Glenda returned with the first-aid kit and handed Andi the sting kit. Andi opened the pack and handed some of the ammonia swabs to Glenda.
“Use these. Make sure you cover every sting.”
Andi tore open the swabs. She hoped the ammonia would ease some of the pain and deaden the formic acid that continued to be pumped into Gwen’s body in places where the stingers had detached from the hosts. Andi took her keys from her pocket and flipped to her grocery discount card. She used the stiff plastic to scrape the stingers off Gwen’s neck and stomach without pressing more venom into the wounds.
Andi pressed her fingers into Gwen’s hair as she cradled Gwen’s neck, trying to locate each sting. “Hold still.” She brushed her fingers gently over the swollen wounds, applying generous amounts of ammonia. When she began to work on the stings on Gwen’s stomach, Gwen’s breathing changed. Andi could hear each husky intake of breath, and she felt the first ping of panic. “Are you having trouble breathing?”
Gwen tensed when Andi’s fingers played across her stomach. She hadn’t really registered the stings as long as she was focused on Pria. Now they were becoming torturous pinpoints of fire and pain. She relinquished control to Andi, hoping for some relief from the pulsing heat that seemed to swell beneath each sting. But as soon as Andi’s fingers touched her, she forgot about the stings. Each stroke of Andi’s fingers across her skin felt like a thousand teasing kisses, and her focus was directed to the soft sound of Andi’s voice, the heat of Andi’s breath on her skin, the tender press of Andi’s fingers in her hair. Andi was so close to her she could once again smell the lingering scent of coconut and honeysuckle.
Andi’s hand flew up to Gwen’s face and cupped her cheek.
Gwen thought she would melt when her eyes met Andi’s. They were wide and fearful and reminded Gwen of an ocean storm. She was sure if she could hold Andi’s gaze long enough, she would see lightning flash. Andi’s cheeks were flushed and her lips were pressed into a worried line. They were so close Gwen knew she only had to lean forward a couple of inches to taste them.
“No,” Gwen said, her voice raspy. “I think I’m okay.”
Andi moved her hand away and went back to tending to the stings. Gwen closed her eyes for a moment trying to get a grip on her arousal. The last thing she needed was for Andi to recognize that what was happening to her had nothing to do with the stings and everything to do with Andi’s hands on her body.
“I think that’ll do for now. I really am okay.” Gwen sat forward and ran her fingers over the welts on her neck.
Andi looked around the group, counting each person out loud. “Okay, that’s it everybody. Let’s load up and get back to the station.”
Pria climbed into the truck and sat slumped in the seat with her head on Glenda’s shoulder.
Gwen shook out her shirt to make sure no strays were still hiding in the folds. She was glad Pria was okay and equally glad she seemed to have lost interest in her. Then she saw Andi rip open another ammonia swab and rub it over her own hand.
“Did one catch you too?”
Andi nodded.
“Let me see.” Gwen stepped forward, slinging her shirt across her shoulder. She reached out and took Andi’s hand which had swollen to double its normal size.
“Oh shit, Andi. Are you allergic to these things?”
“Yeah.” Andi slid the EpiPen into her pocket. “But I think I’ll be okay.”
“You going to need that?” Gwen gestured toward the EpiPen.
“I hope not.” Andi brushed past Gwen. “Let’s get going.”
Gwen felt a wave of concern wash over her. Andi had put herself in danger for her and for Pria without any hesitation, knowing the danger to herself. Gwen watched Andi toss the first-aid kit back into the truck, and Gwen wondered what could make someone so selfless be so distant.
Chapter Five
Gwen let the paramedic check her vitals. She hadn’t had any reaction to the bee stings, but Andi had insisted that everyone who was stung be checked out at the fire station. She watched Andi take care of Pria and Glenda and make sure everyone in her group returned from the mountain safe and sound. She noticed how Andi downplayed her own discomfort despite her obvious reaction to the sting. The medic had given Andi some kind of injection, and Gwen heard him tell Andi to take the Benadryl he was sending home with her. She couldn’t quite shake the discomfort growing in her chest when she thought of something happening to Andi.
