by Ryan, Alison
“Cereal is good all times of the day,” he replied, not looking up from his iPad. “Did you need something earlier? You ran down the hallway like you were being chased.”
I could feel my face turning red, “No. Like I said, I was looking for a restroom.”
“Isn’t there one off your bedroom?” he asked, looking up at me now, his hazel eyes fixed on me.
“I was downstairs. I’m still finding my way around the house. Why do I need to explain this to you?” I asked, agitated. “What do you care?”
“Just asking,” he said, looking back down at his iPad. “It stopped snowing. But it’s pretty cold, none of it’s going to melt. We’ll probably at least be stuck here another day.”
I sighed, “Great. I need to get back to school. I told them I’d be gone a week.”
“Camilla,” Nolan said. “You haven’t even been gone more than 2 days. Relax.”
I rolled my eyes, feeling like a sullen teenager. Something about how Nolan spoke to me made me feel like a child. Or at least, like he thought of me as one.
“Oh,” he said, standing up. He walked around me toward the sink. “Now that it’s not snowing, feel free to use the hot tub. I was thinking of using it later.”
“But there’s snow around it,” I said. “And I don’t have a bathing suit anyway.”
“Hot tubs are great when there’s snow,” Nolan said. “Anyway, you don’t have to use it. Just reminding you of it.”
“Thanks,” I said, flatly. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Alright,” he said. “Well… If you need anything, I suppose you know where I am now.”
Was that a smirk on his face? It seemed like it. He definitely didn’t buy the restroom story. I wanted to die.
I was alone in the kitchen now, just me and my cold Lean Cuisine meal. And despite everything I should have been thinking about, all I could think about was Nolan. And part of me wished he hadn’t gone off to his room so quickly.
Nine
Once I was back in my room, I had to admit relaxing in the hot tub for a little while didn’t sound like such a terrible idea. It also usually made me tired. I could soak a while, come upstairs, read a few pages on my Kindle, and drift off to sleep.
I dug through my suitcase. I’d thrown my whole closet in it, so I thought I might have just thrown a swimsuit in there too. Otherwise, I was going to have to go in a t-shirt and shorts. Not ideal.
As luck would have it, I’d packed a two piece. One I hadn’t worn in a really long time, so I hoped it still fit. It was on the skimpier side; I’d worn it on a trip to Myrtle Beach last summer to visit my roommate. I’d had mono the semester before, so I was thin enough to pull it off. One perk to mono- it made you skinny.
But I wasn’t skinny now, so part of me wondered if I should even attempt to shove my ass into it. What the hell, I figured. It’s not like there was anyone to impress. And Nolan was off in his room, doing whatever hot, mysterious, attorneys do when they’re alone.
I squeezed myself into it. My boobs spilled out of it obscenely and I thought about putting a t-shirt over it but since no one was going to see me in it, I decided to forego the modesty.
The bottoms weren’t much better. Both my ass cheeks hung out of them, making it more like a Brazilian bikini than a full-bottomed one. I glanced in the full length mirror. I was incredibly curvy but I still had a naturally taut, flat stomach, and pretty nice legs. I didn’t look half bad. For me.
I wrapped a large, plush towel I’d found in the bathroom around my body and went quietly downstairs to check out this hot tub situation.
As I walked through the kitchen, I passed a good sized wine rack in the space between the pantry and one of the ovens. It was full of course- my father loved his wine. And suddenly, wine sounded very good. A glass of wine, hot tub, and then sleep. Just what I needed. A different kind of escape.
I popped open a bottle of pinot noir and poured a generous amount into one of the glasses I found in the cabinets above the rack. I guzzled it, which wasn’t the most attractive thing I’d done in my life, but I needed a buzz.
The wine was good. It had an earthy, rich taste to it and I immediately had another glass after the first one. I sipped the second glass more slowly, taking my time with it as I stared out into the night.
My head felt nice and light. I was ready to relax.
