by Caroline Lee
“You’re lovely, honey. Don’t ever think otherwise.”
He’s just saying that because he likes what we do in bed together. Once he knew about the baby, would he still want to hold her? Would he still think she was lovely?
“I’m pregnant.” The blurted admission stunned her almost as much as it stunned him.
Lucas reared back, his hands on her upper arms. “Are you… Shannon, really? Are you sure?”
When she nodded, a look came across his face she couldn’t identify. She’d expected him to be happy, but there was a hint of fear there too. He pulled her against him then, wrapping his arms tight across her back as if he could anchor her there. Hesitantly, she inched her hands around his sides until she was holding on as well.
They stood like that for a long moment, and before long Shannon swore she could feel his heart beating in time with hers.
Finally, he stirred.
“You’re pregnant.” His voice was rough against her hair. “We’re going to have a baby.”
His reaction was so much like hers Shannon felt her lips curve.
“I’ve been saying this is what I wanted, but now—? I…I can’t believe it. Now it’s actually happening, and I don’t know what to say.”
Was it her imagination, or did he sound close to tears? As if he didn’t know if he should be happy or worried either. Shannon pressed herself against him even tighter.
“That was my reaction too,” she confessed against his shoulder, and felt more than heard his snort of laughter.
Then he pulled away, his hands back on her arms once more, as if he could keep her from running away. “You’re sure, Shannon? You’re going to have our baby?”
She nodded again. “Are you…pleased?” The blush climbed unbidden up her cheeks until she knew she glowed like a tomato, and she tightened her grip on his shirt.
Instead of immediately reassuring her, Lucas looked…hesitant. A pit opened in her stomach. Oh God, this was what she’d been afraid of. Now that she was pregnant, he would lose interest in her.
“Aw, honey, I’m sorry.” Something in her expression must’ve given her away, because Lucas lifted her chin with a finger. “Of course I’m happy. I shouldn’t have taken my time answering, huh?”
She was too busy fighting down the feelings of loss and emptiness to respond.
“Shannon, I’m sorry. I’m thrilled. Really.” He lifted her chin even more until she was staring into his warm eyes. “We’re having a baby. I can’t believe it.”
Part of her couldn’t believe it either. She wanted to tell him that, to join in his celebration, but she wasn’t sure if he really was celebrating, or if he was already thinking of ways to pull away from her now that he had what he wanted.
Oh, if only she hadn’t lied to him months ago when they’d first written! If only she’d told him the whole truth so he would trust her now!
But she’d made her bed, and now would have to sleep in it.
Apparently whatever he saw in her face wasn’t comforting, because his grip on her arm tightened. “Don’t worry. Everything will be alright.”
Would it? She heard herself make a noise that might’ve been a laugh, or might’ve been a sob, and she pulled her chin out of his grip to bury it in his shoulder once more.
“Aw, honey.” He whispered a curse against her hair, then his arms wrapped tight around her once more. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
The rhythmic stroking of his hands against her back should’ve been soothing, but the comfort he offered her made her want to cry.
She was going to have the baby she always wanted, and her husband was a kind man whom she didn’t deserve. And now that she was giving him what he wanted—needed—there was no reason for him to continue treating her so sweetly.
But his hands kept soothing her, and she felt…cherished.
“I’ll keep you safe, Shannon, I will.” His hold tightened. “I swear. You and the baby will be safe.”
Safe? It was too late for that. Her heart was never going to be safe now.
She loved a man who couldn’t love her back.
Chapter Six
He was going to be a Daddy!
Lucas was still walking around with his head in the clouds. He’d wanted this, had imagined it, but now, to hear it was actually happening? It was surreal.
Before, the idea of having an heir meant security and peace, but now…? Now, all he could think about was, in a few short months there was going to be a tiny little human in this world who was going to rely entirely on him for its safety and happiness and comfort. He was going to be a daddy, and that was much more important than just having an heir.