When Andi walked out of the fire station, Gwen followed her.
“Hey, are you doing okay?”
Andi stopped and looked at her swollen hand. “It’s not as bad as it looks. I’m fine.”
“You did a great job today.”
Andi sighed. “Thanks, but I think you did most of the work. You took most of the hits too.” Andi stepped close to Gwen and cupped her chin in her hand. She tilted Gwen’s head to the side and studied the welts still visible on Gwen’s neck. “Looks like the swelling is going down.” She let her fingers brush lightly across Gwen’s face as she released her.
“Thanks for helping me out today. Those things really pack a punch,” Gwen said.
Andi smiled. “I’m just glad everyone’s okay.”
Gwen looked across the street toward the pavilion where the band was playing. The music echoed off the surrounding hills and buildings, amplifying the sound and filling the air with energy.
“Do you want to get a bite to eat?” Gwen asked, wanting to prolong the contact with Andi. The feel of Andi’s fingers on her skin was intoxicating and she was desperate for more.
Andi cupped her swollen hand in the crook of her arm. “I think I’ll head home and get some rest. That Benadryl will knock me out in no time and, I’d really like to be home when it kicks in.”
Gwen nodded, understanding Andi’s need to rest. She had the unsettled need to make sure Andi was okay. “Sure. I just thought you might need something in your stomach. You had a big day and the adrenaline had to wear you out.”
“Don’t you have plans with Pria?”
Andi’s tone was clipped and Gwen grinned despite the obvious stab. “No. She’s sweet, but not what I’m looking for.”
“Hmm. That’s not what it looked like earlier.”
Gwen took a deep breath and didn’t let herself be baited. “I’m sure there are a lot of things that aren’t exactly as they seem.” She realized that every time they got close, every time Andi let her guard down in the slightest, she immediately became defensive and started an argument.
Andi frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Gwen put her hands up, signaling a truce. “I’m just saying that I think we got off on the wrong foot.” God, this woman was stubborn. “Can’t we just be friends? Let’s just pretend I never asked you out. If I’d known it would cause this much trouble, I wouldn’t have.”
Andi stared at Gwen without responding. Gwen began to feel self-conscious. “What? Say something.”
“Why are you so nice to me? Why act like it matters?”
Gwen was stunned. “It matters to me,” she said softly, surprised by her own honesty.
Andi drew in a deep breath, letting it out as a sigh. “Gwen.”
“No. I’ve put a lot of thought into this, and I can’t put my finger on a single thing I could have done to make you dislike me so much.”
A flash of pain marred Andi’s expression and she closed her eyes. When she looked back at Gwen her eyes were glassy and mournful. “I don’t dislike you, Gwen. I’m just not very good with people.”
Andi’s voice was but a whisper, and Gwen had the urge to reach out and touch her, but instinctively Gwen knew if she did, Andi would retreat again.
“I watched you all day today. I saw how you took care of everyone, even when it put you at risk. I get it that you’re trying to push me away, I just don’t understand why,” Gwen said gently.
All the fight seemed to go out of Andi and her shoulders slumped. “You’re right,” Andi said. “I’
ve been trying to push you away since the first time we met. I don’t want to complicate your life. And my life is definitely complicated.”
Andi’s voice was sad. She was clearly getting upset and Gwen was following suit. The idea of Andi hurting grieved her. She would do anything to take that sadness away.
Andi continued to explain. “It isn’t anything you’ve done, Gwen. It’s me. I can’t risk letting anyone into my life right now. It’s the best for both of us. I’m sorry.”
“Okay,” Gwen sighed. She felt defeated. “I guess I’ve been a little raw myself. My last relationship, if that’s what you can call it, didn’t end so well. I’m still a little sensitive about the rejection thing. I took it personally when you pushed me away because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you.”
Andi stopped walking. She looked at Gwen, stunned by what she heard. She knew it had to be hard for Gwen to share that hurt with her, and it warmed Andi that Gwen had shown her that vulnerability.
