex away from the riverbank, and the four of them went into the cold shell of the house together.
When they were back home and preparing the evening meal Daniel came to stand beside her. Looking down at her bent head as she chopped vegetables for a stir-fry, he asked, ‘What did you think of the suggestions we received?’
‘Hmm. They were good,’ she murmured. ‘You didn’t need me.’
‘I don’t agree. Were the colour schemes and fabrics what you would have chosen?’
‘Some of them were. Others weren’t.’
‘Jot down those you liked and those you weren’t keen on and I’ll see what I think the next time I’m there.’
He wanted to tell her that all the time they’d been talking to the interior decorator from one of the large furnishing companies in the nearest town, he’d been imagining what it would be like to have Kate there for evermore beside him. Filling it with her vibrancy. Bringing it to life with her presence.
He’d imagined her holding a golden-haired baby in her arms and smiling down at a small dark-haired girl close by her side. But in the picture he’d been standing to one side, grave and unapproachable, and he’d known that he wasn’t there yet.
Monday was always busy at the surgery and on the following day it was busier than usual with seasonal ailments and people who’d come to grief on icy pavements.
So far there had been no snow to the disappointment of the children and the relief of older folk who knew how treacherous the road across the moors could be in such weather.
But the icy conditions were persisting and when Kate discovered that Jane Appleton had asked for a home visit, she was reminded of when she’d worked at the surgery previously and the elderly widow had been found with hypothermia in her remote cottage in a gully between the peaks after being cut off for a week in blizzard conditions.
She had recovered and refused to move to a less hazardous location in spite of advice from all sides. Now Jane had been brought to mind once more as she’d requested a home visit.
She must be over eighty by now, Kate thought, and from her re
cords it appeared that the stoic elderly widow hadn’t seen a doctor since the blizzard episode. But now she was needing one and had done the sensible thing by asking for a visit instead of venturing out onto the icy roads.
The gritting lorry would have been out on the road up to the moors because heavy traffic sometimes used it to shorten the journey to Sheffield, but Jane’s cottage was not the easiest of places to get to and the lorry didn’t go that far.
‘This house call to a Jane Appleton,’ Daniel said at the end of morning surgery. ‘I don’t recognise the address. Would you know where she lives?’
Kate nodded. ‘Yes, only too well. Jane lives in an isolated spot on the edge of the moors. She was once snowed in there with what could have been disastrous results. Afterwards we all tried to persuade her to move but she wouldn’t budge.
‘Her husband, Reuben, was a shepherd on one of the hill farms, and she’s lived at Gorse Brow Cottage ever since they married. He died some years ago and she lives there alone now. Jane is a hardy old soul but…’
‘Exactly,’ he said dryly. ‘Time marches on, and it sounds as if the lady might not be as fit as she was. She’s complaining of severe pain in the hips so I’m going to make her my first call.’
‘I’ll go if you like,’ she said,
Daniel shook his head. ‘Not in these weather conditions.’
‘I know the terrain better than you do.’
‘Then why don’t we both go? It will be an ideal opportunity for me to expand my knowledge of it. This is my first winter in these parts and I’m realising that the countryside can be dangerous as well as breathtaking.’
‘I hope the weather behaves itself for Sarah’s wedding,’ she said. ‘I’ve bought a pale blue winter suit and some matching calf-high boots, and for the evening I’ve got a long black dress that I’ve been saving for something like that.’ She smiled before continuing, ‘I bought Alex a smart jacket and trousers while I was shopping on Saturday and luckily they’re a good fit, so with one of his better shirts and a smart little tie he’s sorted. What do you intend wearing?’
‘I don’t know, Kate,’ he said sombrely. ‘I’m more concerned about what Sarah will be wearing and if you really are ready to see her in it.’
‘I will be,’ she told him steadily. ‘I thought you understood that I’ve moved on. I’m not in a time warp. I’ll be fine.’
And that’s one for me, he thought as they went out into the cold together. Another reminder that if my life is standing still, Kate’s isn’t.
Even before he’d examined her Daniel could tell that Jane Appleton needed two new hips, and to have to tell her that at eighty-five years old was a daunting thought. ‘I’m going to arrange for you to see a consultant at the hospital, Mrs Appleton,’ he told her. ‘You have quite advanced arthritis in both hips, from what I can see.’
She was a big buxom woman for her age, which might be fortunate with regard to stamina, but he was aware that it could be partly the weight she was carrying that had caused the hips to be so troublesome.
Jane took it all quite calmly. ‘I can’t grumble,’ she said. ‘Apart from that time when I was snowed up and thought I’d got frostbite, I’ve never ailed much. That was the worst winter we’d had for a long time and there’s been none like it since.’
‘How about moving nearer civilisation?’
She shook her head. ‘No. Here I’ve lived ever since my Reuben was taken, and here I’ll die.’
‘And what if this winter should turn out to be like the one you mentioned and we doctors can’t get up here to attend you?’
‘I’ll take my chances,’ she said stoutly. She smiled at Kate. ‘Can I offer you folks a cup of tea and a slice of homemade cake before you go?’
