“Don’t listen to him,” said Lizzie. “He likes to be outrageous sometimes.”
She punched Mal in the arm.
Molly excused herself to go to her room and take off her hat.
Ben followed.
“Don’t worry,” he said quietly, placing his hands on her shoulders as she looked into the mirror. “We’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you.”
“What about Hope?” Molly asked, just as quiet, suddenly frightened of what lay ahead.
“We’ll put her crib in the living room and still be able to hear her if she cries.”
Well, he seemed to have it all worked out, much to her dismay.
Ben took her hands in his. “I promise you will like making love, and you’ll love the children we make.”
Her voice quavered and if he hadn’t been holding her hands, he could have seen them shake. “I’m scared. I’ve never…done…it…never—”
“I know, and that pleases me very much. Now, let’s entertain our guests.”
They returned to Ben’s room, Mal and Lizzie were over in a corner watching the babies play. The two youngsters got along so well together.
“Mal and I have made a decision,” said Lizzie when she saw they were standing next to her. “We’re going to take Hope home with us, so you have some privacy.”
“No,” said Ben widening his gaze and putting his hands out palm up. “I can’t let you do that. Matt and Julia left her with me and here she’ll stay. You wouldn’t want me handing off my duties of watching Roy, to someone else, no matter how well you know them.”
“You’re right.” Lizzie tilted her head then nodded. “I would expect Roy to be with you whenever I came for him. Well, it was just a thought, but I know you’ll be fine. Hope is a good baby.”
“Yes, she is,” agreed Molly and Ben together.
After everyone had left, Molly and Ben played with Hope, fed her lunch, and then put her down for a nap. She seemed so tired.
As soon as Ben laid her in the crib, she started to cry. He’d get her back up and they all would play until Hope could barely keep her eyes open and Ben would lay her down again. But the moment her back touched the mattress, her little eyes popped open and she started crying.
“She needs a nap. Regardless of what we want, she comes first. Why don’t we lie down on the bed with her between us? All three of us will get some rest that way. And when she does fall asleep tonight, we won’t be too tired ourselves.” Molly hoped she didn’t sound too anxious or standoffish. She really was trying to come up with a solution to Hope’s problem.
“She’s not usually like this. Generally, she goes right down for her nap and at night.”
“Maybe she doesn’t feel good. Is she teething? Is she running a fever?”
Ben reached up and felt Hope’s forehead. “I think she is a little warm.”
“I’ll go see if Sadie has any willow bark tea. That will help with the fever, and with the pain. She’s probably teething. Let me see.”
She went to Hope and stroked her face. “Let’s see if you’re teething little girl. Molly put her finger in Hope’s mouth and felt around her gums. She found a place where the gum was swollen, like a tooth was trying to come through. “Ah, there it is. She is teething. I’ll get her a wet washrag to chew on.”
“I should have known after helping with all my siblings, but for some reason with Hope, everything seems new again.”
“How long since you were around a baby?”
“My youngest brother is ten years younger than me, so he’s twenty-five, so it’s been that long. Twenty-five years.”
She smiled. “I’d say you’re allowed to forget how to do things in that length of time.”
Molly went to the bureau and poured some water from the pitcher into the basin. It wasn’t icy but was cool and would stay that way. The coolness would help. She put in a wash cloth in got it sopping wet and then wrung it out well so it wasn’t dripping. Then she handed the cloth to Hope.
The baby immediately put it in her mouth and chewed on it. Then she took it out, grinned, babbled a little and put it back.
Molly thought maybe she was saying thank you in baby talk.
“Do you have some whiskey?” Molly remembered another remedy her mother had tried on Molly’s little brother, Robert.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Don’t you think it’s a little early?”
“Not for me, I don’t drink hard spirits, but if we take a little and rub on her gums it will help with the pain.” She shuddered. “She won’t like the terrible taste though.”
“Let’s try the tea first and see if that helps.” Ben looked at her and furrowed his eyebrows. “I thought you didn’t know much about babies.”
“I have the one brother and I helped to raise him. I actually know a bit about babies, just not as much as I thought you did.”
“I’m sorry Hope is making us postpone our wedding activities.”
“I’m still a little nervous so I’d be lying if I said that I mind.”
“We’re just postponing it for a short time. Instead of this afternoon, as I had planned, we’ll wait until this evening when she is truly asleep.”
Molly swallowed hard. “All right.”
“Come here, Molly.”
She stepped closer and looked up into his steady gaze.
He leaned down and took her lips with his.
His kisses were heady things. They could make her forget what she was doing. She pulled back, a little dazed and definitely out of breath.
“Don’t forget to trust me. You’ll feel so much pleasure, you won’t want to stop.”
“You have an awfully big ego, to assure me that I’ll feel pleasure in coupling. My mother told me about the marriage bed. Except for making children, she said it was to be avoided at all costs.”
“Good grief.” Frowning, Ben shook his head. “No wonder you’re afraid. Let me tell you now that your mother was wrong. There is great pleasure to be found in the marriage bed, if done right.” He brushed a finger along her cheek. “And I intend to do it right. You’ll see. I promise.”
