by Debra Kayn
"Fuck," he muttered, putting his arm around her and pulling her head to his shoulder. "What else did he say?"
She filled him in on the conversation. By the time she'd finished replaying the phone call to him, his jaw ached from clenching his teeth. The dog in the yard was only a distraction for Tim to call Heather and freak her out.
"All I could think to do was stall and treat him normally until you came in the house, but he got mad and hung up," she said.
He kissed the top of her head. "There is no right way to handle my brother."
"I thought if I could talk to him like he expected me too, I'd be able to make him stop bothering you." She blew out her breath. "He just...went angry. I've never heard such contempt in someone's voice before. It was like he personally hated me, and I haven't done anything to him."
"I know," he whispered. "He's good at making others feel like it's their fault."
He'd lived through the guilt and pain of being someone's psychotic entertainment and learned to live through the torment until he no longer cared. Until he'd shoved his family out of his life and left them behind, hoping to be rid of them for good.
"How does your mom deal with him all alone?" asked Heather.
His head pounded. "What do you mean?"
"He said your mom was looking forward to having you back in the family, too."
"That's impos..." He sucked in his breath unable to go on.
He'd never told anyone his suspicions over his mother's death. Hoping to have solid proof, he'd waited to go to the police. One year turned into five with no leads and he'd given up. It was his word regarding the habits of his mom against whatever his brother would tell the police. He had no doubt about the outcome, and he'd finally accepted that justice no longer mattered. Dead was dead.
He patted his vest pocket for his cigarettes and thought about going outside and having a smoke. Maybe if he stalled or stepped away, she'd forget the question.
"That's...what, Rod?" asked Heather, lifting her head from his shoulder.
"Our mom died years ago." He stood from the bed. "She drowned."
"I'm sorry," she said softly. "You never mentioned her being deceased and he acted like she was still alive. I didn't know."
He cleared his throat trying to stop the urge to finally tell someone the truth about what happened to his mother. In the end, he failed to convince his mom that Tim was a danger to others, including them.
"Tim killed our mom. He took her to the river and drowned her," he said.
Heather got off the bed and approached him. "Why isn't he locked up?"
"No evidence. The police classified her death as an accident. People drown all the time, and there was snow on the ground. They believed she slipped and she couldn't swim. The only person who suspected it wasn't an accident was me and to tell law enforcement more, I would have to explain what I'd lived through with Tim, and that's a nightmare I don't feel like reliving." He kissed her forehead. "It's over, and it was a long time ago."
She shook her head. "I can't believe he acted like she was still alive."
"He's sick." The muscle in his jaw ticked. He'd fallen back on his family's excuse for Tim's behavior out of habit. "Let's go in the living room and watch a movie, get our minds off today, and let me hold you."
She nodded, slipping her arm around his waist. "Can I see if Girl will take one of those Milk Bones from me if I set it in the spare room? I could hear her barking on the other side of the bedroom door when you were outside, and you have no idea how much it helped knowing she was out there."
"The bones are in the pantry in the red tin."
"I'll meet you in the living room." She walked out of the bedroom.
He stayed behind giving in to the tension vibrating inside of him. Pissed at himself for once again hiding Tim's harassment from everyone. Swiss. His MC brothers. Heather.
Chapter Thirty Five
Heather stretched her legs in bed, crammed against the wall with Rod at her back. A position she craved now that she'd experienced something other than her king size bed.
She'd also come to the conclusion that silence had a sound.
The tyrannizing presence of nothing inhaled and exhaled as if blackness pulsed and breathed.
Something about yesterday's event when a stray dog showed up in the yard continued to bother her. Rod's whole house was secure. From the six-foot fence, security gate, alarms, cameras, steel doors, and what she'd found out after dinner, also bullet-proof windows, a dog —no matter how smart the dog could be— had breached his security.
There were only two ways for a good-size dog to get inside the yard. Either the dog dug under the fence or went over the fence. Though she'd never had a pet, she couldn't imagine a dog climbing over six feet of Cyclone fencing or Rod not noticing a hole on his property.
"You're a strong woman, sassy," whispered Rod in her ear. "No condoms in the fucking house, and I still made you come twice before bed, and yet you're not sleeping, and I'm beat. Why is that?"
She rolled in place and faced him. "Can I ask you something?"
His hand went to her head and brushed back her hair. "You want me to call one of my MC brothers and have them bring condoms over?"
She sighed, because she missed having him inside her, but until she calmed her thoughts, she'd never get through the rest of the night.
"I'm serious, honey." She slid her arm around his waist and held herself tight against him. "How did the stray dog get in the yard?"
Rod's exhale matched the oppression of the silence in the room. "I'm assuming my brother threw the dog over the fence to get our attention."
"There was no hole under the fence?" she asked hoping he was wrong.
She felt him shake his head. A lump formed in her throat, and she swallowed it down. Thank goodness, the dog hadn't been hurt.
"Why did you keep that from me when you came back inside the house?" she asked.
