Riding with Brighton

by Haven Francis

  “Fuck, that feels good,” he groans.

  “You’re so damn sexy.”

  “This is sexy… watching you.”

  I totally agree. I move my hand off him long enough to lick my palm and fingers. When I start rubbing him again it goes much smoother, and I can tell, by the sound of his moans and grunts, that he’s having a hard time holding his shit together.

  I could do this all day, but I don’t blame him when, just a few minutes into the hand job, he says, “Shit, Brighton, I’m gonna come.” I just pull his T-shirt up to his chest and jerk him harder until his body goes stiff before he does as promised and comes all over his bare stomach.

  When he’s done, he collapses onto my arm and closes his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. I kiss him on the corner of his mouth and he smiles. “Holy shit,” he whispers.

  I’m still admiring the view when I hear the telling creak at the top of the steps. “Shit,” I mutter, sitting up and practically pushing Jay on the ground. He sits up and pulls his shirt down.

  “Dammit,” he mumbles, probably because he’s covered in his come as someone from my family comes down the stairs. I shift the blanket so it’s on top of his chest and kick my legs up on the coffee table, dropping an arm over his shoulders. I’m not an idiot; if my parents came down here and we were on opposite sides of the couch, they would definitely know something was up.

  But when the perpetrators, because yes, there are three of them, come down the stairs, it’s not my parents but my best friends: Molly, Nico, and Shaw. “What the hell are you doing, asshole? We’ve been trying to get ahold of you all day,” Nico says, smiling easily. All three of them plop down—Molly and Shaw on the love seat and Nico right next to me. None of them are acting surprised by Jay’s presence—I’m guessing Mom tipped them off—but Jay stiffens under my arm.

  Normally, this would be the time I would panic—straight-to-the-world Jay just got busted on my couch with my arm wrapped around him. But all I can think about is the fact that he’s sitting here, covered in his own jizz, and I start laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Molly asks, and I try really hard to stop, but it just makes it worse. And then I hear Jay laughing too, and my friends are looking at us like we’re lunatics.

  I look at Jay, and he looks a little stunned, but he also looks pretty damn happy. “Jesus,” he mutters, shaking his head at me.

  All I can do is raise my eyebrows at him and smile.

  “So what the hell’s going on here? Did you seduce the poor kid?” Nico asks.

  I’m about to tell him to mind his own business when Jay says, “He totally seduced me… then took advantage of me.”

  “What an asshole,” Nico says, slapping my arm and laughing.

  “Is there any way you guys can give us a minute?” Jay asks.

  “Sure,” Molly says suspiciously before standing. “Come on, boys.”

  When the three of them are all safely stashed in my room, Jay sits up and laughs again before saying, “I’m a total mess, asshole.”

  “That’s the thanks I get for getting you off?”

  “I was really looking forward to thanking you for getting me off before your friends showed up. Fuck,” he says, looking down. “At least it’s your shirt that got ruined and not mine.”

  “I liked that one too. Especially when it was on you. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” I pull him up and lead him down the hall.

  “You mind if I take a quick shower?” he asks when we’re in the bathroom, and I’m a little surprised by how comfortable he is here with me. How comfortable he seems to be with all of this.

  “Go for it.”

  “Thanks.” He strips off the dirty shirt, and I can’t help but run my eyes over his naked torso. The kid really is built to perfection. My body is toned, but in order to get a body that tight and defined, you gotta work on it. I’m staring at the gorgeous V the lines of his pelvis make before dropping off into his jeans. I’m thinking I really want to bite it, when Jay clears his throat.

  I give him an innocent smirk. “Towels are in the cabinet. I’ll leave you a shirt on the counter.”

  “Thanks,” he says, unbuttoning his jeans.