But as soon as Shannon had told him, he’d realized the truth: he would do anything to protect this helpless little person. That feeling had hit him so hard in the gut, he was lucky to have been holding on to her, or he would’ve had to sit down.
He was going to be a Daddy, and he vowed that he’d be a better father than his own had been. That wouldn’t be too hard, he’d often thought, but he knew now he’d make it true. This little person wouldn’t ever have to wonder how much Lucas loved him—or her—and wouldn’t ever have to worry about living up to his expectations. He’d love his child as much as he loved his wife.
All of that realization and emotion and longing had hit him right in the gut when Shannon had told him about the baby that morning. They’d been arguing—of course she’d figured out why he’d hired Verrick, but what was that nonsense about her being ugly?—and then Bam! That news almost buckled his knees.
He was going to be a Daddy!
But she must’ve realized how much danger she was in. After all, she’d been smart enough to figure out Pierce wanted Lucas dead, so she must’ve realized—even though it had taken him far too long to figure it out himself—that she was in danger too. He’d seen the way her expression had fallen, and had just known it meant she was afraid. It hurt so damn much to realize not only had he put her in danger by marrying her, but he’d frightened her as well.
It was his fault, and the guilt made him feel about two feet tall.
So he was running away. Blake had brought word about a missing group of cattle, and Lucas was going to join his foreman and Sam and Lefty, to see if they could follow the tracks back to Pierce’s land. If they could prove Pierce was re-branding his beef, then…
Lucas sighed, and dropped his forehead against the leather of the saddle he was strapping to the feisty little mare he preferred. If they could prove Pierce was behind all the trouble at Sunset Valley, then what? Nothing. He wasn’t going to stop at threats, or else he would’ve quit by now. No, Pierce was too confident, with his men and his gunslinger and his history with Lucas’s father.
Pierce wasn’t going to stop, and Shannon was going to get hurt.
He groaned and knocked his head against the saddle once more, before straightening. He was going to have to speak with Verrick about his plans for Baker. Two-Grins couldn’t be allowed to hurt Shannon and their baby. He just couldn’t.
“I would caution you against leaving.”
At the sound of Verrick’s voice, Lucas swung around. Sure enough, the stoic gunslinger was standing—hands behind his back as always, all of his weight resting on the balls of his feet as if he was ready to spring into action—between the mare’s stall and the stable doors.
Despite the heat, the man’s black clothing was immaculate.
Where did he sleep? How did he manage to look as if he was going to church all the time?
“Why?” Maybe it was surprise at seeing Verrick pop out of nowhere which made Lucas sound so irritated. “I’ve got work to do.”
“Trust your foreman to find your missing cattle.”
It shouldn’t have surprised Lucas that Verrick knew about his plan for the day. The man seemed to know everything going on around Sunset Valley. But the guilt of putting Shannon in danger—of making her so sad this morning when she realized it—made him mulish. “This is my land, Verrick. I’m
going to make sure the ranch survives.”
“And it is my responsibility to make sure you survive.”
Maybe it was the blandness of the other man’s delivery, or the fact the memory of the look on Shannon’s face was eating up Lucas’s insides. Maybe it was both, but whatever it was, Lucas pulled off his hat and slammed it against his thigh, in lieu of throwing something. Like a punch. He cursed long and loud, but it didn’t seem to help.
And Verrick didn’t even blink. “I swore I would protect both of you, but I can’t do that if you leave the house.”
“Forget me!” Lucas yelled, pointing through the stable walls toward the house. “Shannon is the one in danger. After this morning—” His voice broke then, and he stopped, ashamed of how he’d lost control of his anger and fear in front of this man. He swallowed, willing his heart to beat at a normal pace. “You’ve got to protect her.”
“I’ll protect both of you. All three of you.”
Verrick’s voice hitched slightly at the word three, but Lucas didn’t care the man was finally showing some emotion, or that he seemed to know about the baby already. Of course he knew about the baby. Lucas had known about the baby for all of two hours, but Verrick seemed to always know everything about everything anyhow.