The hot tub sat under the large porch above it, so no snow had fallen inside the tub, but banks of white powder surrounded it in a U shape. The sky was clear now, the stars twinkling above me and moonlight shining down on the lake. It was bitterly cold, but I had to admit, I’d never breathed in such clean, crisp air. Had it not been for the circumstances, I might have loved Lake Tahoe.
I left my towel on a chair inside the house and walked quickly to the tub, stopping to turn on the jets on a switch nearby. The frigid air stung my skin. I dipped my feet in first and submerged the rest of my body quickly.
It was heaven.
The rest of the house encircled the hot tub and the covered pool. I didn’t know what rooms looked out onto it, but I guess it didn’t matter. No one was here but me. And Nolan, wherever he’d gone.
Nolan Weston. What was it about him? He was gorgeous. But there was more. I supposed I was attracted to the mystery of him. He’d reached out to me. Held me in his arms, tried to comfort me. But why? What was his angle? Who was he? And who was my father?
I knew the answers were ahead of me. But right now all I wanted to do was think about Nolan and his body. I couldn’t get it out of my head, no matter how much I wanted to.
The water was hot and I could feel my skin turning pink. I knew I shouldn’t stay in long, especially after having two glasses of wine. I’d read a terrible story once about a couple who’d drank a ton, climbed into a hot tub, and were found dead the next morning. Hot tubs and alcohol didn’t mix.
But I needed the jets. I was flustered in a way I’d never been flustered before. The thought of Nolan’s naked body wouldn’t leave my mind. His arms over his head as he’d stretched. I’d never seen shoulders like his, a broad back that tapered down to a lean waist and perfect ass. His thighs were muscled and toned, his calves the same. And when he’d turned around and I’d seen… Well. Any woman who’d had the pleasure of his company was never left disappointed, I knew that now.
His cocky attitude matched what was in his pants. No wonder he was so self-assured.
I positioned my body so that one of the powerful jets of the hot tub was hitting me just right. God, the sensation. As I thought about Nolan I couldn’t help but close my eyes and imagine the jets were him.
Underneath my bikini top I could feel my nipples harden. I couldn’t remember a time I was more aroused. I slid one wet strap down and pulled my right breast out to touch myself, imagining my own hands were Nolan’s, imagining what he’d do to me if only he wanted me as I wanted him.
I knew I would come quickly, but I wanted to build the sensation, make it last. I imagined that’s how someone like Nolan Weston made love. He didn’t do things quickly- he was someone who would work me slowly, take me to the edge and pull me back again. He’d be methodical and good with the details. I’d beg for more quickly, so eager to have every single part of him, but I imagined he would be the one to resist the temptation to finish. He’d want me to…
I was coming. My orgasm washed over me like a giant wave, my body pulsing under my own touch and the relentless jets. I couldn’t help it, I audibly called out his name. It was so intense in that moment and when the pleasure finally subsided I was left feeling empty and a bit melancholy that it hadn’t been real.
As I leaned my head back against the tub, my wet hair hanging over the edge, I happened to look up at the sky. It was a blanket of stars and a full moon. More stars than I’d ever seen anywhere in my life. The silence of the night was overwhelming. I felt like the only person in the world. Tears stung my eyes. I was so fucking lonely.
As my eyes wandered from the sky back to the house,
I gasped.
Nolan was standing at the window to his room. I hadn’t realized it, but it appeared his bedroom had a sliding door that led right out to the pool and the hot tub. I didn’t know how long he’d been there or what he’d seen. But it was very clear he saw me now and that had he been standing there a while he certainly would have witnessed my unmistakable climax.
I was beyond shocked. Frozen in place, our eyes stayed locked on one another.
His expression was different. It wasn’t cold, it wasn’t something I couldn’t read. I knew that look.
It was lust. Desire.
He’d seen me. I was sure of it.
Ten
It seemed like hours before he finally turned around and retreated back into his room, turning the light off. I sat there, not sure what to do.