  I turn around before I get sucked back into the visual of him and leave the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

  When I head into my room, Shaw and Molly are lying on my bed. He’s got an arm wrapped around her, and she’s resting on his chest. I love the two of them, but their perfect relationship always made me a little bit envious. When I told Jay that I had seen all stages of true love, I was thinking of them. I watched them fall in love and, really, it was a beautiful thing. They’re the kind of couple I want to be part of. They respect each other and they’re passionate about each other. They’re best friends and together, they’re better than they are apart. They, along with Nico, who’s sifting through my music, all stare at me expectantly.

  I can’t keep the goofy smile off my face.

  “I told you,” Nico says, turning to Molly and Shaw. “He’s totally into him.”

  Molly sits up. “But it’s Jay Hall. I mean, let’s just forget about the fact that he’s straight for a second and think about it. What the hell could you possibly see in Jay Hall?”

  I shrug and go to my drawers, pulling out a shirt for Jay. “He’s not who you think he is.”

  “Oh, bullshit,” Molly starts in, but I don’t hear her rant as I leave the bedroom to deliver Jay his shirt.

  Very purposefully, I keep my eyes away from the shower and set the shirt on the counter and then leave.

  When I walk back in my room, Shaw’s telling Molly, “He’s always seemed cool to me and how can you judge him? It’s not like you’ve ever talked to him.”

  “He’s the most popular kid at our school and the only way to get there is to climb… while stomping on everyone else as you go.”

  “Or by being good-looking, athletic, and nice,” Shaw tells her calmly.

  I join Nico and start pulling out any of my new music that I think he’ll like. He absently chuckles at the conversation taking place behind us.

  “He dated Collette Kennedy. You have to be a total idiot to date that bitch. I mean, come on. You know how this is gonna go down, right, Brighton? It’s going to be Matt Connors all over again.”

  Matt’s one of the closeted assholes who used my services for a day before turning all barbaric on me. I only told them about him because he moved a few months later. I’m not an asshole. The other three guys who have come to me don’t need to get so paranoid and defensive—it’s not my job to out anyone.

  “Did he seem like he was trying to deny what was going on with Brighton when we basically caught them postsex?”

  “We didn’t have sex,” I interject.

  “Fine,” Shaw says. “Heavy petting or whatever was going on.”

  “Heavy petting? What is this, 1950s sex ed?” Nico laughs.

  “The point is… it was pretty clear that he wasn’t embarrassed about being with Brighton.”

  I hear the shower turn off, and I don’t want Jay walking into this discussion. So I turn around and tell Molly, “Can you please give the kid a break? He’s had an extremely long day, he’s got a lot of shit going on, and I’m serious—he’s not who you think he is.”

  “Is he even gay?” she mutters.

  “Yes, he’s gay. And he’s not ashamed. But this is literally his first day coming out, so don’t be a bitch to him.”

  She sighs. “Do you like him?”

  “Yeah, I do. A lot. So if you can’t be nice to him, then you gotta go.”

  “Fine,” she mutters. “I’ll give him a chance. For you.”

  “Thank you,” I tell her with a smartass grin.

  Chapter Nine

  Jay

  I ONLY had a minor freak-out when I was in the shower. It was quickly replaced by the memory of Brighton jerking me off. I’ve never seen anything like that. When I’m making out with girls, I have to close my eyes and come up with vis
ualizations to get me off so I’m obviously not staring at their hand. I’ve imagined Brighton’s hands on me plenty of times, but I just saw it. That shit really just happened. And trust me when I say that there is a world of difference when you have your own equipment to practice on when it comes to giving hand jobs.

  I really don’t even care that his friends busted us. I mean, the whole covered-in-my-come thing was awkward, but other than that, it almost felt good to be seen with him. To know I was okay with it. And that someone knew, at least in some way, Brighton belongs to me.

  I pull the shirt Brighton gave me on, and only when I look in the mirror do I realize it says Equality Rocks. I’ve seen him in this shirt before, so I know the back has a mash-up of musical instruments on it. I smile at the image of myself.

