Sir Jons’s squire narrowed her red-rimmed eyes as she tightened her grip on the dead knight’s sword.
Garrett’s eyes fell upon his own sword, lying in its scabbard beside the bed. She quickly stepped to put her body between Garrett and the blade.
“He deserved better!” she said, her voice cracked with sorrow as tears rolled down her dirty cheeks.
Garrett leaned back as the swaying tip of the girl’s sword waved dangerously close to his left eye.
“At least...” he gasped, “At least tell me your name.”
“You do think she’s pretty!” Haven scoffed.
The Astorran squire spun to see the brown-haired girl standing in the doorway behind her with a wry grin on her face.
“Stay back!” the Astorran girl hissed, “He’ll be dead before you take two steps.”
“Not likely!” Haven laughed as she leaned against the doorframe, dangling a dagger by its pommel between her fingertips.
“An’ fer that matter, what’s tha point of all this threatenin’, if yer just gonna skewer tha poor boy anyway?” Shortgrass demanded as he stepped into view from behind the oil lamp on the desk.
“She hasn’t quite worked up the nerve to do it yet,” Haven laughed as she took a step into the room.
“Stay back!” the dark-haired assassin cried, jabbing the sword at Garrett’s face.
“Hey!” Garrett exclaimed ducking his head to the side to avoid losing an eye.
“You’ve never killed anyone before, have you?” Haven asked, grinning wickedly as she took another step toward the shaking Astorran girl.
“Get away from me!” the squire shouted as she quickly spun, bringing the silver spearhead against Garrett’s throat as she turned her longsword against the advancing girl in brown.
“It’s not quite as easy as you thought it would be, is it?” Haven chuckled, “Not how you had planned it all out as you sat, hiding in that bush all day!”
Garrett grimaced as the trembling Astorran girl hooked the tip of the spearhead into the hollow of his throat. “Can we all just...” he started to say.
“I can’t believe you chose sausage and cheese for your last meal though,” Haven said, shaking her head as she twirled the dagger between her fingers, “And that cheap wine, ugh... though I suppose you needed the whole bottle just to grow enough backbone to make your play.”
“Be quiet!” the Astorran girl sobbed, “I’ll kill him.”
“Not necessary!” Garrett cried, wincing as the tip of the silvered point jabbed into his skin.
“Maybe I’m being a little hard on her though,” Haven sighed, “I mean, it is her first time, and, after all, I was born a killer, so I might be holding her to an unreasonable standard. Shortgrass, what do you think?”
“I thinkin’ maybe she’s wishin’ she’d gone with a slightly diff’rent plan now,” the fairy mused, “Like stayin’ home.”
“I have no home!” the girl cried, as she looked at Garrett again, her eyes streaming with tears, “... I have no life... you took everything from me.”
Garrett swallowed hard, feeling a dark pressure in his chest, a cold aching that felt as if it would burst his heart if she looked at him like that for another moment longer.
The girl’s body tensed as she swung the sword around, its blade whistling through the air toward Garrett’s head.
“Te vaardre tu cosheili, na’verrden sha!” Shortgrass was already shouting, and the girl’s eyes rolled back. The sword clattered against the desktop, shattering the lamp as the fairy leapt clear.
The Astorran girl’s knees folded, and she collapsed. Garrett and Haven barely caught her before she hit the floor. Haven wasted no time in prying the spearhead from the girl’s hand and tossing it away.
Garrett gave the fairy an annoyed look as he gently lowered the unconscious girl’s head to the floorboards. He stood again and stepped away as Haven searched the girl for hidden weapons. “She’s not gonna turn into a goat, is she?” he asked.
“I didn’t put tha coshaana on her!” Shortgrass scoffed as he fluttered down to land beside the girl on the floor, “She’s just bewitched.”
“Huh?” Garrett said.
“She’ll be fine!” Shortgrass sighed as he leaned over and lightly tapped the girl’s cheek with his palm. “Wakey wakey,” he cried.