Molly had no reason not to trust him, but she was still concerned and hoped the baby would stay awake late into the night, not because of pain but just because she didn’t want to sleep. Molly would never wish pain on anyone, especially a little baby like Hope.
Only an hour passed before the tea and the whiskey did the trick, and Hope went to sleep in her crib.
“Now, we can go to our bed. Give me your hand.”
Molly placed her hand in his. His smooth, warm skin felt so good. She hoped he didn’t notice her hand was slightly damp. She was nervous as hell.
Ben led her into the bedroom. As soon as they crossed the threshold, he pulled her to him and kissed her. One of his wonderful, toe-curling kisses. When she felt him pull back, she discovered her arms were around his neck. She wasn’t ready to quit kissing him and to let him know, she eased his head down to her.
He didn’t resist. Just smiled and lowered his head, letting his lips clash with hers.
When she finally pulled away, she was breathless. “I definitely like kissing you. Want to know a secret?”
He raised an eyebrow. “What secrets could you have?”
“Your kisses make my toes curl. And I like it.”
Ben chuckled. “I’m glad you find them pleasing. I find your response to be extraordinary. You’re a passionate woman, Molly King.”
Her new name. She pulled back a bit and grinned. “I really am Molly King, now aren’t I?”
He nodded. “Yes, you really are.”
She smiled and tilted her head. “Are you happy you married me?”
“Yes, I’m quite satisfied.”
Molly supposed, at this early date, satisfied was the most she could expect. She knew he didn’t love her. His first love was Julia. She knew that going in, so why did it hurt that he wasn’t happier to have married her? Was being satisfied enough? No. She knew she w
anted his love. Something she would never have.
If Julia hadn’t been so nice, then she could easily hate her, but even if Molly was that type, those feelings would only hurt her. She’d have to make the best life she could…with a man who probably would never love her. But, he was her husband and she would have his children. No one else could or would ever say that. And someday, she would make him love her. She’d keep trying until her dying day.
CHAPTER 6
Ben kissed her and walked her backwards to the bed. Then she touched it and would have fallen onto the mattress, but he stopped her, wrapped one arm around her back and used the other as a brace when he lowered them both to the bedspread.
He undid the buttons down the front of her dress revealing her chemise.
He nodded toward her bosom. “No corset? I like that. Easier access to your lovely self.” Pushing the front of her dress open wide, he unknotted the ribbon on her chemise and pulled it through one eyelet at a time.
Molly nearly stopped breathing, he was so slow. Blood pounded in her ears.
Finally he had the garment completely undone and opened it. Her body, to just below her breasts, was revealed.
“Lovely. Just as I remember from this morning.” He grinned. “Quick glance that it was.”
He lowered his head and took one turgid nipple into his mouth.
Gasping, Molly tingled clear to her toes. She grabbed the back of his head and pushed her breast toward him.
Ben sucked and nibbled on her like she was a prime bit of beef. One to be savored.
When he was satisfied with the one, he moved over to the other and did the same thing.
“Stand up for me, Molly. Take off your clothes.”
Emboldened by her vow to make him love her, she said, “Only if you do. I don’t want to be the only person in this room totally naked.”
“Very well, we’ll do so together.”
He toed off his boots.
She unbuckled her shoes and took them off, then stood and moved away from the bed. A simple shake of her shoulders made her dress pool in a pile at her feet.
His pants and under-drawers hit the floor next to hers.
She stepped out of her bloomers and slid her chemise off her shoulders. Molly watched his eyes darken to almost black with desire. For her. Not for Julia. For her. Molly.
He pulled open his shirt, buttons flying everywhere in his haste. Then he bent and picked up Molly, walking the few steps to the bed, and set her in the middle of the mattress.
“God, you’re beautiful.”
“I think you are, too,” she whispered the words, but he heard.
He chuckled. “Men are not beautiful.”
“Handsome then. But I still say the only way to describe your body is beautiful.” Now that she got a better look, she saw his stomach was flat and muscles defined his arms and legs. She reached over and ran a finger over the bulge in his arm. His staff stood proud and tall. Oh, yes, beautiful was definitely the word to use to describe his body.
She loved the feel of his skin next to hers, and the exotic sensations were overwhelming her sense of fear. Curiosity over-came her. What was this pleasure he spoke of?
Moving her hands up his chest, lightly sprinkled with soft, springy hair, she marveled at the softness of her body against the hard planes of his.
“Will you make love to me now?” Her breath quickened.
“Hmm, yes, in a bit. After I prepare you and show you the first of the pleasures to be had.”
He put his hand on her mons and moved down, pressing as he went. She felt wondrous pressure building inside with the stimulation he gave her. He entered her with one finger, and then two while continuing to press hard on her mons just above where his fingers were. She nearly came undone.
“Ben, I…don’t…please help me. I need something more.” She squirmed beside him, but his hand never left her body.
