Brit watched him with knowing eyes. Army’s chest hurt. Losing Brit hurt bad enough without this added punishment. “You should’ve said something.”
With a shrug, Army glanced away. “Like what? My mom stole my identity shortly before she did all the heroin and ended up dead, leaving me the biggest mess imaginable? Exactly when would I have sneaked that in?”
The pity in Brit’s expression was worse than a hot iron poker through the eye. Brit sat on the arm of the couch. “I have a proposition for you.”
Army puffed out his cheeks and rubbed the back of his neck. Would this day ever end? “I’m listening.”
“I didn’t show up today on a whim. Apparently, you weren’t the only bridge I burned during my lapse last week.”
An ugly snort escaped Army. “Your lapse,” he said, repeating Brit’s words.
“I can be an ass.”
“You don’t say,” Army said, incapable of not being a dick about it.
“I need a place to stay while the bad press dies down,” Brit said, powering through in spite of Army’s attitude.
Army grabbed his forgotten lunch from the fridge. If only he hadn’t left it behind this morning, he might’ve missed Brit and this awful conversation. “Good luck with that.”
Brit didn’t give up. “No one knows about us.”
“Big surprise,” Army said, taking a bite of his sandwich. He still had to eat his lunch if he hoped to survive the day.
“I’d hoped you’d let me stay here until someone else fucks up and takes my spot in the news.”
Army swallowed his bite before he choked. Still, he couldn’t avoid a coughing fit. He turned up a bottle of water before he died. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Army said, wiping his mouth. “I’ve never met anyone with more nerve.”
“I’ll pay you twenty-five-thousand dollars to let me crash here and to keep quiet about me being here.”
Brit was serious. It was written in the way he held his head high. Army couldn’t look away. “I don’t want your money.” Because, fuck him. Brit thought he could waltz in here and buy Army because he had financial problems.
“You need help,” Brit argued.
That was it. “Get out.”
Brit didn’t budge. “It’s partially my fault,” Brit said, digging deeper. “I’ve expected you to meet me at conventions all over the place. It wasn’t fair, and you didn’t deserve to have me plague your life.”
“Where will you go if I stand by my earlier no?” He fucking hated that he cared.
“I don’t know.” The sincerity in Brit’s tone had Army ready to curse a blue streak.
He checked his watch. If he left right this second, he’d still be at least five minutes late getting back to work. He glanced around, seeking answers he didn’t have. Giving in, he snagged his spare key from where it hung on the wall. Army passed it Brit’s way. “You can stay, for now. I have to get back to work. You can sleep on the couch.” He held Brit’s gaze, needing the man to know how serious he was. “Three things,” he said, holding up three fingers and ticking them off as he went. “Don’t steal my stuff. It’s not worth anything, but it’s all I have. Don’t fucking touch me because we are so over it’s ridiculous. And, I don’t want your money.”
Brit nodded, but he didn’t do a good job of hiding his hurt. “I’m sorry for whatever I said to drive you away.”
“You don’t remember?” Army didn’t know which was worse: Brit recalling every hateful word or the man not even knowing how he’d broken Army.
Brit shook his head. “I just know you stormed out, and I hadn’t heard from you until I turned up here. It must’ve been bad.”
The way Brit watched him tugged at Army’s heart. He didn’t want to be moved. Fuck. Why did it have to be this man? No one else got to him. “You made it clear I wasn’t anyone to you other than a fuck. I was just one person in a long line of men you could and would have the second I was gone.”
Brit’s eyes fell closed for a second before he focused on Army once more. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Addicts rarely mean anything they say,” Army shot back. “But that doesn’t change a thing.”
“I’m not an addict.”
Army scrubbed his hands through his hair. Brit drove him insane. “Yeah. That’s the same thing my mom always said right before I ended up in a new foster home. Forgive me if I’ve gotten too old to swallow that bullshit.”
He hated Brit’s sad expression. “I don’t know how to prove myself to you.”
Army shrugged. “Maybe you can’t, but it doesn’t really matter, because I don’t want to love anyone else who loves drugs more than me.”
