Back to Me

by Lindsay Paige

  He kisses my forehead. “You’re welcome. You haven’t told them yet, have you?”

  “No, I haven’t.”

  “How are you feeling about it?”

  I shrug. “Nervous and ready to get it over with.” The weight of that is starting to feel heavy.

  “It’ll be fine,” Noah reassures me. “They’re your parents, they love you, and they’ll probably give you a big hug by the end of it.”

  “I know.”

  Unfortunately, his cab arrives and it’s time for him to go.

  “I’ll call you when I get home,” he says.

  “Okay. Safe travels. Send me a picture of Leo, too.”

  “I will,” he promises.

  I hug him and kiss him goodbye. I watch as he gets into the cab, wave, and watch the car disappear down the road. Rubbing my arms, I turn to go inside to find Mom and Dad in the kitchen cleaning up the day’s mess. I start helping them where I can.

  “That was nice of Noah to surprise everyone like that,” Mom says.

  “Yeah,” I agree.

  “It’s really good to see the two of you together again. It’s like old times. I think it was good for Ashley and Carol to see, too. How can they be upset after seeing how happy he was, how happy you both were?”

  She has a point. I think that’s the main reason why Ashley finally loosened up with me. His mom, however, behaved as usual. “If only that would transfer over to Carol.”

  “Oh, she’s coming around,” Mom reassures me. I’m glad she can tell because I can’t. “It’s a hard thing to watch your child go through something difficult. You’ll be back on her good side by Christmas, I promise.”

  “And be glad you have William on your side. I wouldn’t put it past him to sing your praises every day until Carol is sick of him,” Dad adds.

  “I hope you guys are right.”

  We fall into silence until I can’t take it anymore. The words are about to pop out of my mouth. If only they would actually come. “I, ah...when I...I was home for a month before I told you I was home,” I finally say.

  Mom stops what she’s doing and turns to me. “What?”

  “I was holed up in my house for a month before I let you know I was here.”

  Mom looks to Dad who has now stopped as well. “Why?” she asks.

  “I had a miscarriage,” I whisper.

  Dad is at my side before I can blink. He tucks me into his side. “Start from the beginning.”

  They listen as I tell them everything. From how Vance was after my injury to finding out I was pregnant and telling him, to losing the baby. Dad holds me close and his strength helps me through telling them. Mom cries with me while Dad reassures me that everything will be just fine, now and in the future.

  I believe him, too.

  And even if something comes along to mess up my new plan, I’m positive Noah will help me through it.

  “HOW DID IT go with your parents?” I ask Meredith.

  “We all cried, but it went well.”

  “I told you it would be okay. You should start listening to me more often.”

  She laughs softly. It is kind of late, but she doesn’t have to be quiet. Her room is practically on the other side of the house from her parents. “I’ll try, but no promises. You forgot to send me a picture of Leo, by the way.”

  “How dare you accuse me of such a thing. You should check your social media more often. Go on. I’ll wait.”

  “Okay, hold on.”

  I can tell she’s smiling just from the tone of her voice. A second later, I hear, “Aw. You posted Leo on your account! I’m so proud of you.”

  “Good. You should be.” She laughs, and I add, “Next time, you need to take him with you.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because guess who’s cuddling with me?” Meredith laughs again. “You have a needy dog, Mere. He’s been following me around like a lost puppy. He even laid in the bathroom while I took a shower this morning. Do you know how weird it is to have a dog stare at you while you take a shower?”

  “Yes, because he does it to me, too. Did you give him a treat?”

  “He has treats?” I ask. Leo pops his head up and looks at me. His ears are perked up and at attention. He definitely knows the word treat.

  “Yes! I usually give him one every day.”

  “How was I supposed to know that?”

  “His treats are in the same cabinet as his dog food.”

  Oh. I should probably pay more attention. “I’ll give him one tomorrow before I leave. Sylvia asked if you could pick him up on your way home.”

