The water was warm and the air was cool, and Gwen’s skin broke into goose bumps as she waded into the water to get close to a family of ducks playing along the dock, looking for handouts.
“Hey, daydreamer, do you plan on getting in that boat sometime today?”
Gwen pulled her attention from the ducks back to Andi. Her mouth fell open slightly at the sight of Andi in her boat. Long, lean legs extended, their toned muscles tanned by the sun. Her bare arms rippled with her movements as she worked the paddle. A pale blue-and-white tie-dyed scarf covered her head, pulling her hair back from her face. Her PFD covered her chest but left the taut muscles of her stomach exposed.
Gwen was stunned by the picture of Andi, relaxed and beautiful, surrounded by water, rocks, and mountains. The sun seemed to sparkle in her eyes like the glowing embers of a slow-burning fire. Warmth spread through Gwen’s body with a dizzying effect that made her feel intoxicated.
She took a step to climb into her boat and lost her footing. She stumbled, grasping desperately for her boat to catch herself, but fell back into the water as the boat slipped from her fingers. She came to the surface of the water sputtering, still trying to gain her balance. Water dripped from her soaking hair down her face. She finally stopped fighting and allowed herself to float freely in the water as she brushed strands of wet hair back from her face.
The sound of laughter cut through her confusion, and she opened her eyes to see Andi holding her boat, covering her mouth with her free hand, trying not to laugh.
Gwen smiled, and then broke into laughter herself.
“Okay. Not my most graceful moment.”
“Don’t worry. Consider yourself christened,” Andi said. “Now if you’re finished with your swim, would you like to try the kayak?”
“Very funny,” Gwen grumbled and skimmed the palm of her hand across the surface of the lake, spraying Andi with cool drops of water.
Andi squealed as the shower hit her. But before Gwen could get the upper hand, Andi angled her paddle and gave the water a swipe, effectively silencing Gwen’s laughter with a much more significant wave.
“Okay, okay. You win,” Gwen called, her hands held in the air in surrender. She made her way unsteadily to her kayak. Andi held the craft steady as Gwen climbed inside. Her reassuring smile warmed Gwen and she found herself staring—Andi was beautiful, but when she smiled it was as if a bank of clouds had parted, letting the sun shine through, lighting Andi’s eyes with electrifying radiance. Andi wasn’t like anyone Gwen had ever known, and in that moment she felt overwhelmingly grateful for the changes in her life that had led her to this quiet little town.
What?” Andi asked, interrupting Gwen’s reverie.
Gwen grinned and shrugged as she shifted in her boat. “Just really glad to be here.”
Andi quirked an eyebrow at Gwen. “Okay then, let’s see what else we can get into.”
Andi set a slow pace at first. She gave Gwen pointers on how to hold the paddle, techniques for her stroke, and how to use her core muscles so her arms didn’t tire too easily. Gwen was a quick study.
Andi looked at Gwen suspiciously. “Hey, are you sure you haven’t done this before?”
“Well, I didn’t exactly say I hadn’t done it before,” Gwen admitted.
“Okay, smarty-pants, let’s see what you’ve got. I’ll race you to that fallen tree on the other side of the cove.”
Before Gwen could answer, Andi surged forward.
“Hey, no fair,” Gwen called out, then gripped the paddle and made a swift stroke, accepting the challenge. She leaned forward, putting more strength into her stoke. The boat surged forward with each pass of the paddle through the water’s surface, gliding across the water as if skating across ice. She was close enough that she could see the muscles in Andi’s shoulders ripple with each movement of her arms alternately lifting the paddle from the water and pulling through her stroke. Despite her efforts, Gwen couldn’t catch Andi, but as she watched the movements of Andi’s body, she wasn’t disappointed.
Andi’s boat glided beneath the fallen tree and emerged on the other side, just as Gwen coasted up to her. Gwen was having a good time and loved this playful side of Andi.
“About time you showed up, slowpoke.”
Gwen laughed. “You cheated.”
