by Jenna Jacob
Why would you even want to see her again? his brain balked, scolding his growing desire. She’s got some audacity to come strolling back to town after what she did to you.
He’d gotten over her…well, for the most part, but his libido wondered if she was still as beautiful.
It doesn’t matter. She left you once…she’ll damn well do it again. Let it go.
Reality won over fantasy. It didn’t matter that Katie would always hold a place in his heart. The fact that she’d up and run away in the middle of the night proved she’d never truly loved him. Not the way he’d once loved her. He’d been a fool to dream of marrying her, of raising a family and growing old together. What irked him even more was that he’d never been able to completely purge Katie from his soul.
“Daddy,” Nina groaned impatiently.
“Right, baby,” he murmured before rapping his knuckles on the screen-door frame.
“Come on in,” Gran called.
Sky opened the door and Nina bolted inside. “I gotta go pee-pee, GG Gran,” she cried as she raced toward the wide wooden staircase directly past the foyer.
“Nina. You need to ask, not announce,” Sky scolded.
“She’s fine,” Gran assured him as she came out from the kitchen. “Don’t fuss at her. We’re family.”
The old woman watched Nina scamper up the stairs. Her mouth was set in a tight line, and worry bunched her brows together. “What’s wrong, Gran?” Sky asked.
“I’m not sure. Katie is coming home.” She cast a worried glance his way.
“Well, that’s good news, right? Why aren’t you spinning cartwheels down the driveway?” he replied with a nervous smile, wondering if something bad had happened to Katie. “You look worried. Is she all right?”
Why do you care?
Because he’d never stopped caring…when he was honest with himself. Like it or not, he still loved the strong-willed girl and couldn’t vanquish certain memories that constantly haunted him—like the night they’d graduated high school. He’d nearly stood on his chair and screamed for the class president to shut the hell up as the commencement speech dragged on and on. Though he and Katie were supposed to attend the all-night senior party, Sky had arranged for something better. He’d driven her to Marshalltown, where he’d booked a hotel room earlier in the day. Not only had he set candles around the room and on the edge of the bathtub, he’d also left a dozen red roses lying on the bed. Of course, he’d hidden a box of condoms in the nightstand. Sky had wanted it to be a night they’d both remember. He certainly did…she’d given him her virginity and he’d given her his.
They’d spent that entire summer in each other’s arms, tumbling in the hay barn or in her bed when Gran was away. The sex had been incredible, passionate, and beyond mind-blowing. He could still taste her lips, feel her smooth, creamy skin, and recall the smell of her tart, slick pussy. Life was amazing until she’d finally come clean. She’d been hiding a huge secret from him that had blindsided him into a stupor—Katie had been accepted to a college in Chicago. Sky’s dreams were shattered.
After reeling from the shock, he’d gotten mad. Katie’d cried and they’d spent the next several hours fighting like enemies. She’d confessed that she’d known she’d been accepted but that she hadn’t known how to tell him. To Sky, the answer was simple, she should have opened her mouth. But he knew the real reason she hadn’t said a word…Katie was scared, and for her to admit that out loud would have been a catastrophe—at least in her mind.
After the initial anger had worn off, Sky had grown determined to save her from her fears. He wasn’t going to roll over and just let her walk away. He’d known what he had to do, but before he could put his plan into motion, she’d left. Like a fool, Sky had thought his love was enough to make her happy. He’d been wrong…so fucking wrong. It had been a bitter pill to swallow, and after weeks of stumbling around in a fog of heartache and confusion, Sky had finally pulled his head out of his ass and begun making plans of his own.
Six months later, he’d stood, a Marine with something to prove in the desert of Iraq. But that had turned out to be an even bigger mistake, with one exception: Nina.
After numerous tours of duty and a stint as a private contractor, Sky had returned home with a newborn baby and a shitload of ghosts haunting him day and night…especially night. He and Nina had settled in with Brooke, where Sky poured all his energy into raising crops and taking care of his daughter. It helped keep him from being eaten alive by betrayal and guilt.