The Astorran girl’s eyes fluttered open, and she gave a confused moan.
“Time ta go fer a walk,” Shortgrass said, “I want ya ta meet a few friends o’ mine.”
The girl gave the fairy a heavy-lidded stare.
“Come along, up ya go!” Shortgrass said as he fluttered up to Garrett’s eye level.
Haven helped the half-conscious girl to her feet, watching curiously as the fairy hovered along, leading the girl from the room.
“You have her?” Haven asked.
“Aye,” Shortgrass answered, “I’ve got her.”
Haven closed the door behind them and turned to face Garrett with a crooked grin.
“You could have told me that you were gonna use me for bait,” Garrett grumbled, taking another sip from the water cup.
“You made yourself the bait the moment we crossed the border, Garrett,” Haven laughed, “and anyway, you were never in any danger.”
“Could’a’ fooled me,” Garrett scoffed as he sat down on the edge of the bed, “Were you that sure she wouldn’t have killed me?”
“Oh, she’d have tried to kill you eventually,” Haven said as she took a seat beside him, “They always work up the nerve to do it in the end.”
Garrett frowned at her.
“But you wouldn’t have let her, would you?” Haven said, “Even if Shortgrass and I weren’t here, she never stood a chance against you, and you know it.”
“Maybe,” Garrett sighed.
“What’s really bothering you?” she asked.
“It’s what she said,” Garrett answered, “I mean she has every right to want to kill me... I killed her master.”
“Her lover too, I’ll bet,” Haven said.
“What?”
“You could tell be the way she talked about him,” Haven said, “It was in her voice... a little quiver in the back of the throat when she spoke... she loved him.”
“Gods,” Garrett groaned, scratching at his wrist morosely, “Now I feel even worse.”
“She’ll feel a lot better once she sees him again,” Haven said.
“What?” Garrett demanded.
“We have to kill her now,” Haven said with a shrug.
“No!” Garrett said, “I’m not gonna kill her over this!”
“You don’t have to!” Haven said, putting her hand on his knee, “I just take her for a little walk in the woods, no questions asked, and problem solved.”
“No! That’s the same as if I killed her myself!” Garrett protested.
“Not really,” Haven said, “I can guarantee you that I won’t feel nearly as bad about it as you would... not at all really.”
“No... you killing for me is the same as me doing it myself,” Garrett said, “and she doesn’t deserve to die for wanting to avenge her... whatever he was to her.”
“You didn’t have a problem killing those horses,” Haven said.
“What horses?”
“The two that the ghouls ate,” Haven said, “My dad picked out two of the injured ones and handed them over to those two white ghouls... I think Diggs wound up helping them finish up. You didn’t want to think about it, so you let Hegrin make the decision for you... Thanks for letting him have the horses, by the way, I really think you impressed him with that.”
“That’s not the same!” Garrett said, shaking his head, “We’re talking about a person here!”
“A human, you mean?”
“Yeah.”
“So, it’s all right to relegate your murder when it’s just a horse,” Haven laughed, “but when it comes to humans, you’ve got much higher standards.”
Garrett stared at her.
“S
o, where do you draw the line, Garrett?” she asked, “I mean, what other kinds of things are we allowed to kill without bothering you about it? Trolls? Goblins? Elves? Ghouls?”
“You know the difference!” Garrett said looking away.
“No, I don’t think I do!” Haven snapped, “Maybe it’s some kinda human thing that my makers didn’t understand well enough to forge into me... some kinda inherent superiority that allows you humans to know who’s worth protecting and who isn’t.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t have given them the horses?” Garrett demanded.
“No, I’m saying that I’m sick of your situational morality Garrett!” Haven said, getting to her feet again to stalk across the bedroom floor, “This girl is just another animal... one that tried to kill you... One that is going to keep trying to kill you until she either succeeds, or you kill her... She’s broken, Garrett, and the longer you draw this out, the more she’s gonna suffer for it... You too.”