Andi shrugged. “Whatever you need to tell yourself,” she teased, exhilarated by the challenge and enamored with the weightlessness of her heart. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so happy. Andi marveled at the joy permeating her usually impermeable defenses.
The morning passed quickly, and much too soon the sound of motor boats intruded upon their solitude.
“Come on,” Andi said, “the traffic is starting to pick up. Let go somewhere a little less hectic.”
Gwen followed Andi to a secluded cove that the motor boats couldn’t enter due to the narrow, shallow passage. Andi put up her hand, signaling to Gwen to stop. When Gwen’s boat glided up to hers, Andi reached out and grasped the shell. With her paddle nestled in her lap, she lifted her other hand and pointed to an area just inside the foliage.
Gwen gasped, and Andi realized she’d spotted the small fawn. Andi watched Gwen’s face as her eyes widened as the young deer made its way to the water’s edge. Gwen glanced at Andi, the awe at what they were seeing plain in her face, and caught Andi watching her. Gwen jerked her attention back to the deer but gasped and grabbed Andi’s hand when the fawn waded into the water and swam across to the other side. Andi had never seen anything so pure, so innocent, and so wonderful as Gwen’s expression in that moment.
“That was so beautiful,” Gwen whispered.
“Yes, beautiful,” Andi said reverently.
They beached the kayaks on a sandy bank and watched the sun glisten across the water. Andi pulled two water bottles out of the dry pack. She had frozen the water the night before, and it was still cold. She handed a bottle to Gwen, who quickly twisted the cap free and lifted the bottle to her lips, taking a long drink.
Gwen couldn’t draw her eyes way from Andi’s lips as the translucent liquid spilled into her mouth. She remembered how soft Andi’s lips were, and she stifled the urge to reach out and brush a drop of water from the corner of Andi’s mouth. She felt something inside her shift, lifting another barrier in her heart, and she opened a little more to Andi. She tried to shake the sensation by busying herself with her own water bottle, but she could feel an invisible link growing between them. She tried to temper her feelings, reminding herself how easily she could get hurt if Andi sent her away again. But it was well past the time for caution. She wanted Andi. She wanted her in her life. She wanted to love her.
When she was with Andi, the sun seemed brighter and the air fresher than she had remembered, and she felt changed as a result. Her skin tingled with the warmth of the sun as a breeze brushed across her body making her shiver. Maybe the reason she had never mattered to anyone was because she was looking in the wrong places. More than anything, she wanted to be someone who deserved Andi.
Gwen reached out and took Andi’s hand.
“Thank you for bringing me here.”
Andi’s smile was earnest and she glanced away.
“I was really nervous about asking you to come with me. I’ve never brought anyone out on the lake before.”
“Really, why not?”
Andi looked thoughtful as she gazed out over the water.
“This has always been mine. Something that takes me away from everything that goes on in the world. Out here I’m free.”
Gwen waited, feeling there was more that Andi hadn’t said. She watched Andi’s gaze roam from one point to another, and she wished she could read her thoughts. She thought she understood what it had meant for Andi to bring her here, and her heart filled to bursting as she grew more and more enamored by the beauty and complexity of her.
After a few moments of silence, Andi dropped her head and laughed softly. She squeezed Gwen’s hand and glanced up at her. “Besides,
I never had anyone I wanted to ask,” she said in a quiet voice.
Gwen smiled. “That’s hard to believe. I imagine there are lots of women who would love to be here with you.”
Andi’s eyes dulled and grew distant. “No. Not for a very long time.”
Gwen could hear the hurt in Andi’s voice and saw the flicker of pain that stole the smile from her lips. Gwen felt the pain, dull in her chest, as if it were her own when she saw Andi’s smile fade as if stolen by a memory. She wanted nothing more than to bring that smile back. Her heart longed for it.
She moved closer and placed her arm around Andi’s waist, pulling her next to her.
“There is no where I would rather be at this moment than here with you.”
Andi turned her face to Gwen, the corner of her mouth curving into a faint smile. “Me too,” she said, pressing her lips to Gwen’s, a gentle brush of soft skin.