  “Of course. Text me her address and I’ll put it in my GPS.”

  “Okay, I will. What are you doing tomorrow?”

  “Well, we’ll eat leftovers and then everyone is coming over to watch your game. I’m really excited. This is the first time I’ve watched one of your pro games with my parents. Oh! And my dad is going to help me figure out some of the details for my private lessons.”

  Hearing her so happy, knowing that the pieces of her life are finally falling into place, and that I get to be a part of that? It’s overwhelming. It makes me wish more than anything else that I was with her right now instead of in another state.

  “Noah, are you there?”

  “Yeah, I’m here. That’s great, Mere. When do you start back with Erica?”

  That launches her into how she’s thinking of hiring Kira as her assistant. I can, and do, listen to her talk about what she’s already figured out, what she’s hoping to figure out, and her hopes for this. She’s also hoping to continue working with Erica. That honestly surprises me a little, but if Erica is treating her better, as she should, then it makes sense that Meredith loves that job even more and would be willing to stick with it. I listen and listen until she declares she’s tired. Then I tell her I love her, listen to her tell me she loves me more, and hang up. I fall asleep knowing that the biggest piece of my life that was missing for entirely too long is here and here to stay.

  Not going to lie, knowing that Mere is sitting at home with my family and her parents watching this game, it’s making me a little nervous. I don’t know why since she’s obviously seen me play before, but I’m nervous nonetheless. Liam leads us onto the ice. My mind calms immediately. Game time is quiet time. The nerves fade away as my body prepares for the battle ahead of me on the ice.

  Unfortunately, our team seems to fall apart. I’m not even sure we’ve played a hockey game before. Passes are missed. Blue shirts are taking advantage of our turnovers. We’re a step too late in helping Savage defend his net. At the start of the second, we’re down three to nothing. Marco and I jump onto the ice for our shift.

  Something finally goes our way as Captain Hook wins the face-off and deflects it toward me. I skate with it for a moment before passing it to Nathan O’Donnell, or Donny. Donny takes off down the ice, causing everyone to follow him. He skates behind the net and I get into position on his right. He glances to his left while flicking the puck my way. I feel it hit my stick and quickly shoot, hoping to send the puck over the goalie’s shoulder.

  My shot pings against the metal pole. The Hockey Gods must be favoring me tonight because it hits the back of the goalie’s arm, which sends it straight into the net.

  “Fuck yeah!” I shout as the horn sounds, my arms going up into the air. The guys surround me for one of the great parts of hockey: a hockey hug that’s given after a goal.

  “Always the showoff, Rams,” Marco says with a laugh. I ignore him as I lead the way to fist bump my teammates.

  Five minutes later, a blue shirt, who has been trying to get under our skin, finally pisses Ian off enough after a high stick to his face goes uncalled. A second after the face-off, the two are dropping the gloves. Bruiser lands some good hits, only getting one in return, before the refs are pulling them apart. He’s still cussing on his way to the penalty box.

  That seems to give us a much-needed second wind.

  Thing One and Two a
re making themselves known when they’re on the ice, shooting the puck every chance they get. Bruiser, Marco, Tommy, and the rest of us D-men do our part, blocking shots that hurt like hell and covering the ice. Sav makes good saves and is solid for us.

  Unfortunately, no other Rebel scores, not for lack of trying. Coach Mike makes a comment about how we did good taking every shot we could, but it just didn’t pay off. Not to mention we had a bad start and it took us too long to get our shit together. Hopefully, we’ll do better in the next game. We need to be looking forward.

  I’m most looking forward to going home and seeing Meredith.

  After we win the next game, of course.

  “Noooooaaahhh,” Meredith half-whines, half-laughs as I attack her neck with my mouth. “We’re supposed to be planning our wedding,” she reminds me.

  Yeah, I come home from the New York road trip and she thinks the first thing on my mind is wedding details? No. The first thing on my mind is having sex with my fiancée. It absolutely has priority over some list her mother sent her home with. “Don’t fucking care about that, Mere,” I grumble.