“How can you think that? I can’t imagine anyone feeling that way about you. Whoever she was, she was a fool. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”
Gwen’s head was pounding now, and she wasn’t even sure where all this emotion was coming from. She felt as if years of disappointment and hurt were being channeled into this one moment, and she couldn’t stop the release once she started. Her eyes burned with unshed emotion. Andi’s sudden kindness confused her and made her want to wrap her arms around Andi and weep like a child. God, what was happening to her?
“I haven’t been fair. I really am sorry, Gwen.”
“Sure.” Gwen started to walk away but Andi grabbed her hand. When she looked down, Andi’s eyes were soft and gentle.
Andi squared her shoulders, drew in a deep breath and looked directly at Gwen. “How about Friday?
Gwen blinked, confused by the question. She wasn’t certain she had heard correctly. “How about what Friday?”
Andi shrugged. “I really don’t feel like hanging around here for dinner tonight, so how about dinner Friday night?”
Gwen hesitated. She hadn’t been prepared for this sudden change. Reluctantly she answered, “Okay, sure.”
Andi smiled. “Friday it is. What should I bring?”
Gwen was still trying to get her head around the sudden change in the conversation but was afraid to say much, for fear of jinxing herself. She stood there, madly trying to formulate a plan.
To her relief Andi rescued her. “How about you order the pizza and I bring the beer?”
Gwen tried to keep up. “Okay. Deal.”
Andi smiled. “Your house at six o’clock, okay?”
“That’s perfect.” Gwen relaxed a little and smiled.
Andi started walking again and Gwen walked with her. Andi hadn’t let go of her hand, and she liked the feel of Andi’s long slender fingers laced in hers. All too soon Andi stopped outside a modest Craftsman-style house with pale green siding and white trim.
“This is me,” Andi said, gesturing toward the house.
Gwen looked to the house and back to Andi. “Oh, yeah. Okay. Good night then. I’ll see you Friday.”
Andi gave Gwen’s hand a slight squeeze before letting go and walking away.
Gwen watched until Andi was safe inside. She wasn’t sure what just happened, but she was grateful that Andi was finally willing to give her a chance.
Once inside the house, Andi leaned her back against the cool wood, relieved to be safe at home where she could finally let go of the storm of emotions she had warred with all day. She was tired. She stood there replaying the events of the day—her fear when Gwen had been stung, the wounded look in Gwen’s eyes when she talked about her past, and the feel of Gwen’s hand holding hers on the walk home. She had been unfair to Gwen and had to admit she had been projecting her feelings. It had felt good to stop fighting and just enjoy spending time with Gwen without the angst that usually accompanied their conversations.
Gwen had surprised her with the way she had cared for Pria despite her own pain. The memory of seeing the stings riddling Gwen’s body made her shiver. Gwen hadn’t even flinched. She had been totally focused on helping someone she barely knew. That alone was enough to make Andi rethink her assessment of Gwen. And the fear that had twisted Andi’s stomach when she thought Gwen might be in danger had been overwhelming. Gwen’s raw emotion had been heartbreaking, and Andi hated that she had added to that pain.
It was time for her to grow up and stop punishing others for her past. She was friendly with lots of people in town. Why should Gwen be any different?
Andi pushed away from the door. She wanted a shower, but her need for sleep was more pressing. She stripped off her clothes as she went through the house. When she reached her bed she was completely naked. She tossed back the covers and slid between the cool sheets, letting the weight of the covers comfort her.
The medication made it difficult for her to think. She prayed that tonight, for once, she wouldn’t dream of the past, or the fear. She just wanted to shut off the world and sleep. Her last thought as she closed her eyes and drifted off was of Gwen holding her hand.
*
A clear blue sky offered not a single cloud to block the punishing rays of the sun. The dull thud of the mattock marked the rhythm of the strokes assaulting the ground around the old tree stump. Andi’s arms ached as they absorbed the vibrations from every strike into the hard earth. Sweat trickled down her neck in rivulets, and her shirt stuck to her wet back. The heat of the bright sun beat down on her with punishing intensity, scorching her skin. Her mouth was parched and her lips felt dry and rough. But not even the heat or the strain of her labor could soothe her today. She had come out to work off her anxiety and had found her thoughts drawn into the past. It was not a place she liked to visit. Nothing good lived in her memories. But something about Gwen had stirred her and she knew that was a bad sign. She could no longer deny liking Gwen. What was there not to like? She’d settled it. She would try to be friends but there would be nothing else. There was no way she was going to go there. Never again.