Gwen smiled as Andi pulled away. She wanted to pull Andi into her and kiss her back, but she was frozen in place, the sound of her racing heart pulsing in her ears. Instead, Gwen leaned closer, relishing the soft feel of Andi’s skin against her shoulder as she turned her gaze out over the water.
The day was really beginning to heat up, and Gwen reached up and brushed a bead of sweat from Andi’s temple.
Andi smiled at Gwen. “I’m ready for a swim,” she said as she stood and stripped off her PFD, revealing a lean torso with a gentle curve of muscle that ran along her side, framing her flat stomach. Gwen was breathless at the sight of Andi’s body. She stared wordlessly, watching Andi walk into the water until only her head bobbed above the surface. Gwen’s stomach tensed and her insides tingled when Andi leaned back and allowed the water to rush across her head, pulling her bandanna from her hair. Andi captured the wayward fabric in her hand and brushed the water from her face.
Gwen swept her hand across her mouth, her fingers over her lips, wanting the touch to be Andi’s. She watched Andi swim for a long time. It was like watching an angel. She had to make herself sit still so she wouldn’t follow Andi into the water. She wanted to feel Andi’s slick wet skin glide against her own. She wanted to run her fingers through Andi’s hair and kiss the tender exposed skin of her neck.
“You should come in—the water is wonderful,” Andi called out, grinning.
Gwen shuddered, trying to control the urge to go to Andi. Things were going so well. She didn’t want to risk doing anything that might push Andi away again.
“I took my swim this morning, remember?” She hoped Andi couldn’t hear the desire that she knew was thick in her voice.
“I remember,” Andi said with a chuckle. “But the water is much more inviting now that the sun is fully up.”
Gwen hesitated, warring with herself. But Andi had made the invitation, and that was all Gwen needed to rationalize her decision. She stood up and pulled her shirt over her head. She wasn’t about to pass up an invitation to be close to Andi, although she was sure what she was thinking was not what Andi had in mind.
Gwen stretched out her arms in front of her as she walked into the water and pushed herself under in a swift lunge. “This feels wonderful,” she said as her head broke the surface only a few feet away from Andi. “How do you get up and go to work every day when you could be doing this?”
A broad smile broke across Andi’s face and she laughed. “I schedule my days so I can get out here several times a week if I want. It’s one of the perks of being self-employed.”
“No kidding. This is heaven.” Gwen swam a little closer, testing Andi’s limits, wanting to see if Andi would move away. She smiled when Andi didn’t move. Maybe things with Andi could be different. She didn’t want to think that Andi was like all the other women who had seen her as a temporary amusement. And she wanted there to be more between them. She decided to be content with letting things reveal themselves slowly, and she tilted her head back and allowed her body to float to the surface. She closed her eyes and drank in the warmth of the sun on her face and the gentle lap of the water against her skin.
Andi watched Gwen float in the water, mesmerized by the peacefulness she felt. She wondered about her first impression of Gwen as a pushy overconfident player. That image seemed wildly incongruent with the picture of the woman in front of her now. She was beginning to realize there was much more to Gwen Palmer. She had shown kindness and gentleness with a hint of the protectiveness that Andi craved. She sighed deeply and lifted her feet to join Gwen in her worship of the sun.
A warm pleasing feeling filled Andi as she allowed her hand to drift until her fingers brushed Gwen’s hand. She was glad she had decided to ask Gwen to come to the lake with her. She was happy to have a new memory of her favorite place to keep with her forever. She knew she wasn’t keeping her promise to put distance between herself and Gwen, but the more she was around Gwen, the more she wanted to believe she could have a different life, that she was safe and Gwen was safe and maybe, just maybe, she could be happy. A warning pricked at the back of her mind telling her that wasn’t possible, but she pushed it away. She wanted to pretend things were different. Just for one day, she wanted to be happy.
She felt Gwen’s hand slide into hers and smiled when their fingers laced together. Andi took a deep soothing breath. She had this one perfect day and she was very happy.