  Her body turns to stone beneath me. “You don’t care about our wedding?”

  I sigh and lift my head. “Of course I do. I meant that I don’t care about the details. All I need is you in a white dress and someone to marry us.”

  “Then we have a problem.” She folds her arms over her chest.

  “Why?”

  “Because I want your input on those details you don’t care about. And I want to talk about my house back home.”

  Usually, that would make me tense, but not anymore. She’s here to stay and be with me. “What about it?” I ask.

  “I thought about selling it, but then Mom said I should keep it. That it could be ours to stay in when we go to visit. Plus, I already told you she mentioned having the wedding in the backyard.”

  I sit up on the couch and pull her with me since it’s obvious she isn’t as desperate for sex as I am. “Do you want to keep it?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean, I fell in love with it, but it never felt like home. Mom said you’ve been trying to find a house, so maybe mine can be it.”

  “Why don’t we keep it in mind and make a decision later? We can stay there for Christmas.”

  “Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe it’ll feel like home if you’re there.”

  That makes me smile. “Can I get back to seducing you now?” I pull her over to straddle my lap.

  “Is that what you call what you were doing?” Her voice lacks the teasing quality of her question.

  “Now you want to insult me, Mere? Might want to rethink that.” I quickly remove her shirt.

  “It’s about time for Leo’s walk.”

  I rest my hands on her thighs. It’s unusual for her to keep throwing excuses my way. “Is there a particular reason why you don’t want to have sex with me? I’ve been gone for four days, haven’t seen you in longer than that. What the hell, Mere?”

  Her eyes harden and her lips flatten. She crosses her arms over her chest again, but without her shirt, it just brings my attention to her breasts. She slaps my arm to get my attention. “You act as if I owe you sex.”

  Damn, this is going bad faster than I can breathe. “That’s not what I mean. I’ve been gone. I’ve missed you. All I want is to be with you before I have to leave again at the end of the week. What’s so bad about that?”

  Some of her resolve falls away as she drops her arms to place them around my neck. “Nothing,” she answers. “Ignore me. I’m just being weird.”

  I grab her hips and give ‘em a squeeze. “Something going on, Mere?”

  She reaches over to grab her shirt and puts it back on. Those green eyes flick toward mine before glancing away again. She takes a deep breath. “I just...I was late, so I thought that maybe...you know, but I’m not because it started yesterday. I don’t really know how to feel about it.”

  “Fuck, Mere. Why didn’t you say something sooner?” Now I really feel like a dick. I wrap my arms around her shoulders as she rests her head on one of mine. She’s on the pill but I don’t wear a condom, so it’s not like we’re extremely careful.

  “You had a game yesterday, and I was trying to figure out how I felt, so I didn’t want to bother you yet.”

  “Don’t worry about it, okay? Whatever happens happens, and we’ll be fine. Let’s focus on today and only look as far as our wedding. Let’s get your list and see if we can knock out some of what’s on it.”

  I reach for the list she had abandoned and spend the next few hours answering questions about the stupidest of details. But it’s important to Meredith and it’s now or later. I’d rather get it over with now, even though I know this is only the beginning. I’ve never been happier to see Marc in my entire life when he pops by. Meredith promised to cook dinner and she couldn’t leave Marc out.

  We sit in the kitchen while she cooks. I decide to throw him under the bus. “Marco said your ring was pitiful when he saw it.”

  Mere shoots him a glare, but he just shrugs. “He said it was what you wanted, but it does kind of makes him look bad. He has all that money in his bank account now, and he lets you settle for that?”

  “He didn’t let me settle,” she snaps, and it shows both of us how annoyed she is by it. “I’m not settling at all. He’s given me exactly what I want. It’s no one’s fucking business either and I don’t care what they think about him.” She points the spoon at me. “You shouldn’t care either. What happened to our opinions are the only ones that matter?”