“Well, first of all, I’d break a hip doing something as wild as a cartwheel,” Gran teased, but the lack of sparkle in her pale blue eyes told Sky the woman was steeped in worry. “Secondly, I don’t have time. I need to tidy things up around here before Katie arrives.”
“Do you need a ride to Des Moines to pick her up?” The offer was out of his mouth before he could call it back. The ache to hold her in his arms warred with the parts that loathed the thought of seeing her again.
Sky had never had a problem divorcing himself from his emotions in the desert. His success rate for interrogations had left all the other independent contractors in the dust. Of course, he’d let his anger rule him, and not being bound by military rule, Sky had been as cold and ruthless as a machine. Yet when it came to Katie, he turned into a complete pussy, and it totally pissed him off.
“Thank you for the offer, honey, but she’s not flying. She’s driving,” Gran replied.
Sky didn’t miss the suspicion suffused in her tone. “Driving?” he repeated, arching a brow. “That’s a pretty long drive for a woman alone. Or is—”
“No. Doug isn’t with her.” Simply saying the man’s name made Gran’s lip curl in disdain. At least they shared the same contempt for the prick who had his Katie.
Stand down. She’s not your Katie—she never was, or she’d still be here.
Though he had always been grateful Gran had remained tight-lipped about Katie’s happy little life with Doug, at that particular moment, Sky wanted the old woman to spill every detail.
“I’m not keen on her driving alone,” Gran sighed. “But she’s lived in that dangerous city for years and managed to stay alive. I’m sure she’ll make it home in one piece.”
“Do you know how long she’s planning to stay?”
You just can’t shut the fuck up, can you? the voice inside his head complained. He clenched his jaw and tried to find a calm place within to seek refuge but found none.
“I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out once she gets here.” Gran painted on a smile, but it wasn’t a warm one. “Tomorrow night, why don’t you, Brooke, and Nina come for dinner? We’ll have a little welcome home party for Katie.”
“You should probably check that out with her first,” Sky suggested. “She may not want to see… She may not want company right away.”
Gran’s expression softened. She reached up and cupped a soft palm to his cheek. “I know seeing her again is going to sting.”
Sting? More like a fucking crowbar through the heart.
“She did you wrong. No doubt about that. But she’s the one who has to settle things with you. I hope she does, and I hope you can find forgiveness, because it’s time for you two to move on.”
Sky’s heart clutched. He had tried to move on; Nina was proof of that fact. But moving on meant keeping a lid on his secrets. If anyone learned the truth, they’d never be able to look at him again. Especially Nina. She’d never forgive him. He couldn’t even forgive himself.
Nothing good would come from seeing Katie except a metric ton of emotions he had no desire to dissect. Not only had she forged a new, happy life with Fuck-face, Sky lacked the strength or desire to get tangled up in a relationship again. His track record sucked donkey balls.
“I have moved on,” Sky mumbled as little feet pitter-pattered overhead. “Nina’s my future now. That’s more than enough.”
They watched his daughter hop down the stairs. Her dark eyes twinkled, and white, pearly teet
h sparkled against her sun-kissed skin.
“Stop right there,” Sky demanded. With a smile, he opened his arms. “Want to fly?”
Nina threw back her head and giggled and then launched off the fourth stair. Sky caught her in one beefy arm before he swung her onto his back. Nina laughed even harder as she clambered to sit on his shoulders. The feel of her tiny hands cupping his chin warmed Sky’s heart. Indeed, Nina was his future, and maybe if he taught her all about love and compassion, it might be enough.
“Pony ride, Daddy. Pony ride!” Nina squealed.
“In a minute. What do you tell GG Gran, first?”
“Thank you for letting me use your potty, GG Gran,” Nina sang.
“You’re welcome, pumpkin. You can use my potty any time you need it,” Gran said with a chuckle, reaching up to tap a finger on the end of Nina’s nose. “We’ll see you tomorrow night for dinner.”
“I’ll check with Mom, and if Katie’s ready for company, we’ll come.”
“Me, too? Can I come to dinner, too, or is it just a grown-up’s?” Nina asked. Sky heard the worry of rejection in her tone.
“If you don’t come, then none of them will get any of my fried chicken.”
