After a half-hour nap on Gabi’s lap, Finn lifted his hand. “Isn’t this enough?”
Gabi glanced down at Kai and stroked his forehead. “I’m not sure it is.”
Finn struggled with conflicting emotions. He was glad that Kai could feel safe with Gabi. At the same time, he knew Kai couldn’t count on her. She was leaving soon. The knowledge twisted inside him.
“Let’s let him sleep in his bed,” he said to Gabi and lifted Kai against his chest. Kai wiggled and sighed.
Finn took his nephew inside, changed his clothes, and laid him down, then walked from the bedroom to the den.
“Did I do something wrong?” Gabi asked, standing in the den.
Finn shook his head. “Not a thing,” he said. “I just realized that Kai is growing attached to you and you’re leaving soon. I need to protect him.”
Gabi’s face fell. “Should I have done something different? Should I have distanced myself from him? Not allowed him to go to sleep in my lap?”
Troubled, Finn shrugged. “No. It’s just that—” He broke off because it was hard to explain.
“You say you like me because I’m all in,” she said. “But you want me to pull back with Kai. I’m confused.”
Finn sighed. “It’s different with Kai. I have to protect him. With me, I’ll just have to handle the memories when you leave.” He met her gaze. “I’ve dealt with loss before. I’m older. Kai has already experienced too much loss already.”
His words hurt, but Gabi not only understood Finn’s need to protect Kai, she admired it. A terrible lump of emotion formed in her throat and she swallowed hard so she could speak. “I think you should take me back to the resort now,” she managed.
He gave a slow nod. “I can do that,” he said reluctantly.
Less than two minutes later, she and Finn got into his Jeep and backed out of the driveway. During the drive, he didn’t speak. Neither did she. But the emotions flowed like fireworks between them.
She felt too much and she suspected he did, too. The ride felt interminable. Finally, he pulled into the resort parking lot.
Finn turned toward her, but she didn’t want to hear what he had to say. She lifted her hand and drew his head toward hers, then kissed him full on the lips. The sensation made her dizzy and she pulled away.
“Thank you for everything,” she said. “You’ve been wonderful. And Kai is the sweetest, most adorable kid in the world. I will never forget you,” she said, and kissed him again. Then she raced out of the Jeep.
Her heart hurt and her eyes burned with tears. It shouldn’t be this way, she thought. This should have been a little vacation fling. An insignificant destination affair. If that was true, then why did she feel as if her heart was being torn from her chest?
Gabi had clearly made a huge mistake.
* * *
GABI LAY DOWN on her hotel bed for a few moments to try to clear her mind and relax. It didn’t work, so she got up and took a shower. She wanted to wash away her volatile feelings. But the shower wasn’t the cure she’d hoped for.
Swearing under her breath, she decided she’d have to put herself together physically and hope for the best. She fixed her hair, put makeup on her face and then pulled on a Spanx, followed by her dress for the wedding.
She looked in a full-length mirror and deemed her appearance acceptable, then put her cell phone, room key, lip gloss and powder into her small purse. She was ready to face the world, and heaven help anyone who shot her a pitying glance.
Gabi walked toward the beach for the wedding. She immediately ran into her ex and his beaming wife.
“Gabi,” Bill said. “Good to see you. You look great.”
Gabi smiled. “Thank you, and congratulations again on the upcoming birth of your child,” she said to both of them. “I’m sure you’re excited for the baby to come.”
Candace smiled. “I can’t wait,” she said. “It was a surprise, but a good one.”
“Yeah,” Bill said with less enthusiasm. “Definitely a surprise.”
Gabi bit back a laugh. Oh, well. That was telling. Bill wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic about becoming a father as she’d thought he’d be.
“Where’s your surfer guy?” Candace asked.
“He has a little boy and has to take care of him today. I’m sure you’ll learn about that yourselves, soon enough,” she said
“Very soon,” Candace said, linking her arm with Bill’s. She smiled up at him and he gave a vague nod.
“Yep,” he said. “Guess we should go to the main event.”
“I think we should,” Gabi said and walked ahead of them.
She walked toward the chairs set up on the beach and sat a row behind the seat where her mother would be. It was a perfect late afternoon. There was a slight breeze. The beautiful sunset wedding was a romantic feast for the senses for the wedding party and guests. Gabi sighed, and the thought she didn’t want to think crept into her mind. She wondered if she would ever have a wedding. She quickly shut it down. This wasn’t about her, she told herself. It was about her brother and his bride.
She watched as her mother and father were escorted to the row in front of her. Gabi’s mom turned around and whispered, “You look beautiful, sweetheart.”
“You’re the perfect mother of the groom,” Gabi said in return.
Gabi’s mother squeezed her hand and turned around. The rest of the ceremony proceeded with sweet beauty. Her nieces wore pretty dresses and they stood with smiles on their faces. Cara’s mother and father, seated apart from each other, appeared at peace.
Cara was clearly filled with joy and love. Gabi saw the same expression on her brother’s face and couldn’t keep tears from her eyes. Nick looked at Cara as if she were the answer to happiness in his life. Gabi could only hope that his marriage to Cara would be everything he wanted and needed. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue as the sun set over the beautiful wedding.
