by Sophia Renny
She wasn’t upset that they were getting married. That had already been a given. But the fact that Willa was pregnant, that she was going to have Joe’s baby… A year from now, that might have been Julia. She might have been the one expecting a child. That had been the plan. She and Joe had talked about starting a family right away. She dreamed of having children of her own.
Time was running out. The prospects of finding a good and decent man to marry and start a family with within the next year or two were slim. She was thirty-three years old. This thing, this infatuation—if that’s what it was—with Tony wasn’t going to lead anywhere. There wasn’t any point in even imagining the possibility of starting something with him. He already had his future wife in his sights.
There was no one. She was all alone.
“Julia, what are you doing in here?”
Tony stood in the doorway, dark and handsome in a charcoal suit and tie. He took one look at her face and quickly shut the door behind him. She heard the snick of the door lock.
She took several gulping breaths, striving to stay cool and collected. It was no use. All her emotions rose to the surface. To her complete mortification, she burst into tears. They weren’t pretty tears. They were loud and ugly.
In two strides Tony was at her side. He lifted her into his arms and then sat down in Audrey’s executive chair, holding Julia on his lap. He curved one arm around her waist, the other around her shoulders. He cupped her head with his big hand and cradled her against his firm chest.
“What is it? Is it Joe? Did he say something to hurt you?”
She shook her head, her sobs escalating.
“What is it, honey? Don’t cry. You know I don’t like to see you cry.” He smoothed his hand over her hair.
“They… They’re having a b-baby!”
“What? Who?”
“J-Joe and Willa. She’s h-having his baby.”
“Wow. That’s great! I’m going to be an uncle.”
“And they’re getting m-married. Next month.”
He stiffened. “And that upsets you?”
“No.” She shook her head in swift denial. “No. I’m over him. I’m m-moving on. I told them that.”
His body relaxed. “Then why are you so upset?”
“Because I want that,” she wailed. “I want a man who will l-look at me the way Joe looks at her. And I want to have a baby.”
“Who says you won’t?”
“I’m old!” The word came out in three wailing syllables.
Tony gave a scoffing laugh. “You’re not old.”
“I’m thirty-three! I only have a few years left to start a family. And I don’t even have a b-boyfriend!”
“True.”
She fisted one hand in his suit jacket. “Do you know how long it takes to find a decent boyfriend, to decide whether or not he’s compatible? If he’s marriage material? It could take years! I don’t have time for all that.”
“I don’t know about that,” he said reasonably. What if you fall in love with a guy at first sight? He could be right here in this building tonight. You could marry him next week if you wanted to.”
“Yeah, right. Love at first sight only happens in books and movies.”
“It happened with Joe and Willa.”
She gave a hiccupping sob. “Don’t be cruel.”
He was quiet for a few minutes as he rubbed her back in soothing circles. Julia’s tears gradually diminished. Her body stopped shaking. She relaxed against him. She flattened her hand against his chest, suddenly very aware of his furnace-like heat beneath his shirt, very conscious of his strength and masculinity.
He leaned forward in the chair and yanked some tissues from the box on Audrey’s desk. He wiped Julia’s cheeks and nose. After tossing the damp tissues in the wastebasket, he placed his warm, calloused palm against her cheek, brushed his thumb gently along her cheekbone. “Tell me, Julia,” he asked eventually, his chest rumbling beneath her ear. “What kind of man is your ideal? Maybe I can find him for you.”
“He has to be good.”
“Good? You mean good in bed?” His voice was teasing.
She poked him in the ribs. “Don’t be an ass. I mean good. He has to be a man of integrity and honor.”
“Ah. Those are excellent qualities. But you should still want a guy who’s also good in bed. What else?”
“He has to be smart.”
“True. You don’t want to marry an idiot.”
She thought some more. “And vulnerable. I like a man who’s strong but isn’t afraid to show his softer side. A man who can admit he’s not always right.”
“Well, that pretty much eliminates all the guys on my construction crew.”
She gave a soft huff of laughter. “He needs to want a family.”
“A big family, right?”
“Yes. He’ll need to be a good father and provider.”
“You haven’t mentioned looks. What does your ideal man look like? Is he tall, dark and handsome?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. If he fits all the criteria, and the chemistry is there, he could be cross-eyed and bald for all I care.”
Tony chuckled. “Aha. I know just the man for you then.”
“Sure you do.”
“I do. I can introduce you to him tomorrow if you want. He’s an old college friend of mine.”
She played with a button on his white dress shirt. “So…he’s your age.”
“You’re not open to marrying a younger man?”
She had never considered it Before Tony. “It depends on how young he is. And how mature.”
“What’s the biggest age difference you’d accept?”
“I don’t know. Seven years, maybe?”
“Hmm. On second thought, my friend is probably too immature for you. He spends most of his weekends watching football.”
“Ugh. No thanks.”
As they talked, they snuggled closer and closer together. His fingers gently squeezed her hip, the fingers of his other hand sifted slowly through her hair. She had one hand pressed flat against his chest; the other had gradually slid upwards until it was curved around his neck. Her fingers played with the soft hair at his nape.