“Whose dog shit in your daisies today?” The familiar weathered voice barked, startling her.
She’d been so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t heard Mrs. Peterson approach. Andi stopped, only now assessing the damage she had managed to inflict on the old stump. She looked around. “What do you mean?”
Mrs. Peterson stood on the sidewalk, her hands perched petulantly on her hips. “I mean that you’ve been out here whaling on that old stump for the past two hours like you’re trying to pay it back for some terrible crime. Clearly, something’s bothering you.”
Andi opened and then closed her mouth several times, feeling very much like a fish trying to breathe out of water. Exasperated, she pulled off her gloves and tossed them at her feet before sitting roughly on the ground.
Mrs. Peterson studied her thoughtfully. “Looks like you’re trying to work something out of your system. Do you need anything, dear?”
Andi looked up into the old gray eyes, surprised by the sudden gentleness she heard in the usually rough voice. For the first time, Andi wanted to explain, to finally tell someone her story. But the moment passed quickly and she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.
“Thank you, but no. I’m fine.” Andi fought back the swell of emotion that gathered into a lump in her throat. She drew up the neck of her T-shirt and wiped at her face, using the sweat as a cover for her emotional lapse as she tried to pull herself back together. “Thank you for checking up on me.”
Mrs. Peterson peered at her as if she wasn’t fooled by Andi’s attempts to hide her feelings. But after a moment she straightened her posture, and the gentleness was suddenly gone.
“Well then, you best take a bit of a rest and get a drink before you have heatstroke.”
Andi smiled. “You’re right. Good thing I have you looking after me, or heaven knows what trouble I might get myself into.” Andi was relieved the old woman hadn’t pried any further.
She needed to keep her barriers in place, and it wouldn’t do any good to bring up the past now.
The corner of Mrs. Peterson’s mouth twitched into a faint grin. She squinted at Andi and pointed a twisted arthritic finger at her. “If you ask me, you could do with a little trouble, might even be fun.”
Andi gaped at the old woman who had already turned and was making her way back across the street, mumbling something that Andi couldn’t quite hear. She wondered what Mrs. Peterson had meant. She shook her head, confused by the unusual encounter.
Andi looked again at the stump and decided she had battled enough memories for one day. She gathered her tools and cleaned up her mess and made a retreat to the backyard. She stripped off her T-shirt and shoes and dove into the pool. The water was cool and refreshing as she felt it wash away all the heat, sweat, dust, and worry that had accumulated on her like a heavy blanket that threatened to suffocate her.
After the brief swim, she made her way to the small refrigerator at the edge of her covered porch. She opened a beer and fell into her favorite lounge chair. Her shoulders eased and she let out a long breath. Mrs. Peterson’s words played over in her mind. You could do with a little trouble, might even be fun. Andi’s thoughts drifted to Gwen. She remembered the gentleness of Gwen’s fingers in her hand. She thought of the openness she had seen in Gwen’s eyes when she looked at her. She thought of the tall, lean body standing over her, caring for her with a tenderness Andi had longed for her whole life.
The warmth that began to build in her middle and spread through her skin had nothing to do with the sun. Andi imagined what it would be like to have Gwen’s gentle fingers caressing her, to have the length of her body pressed against her. She took a long draft from her beer and sighed. “This is definitely trouble.”
Chapter Six
Gwen swept up the last of the debris from the latest construction. She had managed to refinish the kitchen cabinets and had installed a subfloor but wasn’t quite ready to begin the tile job. She wasn’t looking forward to laying out the two-foot rectangular tiles over the 200 square feet of kitchen floor. The granite countertops were being installed in three days, and the appliances were scheduled to arrive the day after that. She sighed at the amount of work she needed to do before then. But it wasn’t something she couldn’t manage.
No Boundaries Page 5