The couple exited and the rest of the guests followed. Gabi took her time. She didn’t want to have to answer any more questions about Finn. She didn’t want to even think about him or Kai. She felt as if her heart had been hijacked by both of them. Gabi couldn’t help wondering if she would ever find the same kind of love her brother had found.
Strolling toward the reception site, she saw her mother and father, and considered avoiding them, but her mother raised her hand. “Gabi, sweetie, come over here.”
Her mother was the dearest person in the world and she couldn’t imagine that anyone could refuse her. Gabi went to her mother and embraced her. “Hi, Mom, how are you feeling?” Gabi asked.
“Emotional,” her mother said and slid her hands into Gabi’s. “I so want this to work for Nick.”
“I think they have a good shot,” Gabi said. “Cara clearly loves him and she wants to be good with Nick’s girls. She’s actually taking a course on how to deal with special-needs children.”
“Really?” her mother said, and dabbed at her moist eyes. “That’s very impressive and gives me a lot of hope.”
Gabi gave her mother another hug. “I think they love each other. I guess that means we need to support them. That’s what you’ve always taught me.”
“You’re the best daughter ever. Speaking of which, I tried the green cosmetics and I love them. Preston,” she said, nudging her husband. “Tell Gabi about the green cosmetics.”
Her father leaned toward her. “Everyone has been hounding the hell out of me about these products. I couldn’t figure out how they knew I was connected until one of them handed me a survey they’d been given.” He pulled it out of his pocket and showed it to her. She read the telling line at the bottom of the document. Tell Preston Foster what you think of these products. He wants to know.
“Why in hell did you do this?” he demanded.
Her stomach
knotted. “I, uh—I didn’t. But it was a great idea.” She laughed.
“What do you mean you didn’t do this?” her father asked with a frown.
“I didn’t put together the survey. Finn did,” she said. “But, like I said, it was a great idea, wasn’t it?”
Preston gave a grudging nod. “It’s a limited sampling.”
Gabi groaned. “Whatever.” She stepped away from her parents. A waiter moved toward her, offering a glass of champagne from the tray he carried. Gabi accepted, and because she was feeling edgy and out of place, she turned on her phone and checked her messages. One caught her interest. The drugstore company she’d been wrangling with over the new line wanted in. Several people had tried the products and they wanted to move on the line now.
Adrenaline raced through her and she pulled her father aside. “I love you, Dad, but in terms of the organic line, it’s time to put up or shut up. The drug company is ready to go to contract now.”
Preston scratched his chin and looked down his nose at his daughter. “That’s some nerve bringing this up at your brother’s wedding.”
Gabi felt a pang of guilt, but worked past it. “You would do the same,” she said.
Preston stared at her for a long moment then shrugged. “You must be a chip off the old block. You want the green line, you’ve got it.” He hugged her.
She felt the tiniest bit of excitement, but it quickly evaporated. Gabi didn’t feel her father’s embrace on the inside. Her win felt incredibly superficial. Did she want to be a chip off the old block? “Thanks, Dad,” she managed, but pulled away from her father.
She should be filled with exhilaration. She waited for the thrill, but it didn’t come. Perplexed, she walked to the edge of the crowd and took a sip of her champagne. Why wasn’t she turning cartwheels? Why wasn’t she over the moon?
Suddenly, she felt a nudge against her arm and looked beside her. Finn. Her heart leaped. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I never said I wasn’t coming, but I had to take some extra time with Kai. I’m not so sure about Alani. She doesn’t seem well at all.”
“I thought the same thing. What made you leave him tonight?” she asked.
“I left him with another cousin. I’ll leave him with Alani tomorrow morning, but she’s going to the doctor tomorrow afternoon. I’m hoping we’ll get straight after that.”
Gabi gave a slow nod. “Good,” she said.
‘Yeah,” Finn said. “How’s the wedding going?”
Gabi smiled. “Great, so far. Very sweet. I’m crossing my fingers and toes that everything will work out for Nick and Cara.”
A band began to play a slow, romantic song.
Finn looked into Gabi’s eyes. “Wanna dance?”
Gabi took a deep breath, knowing this might be her last opportunity to dance with Finn. “Of course,” she said, and he led her onto the dance floor.
“How’s Kai?” she asked, treasuring the feel of Finn’s strong, hard body swaying against hers.
“He’s good. Like I told you, Kai’s mother had a lot of relatives here. I wanted him to have a chance to experience that family. His cousins are usually more than happy to look after him when I need a break.”
“He’s such a sweet, happy boy. You’ve done a good job,” Gabi said.
“I can’t take all the credit,” he said.
Gabi laughed under her breath. “Now you’re getting humble. That’s not right.”
He lifted his mouth in a slow grin and spun her around. “I can be humble.”
“But it’s not your regular nature,” she said.
His face grew serious. “I’ve learned humility since I took on Kai. This fathering thing isn’t all that easy.”
“Don’t underestimate yourself the way you say I underestimated myself. I’m betting Kai would say you’re pretty amazing.”
“Kai is very forgiving.”
He spun her around, adding to her lightheadedness.