“Fried chicken?” Nina screamed. “I love friend chicken ’cuz I don’t have ta use silverwares. I get to eat it wiff my fingers.”
“Don’t get all excited yet,” Sky warned his daughter. “It depends on if Miss Katie is ready for company or not.”
“But I’m not comp’ny, Daddy. I’m family. GG Gran said so,” Nina proclaimed.
“Yes, you are, so that means all my family is invited. My Katie-girl is going to love meeting you. Come over at six o’clock,” Gran insisted, tipping Sky a final nod.
“Yay,” Nina cried out, wiggling on his back.
He nodded grimly, fearing the dinner party would turn into a snipping contest, or even a full-out yelling match between him and Katie. He still had a lot to say to her, none very friendly.
“Stop fretting,” Gran admonished. Her brows knitted together with a scowl. “Katie has to face the music sooner or later.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think we share the same song now,” he mumbled.
“You leave her to me,” Gran assured him.
Sky gave a grunt. If anyone could handle her, it was Gran. She used to lock horns with Katie almost as much as he had. “I’m finished with the gazebo. Is there anything else you need me to do?”
“Actually, yes. Would you mind helping me put some clean sheets on Katie’s bed?” Gran asked.
“Sure. I’ll be happy to,” Sky replied, plucking Nina from his shoulders.
Following Gran upstairs, he realized he hadn’t stepped foot in Katie’s room since the night she’d left. Memories pressed in all around him. Anxiety mounted. He nearly stumbled back when he entered her bedroom, discovering nothing had changed. Katie’s green-and-gold pom-poms from her cheerleading days were still nestled on her dresser, and photos of the two of them curled on the ends against the mirror. Even the ceramic unicorn he’d given her for her sixteenth birthday sat on the nightstand next to her bed. His gaze drifted to the white cotton bedspread, and visions of her naked in the moonlight popped into his head. He still could see her flawless, creamy flesh…see her writhing and moaning with his head between her thighs as he drank down her spicy, tart cream. Feel her stiff, hard nipples between his fingers as he tugged and pinched them while her breathless cries filled his ears. His cock remembered, too, and stirred restlessly behind his zipper. Tearing his gaze from the bed, Sky wanted to be anywhere but here.
Son of a bitch. I don’t need this kind of torture, he inwardly groused.
Nina stood in the center of the room, her round, dark eyes wide with wonder, settling with a longing stare at the stuffed teddy bear perched on a white wicker chair in the corner. The same chair he used to sit in while Katie laved her tongue and lips up and down his cock.
Fuck!
“You can look, Nina, but don’t touch. These things don’t belong to you,” Sky bid with a tone thick and strained.
“She can’t hurt a thing in here,” Gran whispered, pulling back the bedspread.
“I know, but she needs to learn to respect other people’s property,” Sky muttered as he bent to help.
The second his fingers touched the fabric, the air seemed to still in his lungs, and memories assailed him once more. Between Gran’s Bible study group, quilting club, book club, bunko, bridge, the Red Hat Society, and Ladies’ Lions Club meetings, the woman’s busy social life had meant Katie had a lot of unsupervised time. Though they’d saved their virginity for graduation night, Sky and Katie had spent many hours exploring and learning each other’s bodies, sating almost every carnal craving and pleasure imaginable, without doing the big deed.
“Look, Daddy. Pom-poms,” Nina exclaimed, drawing Sky back to the present.
A cold sweat clung to the back of his neck as he acknowledged his daughter’s discovery while smoothing the fitted sheet in place. When he touched the mattress, a current caught fire beneath his fingers. His heart thundered against his ribs like a bass drum. If Katie had been there at that particular moment, he would have shoved Gran and Nina out of the room, tied Katie to the bed, and shown her all the reasons why she’d never want to leave him again.
Self-conscience of his throbbing boner, Sky took an inordinate amount of time working the sheets. Pointing his mind in the direction of the pink princess décor in Nina’s room, he focused on the colorful finger paintings taped to her walls. He thought about his crops of corn…anything to alleviate his body’s craving for Katie. The swelling began to subside as he helped Gran tug the bedspread back in place.