After a few minutes, I finally gathered the strength to get out of the hot tub. The heat was getting the best of me anyway, and I felt a little light headed. I prayed when I went inside he wouldn’t be in the kitchen. I just wanted to grab my towel and escape to my room. Again.
This would be the second time in one day I had humiliated myself in front of Nolan Weston. He must think I am such a freak, I thought to myself.
I ran to the glass door, dripping water all over the marble floors as I slid the door closed behind me. I wrapped the towel tightly around my shivering body and quickly trotted up the stairs, almost slipping twice on my way there.
Once I was in my room, I collapsed on my bed, not caring that I was still wet. Never in all my life had I been so exposed. Nolan had watched me getting myself off in a Jacuzzi. To the thought of him. Had he heard me call out his name as I climaxed? God, I hoped not.
I climbed out of bed and made myself shower. A few minutes later I was combing my hair out and putting on flannel pajamas. The most anti-sexy thing I owned.
Between the wine, the heat, and my mortification, I was able to fall asleep pretty fast. But even at night, he wouldn’t leave my mind. I dreamt of him. In my dream he didn’t walk away or shut off the lights.
In the dream, he joined me.
********
When I woke up the next morning, it was snowing again. And my head felt like it weighed about 50 pounds.
“Ugh,” I said out loud. “Wine hangovers are the worst.”
I stared at the ceiling fan above my bed, watching it whirl as I considered my options.
I was hungry, so I couldn’t avoid going downstairs forever. I needed water and Tylenol. Not to mention a sandwich, sustenance to help me get over this crappy feeling. But what the hell was I supposed to say to Nolan if I ran into him? Even if he wasn’t aware I’d been pleasuring myself to him, he still knew I’d been indulging in some self-satisfying. I was also pretty sure he knew I had seen him naked. So what was I supposed to do now? Just avoid him completely? Give him the cold shoulder? Jump his bones?
I didn’t know what to do. But at least it was distracting me from thinking about my father. At least there was that. I’d take embarrassment over despondency any day.
********
I took a long shower, washed and blew out my hair, taking a curling iron to it to tame the waves. I put on a pair of jeans and my lavender angora sweater. I looked in the mirror before heading downstairs. This was my prettiest self. Just in case Nolan Weston was around, I might as well look good. So he wouldn’t be as disgusted with me.
Back in the kitchen I poured myself a bowl of Frosted Flakes and was relieved to see I was alone.
I was almost done with my cereal and peeling a banana as I stared out the window at the view of Lake Tahoe that never seemed to get old. My thoughts were floating between Nolan and the future. It still hadn’t completely hit me that my father was gone. And that I had a lot to deal with as far as his estate, his things, his homes. I knew that I was about to open a vault, the vault that had been shut to me all these years. But where to start? I wished it would stop snowing so we could at least leave the house and begin the process of discovery.
“Good morning.”
The sound of his voice gave me instant goose bumps. But when I turned around, his voice was suddenly the last thing I was thinking of.
Nolan Weston was shirtless. He was in just a pair of gym pants, and covered in a light sheen of sweat. The sight of his bare chest made me immediately wish I wasn’t currently holding a huge banana to my mouth. I must have looked ridiculous. My jaw hit the floor at the vision of his pecs and shoulders. I was stunned.
“Um,” I said. “Yeah. Good morning, Nolan.”
“Sorry,” he said, sheepishly. “I was using the rowing machine and by the time I finished, my last clean shirt was soaked through. I’ll confess, I’m not so used to doing my own laundry. But I’ve got it in now. Forgive the nudity.”
I stared at him, not sure what to say. But I sensed a smile in his hazel eyes. I wasn’t sure if I believed his story, but at the moment I could have cared less.
“Yeah, it’s not a big deal,” I said, looking down at my banana. It had never seemed so phallic and sexual. Good grief, I could feel my cheeks reddening. “I should do a load later too.” As soon as the word “load” left my mouth, I regretted it. Between the banana, my vocabulary, and Nolan’s current state of undress, everything was beginning to feel like a very obvious and poorly written porno. All that was missing was a cheerleader knocking at the door and offering to shovel the driveway. In her uniform.