Then he rubbed her with his thumb and she shattered. He kissed her deeply, maybe so she wouldn’t scream, she didn’t know. All she knew was she soared to the heavens. And then fell back to earth a changed woman.
She panted and tried to catch her breath. “That was wonderful. I want to feel like that all the time. If my mother ever felt that, she wouldn’t have said the marriage bed was to be avoided. She’d have said to hasten to it.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Now it’s my turn. Open your legs for me, please?”
She opened for him and watched his face as he fit himself between her thighs, his member at her entrance. He pressed in a little and back out, then in again several times until she felt him at her barrier.
Her breath caught in her throat, the fullness amazing. She wasn’t sure he’d fit but he did.
“This may pain you, but not for long. Just bear with me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I know is that I want you in me.” Need swirled in her belly. “Now.”
Bracing himself on his elbows, he pressed forward, hard and fast, through her barrier and deeper inside until touched her mons with his body and his shaft could go no farther.
She gasped. Pain stabbed her womanly parts
“I’m sorry to hurt you, but I promise it will never hurt again.”
“It’s all right. It was only a pinch, nothing more. Continue, please.”
He bent down and kissed her. “Yes, ma’am Mrs. King. Whatever you desire.”
Ben filled her again and again, setting her off on that wondrous journey he began. Finally he shouted, plunged into her hard, and she felt his hot seed pour into her as he collapsed on top of her body.
Relishing his weight, she wrapped her arms around him. This was how marital relations were supposed to be. This was how a child was made, and she hoped they’d made one this night.
Ben raised himself, kissed her soundly, and then lifted his body off of hers. He crossed the room and came back with a washcloth.
“Open your legs, Molly, I need to see to you.”
“See to me?” She tightened her legs together. “I’m fine. Quite wonderful, actually.”
“But this will ease your soreness tomorrow. Now open, please.”
She felt her cheeks heat, but did as he said and he pressed the damp cloth against her. The coolness felt wonderful against her heated skin.
“This is all very embarrassing.” She looked away while he ministered to her most private place.
“Molly, look at me.”
Slowly she turned her head.
“There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Nothing between husband and wife is forbidden or embarrassing. You will get to be as comfortable in your nudity as I am in mine, at least when we are alone together.”
He pressed the cloth against her again.
The coolness invaded her and she sighed.
“Thank you. I do feel better.”
“Good.” He put the cloth on the night stand and lay back down with her.
She scooted away a few inches, giving him space in the bed. He was a big man, and the bed seemed small with him in it.
Rather than let her be, he stopped her and pulled her against his side.
“Don’t move away. I want to feel you next to me. I want to learn your body and for you to learn mine.”
“This is all so new. I don’t know how I feel yet. I think I like being married to you, but try to give me some time to get used to this intimacy.”
He stroked her face. “We’ll learn together. As long as we don’t keep secrets from each other, we’ll be fine.”
“All right. Tell me about Julia.” She lifted her chin and tilted her head. “You’re still in love with her, aren’t you? I saw the way you looked at her, your tenderness toward her. Will I ever have those feelings from you?”
“I do love, Julia. I have since the first moment I saw her in the stagecoach from Tucson.” He narrowed his gaze. “I don’t deny that I love her. But it can never be. She and Matt love each other. I can’t change that and wouldn’t if I could
. They belong together. Julia knew that from the beginning, but Matt took some convincing.”
Her throat tightened when she heard his admission. “So you’re saying you won’t ever love me?”
“I don’t rule out some form of affection. I like you very much, just from the little I know about you. But I don’t believe I’ll love anyone ever again.”
“I see.” She bit her lip, not to say more.
He hugged her closer. “Molly, don’t be upset. We both knew going into this that love was not guaranteed. I want children and so do you. That’s why we married.”
“No, you’re right.” She spoke slowly to keep her voice calm. “I shouldn’t expect more than that from our arrangement. If we can have children as wonderful as Hope, we’ll consider ourselves lucky.”
“Yes. And we will.” He smiled. “You wait and see.”
* * *
Molly had been married a week and went to the mercantile to restock her embroidery thread.
She entered the store and the bells above the door sounded. “Hello, Mrs. Bishop? I’m Molly King, Ben King’s wife.”
“Well howdy do. I wondered when you would get in here. With the hotel practically next door, I thought it wouldn’t be long. Call me Hazel.”
Hazel Bishop owned Smith’s Mercantile. She was a tall, stout woman of about fifty if her neat bun of gray hair was any indication. She wore a black cotton dress and crisp white apron.
“It’s good to meet you. I’m wondering if you have embroidery thread. I’m decorating some linen for Ben and me.”
“Sure do. Right over here.” She walked to a corner of the store away from the door, where there were all sorts of notions for sewing. Thread, needles, thimbles, scissors and embroidery thread.
Molly already had her eye on a deep red thread.
The bell above the door sounded again.
“You take your time looking through those and I’ll help this gentleman.”
“Thank you. I’ll be to the counter in just a moment. I already see the colors I want, but I may get a few extra.”
After making her decisions, she went to the counter and paid for her purchases.
“Come back soon, Molly.”
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