“Ahhh, that’s pretty,” Nina whispered as she admired the unicorn. Her eyes sparkled in the same look of awe Katie’s had the night she’d unwrapped the fragile porcelain figurine.
Unwillingly, he was tossed back in time. After a chaotic birthday party, Gran had left to have dinner with friends in neighboring Marshalltown. Under the guise of doing homework together, Sky had remained. That was the first night he and Katie had begun discovering how to make each other feel good…very good. His cock pulsed back to life with a vengeance. Twisting his tool belt to cover his crotch, Sky snagged Nina off the floor before bidding Gran a hasty good-bye.
After racing down the stairs and into the bright July sun, Sky sucked in a deep breath.
“I’m hungry, Daddy,” Nina grumbled.
Sky was, too—but not for food. “Climb on my back, and I’ll pony ride you home and see what Gramma’s fixed for dinner.”
With an excited squeal, Nina scampered over his wide shoulders and wrapped her hand around his long, black hair as if holding a horse’s mane. Sky held tight to her chubby little thighs before rearing back and bucking wildly. Nina let out a shrieking giggle as he trotted down Gran’s drive and across the road. His daughter’s screams of laughter filled him with joy and smoothed the jagged edges evoked by the news of Katie’s return.
When they reached their porch, Sky plucked Nina off his back and brushed a hand over her head. “Go inside and wash up. Tell Gramma I’ll be in soon.”
Nina tugged his hand, coaxing him to bend down. “I love you, Daddy,” she whispered loudly in his ear before kissing his cheek.
“I love you too, muffin.” Sky smiled, clutching her close in a tight squeeze.
Nina yanked the front door open and raced inside. “Gramma. We’re back. I got to use GG Gran’s potty,” Nina shouted to his mom as the screen door slammed with a bang.
Sky couldn’t help but chuckle as he took a minute to send up a thank you to the gods for sending him such an amazing little girl full of love, light, and more energy than a power plant.
Suddenly, a rush of guilt slammed through him with the thought that Badra—Nina’s mother—would never get to see their beautiful daughter. Never watch her grow up. Never hear the sound of her laughter. Never feel her soft lips and sweet kisses.
Because you killed her.
Sky’s guts twisted. There was no salvation. He couldn’t wash the stains of Badra’s death from his hands in this life or the next. He slumped to the porch and hung his head, fighting the urge to spiral down the wormhole to the black abyss within. He had no desire to revisit the past. Yet the image of Badra—the last time he’d seen her, the one he couldn’t erase—blistered and seared the backs of his eyes.
“Enough. Don’t fucking go there again,” Sky commanded his own psyche.
He’d spent months wrestling his demons when he’d come home. The by-product of PTSD and guilt, it’d taken a long time for Sky to get his head screwed back on straight. Though Nina had been incentive, he still fought to keep memories of Badra trapped behind a wall of impenetrable lead. Mentally welding another bead of reinforcement along the seams, Sky scrubbed a hand across his face. Had Katie’s pending visit caused him to focus on the women he’d lost…to start picking at the scabs of his past? He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t going to sit there and ponder it further. Rising to his feet, he exhaled a heavy sigh and stared across the road.
He could see Katie, racing down the drive, her shimmering auburn hair blowing in the wind, and her green eyes sparkling in the sun. See the light spattering of freckles that kissed her cheeks and nose, and hear that sexy contagious laughter that always made him smile. His neglected cock stirred once more. Sky spat a curse before turning and walking inside.
After washing his hands, he joined his family at the kitchen table. Nina’s happy chatter helped settle his anxious mood, but a hum of anticipation continued buzzing inside him. When dinner was over, Sky cleaned up the kitchen, like he always did, while the girls headed toward the bathroom. Rarely did he intrude on his mom’s nightly ritual of drawing a big bubble bath and watching Nina play. Brooke would eventually scrub the little girl clean before tucking her into bed and reading half a dozen stories. Sky didn’t mind cleaning up the kitchen to give them daughter-grandmother time. He hoped the domestic chore might calm the restlessness crawling beneath his skin. But it didn’t. If anything, being cooped up in the house made him even edgier.