“Is that a fear? That you’ll fall for me,” Brit clarified.
No matter how hard he tried, Army’s voice wouldn’t work. He shrugged again and shook his head. No way would he admit it was too late. Those four months Brit had given him had ruined Army for anyone else. But—like he’d said—it didn’t matter. In the end, love wouldn’t make Brit clean.
Brit stared at some point past Army. “I think it’s too late for me,” he said, sounding like it was more for himself than Army. “You’re already the first thought in my head every morning.” With that punch to the gut still hanging between them, Brit shoved the key to Army’s house in his front pocket. “If you won’t take my money, at least let me make sure you have something waiting for you to eat when you get home.”
Army shrugged and headed for the door. “Whatever. I get home around six. Don’t make me sorry.” He slipped outside and slammed the door behind him without giving Brit time to respond. Since he was already sorry, there was nothing Brit could say anyway.
Brit stared at the spot where Army had been. When the door didn’t fly back open, and Army didn’t take his words back, Brit bent at the waist and sucked air. There was no way he could’ve prepared for Army’s hatred. It was worse than a thousand knives through the heart. He’d expected it to be bad, but nothing could’ve prepared him for Army’s anger. There was no describing what it was like to go from being in the man’s loving arms to staring into the man’s sexy eyes filled with hatred.
There had to be some way to make things up to him. He could’ve gone anywhere in the world to hide out. There was only one place he wanted to be. Brit’s gaze landed on the notes Army scratched out from his phone call. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Army had money issues. That was one problem Brit could make go away. Even if Army couldn’t forgive him, Brit wanted Army to be happy. Fuck. Army claimed Brit had told him he was only one man in a long line of many. Brit didn’t doubt it for a second. Bugger. He didn’t know how to come back from that. Army planned to pay his car note online. Brit’s gaze slid to the open laptop on the kitchen counter. He slid his finger across the laptop’s pointing device, bringing the computer to life. He typed in the name of the finance company. The name auto-filled after two letters. That was good. When the homepage popped up, the man’s username and password automatically filled in. A smile that felt evil even to him stretched Brit’s lips. He logged in and checked the balance. It wasn’t that bad. Even though he knew the payoff would be less than the full balance, he liked the thought of Army getting a surprise check for the amount he’d overpaid. In a matter of a few clicks, Army owned his car. A small slice of guilt lifted from his shoulders. He’d done something to make Army’s life better. He hadn’t completely ruined the man.
With that out of the way, Brit wandered the house, giving himself a tour. Every time he’d been there in the past, he’d seen the bedroom and nothing else. He’d always been in a hurry, rushing to see Army before needing to return to his tour. Now he noticed things he never had before. The living room was small, but the whole house was too. His couch was dark brown and looked to be some sort of microfiber. The entertainment center and coffee table were oak-colored, but Brit suspected they weren’t real wood. Everything was clean—like meticulously so. How had he never noticed that about Army? Brit made his way down the short hallw
ay. There were only two doors. The first led to a bathroom. It looked like it was never used. Brit could attest he’d never been in there before. There was nothing personal about the room and the cabinets were empty. Brit hit the other doorway. It was a library or reading room of sorts. Hell, maybe it was just where Army kept his massive number of books. There were bookcases next to bookcases, filled with books and nothing else. A smile tugged Brit’s lips as he checked some of the titles. There was everything from classics to modern science fiction mixed with romance and history. Brit backed out of the room and headed back for the living room. There was one more doorway on the opposite side of the living room.