They were ready to leave and Daniel was shaking his head, so Kate told her, ‘Thank you, Jane, but no. We’d love to stop awhile but we still have some calls to make. The demand for our services increases rapidly at this time of year.’
As he drove away towards places that would be less hazardous to find Daniel was thinking that the patient they had just left might need to have a rethink about where she was going to spend the rest of her days, if her mobility got any worse.
When they separated back at the surgery Kate went to see the eyes and ears of the village, her mother’s friend, Frances. She’d received the hospital’s report on the tests that she’d sent her for and it had shown that she had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma to a degree that was treatable.
Knowing that Frances would have already been told the results by the consultant she’d seen, Kate was concerned that she hadn’t been to the surgery to discuss them in her usual forthright manner.
When Frances opened the door to her she knew the reason why. The driving force that had always kept her at the forefront of village affairs was missing. She looked pale and drawn.
‘I suppose you’ve come to tell me you’ve had the report from the hospital,’ she said listlessly as she stepped back to let Kate into the house.
‘Yes, I have,’ she said gently, ‘and I am so sorry that they have worrying news for you, Frances.’
‘I’ve got non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma,’ she said in the same toneless sort of voice.
‘Yes,’ Kate agreed, marvelling that a woman of such strength of character should be so demoralised. ‘But the hospital have said that it is treatable with radiotherapy, haven’t they, Frances? That the disease is confined to just one group of lymph nodes, which makes the outlook more promising.’
‘But what about all my committees?’ she wailed. ‘How will they manage without me? I haven’t time to be ill. If the treatment makes me too poorly to attend all the meetings that I chair, or worse still if I die from this thing, they will be in chaos. You know that everyone relies on me.’
‘It’s your health that is the most important thing now,’ Kate said, firmly but gently. ‘Concentrate on getting better, and I’m sure there’ll be someone who can cover for you while you are having treatment.’ She marvelled even more at the strange attitude of the woman sitting opposite her. Surely she wasn’t more concerned about her standing in the community than her health. But as she’d never had husband or children to fill her days, maybe it wasn’t so strange after all.
‘When is your mother coming home?’ Frances asked fractiously. ‘I miss her.’
‘Soon, very soon,’ she soothed. ‘My gran is going to live with her sister now that she’s much better, and Mum is dealing with the move. As long as there are no hiccups she should be home in two to three weeks.
‘Also we’re expecting young Alex’s father coming to stay with us. He’s due to be discharged from hospital soon, with the thought hanging over him that he might never be able to walk unaided again.’
‘Hmm,’ Frances said dismissively, own concerns uppermost in her mind. ‘So now I have to wait for an appointment for the radiotherapy, do I?
‘Yes, it shouldn’t be long, and in the meantime try to think positively, as you’ve always done, Frances. Just carry on chairing your committees and keeping to your daily routine. Remember that we at the surgery are always there for you.’
How ever did her mother cope with Frances? Kate wondered as she drove away from the house. It was fortunate that Ruth had lots of patience and a sense of humour.
At two o’clock the following afternoon Alex’s class was doing a play for their parents in the school hall, and as both of them wanted to be there Miriam had agreed to hold the fort at the surgery while they went to watch his stage debut.
As they walked the short distance to the school, Kate thought that this was the part of their lives that was problem-free, looking after Alex, and as she observed the strong profile of the man beside her she wasn’t aware that Daniel’s thoughts were running along the same lines.
They were part of the throng of parents and grandparents going to watch their children perform, he was thinking, and wished that Alex belonged to them. But the fact remained that he didn’t. He was Tom’s son, and with every pa
ssing day he was realising what he was missing out on.
He ached for Kate and the life they could have together, but there was a dread inside him that he might cause her hurt if he found that he couldn’t live up to any promises he made.
Strolling along beside him, with her cheeks rosy from the cold and the anticipation of what was to come at the school giving a spring to her step, she seemed content enough, but was she? The attraction between them was strong, with desire always just below the surface. But they had both been involved in painful situations.
For Kate there had been the broken engagement that she seemed to be shrugging off so successfully on the outside, but it didn’t stop Daniel from wondering if her feelings for him were part of her being on the rebound.
As for his side of it, he had been forced to bear the pain of all pains and it had changed him for ever. Neither of them had met as free spirits and how he wished they had.
CHAPTER NINE
WHEN the young actors came trooping onto the stage in the assembly hall, the two doctors exchanged smiles as Alex’s glance searched the audience until he found them a few rows from the front, and then he was smiling too.
As the story of the play unfolded, Kate and Daniel saw that not only was Alex a capable young artist, he could also act. Obviously their young charge was going to excel at the arts.
Daniel had taken his camera as Tom wasn’t able to see his son in the play, but at least when next they visited him they would have photographs to show him.
When it was over and the senior girls and teachers were bringing around refreshments, Graham, the headmaster, came to have a word with them.
‘Alex is doing fine,’ he said. ‘We’ll be sorry to lose him.’
‘So will we,’ Kate told him, ‘but it seems that he might be with us longer than we expected.’
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