Lucas cursed again, even though he knew it made him sound petulant. How many times had his father told him he sounded like a sentimental fool when he’d gotten so angry he wanted to punch something? Father used to blame Mother’s influence for making Lucas so emotional, but Mother had always said it wasn’t a bad thing to care so deeply. Still, whenever he lost his temper so thoroughly and satisfyingly, he could remember Father standing there glaring at him.
The way Verrick was now.
Only, the other man wasn’t actually glaring, Lucas realized. In fact, he looked… Well, Lucas had never seen Verrick with any other expression than his normal bland one, but right now his lips were actually turned down in a slight frown, and there was something else in those eerie golden eyes.
Knowing Verrick was watching—judging—him, forced Lucas to take a calming breath. He didn’t feel any less guilty about what he’d done to Shannon, but he knew he’d be able to do something about it.
Pointing at the gunslinger with the hand still holding his hat, Lucas managed to keep his voice calm when he said, “I want you to find Baker and kill him.”
“When he comes here to hurt you or your wife, I will kill him.”
“No.” Lucas clenched his jaw until he heard a pop. He had to make Verrick understand. “No. Find him. Kill him. Now.”
The gunslinger cocked his head, which was about as much emotion as Lucas could hope for from the impassive man. “When you hired me, you explained I would remain here on the ranch, protecting you until the danger was past.”
“The danger won’t be past until Baker is dead!”
Verrick didn’t even blink at Lucas’s outburst. “You weren’t this adamant when you hired me.”
“That’s because Shannon wasn’t in danger then.” Why couldn’t he understand?
“Ah.” Verrick took three steps closer. “You didn’t care this strongly about yourself before because you didn’t think yourself worth killing for, unless your life was actually on the line.”
Lucas opened his mouth to snap a reply, but realized at the last moment Verrick was correct. The man who didn’t appear to have any of his own emotions had just explained exactly how Lucas felt. So he shut his mouth and eyed the gunslinger warily.
Verrick had been watching and nodded when Lucas refrained from speaking. He looked…approving. Approving because he’d figured out what was bothering Lucas, or approving because Lucas had kept his mouth shut?
“You love her.”
This time, Lucas scowled at Verrick’s not-at-all-a-question. “You know I do.”
“Then you kill Baker.”
The silence stretched.
You kill Baker. You kill Baker.
Verrick’s words repeated in Lucas’s head, until he could think of nothing else.
Kill Baker.
Behind him, one of the horses nickered and the noise sounded loud in the still stable.
Kill Baker to protect Shannon.
“I can’t,” he managed to choke out. He’d never taken a man’s life, and couldn’t imagine doing it, couldn’t imagine staining his soul like that…
But he loved Shannon. And he was going to be a Daddy. Surely, surely, that was worth a stain on his soul, to protect her? To protect them.
Verrick took two more precise steps, until he stood within arm’s reach. Vaguely, Lucas registered the gunslinger’s hands had fallen forward, to rest on the black leather of his gun belt, so close to the butts of the Colt and the smaller revolver. And just as vaguely, Lucas wondered when he’d stopped being afraid of this notorious man.
“Yet you expect me to.”
Lucas met Verrick’s eyes, but didn’t understand his stoic statement. “What?”
“You expect me to kill Baker.”
“That’s your job!” That’s why I hired you.
Verrick didn’t quite shrug, but the twitch of his shoulder might have been the closest Lucas had seen to one. “You, however, are the one with the reason to want him dead.”
“You have a reason too!” shouted Lucas, thinking of the sizable sum he’d promised Verrick by telegraph. He was ashamed at how frustrated he sounded, but unable to calm down enough to argue rationally.
But at his outburst, Verrick jerked forward, as if reacting to Lucas’ pain and guilt. He held himself still for a long moment, then Lucas watched the other man inhale deeply and straighten.