I contemplated jumping in the lake. Death by drowning or hypothermia had to be less painful than dying of embarrassment.
He leaned across me to grab an apple. His right arm brushed against the front of my sweater, making me suck in a breath and filling my nose with the aroma of his exertion on the rowing machine.
“Are you okay?” he asked, biting into the fruit. “You sleep well?”
I nodded, still not looking at him, “Well enough. You?”
“Great,” he replied, sitting down in the chair next to me. He smelled amazing.
“I tried out the hot tub,” he said. “Late last night. It looked pretty enticing.”
Was he messing with me? I couldn’t look him in the face, I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled through it, trying to act distracted and disinterested.
“Sounds nice,” I said. “Any word on the weather?”
“Yep,” Nolan replied. “We’re not stuck anymore. We can leave tomorrow. They just need to plow the driveway.”
Plow. Why did that word sound so suggestive coming out of his mouth?
Why was my mind making sexual innuendos out of everything? I was probably 15 years younger than Nolan. He probably didn’t look at me as anything more than an annoying, shallow, rich co-ed.
No matter how much I wished he didn’t.
But then again, why would he be shirtless in front of me? And the way he’d looked at me last night- that look was not platonic. Or curious. Or repulsed. Nolan had looked at me like he wanted to devour me. Like he loved what he had seen.
“So what’s next?” I asked, putting down my phone and finally looking up at him. He was staring right at me, his eyes so penetrating that I wanted to squirm.
“What do you mean?” He leaned forward now. “After our stay here?”
“Yes,” I said. He was so close to me. What would he do if I leaned in further and put my mouth on his? What would happen?
“You meet with the firm,” he said, now leaning back, distancing himself from me. I watched his abs stretch at the motion.
“Oh,” I said. “Sign shit? Learn Dad’s secrets?”
“Well,” Nolan said, standing. “Yeah. Somewhat. I was actually going to discuss that with you. I suppose it’s time you learn what exactly it is your father did.”
“He was an attorney,” I replied. “What’s there to know?”
Nolan looked at me for a long moment, like he was contemplating something. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it.
“He was a little more than that,” he finally said. “Have you been in the study yet?�
�
I shook my head, “Only just walked through it. Why?”
Nolan pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and handed them to me, “These are the keys to the desk in there. It was the desk your father used when he worked from here. There’s going to be a lot in there, a lot of surprising things. You’re going to learn who he was and what he did. You’ll have some questions, I’m sure. I’ll be right here to answer them. But I think it’s time, Camilla.”
My stomach dropped. I was nervous. This wasn’t what I expected. My father was an attorney who specialized in international business and relations. That’s what I knew and had always known. His work was his life and his life was his work. What was Nolan talking about?
“I guess I don’t understand,” I said, taking the keys from him, his fingers brushing against mine. For someone who was an attorney he had rough hands, calloused and coarse. How would they feel against my skin? I shivered at his brief touch.
“I know,” Nolan said. “But it’s time you know. Take these. Open the drawers. Find out who Richard Hunt really was.”
Eleven
I walked on wobbly legs to the study. My head was dizzy with possibility. I had hoped Nolan would accompany me, but he stayed behind. I guess this was a journey I had to go on by myself.
I sat down in the leather chair behind the mahogany executive desk, and for a moment I didn’t do anything. I had a feeling this was going to be another Before and After situation. Once I opened the desk drawers, there was no going back. I’d always wanted to know more about my father. This was me getting my wish, but not in the way I had wanted to.
I took a deep breath and opened the first drawer.
There were folders. Hundreds of folders, each stuffed with paperwork. I pulled the first one out. Opening it I could see there was a photo of a woman and a dossier attached to it.
The woman looked incredibly familiar to me and as soon as I saw her name, I gasped.