"Habit." He rolled onto his back, keeping his arm under her head. "It's always been my way to keep the awful things my brother had done a secret. That way I wouldn't have to dig deeper to find out the reasons why he enjoyed hurting people and animals."
"When you talked to my dad, did you tell him how the dog got in the yard?"
"No."
She hugged his body and laid her cheek on his chest. "That kills me, Rod. All your life, you've hidden who and what your brother is. His behavior is no reflection on you."
He stroked her head. As they laid there with the conversation between them, depressing them, it dawned on her that they'd come to the point of hiding in a house, waiting for Tim to show himself, all because of her.
Because she was involved, the situation had forced Rod to finally do something about his brother. If he hadn't of met her or fallen in love with her, he'd do nothing about his brother because he preferred to ignore and take blame for his brother's behavior.
"I'm sorry," she said.
Rod lifted his head off the pillow, and she could feel his gaze on her in the dark. "About?"
With dread, because she wasn't even sure he could see the problem they were having with his brother, she said, "For falling in love with you."
"What the hell?" He left the bed and turned on the lamp. "Why the fuck would you say you're sorry for that?"
She sat up in bed. "I'm not trying to cause a problem."
Rod, wearing his boxers and nothing else, stood beside the bed. "It's the middle of the night if you haven't noticed."
She patted the bed. "Sit down and listen for a minute. I didn't mean to get you upset."
He grunted but sat down. She rubbed his back, trying to ease the tension out of his body. If only he could see through her eyes and know that she wasn't coming at him out of anger, but pity. Pity he was too proud to accept.
Yet there was no fear of asking him more questions. "Can you tell me about what happened the last time your brother contacted you, before me?"
Rod leaned over and braced his elbows on his knees. "Nothing h
appened. He came to Haugan, he made contact with me, and I told him to fuck off."
"He never tried to contact you again?"
Rod shifted and looked at her. "Where are you going with this?"
She remained silent wanting him to answer her question first. Now that she'd spoken and got the conversation started about what was bothering her, she couldn't stop. Even if Rod decided at the end that having her in his life was too much trouble.
Rod's jaw tightened. "If he tried to contact me between the last time and now, I would've known. I had put up the fence and the cameras soon after the last time he got close to me."
"You know this for sure?" she said.
Rod frowned. "Yeah. Positive."
Her fear realized, she sagged against Rod's back. "That's why I'm sorry for falling in love with you. My presence in your life triggered him, and now he's after you," she whispered.
"Don't do this, Heather," he said.
"It's something we have to discuss." She straightened and gave Rod room to move.
"There's nothing more to say." He shifted.
She found herself on her back with him on top of her, his weight braced on his elbows. She studied his eyes and recognized the fact that he'd already thought of the coincidence himself. He knew Tim came because of her.
He lowered his face closer to hers. "Listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once. You and I have nothing to do with my brother. This is my fucking life, and I choose who I want in it. I can see it in your face, you think I'll leave you and maybe I would've once, but I'm not that man anymore. If you think bringing up problems will scare me away, you're fucking wrong. Nothing scares me more than not having you in my life. Don't you think I've gone over everything in my head, played every scenario on how this will turn out in the end? There's no version of my life that doesn't have you in it."
She blinked to clear her vision. "You can't promise that."
"I just did."
She inhaled a shuddering breath, her soul open and vulnerable. "I'm afraid."
Her irrational fear of being abandoned by men came from her dad walking out of her life when she was four years old. She could think of a hundred reasons why her childhood had nothing to do with Rod or their relationship, but the terror of losing someone she loved and had been her whole world remained. She hadn't even discussed with her dad how his leaving had affected her.
"You're better than me, sassy." He kissed her lips softly. "Only time is going to prove to you that I'm not going to walk out of your life. You might not believe it right now, but you are strong enough to take each day with me and keep going forward, no matter how scared you are."
"Everything is so new. You. Getting to know my dad again. The club. Haugan." She raised her hand and cupped his jaw and found herself shaking. "I keep telling myself that things are good. I love living in Montana. Dad and Gia treat me like I belong and have told me they want to be a part of my life. Then, I fell in love with you, and there are bad things happening to us that shakes my whole reason for being here."
"I'm going to make those bad things go away, for both of us." He rubbed his cheek against hers. "I promise."
Chapter Thirty Six
Battery, Mel, LeWorth, and Heather's dad walked out of the garage at Rod's house. Heather stood looking out the living room window. Her head pounded. It'd now been one week since her lockdown in Rod's house, and Tim remained a no-show.
She missed going outside.
Besides the strange dog showing up in the yard and Tim calling her phone, nothing else had happened, yet Rod kept her inside. Yesterday, members of the club started visiting. She had no idea what they talked about in the garage. Part of her wanted to know, and the other part wanted to pretend the frequent meetings were routine.
As long as the bikers kept coming to the house, it meant Tim was still out there somewhere.
She missed going to work.
She missed talking with her friends.
She missed the gatherings at the clubhouse.
Most of all, she missed having the freedom to come and go. Hanging around, doing nothing, only fed her imagination.
