“She okay?” Savannah asked, as Micki softly shut the door behind her. Savannah had turned off the light, leaving Micki to feel her way toward the bed.
“Yeah, she’s fine. Just heard some noise outside. I checked, everything’s fine.”
“Good,” she heard Savannah murmur from her pillow.
“Should we, maybe, talk about this?”
Micki could almost feel Savannah collapse into the mattress.
“Now?”
“Well, I don’t know. Yes?”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“What are we doing?” Micki asked, sitting on the foot of the bed.
“I thought that was rather obvious.”
“I’m serious.”
Savannah sighed. “I know.”
“I just don’t want you to regret anything.”
“Micki, I’m forty years old, for God’s sake. I’d like to think I know what I’m doing. I may not always make the wisest decisions, but when it comes to my heart, I generally err on the side of caution.”
“So, your heart is involved here?”
Savannah sat up, though Micki couldn’t see her in the darkness. “Yours isn’t?”
The push and pull, it was always like that. Micki wondered why neither of them could just take the bull by the horns and be honest without needing confirmation that they wouldn’t be made the fool. Their walls were evident. Sad. Strong. She jumped in.
“It is. You scare me.”
“You scare me, too.” Savannah’s voice cracked.
“You make me feel things,” Micki said, her voice gravel. “Things I’m pretty sure I’ve never felt before. I know how that sounds. It’s stupid and childish, and you’re probably rolling your eyes at me. I get it. But I can’t do this and have you think it’s meaningless. It’s not.”
Savannah reached out, pulling Micki toward her. Micki crawled up toward the headboard and slid in next to Savannah. Savannah whispered, “I don’t think you’re stupid. Or childish. Because if you are, then so am I. I don’t give myself easily. I have to guard myself because if I don’t, and I let someone in, I’m giving them permission to hurt me. I’ve never truly given anyone that opening. Not really, anyway. And I wasn’t sure that I ever would. Yet here I am.” She skated her fingers up Micki’s forearm, sending a chill through both of them.
Micki slid toward her, placing a hand on Savannah’s side. She was immediately met with warm skin; no silky material stood in her way. “Um,” she rasped, swallowing hard.
Savannah inhaled, the breaks in her breath signaling both nervousness and anticipation.
“I want you so fucking much,” Micki said, her voice a full octave lower than usual. She pressed firmly on Savannah’s side, prompting her to turn over.
She did, slowly, tantalizing. “Have me.”
Micki’s breathing shallowed. The only word she could squeak out, in a whisper, was a surprised “Oh.”
Savannah smiled, pulling her down on top of her. Micki found her mouth again, wasting no time before immersing deeply, discovering each other anew. Savannah slipped her hands beneath the hem of Micki’s tank top, where she tugged sharply, bringing the shirt over Micki’s head. She threw it to the floor. She raked her eyes over Micki’s upper body, naked and vulnerable. “You’re stunning.”
The answer to Micki’s unasked question was all the invitation she needed, flattening herself against Savannah, their breasts touching in all the right places. Savannah moaned, scratching manicured fingernails up the length of Micki’s back. Micki hissed in response, pleasure mixed with pain.
“I need more,” Savannah whispered. She used the sides of her feet to shove Micki’s pajama pants down to her ankles, Micki groaning in approval. Savannah pushed at Micki’s arm, a silent plea for her to switch their positions, to turn onto her back. Micki understood and slowly broke their contact, her golden waves spilling down the front of her bare chest. Savannah pulled herself up onto her knees, placing her fingers in the hem of Micki’s high-cut underwear.
Micki obliged, raising her hips just enough so Savannah could make quick work of them, tossing them into the growing pile of clothing at the side of her bed.
Savannah gripped the tops of Micki’s thighs. She bent down slowly, placing a soft kiss at the top of Micki’s sex. Micki gripped the headboard, everything inside her a contortion of want, of need. Micki sensed Savannah was torn between teasing her and giving in to her obvious necessity of release, and Micki was relieved when she chose the latter. Micki quickly found religion and grasped Savannah’s hair, burying her fingers in that perfect shade of chestnut. Savannah licked and teased, gripping tightly onto Micki’s thighs. Micki could feel her muscles begin to tighten and tremble and that was when Savannah began to use her tongue in earnest. She concentrated exactly where she knew Micki needed her, and before long, Micki’s entire body stiffened with anticipation.
“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” Micki groaned, clutching Savannah’s hair one last time before she felt her body give in, give out, give up. The intensity washed over her in waves, ripples of pleasure coursing through her body like unbridled energy. After what seemed like an eternity, Micki felt herself go limp, her body rocking with the aftershocks.
Savannah climbed up the length of her body, her lips glistening, a light smile. Micki had never seen anything so beautiful and was certain she never would again. She pulled Savannah up on top of her, clumsy, Savannah falling onto her in a powerful heap. Micki didn’t care. She smiled at the sight in front of her and pulled Savannah by the neck to meet her lips once again.
“I don’t even…I can’t believe…that was the most…” Micki broke off in an easy laugh, her mind completely unable to produce coherent sentences. She pulled Savannah tightly to her, kissing the top of her head, letting everything flow out of her like a waterfall. It was easy to confuse sex with love. And come on, she wasn’t in love with someone she’d barely tolerated just weeks ago. She liked Savannah now, yes. Lusted after her, definitely. Love was something totally out there, elusive and ridiculous. But that stupid warmth in Micki’s chest signaled something different. Something unfamiliar and frightening.