“It’s my fault she’s broken!” Garrett shouted, on his feet now as well.
“It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, Garrett!” Haven cried, “Let me put her out of her misery!”
“No!” Garrett yelled, his voice frosting the air between them.
“Why not?”
Garrett stared back at her, shaking. “Because I was broken too,” he answered at last.
Haven sighed and looked away.
“What do you want from me?” Garrett asked, “I’m doing the best I can... I don’t want to wind up like the last Songreaver.”
“I know,” Haven said, “I’m just trying to help you keep it all straight in your head, Garrett. You can’t afford to take shortcuts... You can’t afford to be blinded by the assumptions that other people take for granted.”
“Then you have to understand why I don’t want to kill that girl just for being mad at me,” Garrett said.
“No,” Haven sighed, “I don’t understand, because somebody in your position has to kill people sometimes. You can’t avoid it!”
“Why not?” Garrett demanded, “Who says I can’t find a way to do this without having to kill people?”
“What are you gonna do to Cabre when you find him?” she asked, looking him in the eyes.
Garrett looked away. “I don’t know,” he said quietly.
“Then why are you here?”
Garrett looked at her again, his face set into a grim scowl. “Because I’m like that girl out there,” he said, “I’ve got nowhere else to go... I have to be who I am now, because the life that I would have had got taken away from me by the Chadiri, and maybe now I can do something to keep them from taking other people’s lives away too.”
“What does that have to do with Cabre?” she asked.
Garrett gave her an angry look. “I thought you wanted me to kill all these people?” he shouted, “You keep talking about how we should be more ruthless... how I should use the spikey things on the horses, how I should tell the zombies to kill... What do you want me to be, Haven? I don’t understand!”
“That’s the problem, Garrett!” she cried, “You don’t understand what you’re doing here! You have no idea what your objectives are. You’re just stumbling from one battle to the next, and every time somebody gets hurt, you think it’s your fault, and that you’re turning into a bad guy. You think you can fight a war without getting your hands messy, and, sooner or later, you’re gonna look down at your hands and see all the blood on them, and you’re gonna say, I’m a monster now!
“You’re gonna walk, blindfolded, into the fire, and then I’m gonna lose you! I’m gonna lose you because you won’t see it coming... You think you have this big responsibility to save the world hanging over you, and you’re gonna pour out every last drop of your life into trying to do it... and there won’t be anything left for you in the end... or me.”
Haven stood, trembling, with tears in her eyes as she looked at him.
“Haven...” Garrett whispered.
“You can’t save the world, Garrett,” she said.
Garrett nodded. “I know,” he answered.
Haven sniffed, looking toward the window where the colored lights of drifting wisps illuminated the frosted glass. Garrett took her hands in his and laid his cheek against her ear.
“I love you,” he whispered.
She stepped back to look at him, squeezing his hands gently as she forced a trembling smile. “Let’s run away from it,” she said.
“What?”
“We’ll go south,” she said, “I was talking to Shortgrass about it. There’s a whole forest full of people down there, Garrett, and they need your help.”
Garrett shook his head. “I can’t just...”
“You’re the only one who can help them, Garrett!” Haven said, “They’re fae... like me... and they live in constant fear of the vampires and their allies. You are the only person in the world who can stand up to the vampires and have a chance of defeating them... If you want to talk about responsibility, I think yours is pretty clear.”
“The vampires aren’t our enemies!” Garrett scoffed, “The Chadiri...”
“Max will deal with the Chadiri, Garrett,” she said, “He’s the only one who can! He’s the only one ruthless enough to do what you would have to do to beat that kind of enemy!”
“He’ll kill everybody, Haven! You know he will!” Garrett sighed, pulling away to pace across the room, “Half the people in this country would be zombies by now, if Max were in charge here!”
“Then why isn’t he your enemy?” she asked, her flawless brown eyes flashing with anger.
“Not everybody gets to be my enemy, Haven!” Garrett groaned, waving his hands vaguely, “It’s a very... short list... you gotta sign up ahead of time and stuff.”