Brit bit his bottom lip as he crossed the threshold into what he knew to be Army’s bedroom. He loved Army’s large bed for so many reasons. When a person was tall like they were, it was impossible to sleep on a small mattress. The two of them together, they’d burned up the sheets. The bed was covered in a dark gray comforter. It was made, making Brit wonder if Army was a bit of clean freak. For a man who lived alone, his house seemed unnaturally at rights. Everything seemed to have its place. Once again, all the furniture was oak-colored, but not real wood. Brit opened the closet. Everything was perfect in there too. With a shake of his head, he closed the door and inspected the small bathroom inside the bedroom. Even though he’d been inside it before, Brit still looked at the tiny bathroom, as if it was the first time he’d seen it. The room only had a shower, toilet, and sink. Brit opened the cabinet above the sink. A smile touched his lips. This was the bathroom Army always used. There was toothpaste and aftershave. The shower had shampoo and body wash. This was Army’s space. Brit’s smile grew as he headed for the door. He needed to grab his bag from his rental. He was about to invade the hell out of Army’s space. By the time Brit was through, Army wouldn’t know what hit him, and he’d forget all about the convention.
“Sorry I’m late,” Army said as he clocked back in after lunch.
“Did you meet a hot guy and get distracted?” Linda asked, laughing.
Army tossed a wink her way. “Nope. A sexy man showed up on my doorstep and offered me twenty-five-thousand dollars to let him stay with me for a while.”
Linda snorted. She covered her mouth and nose when the sound came out louder than she’d obviously anticipated. “You’re a riot. If you’re not writing these crazy fantasies down for a book, I’m about to start. You could make a killing with your imagination. Does this sexy man have a name?”
“Brit,” Army answered without a hint of shame. It wasn’t as if Linda would ever believe him anyhow.
“Is that his real name, or do people call him that because he has a British accent?”
Her question gave him pause. Army had never thought to ask. After all, lots of actors used a stage name. Tanner could be his, but Brit did have a British accent. Of course, it didn’t make sense for anyone to call the man by a nickname if he already had a stage name. Fuck, Army managed to confuse himself. “No,” Army said, coming to a decision. “That’s his real name, but he does have a British accent.”
“Wow,” Linda said, her voice taking on a dreamy edge. “I need a description.”
Army grabbed a wheeled cart and started loading up the book returns. “My height. Blond hair and light-blue eyes. He’s my age but looks even younger.”
“The kind of man who will always look ten years less than his real age,” Linda supplied.
Army nodded. “Exactly. His hair curls at the ends. When he wears a stocking cap, it curls around the edges, making him look like an angel.” For a moment, Army got lost in the images in his head. Finally, the silence penetrated his daydreams. He turned to find Linda staring into space with a book held against her chest.
She blinked, coming back to herself when she realized Army was staring at her. “I miss being young,” she said with a sad smile. She visibly shook off her melancholy and winked. “At the very least, I wish I had what it takes to be a bona fide cougar.”
“You should do it,” Army said, wishing Linda would. It could only liven up the place.
A blush touched her cheeks, and she waved his idea away. “Nah. I miss kissing, but I don’t have what it takes to keep up with the kinky world we live in these days.”
“No whips and chains for you, huh?”
Rather than laughing, as he expected, Linda looked thoughtful. “Hmmm,” she hummed. She shook her head. “I guess I’ve never really considered it.”
A surprised laugh escaped Army. “I’d better get these put away,” he said, aiming the cart toward the shelves. “If I hang around too long, I’ll have you signing up for one of those fetish lifestyles dating apps.” He walked away, chuckling. If Linda decided she could be a cougar after all, maybe it would stop him from always telling all his secrets. Not that anyone believed him.
The light pouring in from the windows lessened as Army got lost in his work. He loved books. When he’d gotten hired at the library, he’d worried working with them every day would kill his fondness for reading. If anything, his love had grown. He couldn’t count the number of times he brought pages to his nose and lost himself in the scent of their hidden dreams. Stories were so much better than reality, or at least they were better than his reality.
“Hey, Army.”
Army startled at the sound of his name. He’d gotten lost in the silence and comfort of the building. He turned a smile Linda’s way. “Yep?”
“Can I buy you dinner tonight? You know my sister is in town, and two weeks is just too much in each other’s company. I need a night away.”