“Julia.”
“Hmm?”
“I’m a man of honor and integrity. I like to think so anyway.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m pretty smart, too.”
“Yes.”
“And I can be vulnerable. You’ve certainly witnessed that.”
Her pulse raced.
“I’d like a big family, too,” he continued. “I know I’ll be a good father.”
“Yes. She’d be a fool not to marry you. You do have all the essential qualities most women find appealing.”
“She?”
“That girl you’ve been talking about. The one you bought that house for.”
He brought his hands to her face. His touch compelled her to look up at him. His luminous eyes pierced her heart. “Julia. That girl I’ve been talking about? Baby, it’s you.”
And he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her.
The room started to spin. Julia slammed her eyes shut. She gasped against his mouth, in both shock and excitement, and the kiss went from soft and tender to hard and hungry in a heartbeat. Through the clamor thundering inside of her head she heard Tony groan, the sound emanating from deep in his chest as he brought her chest flush against his. He lightly bit her lower lip before sliding his tongue between her parted lips and entwining it with hers in an erotic dance. One hand grasped the nape of her neck, fingers threading into her hair as he angled her head to allow his tongue to plunge deeper into her mouth. His kiss was sweet and rough and hot. His lips were pliant and smooth.
He skimmed his other hand down her arm, his thumb grazing the side of her breast. She quivered and his touch became bolder. He cupped her breast and squeezed. His thumb circled her taut nipple. She pushed into his questing hand and made eager sounds in her throat. She writhed in his la
p. She felt the rigid length of his arousal beneath her bottom. She pressed down on it.
He groaned again. He tore his mouth from hers, catching his breath. He kissed her cheek, dragged his mouth up to her ear. He nibbled on her earlobe. “Julia. Julia. You taste so good. Just like I’ve always imagined.”
She suddenly had a visual of him at thirteen, jerking off in his bed while he thought of her. She froze for a second and then pulled away from his kisses. “Oh, my God. What are we doing?”
His face was ruddy, his skin taut across his cheekbones. His chest rose and fell rapidly with his panting breaths. “What? What’s the problem?”
“You’re Tony!”
His eyebrows lowered. “And?”
“And I used to babysit you!” she wailed. “And I’ve slept with your brother!”
His glower grew darker. “Both facts that I have managed to push out of my mind completely.”
“I haven’t.” She shoved against his chest, trying to break free from his firm hold. He wouldn’t let her.
“Don’t tell me you don’t feel this attraction between us,” he said, his voice gruff.
She swallowed, averting her eyes from his piercing gaze. “I do. That doesn’t mean it’s right.”
He cupped her jaw, bringing her eyes back to his. “Why not? You’re single. I’m single. You know me better than anyone else. And I know you.”
“I’m in a vulnerable place,” she said, her tone pleading. “I miss being held and kissed by a man. That’s all this is.”
His fingers pressed into her jaw. “Bullshit.”
She smoothed a hand down his chest in a placating gesture. “Don’t you see? The worst thing I could do is allow this to happen. I’d just be using you to feel desirable again. That’s not fair to you.”
He didn’t relax his grip. “I think you’re just lying to yourself. You’re afraid.”
“Yes,” she admitted. “I am. There’ve been so many changes in my life in the last six months. I don’t want us to change. I like having you as my friend.”
“And I’ll keep being your friend, Julia. But I want more. I want you. Do you feel how much I want you?” He ground his hips against her bottom.
“Oh, my God.”
He captured her mouth with his again. Her resistance was futile. She collapsed against him, eagerly lifting her face to his for more.
God, he was a good kisser. He took total control. There was no hesitation in his touch, no concessions for her softer femininity. He sucked her tongue into his mouth, tangling his tongue with hers in slick, wet duel as his hands played with her breasts. She felt a tugging on her blouse as he swiftly undid the buttons. Then he was unfastening her bra. He took possession of her naked, swollen breasts, cupping, squeezing. He took a nipple between thumb and finger and pinched gently.
She moaned.
He released her mouth. His tongue licked hungrily down her neck. She arched her back, using the armrest for support as she offered her breasts to his seeking mouth. Her body was melting. Melting. She felt delicious quivers of delight shooting up and down her spine.
What was happening to her? She’d never felt this way before. So hot. So possessed.
“Sweet. So sweet,” Tony whispered against her skin. He drew a nipple into his mouth, scraped and soothed with his tongue.
She felt a fierce clenching between her legs. She squirmed in his lap, lifting her hips in a silent plea.
His hand cupped her there through her skirt. His probing fingers and thumb found her pleasure spots with ease. He pressed down. “Do you see how much you want me, Julia?” His dark, sultry voice poured over her. “Tell me now that you don’t want this.”
Her blood was pounding wildly in her ears. “I do. I do want it.” God, she sounded drugged, delirious; she almost didn’t recognize her own voice. Shock rippled through her. She opened her eyes, her blurry vision gradually clearing as she stared at his passion-dark face. She battled with desire and rational thought. This was happening too fast. She was losing all control. She wasn’t used to that.