  If he had given me this shirt this morning, I probably would have imagined the entire baseball team seeing me in it, had a mini panic attack, then handed it back to him telling him I didn’t look good in black or something equally stupid. How ridiculous is that? I mean, it’s equality for Christ’s sakes. But now… I’m okay with it. In fact, it’s making me smile. Even if he had given me his “I think he’s gay” shirt with the arrow that points up, I think I would still be smiling. I mean, I don’t know if I could pull that shit off at school like he does, but I’m okay.

  I’m becoming okay with who I am.

  I run my fingers through my hair and head out of the bathroom. The family room’s empty, so I head to Brighton’s room and all eyes are instantly on me. But I can’t seem to look at anyone but Brighton who’s at the Wall of Wonders, looking through his music with Nico.

  “Oh shit,” he says, laughing. “I didn’t mean to force you into the gay rights movement. That wasn’t supposed to happen until tomorrow.”

  I shrug at him. “I was kind of hoping for the ‘Gay, Yay!’ one, but equality’s cool.”

  The guys laugh, but I can feel Molly’s icy gaze all over me. All of Brighton’s friends are generally super cool, but not her. She works damn hard to make sure she’s anything but cool. She hates me based solely on the fact that I’m popular. I used to try talking to her last year when she sat next to me in English but gave up pretty quickly when she started insisting that I was literally the devil.

  “You know Nico, Shaw, and Molly?” Brighton asks.

  “Yeah. Molly and I became pretty close last year in English class.”

  “Seriously?” Nico asks me.

  “Hell no.” I laugh and then smile at her. “I tried, but apparently she thinks I’m the devil himself, so I guess I can’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to be friends with the devil either.”

  Again, the guys laugh, but she just gives me one of her sneers. I ignore it and go kick back on Brighton’s bed with her and Shaw. I pretend not to notice when she practically lays her body on him just to get away from me.

  Brighton puts a CD in and then jumps in the middle of his bed, Superman style, between me and Molly. He lies there on his stomach, resting a hand on my leg. I run my fingers through his hair and smile down at him as he stares at me. Some trippy, melodic, instrumental, humming sounds start up and I feel my eyebrows pinch together. Brighton rolls his eyes and says, “Nico. He stays true to his Japanese roots even though his parents are the whitest white folks you’ll ever meet. Did you know his real name is Nicholas? He overcompensates—he doesn’t actually like this shit.”

  “Shut up, Brighton. Do I need to go all judo on your ass?” Nico says.

  “See?” Brighton says to me.

  Nico jumps on the bed, his hand thwacking off Brighton’s head.

  “Ouch, asshole.” He laughs. “That’s what I get for buying this crap for you?”

  “Move over” is all he says.

  “I’m comfortable,” Brighton whines.

  “Come on, snuggle your boyfriend up. I need some room.”

  Brighton flips on his back, resting half of his body on mine so Nico has room. He starts absently playing with my fingers but says, “Jay’s not my boyfriend. Don’t start up that rumor.”

  I’m guessing he’s saying it for the reason he gave—for my sake, he doesn’t want any rumors starting. But the words still sing reejectiion in a full-bodied, operatic voice.

  “Thank God. It’s bad enough being the third wheel with these two,” Nico says, obviously referring to Molly and Shaw. “You’re the only single friend I got left.”

  “Hopefully that won’t be true for long,” I think, and oh shit, actually say.

  “Ah hell,” Nico whines.

  Brighton cranes his head to look at me but doesn’t say anything.

  “Oh please,” Molly says. “Like that’s gonna happen. I mean, really, Jay Hall, you’re gonna walk through school with Brighton on your arm?”

  That thought makes my body turn cold, but I try, really hard, not to show any signs that Brighton could pick up on. “Probably not. Like he said, I’m not his boyfriend.”

  “But you want to be?” she asks with a disbelieving laugh.

  “This isn’t a discussion you have any business being part of,” Brighton practically scolds her.

  She’s staring at me and shaking her head like she’s never hated anything more and she thinks I’m the poison that Brighton is stupidly taking. And God, do I want to prove her wrong. “Just for the record, yeah, that’s what I want.” I say the words with all the conviction in the world because she’s turning me defensive and because that really is what I want. But I’m not stupid. I just said that out loud, and now if I don’t follow through, I’m gonna be the closeted asshole. And I’m scared shitless.