The bikers rode away. She let the window blind snap back in place and looked down at Girl. Yesterday, the dog had decided Heather was no threat and started shadowing her. At first, she thought it was because Rod was always at her side and Girl wanted to be by him, but this morning when Rod went out to the garage to do maintenance on his motorcycle, Girl stayed with her.
"We have a lot in common, Girl." Heather sat down on the couch. "You've got your issues. I've got mine. But, don't ever let someone tell you that you're crazy. We're not quite there yet."
Girl sat down at Heather's feet. She thought about petting the dog, but with Rod not near, she wasn't sure how Girl would handle the show of affection.
The silence in the house filled with a roar. Heather leaned her head back on the couch. The noise rumbled the whole house.
Rod had warned her earlier there would be noise from the air compressor, and Girl was obviously used to Rod working in the garage with his tools because she stayed on the floor and never flinched.
She stared up at the ceiling. A lonely cobweb hung along the open beam to the light hanging off to the side. With only time on her hands, she followed the silken web looking for the spider and found none.
Girl whined and stood. Heather leaned forward. Rod had put dog food and fresh water in the bowls earlier.
"What's wrong?" she asked, looking at the dog.
Girl scooted away from her, stopped, and barked. Heather thought to go get Rod, but the compressor was still on.
She stood. "What do you need, Girl? A bone?"
The dog walked a few more feet and looked back at her. Heather followed Girl's lead and ended up at the back door of the house.
"Do you need outside?" Heather moved over to the window in the kitchen and peered outside. Rod told her to keep the security alarm on, and if she needed him, she could open the kitchen door that led to the garage because there was a separate security system used for the garage area.
"Follow me. Don't pee on the floor," she said to Girl.
Hurrying through the kitchen, she opened the door to the garage. Rod was hunkered down beside his motorcycle with his back toward her. She called his name twice, but over the noise, he couldn't hear her.
Girl barked behind her.
She stepped back and swung her arm out to the side for the dog to go out through the garage, but Girl backed away from her. She sighed and shut the door, cutting off some of the loud humming noise.
"Is this one of your issues? Huh?" She walked to the backdoor. "Does the garage scare you?"
Girl danced by the backdoor in her need to go outside. Heather entered the keycode and shut off the alarm. Opening the back door, Girl ran out of the house, squatted in the middle of the yard, and then wandered around the bushes.
Heather shut the door, set the alarm, and went back through the house to tell Rod what she'd done. She stood in the open doorway calling his name several times until the air compressor finally shut off and she startled him by yelling.
Rod turned and raised his brows. "Hey."
"I'm just letting you know that I let Girl out the back door to go potty. I tried to let her out through this door, but she wasn't having any of that," she said.
"Did you check outside through the window first?"
"Yep." She took the two steps down to the garage floor. "I tried to get your attention to tell you first, but it was too noisy out here. That thing makes the house shake."
Rod grabbed a dirty rag off the seat of his Harley and wiped his hands. "Yeah, it takes a good ten minutes to fill with air and then continues to run when I use the impact."
Not having the chance to inspect his garage before, she inhaled deeply, enjoying the outside air blowing in from the open overhead door.
"The guys just left a few minutes ago." He grabbed a cigarette and put it in his mouth without lighting it. "It should only take
me another hour, and I'll be done out here."
"No hurry." She gazed around at all the roll-away tool boxes, his truck parked in the other stall, and the snowmobile on the trailer. "I thought my dad might come in and say hi."
Rod approached her. "They were heading back to the clubhouse and only wanted an update on how we were doing and fill me in on what is happening with everyone else."
"I guess it is Saturday," she said, knowing her dad was probably trying to get everything done so he could have time with Gia before she headed to the bar to work.
He took out his smoke, leaned in and kissed her. "How do you feel about going to the party tonight at the clubhouse?"
"Seriously?" She grabbed his vest. "Can we?"
He nodded. "Being safe doesn't mean I'm going to keep you a prisoner here, sassy. LeWorth and Mel said they'd escort us if we wanted to go. It'll be safe there."
"Yes. Absolutely. I want to go." She slid her hands underneath his vest and sprawled her fingers on his hard chest. "Give me one more kiss. Then I'll let you get back to work and let Girl back in the house."
He captured her mouth, kissing her until she licked the softness into his lips, and he stroked her with his tongue. A bubble of excitement filled her, and she sighed into his mouth.
He pulled back. "I'll be in shortly."
"I'll go let Girl back in and set the alarm." She backed away and smiled. "I'm so excited. Tonight will be a blast."
"Oh, hey." Rod held up his finger. "Hang on."
He walked over to his toolbox and opened the top drawer. She stepped back into the garage.
"Mel brought this over." He handed her a box of condoms.
She grabbed the package and pointed at him. "Please tell me he snuck these to you when my dad wasn't looking."
"Okay, he did." He grinned.
She groaned not knowing if she should look forward to later when they could use the condoms or embarrassed because her dad was witness to the exchange, and walked back into the house. At least their time together got more interesting.