“You look beautiful tonight,” he said. “But you looked beautiful when you tried to surf.”
Gabi laughed. “I’m going to miss your flattery, Finn. I know what I looked like when I tried to surf. I looked like a sputtering sea creature.”
“Mermaid,” he suggested.
She laughed again. “Yeah, right.”
“You know, you really should give surfing another try. You’ll love it eventually.”
Her heart tightened. “I’m leaving tomorrow. There’s no time,” she said, regret burning through her.
“You could change your flight,” he said.
What a tempting idea. Gabi considered it for a moment. She played with the appeal of it. What if she were completely free? Would she stay with Finn to see what could happen between them? The connection she felt with him was far more than that of a holiday flirtation. As it was, she didn’t know how she would feel once she returned to Chicago.
She closed her eyes and sighed. “You’re making it hard to leave.”
“Is that a bad thing?” he asked, pulling her against him.
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. “I have to go. My life is in Chicago. The deal I’ve been working on has just come through. Everything is finally coming together for me in my career.”
He gave a slow nod. “I knew you’d have to go. I just can’t remember feeling this way about a woman.”
A knot formed in her throat. “I feel the same way about you,” she said. “And Kai.” Tears burned at the back of her eyes. “This is so hard. Maybe I could visit.”
“Yeah. When you can fit it into your schedule,” Finn said. “But you didn’t even want to come here for your brother’s wedding. How much harder will it be if there’s no real family obligation?” With a sad smile, he lifted his hand to her head and stroked her hair. “You’re all in with your career right now. Maybe that’s the way it should be.”
“Then why does leaving feel so wrong?” she asked, her voice breaking.
“You have to be the one to answer that,” he said, and gave her a warm and wonderful hug. “I wish I could stay tonight, but I can’t. I have to take Kai home.” He pulled back slightly and looked deeply into her eyes. “This will have to be goodbye.”
Goodbye. The word tore at her. “I didn’t expect to feel this way.” She shook her head. “Or maybe I just put off how I thought I would feel.” She looked up at him. “I wish there was another way.”
She watched him take a deep breath and narrow his eyes for a second as if he were mentally girding himself. “I’m glad I met you,” he said. “I wouldn’t change that.”
“I wouldn’t change it, either. I’ve never met anyone quite like you, and I’m pretty sure I never will again.”
Finn pulled her close and she rested her head on his shoulder. She put her hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat. Closing her eyes, she treasured the quiet moment. In some ways, this was more intimate than sex. They’d both bared their feelings—their hearts—to each other. She was torn between deep gratitude for the short time they’d had together and the loss she was already beginning to feel.
“It’s time,” he whispered. She lifted her head and he kissed her. The kiss was full of everything they both felt—gratitude, longing, passion and something deeper....
He finally pulled back. “Take care,” he said, and she watched him walk away.
It was on the tip of Gabi’s tongue to call him back, to blurt out three impossible words, but she stopped herself. Barely.
Then she cried.
CHAPTER SIX
GABI FORCED HERSELF to return for the rest of the wedding festivities. She watched her brother and his new wife cut the cake and gently feed each other bites. She watched her mother and father sway together in a romantic dance. Everyone seemed to be wea
ring a lovey-dovey glow. Except her. Her mind was whirling with images of Finn. She couldn’t understand how he’d made such an impact on her in such a short time.
Frowning, she tried to focus on her brother’s celebration, but her heart just wasn’t in it. Gabi successfully hid behind a bush as Cara tossed her bouquet. Soon after, she joined the crowd as they gave a bubbly send-off to the bride and groom. Ready to disappear from the whole scene, she raced to her room and changed into comfortable pajamas.
After scrubbing her face clean and brushing her teeth, she packed her suitcase so she’d be ready to go, even though her flight didn’t depart until the afternoon. She’d had a full day. She could only hope she would sleep like the dead.
Turning off the light and sliding under the covers, she closed her eyes. Her body was tired. She could feel the weariness in her feet and legs, even the muscles in her shoulders. She took several deep breaths, willing herself to relax, willing her body to sleep.
Her mind kept turning to Finn and Kai. She tried all her regular tricks to fall asleep, but none of them worked. Finally, she drifted off. But she kept waking up in a panic. Her heart raced and her mouth was dry. What was going on?
At 5:00 a.m., Gabi gave up any chance at sleep and showered and dressed. By six, she could’ve been ready to go to the airport. An earlier flight? Her mind shut that down in a millisecond.
Unable to stand being in her room with herself one more second, she decided to head for the beach. Maybe the sound of the ocean would calm her. Besides, she may as well steal one more glance, since she was headed back to the frozen tundra of Chicago. No ocean or balmy breezes there.
Gabi headed down the path, took off her shoes and relished the sensation of sand between her toes. She walked a ways down the beach and plopped down to stare at the ocean. The sound was soothing, but her heart still hurt. She absently grabbed a little stick and drew in the sand. The action reminded her of Kai and his excitement about playing tic-tac-toe. She smiled at the memory. She looked at the ocean and remembered the first time she’d laid eyes on Finn. She’d thought he was a typical surfer guy, but she’d been so wrong.
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