She grabbed his wrist, forcing him to hold still. “Stop.”
He froze. “Why? Why are you fighting this?”
“This is just sex!”
His breath hissed between his teeth. “It’s more than that.”
“Stop touching me.”
“I can’t.”
She surged upright and shoved herself away from him. “Stop it, Tony. I’m serious.”
He let her go.
She slid off his lap and stood on shaky legs. Her fingers fumbled as she set her bra and blouse to rights. She avoided his gaze.
“Talk to me, Julia.”
She took a bracing breath. “You’re moving too fast. This is all happening too fast.”
“What’s the point in taking it slow?” he reasoned, his voice low, almost calm. He captured her hand, persuading her to look at him. His eyes gleamed with that heart-tugging inner light that only he seemed to possess. “The truth is, I’m in love with you. I love you and I’m in love with you. Do you get that? I think I always have been.”
While her heart sang at his confession, her thoughts remained clouded. “That’s impossible.”
His grip on her hand tightened. “It’s true. I was only just beginning to realize how I really felt about you around the same time you and Joe broke up.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Would you have told me this if Joe and I were still engaged?”
“Yes.” His tone was firm, assured. “Yes, I would have. You probably think that’s an easy thing for me to say in hindsight. But it’s true.”
“I wouldn’t have left him.”
His gaze narrowed with irritation. “That’s immaterial. He already had doubts about the engagement before he met Willa. He told me that the day he broke up with you.”
Joe had told her the same thing. But it still hurt to hear the words again. “If you really love me, why did you toy with me that way? Why did you pretend that you were in love with someone else?”
He grazed his calloused thumb against her palm. “Because I wanted to get you riled. I needed to know that the passionate girl I used to argue with was still there. You were jealous. Doesn’t that tell you that you’re in love with me?”
“I’m not in love with you.” Her words didn’t sound as adamant as she would’ve liked.
His features shuttered. “You can look me in the eye and say that?”
She tugged at his grip. “Stop badgering me. Just stop it. You’re not being fair. You just dropped a bomb on me, and you expect me to fall into your arms, be all lovey-dovey and confess my undying devotion for you? Yes, I’m attracted to you. Yes, I’d like to have sex with you. But I don’t know if it’s anything more than that. I don’t know if there’s something deeper. I don’t know if I’m just feeling needy and insecure. You need to give me space, Tony. I need time to process this.”
His grip tightened further. “How much time?”
“I don’t know!” She barely managed to not stomp her feet in a childish display of frustration. She tugged again.
This time, he let her go. He gave a heavy sigh. “Okay. All right. Maybe I am being a selfish jerk. I wasn’t planning on telling you these things tonight anyway. I can give you the time and space you’re asking for.”
“Thank you.” Her tone was prim.
He rose to his feet. His eyes burned into hers. “But don’t make me wait too long, Julia.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll come after you.” He reached out and brushed his knuckles against her cheek. “You’re mine.”
She swayed helplessly into his touch.
His deep groan was swift and urgent. He latched onto her arms and brought her against him. His mouth melded with hers. He kissed her long and deep.
They were both gasping for breath when he finally released her several minutes later. “Go,” he said, sounding tortured. “Just go. Before I break my promise.”
She went.
Cha
pter Ten
After she’d closed the door behind her, he collapsed into the desk chair, legs sprawled. He scrubbed his hands down his face before clasping them behind his head and staring blindly at the ceiling. His pulse was speeding like a runaway train; his arousal was an excruciating ache in his groin.
Had he pushed too hard? Moved too fast?
Probably.
Holding her on his lap had been his undoing. She’d been all cuddled up against him, so soft and feminine. She had fit against him perfectly. Her sweet breath had whispered against his neck and become increasingly hot and panting as his touches had grown bolder.
Oh, she had wanted him all right.
She was worried that it was just sexual attraction. How could she not understand that it was so much more than that?
He’d dropped the L word way too soon. He felt frustration and disappointment clutch at his heart. She hadn’t reacted to his declaration the way he’d imagined she would. She hadn’t told him that she loved him, too.
That hurt.
His erection eventually subsided. He stood up, straightened his tie, and smoothed a hand over his hair. He took a steadying breath before opening the door and returning to the party.
He kept in the background, lurking behind one of the curtain panels as he watched Julia work the room. She was wearing a flowing white blouse tucked inside a straight black skirt that ended a few inches above her knees. Black heels accentuated her sleek legs.
She must’ve used the restroom after she’d left him. Her long blond hair was pulled back in a slick ponytail. A fresh coat of pretty pink lipstick colored her generous mouth.
Her white teeth gleamed as she spoke with a group of guests; her amber eyes sparkled as she chatted with her staff. Her hands made graceful gestures as she gave instructions to the caterers.
She was good at her job. She carried herself with such grace and confidence. He wondered why she couldn’t be as confident about acknowledging her real feelings for him.
It hadn’t been easy for him to grant her the time she’d requested. The ball was in her court now. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like not knowing what was going on inside her head. He didn’t like waiting.