Chapter Fourteen
The day had been remarkable so far, and Andi couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so…normal. For the past four years she had believed her chance at happiness had passed. Meeting Gwen had opened a world of possibilities that she prayed were real but dared not hope for.
Andi put on some music and began to do the prep work for dinner. She embraced the music, letting her body sway to the rhythm until she was dancing around the kitchen, singing along with the lyrics. She hadn’t danced in years, but she was having the best day she could remember and dancing felt good. She jumped at the sound of the knock at the door. She turned to see Gwen standing at the door grinning, and she felt her cheeks grow hot with embarrassment.
“How long have you been standing out here?” she said as she opened the door.
“Not very long. Nice song, I like your voice.”
Andi buried her face in her hands. “Oh God, you heard me?”
“Just a little,” Gwen said. “The dance was cute too.”
Andi swatted Gwen lightly on the arm. “Now you’re just being mean. I lost track of time and wasn’t expecting you so soon. You weren’t supposed to see or hear any of that.”
“Sorry, but you’re busted. Don’t stop on my account. I was enjoying the show.”
Andi sighed, resigning her dignity. There was nothing she could do about it now. That’s what she got for making fun of Gwen earlier.
“Come on in and have a seat. What would you like to drink?”
Gwen held up the bottle of wine she had brought along. “I brought this. I couldn’t just show up empty-handed. But I’ll have a beer if you have any.”
Andi retrieved the beer for Gwen, opening one for herself. She watched the way Gwen settled into her chair, an air of belonging in the way she draped herself, legs outstretched and an arm casually thrown over the back of the chair. Andi found she liked the gesture and was happy Gwen was so relaxed with her. What pleased her even more was how comfortable she was with Gwen. Gwen just seemed to fit into her life.
They grilled steaks and portobello mushrooms paired with a light salad. Night fell all too quickly—time melted away when she was with Gwen. She knew it wouldn’t be long now before Gwen would go, and she would be left alone again in her silent home with her silent thoughts. She wasn’t ready for the day to end. She had been so lonely before meeting Gwen, and she was tired of that life. Maybe she couldn’t have forever, but she had right now. The thought was exhilarating.
She felt Gwen’s hand slide across her arm with a smooth caress that was so faint it could have been a breeze. The touch drew her out of her thoughts, and when she looked up, she met Gwen’s inquisitive gaze
.
“What were you thinking just now?”
Andi looked at her, blinking away her loneliness. “Nothing really, just how quickly the day has gone by. I’ve had a really good day and I hate to see it end.”
Gwen looked at her watch. “Are you tired? Should I go?”
The suggestion startled Andi, and she was surprised by her reaction. She was afraid that if she let Gwen go, the spell would be broken and the magic that had surrounded this one perfect day would vanish. “No, please, just the opposite. I’ve enjoyed being with you so much today I felt a little sad when I thought of you leaving. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I’m having a good time with you too.”
Andi met Gwen’s eyes, telegraphing her gratitude. She smiled warmly at Gwen and placed her hand on her shoulder and let her fingers glide down the length of her arm.
“How long did you say you’ve lived here?” Gwen asked curiously.
“Oh, I guess it’s coming up on three years now.”
“Have you always lived here alone?”
Andi knew what Gwen was asking. She wanted to know more about her, and Andi wondered how much she should share. The truth would mean the end of this fairy tale, and she wasn’t quite ready for that.
“Yes, it’s always just been me.”
“No girlfriends?”
Andi was thoughtful for a moment before answering. “No, I haven’t dated anyone since moving here.” The familiar hollowness had begun to fill her chest as she tried to answer Gwen’s questions. There was a very good reason why she didn’t date and here she was, breaking her own rules. She could continue to lie to herself that what they were doing wasn’t dating, but her heart knew she already cared too much for Gwen to just be friends.
“Does it bother you that I’m asking you about your personal life?”
Andi looked away, suddenly focused on the flickering candle flame. “I guess it does. It isn’t something I’m used to talking about.”
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