  It’s not that I care what people think as much as it’s what I think. I want her to have better. We’re better now than we were then. Why can’t her ring reflect that? It does bother me, probably more than it should, and definitely more than it should considering she doesn’t mind in the least.

  “You don’t care what I think?” Marc asks, trying to lighten the mood, but Mere isn’t having any of it.

  “Not when it comes to my relationship with Noah.”

  “What about a compromise?” he pushes.

  Meredith sighs. “What kind of compromise?”

  “I don’t know.”

  She throws a noodle at him. “Such a big help. I’m not changing my ring.”

  “What if,” I start, gathering both of their attentions, “your wedding bands could have a row of small diamonds, one on each side, and I’ll buy you diamond jewelry every five years on our anniversary.”

  Meredith watches me for a long moment. “Does it matter to you that much?” she ask softly.

  “Yeah, Mere.”

  “Then, okay.”

  I flash her a grin. She honestly doesn’t care, but she’s giving in for me. I love that she loves that ring, but I want to do more for her. Meredith turns back to the stove, and I drink in the sight of her. Long tan legs, long straight brown hair, green eyes, a killer smile, and a heart of gold. In less than a year, she’ll be my wife.

  Finally.

  I feel like I’ve been waiting for that moment since I fell in love with her. It can’t get here soon enough. I can already picture her in a white dress with a big smile on her face as she walks toward me. That will be the best day of my life, followed by the day I met her and the day I ran into her at the airport. And to think she was about to talk herself into not coming at all.

  After the wedding, we’ll go on a cruise to the Caribbean for our honeymoon. We may just stay on the ship the entire time. It’s already my job to make her happy. Marrying her will make her happy. Making sure we do our best to get her pregnant and to have a healthy baby, whether it’s one or six. That’s something she wants, something I want, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure she gets what she wants, what will make her happy.

  “Is pasta the only thing you know how to cook, Meredith?” Marc asks her, dragging me out of my thoughts.

  “It’s the easiest to make, and Noah likes my pasta,” she says with a shrug.

  “Barf. You guys
make me sick.”

  “You’re free to leave,” I tell him.

  “I can’t deprive Meredith of her favorite Rebel. It wouldn’t be fair to her to leave just because you’re jealous.”

  “Throw another noodle at him, Mere,” I order as serious as can be, causing her to laugh.

  She tosses a penne noodle at him, but he manages to catch it in his mouth. “Not quite done,” he tells her.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do once you land a girlfriend,” she says. “You have to promise to still come around.”

  I laugh. “Don’t hold your breath over Marco meeting a woman.” I know for a fact he’s still thinking about that girl from the Halloween party. He’s two seconds away from being desperate and interrogating everyone who was at the Halloween party. He says he’s given up, but I don’t believe him.

  Meredith glares at me. “Why would you say that? He’s good looking and a great guy. He could easily get a girlfriend. Maybe the problem is you’re a bad wingman.”

  Marc bursts into laughter. “She has you there, Rams.”

  I shake my head at them both with a smile. They can talk shit all they want. I don’t mind as long as Meredith is happy.

  I’M SITTING IN the box, waiting for warmups to start, and I’m a bit surprised that Sylvia isn’t here. When I picked Leo up last Saturday, she said she was making her move soon to set Marc up. I’m starting to get anxious and I’ve been waiting for her to show up, so I can ask how soon is soon. I love Marc and I love having him over, but he needs a woman. He and Noah may get a kick out of calling him our third wheel, but there’s only so much longer he can be the third wheel. I’m still uncertain that who Sylvia wants to set him up with is the right person, but it can’t hurt to let them meet.

  Sylvia and a woman with blond hair finally arrive. Sylvia gives me a grin that quickly disappears when the woman gasps. Her eyes are glued to the ice. I glance down, but I don’t see anything abnormal. She starts hyperventilating and Sylvia is immediately concerned.

  “Lizzy? You okay?” she asks, but the woman doesn’t answer.