  “Don’t get into it with her,” Brighton tells me. “She’ll get you to say things you’re gonna regret.”

  “She’s a master manipulator,” Nico concurs.

  “She’s just looking out for him,” Shaw says, defending her.

  “You guys know I’m always right,” she says confidently.

  And no one contests that.

  Shit. She’s not right about me. At this particular moment, I’m sure of it. And then Nico says to Brighton, “You’re still playing with us at Jones’s party tonight, right?”

  Oh God. My coming out party might happen before I’m ready for it.

  Cowering again, in the deepest, darkest corner of my mind, arms wrapped over my head, praying that fallout shelter will show up sooner rather than later. Or that straight kid will find his way back to Brighton’s house.

  Shit, no. Praying that he’s lost, far far away in the woods, and he tripped and fucked up his leg and there’s no way he’ll make it back here in time because, dammit, Molly’s wrong about me.

  “I KNOW what’s going through your head,” Brighton says as we sit in the back of Nico’s conversion van. “Don’t do anything stupid because of her. What she thinks about you doesn’t matter. Her opinion isn’t going to change the way I feel about you.”

  “I’m not gonna do anything stupid. And even if I do, it’s not because of her.” I try really hard to sound convincing. If I’m seriously doing this right now, taking whatever’s going on between Brighton and me public, it must be for her because I’m sure as hell not ready for it.

  “I’m sorry about this. I can’t believe I totally spaced it.”

  Brighton fought with his friends for a good twenty minutes, trying to get out of the commitment he made to fill in for their other friend, Ramey, as the lead guitarist for their gig at Jones’s party tonight. Which I had, obviously, forgotten about also. Brighton ultimately cracked because Shaw is desperately trying to save enough money so that he can go to NYU with Molly in the fall.

  I don’t blame him. I was totally cheering for Shaw. He was the only one on Brighton’s side, insisting he could get the cut of the cover that Jones is paying them to gig at his party another way.

  I never understood why he was dating Molly. I mean, he’s seriously like the most diplomatic, genuinely nice, selfless person who ever existed. And she’s… not. But from hanging out with them for the last few hours, I
can see why it works. They balance each other out.

  “Seriously, Brighton, it’s no big deal. It’ll be fun and besides that, I really want to see you play your guitar.”

  “Seriously, Jay, I won’t be offended if you pretend like you don’t know me. I can’t imagine how stressful this is for you.”

  “I mean, I might not be willing to make out with you in front of everyone, but please don’t act like we don’t know each other. That would fucking suck.” I’m trying to make him laugh, but I think he’s more stressed out for me, and pissed off at Molly, than I am. All he does is let out an unamused grunt.

  When we get to Jones’s house, I help them unload their gear and bring it into his basement, which I’ve spent hours in. Jones is one of the few people I hang out with who doesn’t live in Folsom Hills. But he’s always been popular because, despite his economic deficiency, he’s got everything else going for him. If all my friends turn their backs on me after I go public, he’s one of the few guys I’ll actually miss.

  His easygoing attitude that he’s showing all of us right now is one of the reasons.

  “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asks Brighton after all the equipment is set up.

  “Sure,” Brighton tells him.

  “You too, Jay.” He clamps a hand on my shoulder. “I just wanted to apologize for the stupid shit Mack and I were saying about Josie today at the restaurant. I feel like a total asshole. I mean, it’s not the first time my brain’s turned to mush over a hot girl, but she didn’t deserve to be talked about like that. No girl does. And I know she’s your friend, so if you could, let her know I’m sorry.”

  “No worries,” Brighton tells him. “I don’t blame you—she is beautiful. But you might want to talk to your friend. That kid can be a real prick.”

  “Trust me—we had words. I don’t even know if he’s gonna show up here tonight and, honestly, I hope he doesn’t.” He shakes his head. “You guys want a beer?”