Verrick’s eyes—only a few shades lighter than Lucas’s—seemed to pierce the feet between them. After far too many heartbeats, he inclined his head briefly. “Yes. I do.”
Lucas exhaled. “I’ll get the money—”
“Loving someone means you will do whatever is necessary to protect them.”
Lucas scoffed and turned away, hoping to drown out Verrick’s voice in his head. You kill Baker.
“Like you would know,” he muttered under his breath. It was impossible to imagine someone like Verrick loving anyone.
But part of him wanted the gunslinger to defend himself, to tell Lucas who he had loved, and what he’d had to do to protect that person. Instead, there was only silence behind him. Lucas placed both hands on the saddle his patient mare still wore and wondered what he was going to do.
Verrick’s voice, when it finally came, was way over by the door. That man sure could move silently. “Don’t leave your wife today. I will stay nearby.”
Ugh.
Verrick was right; Lucas couldn’t leave Shannon. Not after what she’d told him that morning. Not while she must be so scared. He’d gotten her into this, and he would do anything to protect her.
It wasn’t until he’d pulled the saddle off the horse and was standing there staring at a knot in the wood of the stable wall that Lucas realized exactly how he felt. He loved Shannon and would do anything to protect her.
Loving someone means you will do whatever is necessary to protect them.
Verrick’s words echoed his own thoughts. And Lucas knew what that meant. It meant the gunslinger was right, and Lucas would protect his wife.
He’d never killed a man before. In fact, he’d always felt a sort of vague contempt for men like his father and Pierce and King, who could push around and intimidate other men. So a man who would kill? Lucas didn’t want anything to do with that sort of man. Never wanted to be that sort of man.
But he’d do anything to protect Shannon and their unborn child.
Because that’s what a father did.
Lucas swallowed and finished putting away his tack. It was time to accept the truth; if Two-Grins Baker came to the ranch to hurt Shannon, Lucas would become the man he never thought he’d be. He would kill Baker, if Verrick wouldn’t.
Of course, Pierce was still the problem. Even with Baker out of the way, Pierce coul
d still threaten Shannon. Maybe knowing Verrick was at Sunset Valley would discourage Pierce from trying another scheme to get the land?
But Lucas couldn’t afford to pay Verrick indefinitely. The gunslinger hadn’t discussed compensation, but Lucas had quoted him a high payment when he’d originally telegraphed, and Verrick had arrived, so surely that meant the price was settled.
Oh well. He could always ask Verrick what he thought after the immediate danger was past.
Because it was only a matter of time before Baker showed up at the ranch to kill Lucas. And now he realized that pregnant or not, Shannon would be killed too. There was no way Lucas would let that happen.
He gave his mare one last pat, then straightened his shoulders. He had to find Blake and tell him to be careful while he investigated the missing cattle…then he had to go load his father’s revolver.
When Baker and Pierce arrived, he’d be ready.
Chapter Seven
“Sooo? Are you going to tell me what has you so distracted?”
Cora’s question barely cut through Shannon’s concentration. She was focused on removing the cookies from the hot tray without burning herself, and thinking about the conversation she’d had that morning with Lucas.
“Distracted? I’m not distracted,” she mumbled distractedly.
Her sister snorted. “You asked a question about my latest project, and you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?”
Shannon looked up, focusing momentarily on the wall in front of her. Cora was right; she hadn’t listened to her sister’s answer. In fact, she couldn’t even recall asking the question. So she shrugged, and once more bent over the hot sugar cookies. “Sorry. Are you still working on that landscape you were so excited about last week?”
This time Cora burst into laughter. “I swear, if this is what being pregnant does to your brain, I’m never going to try it!”
Shannon turned around indignantly, her hands on her hips and the cookies forgotten. “You know too?”
Her sister was sitting on the table, swinging her bare feet back and forth, and grinning proudly. “Not until you just confessed I didn’t!”