As Army listened to Linda ramble, he pictured Brit at home with dinner waiting. The warmth in his chest hurt more than he anticipated. He had to be the most ridiculous person on the planet, falling in love with someone like Brit. Not only was the man out of his reach, he was everything Army had been trying to escape when he’d moved to the tiny town of Charlestown. Nothing exciting ever happened here, especially not drug-addicted boyfriends who broke hearts.
“I’d love to,” Army said, interrupting Linda’s long explanation.
“Yay,” she cheered. Her smile made his acceptance worthwhile. At forty-two, Linda had given up on men, and Army genuinely liked her. He’d worried when he’d moved here that a small town would equal small minds. Linda had been the first person he’d met. She’d set his every fear to rest. In fact, she was closer to being a mother to him than his mother had ever been. If she needed an escape from her sister, he was there.
Brit shouldn’t have been surprised when Army didn’t turn up by six. Of course, he’d also never expected to find an enraged Army when he’d shown up on the man’s doorstep. Brit wrapped his coat tighter around himself and shifted in the rocker on the porch, so he could kick his heels up onto the railing. His life was a fucked-up mess. He’d like to claim he didn’t know exactly when that had happened, but he could point to the date on a calendar if asked. Army had become a beacon of hope for him, making him believe one day he’d have a real life. Now everything was fucked, and the man wasn’t even coming home.
Charlestown was close enough to the beach and far enough south that it didn’t drop to freezing in the winter, but it got cold enough to need a thick layer at night. Brit could go inside. Then again, he couldn’t. Army was out there somewhere, thinking the worst of him. He’d racked his brain, trying to think of a way to explain. Brit’s hands were tied. All he could do was hope—with enough time—he could prove himself. It wouldn’t happen if Army kept avoiding him.
A set of headlights finally turned down the drive. Brit fought to keep his unaffected pose. It got harder when Army’s tall form spilled from the car. Brit balled his hands into fists. He wanted to come to his feet and greet Army with a kiss. The temptation was choking. Instead, he stayed put. There was no stopping his eyes from eating Army alive. Damn, the man was beautiful. With his wool coat and glasses, he looked every bit the sexy librarian.
“Hey,” Army said as he claimed the rocker next to Brit.
Brit trie
d tearing his gaze away without luck. “Hey. Your dinner is in the microwave.”
Army kept his gaze locked on some point in the distance. “I’ll put it in the fridge.”
“Are you not hungry?” Brit didn’t know how to be nonchalant when it came to Army.
“I’ve already eaten. I had a date.”
Ouch. Army still wouldn’t look at him, which turned out to be a good thing, since Brit couldn’t hide his wince. “Oh.”
At his response, Army finally looked his way. His gaze moved over Brit’s face, as if searching for something only he understood. He leaned back in his seat and matched Brit’s pose. Their shoes were inches from touching on the railing. “My co-worker, Linda, took me to dinner. Her sister is in town, and they don’t get along. She needed a break.”
“Oh.” Brit didn’t dare to say more. As it was, he didn’t do a good job of hiding his relief. Thankfully, Army kept talking and saved him from a thousand confessions.
“On her fortieth birthday, her husband left her for some twenty-two-year-old girl who works at the coffee shop.”
Brit sucked a breath between his teeth. “Ouch.”
Army nodded but didn’t look Brit’s way. “I’ve been trying to convince her to rejoin the dating scene, but things are slim pickings around here.” Army chuckled. The sound had chill bumps rising on Brit’s skin. He’d felt that sound against his cock. Goddamn, he’d lost everything. “Sometimes, when we go out, I sit extra close to her, hoping people will talk and rumors will spread to her ex. Obviously, I’m not interested, but she’s a gorgeous lady, and her ex is an idiot. He can’t see that chick from the coffee shop only wants help with her tuition. Everyone knows she’s sleeping with her foreign studies professor too.”
Brit found himself sucked into the gossip. “I guess in a town this small, everyone knows everyone.”
Army turned his head. Their gazes met. Brit forgot what they were talking about. “Don’t worry. No one will call the press about you being here, or whatever it is you’re worried about. My guess is that no one other than me has ever heard of Vamps in Space. This isn’t the most imaginative place.”
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