Haven snorted with laughter. “Don’t try to turn this into a joke, Garrett,” she said, struggling to keep her frown in place, “I mean it... What happens when Max goes too far? What happens when he becomes the monster you’re so afraid of becoming?”
Garrett waved his arms again. “I dunno,” he said, “I guess Cenick and me’ll hold him down while Uncle Tinjin gives him a spanking.”
Haven grinned and shook her head. “Why are we fighting?” she sighed.
“Are we fighting?” he asked, giving her a twisted smile.
She crossed the floor and tugged at the frilly collar of his captured nightgown. “That’s your problem, Garrett,” she said, biting playfully at his lip, “You can’t make up your mind whether you’re fighting someone or trying to make friends with them.”
“Sorry,” he mumbled as she kissed him.
“Don’t be,” she whispered, “I think that’s why I love you.”
Chapter Fourteen
The Island
Voices.
Marla woke to the sound of voices.
“What is it?” a voice asked.
“It’s called a vampire,” answered the voice of the dragon ghost that Marla had met on the island of ruby hearts.
“A what?” the first voice asked.
Marla blinked, trying to make out her surroundings, but only a featureless field of white light filled her vision.
“A vampire,” the dragon ghost answered, “They’re a kind of dragon-monkey, I believe.”
“How very odd,” the other said, “and you say this is the one that you’ve been waiting for all this time?”
“Yes!” the draconic steward answered, “Isn’t she lovely?”
“If you think so,” the other said, noncommittally.
Marla tried to push herself up from the ground, but she couldn’t move. Her arms and legs simply refused to budge. She felt a little flutter of fear at the thought. Why couldn’t she move? Then a warm delirium washed over her, and she sighed as she slipped back into the soft embrace of sleep again.
“I think it died,” the other voice said.
“No, no, no!” the dragon ghost chided, “Marla, wake up!”
“What?” Marla demanded in annoyance, as
she came to her senses again, “Why can’t I move?”
“Oh, well,” the dragon ghost said, hesitantly, “You see, actually...”
“Mother’s coming,” the other voice said with a little tremor of fear in her words.
“Oh, good!” the dragon ghost exclaimed, “I’ll go and sort things out with her... I’ll be right back!”
“What am I supposed to do about your dragon-monkey?” the other voice demanded.
“Just keep talking to her!” the ghost’s voice sounded farther away now, “Don’t allow her to die before I return!”
“How am I supposed to...” the other voice shouted, her words trailing off into a vexed whisper, “I don’t know anything about dragon-monkeys!”
“Where am I?” Marla sighed.
“You are in the City of Uroe,” the voice answered.
“Uroe was destroyed,” Marla sighed, “It is no more.”
“Well, aren’t you a clever little monkey then,” the voice chuckled, “I suppose that I don’t exist either.”
“Who are you?” Marla asked, trying to move again to no avail. It felt as though she was lying face-down on a slab of cool, polished marble with her arms and legs outstretched.
“My name is Veregoth,” the voice answered pleasantly.
“Are you a dragon as well?” Marla asked.
“Oh, yes!” the voice answered, “We are all dragons here.”
“I welcome your presence, Veregoth,” Marla sighed.
“Yes... well, thank you,” the voice answered.
“Am I to meet the Queen?” Marla asked.
“Yes, it seems that way,” Veregoth said with a little edge to her voice.
“I wish I could see her,” Marla said, blinking again at the featureless whiteness that filled her eyes.
“Oh, well, yes...” Veregoth said. She raised her voice again as she called out, “Merithia! I think something’s wrong with your monkey!”
“Merithia?” Marla said, “Is that the name of your friend?”
“Yes,” Veregoth answered, “she’s my sister... born of the same clutch... Do dragon-monkeys come from eggs as well?”
“I’m not a monkey,” Marla said, “I’m part human and part dragon.”
Trials of the Twiceborn (The Songreaver's Tale Book 6) Page 18