Before she was lost in the anxiety of analytics, she flipped their positions once again so she was on top of Savannah. She raised her eyebrow seductively, eliciting a smile and an affectionate crinkle of her nose. Micki kissed Savannah’s neck, her jawline, her collarbone. She thought she might be happy to spend the entire night focused on those three areas, kissing, sucking, biting, her body reacting forcefully even though she had just experienced a powerful release. Then again, maybe not.
Micki found her way to one flawless breast, engulfing Savannah with her lips and tongue. She let her teeth scrape lightly across the hardened peak and Savannah’s muffled cry goaded her. Micki kept her position steady but slid her hand down to Savannah’s center, her fingers easily gliding through the wetness and then inside her.
Savannah bucked slightly, lifting her hips to allow Micki easier access. Encouraged by Savannah’s actions, Micki slid a second finger inside, thrusting in a relentless rhythm. Savannah’s hands were twisted around the sheets, pulling and knotting as her body writhed. Micki slowed her movement, her thumb running languidly through the velvet to find her sensitive arousal. She began to move in circles, Savannah hardening with every soft swipe.
Micki let go of her breast, pushing herself up to Savannah’s mouth again. She moved her thumb just a little bit faster and thrust just a little bit deeper as Savannah moaned into her mouth, elevating Micki to some existential plane she didn’t even know existed. Savannah brought her legs up, wrapping them around Micki’s waist. Micki let out an audible curse as Savannah’s reception to her increased tenfold.
Savannah pulled Micki’s head down to hers, smashing their lips together in a fury of heat and tongues, wet lips and loud gasps, and it was perfect. Micki could feel Savannah begin to fall as she clutched Micki’s neck with tremendous force. She let go, moaning loudly, Micki’s mouth sti
ll devouring her as she came with such fervor Micki thought she might black out. When her body finally began to relax, Micki let her down gently, caressing her softly as she lay next to her.
They were both silent for a few moments, basking in the afterglow of perfection that still hung like a blanket in the room.
“So, that just happened,” Micki whispered, her voice hoarse and spent.
Savannah chuckled, covering her eyes with one hand. “Yes. Yes, it did.”
“And it was magnificent. You are magnificent. What made us wait all this time? Think of the lost years we’ve wasted,” Micki said, laughing at the bite she felt on her shoulder.
“We hated each other, remember?”
“Hate is a strong word.”
“So is determination.”
“Well,” Micki said, climbing back on top of her, placing soft kisses along Savannah’s neck, relishing the quickening pulse she could feel. “I’m glad we’ve come to our senses. When did you realize that I wasn’t totally hideous and that you were kinda into me?” She kept kissing Savannah’s neck, shoulder, down her arm.
“I never thought you were hideous; I’m not blind. The first day I saw you at town hall, I thought about all of the filthy things I could do to you. And then certain things happened, and I…that feels so good…didn’t go that route.”
Clearly it wasn’t the time to discuss their differences in town politics, though Micki wanted to chastise her for carrying a grudge for so long. Instead, she said, “I can’t believe you remember that day. It’s like our anniversary.”
At that, Savannah chuckled and threw her arms around Micki, pulling her close once again.
Chapter Nineteen
Daylight bounced in orange hues off Micki’s eyelids. She refused to acknowledge that the night was over. And then she thrust her eyes open, glancing around the room as if she was in a drunken haze. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand beside her and gasped in horror as she read seven thirty.
“Savannah!” she shout-whispered, nudging her softly at first, then escalating to a vigorous shake.
“Mmm,” Savannah whined, shifting her position. “Come back to bed.”
“It’s seven thirty! Wake up!”
Savannah shot up like a bullet. “What! Where’s Eliana?” she asked, forgetting all modesty. The top of her breast poked out above the sheet, unnoticed.
Micki, on the other hand, stared unabashedly, her mouth beginning to salivate. Parts of her were beginning to tingle, and she was dangerously close to jumping back into the bed. She shook her head forcefully to bring herself back to the present. “Did she come in here, see us in bed together, naked, and run away screaming?” Micki quickly threw her tank top and pajama pants back on, kicking her underwear beneath the bed.
“Go check on her!” she ordered, fighting with her nightshirt.
“Okay,” Micki said, heading for the door. She turned around, made a beeline back to the bed, and leaned down to kiss Savannah fully on the mouth. Savannah was taken by surprise but smiled as Micki pulled away.
“I could get used to that,” she flirted, stretching seductively. “No, stop it, go!”
Micki smiled back at her and rushed out of the room. She poked her head into Eliana’s room, but her bed was made, and her blinds were open.
“Oh God,” Micki muttered. Shame flooded her. She would be mortified if Savannah’s daughter had walked in on them. Mortified.
“Hey,” Eliana said when Micki walked into the living room. She had a mouthful of Fruity Flecks and a cartoon on the television. She didn’t look up when Micki said good morning.
“Does your mom let you eat in front of the TV?” she asked, trying to feel out the situation. Was Eliana avoiding her eyes because she had seen things?
“No, never,” Eliana answered. She still didn’t look up, focusing instead on the frogs on the TV.
“How come you didn’t wake one of us up?”
“I went into your room first, but you weren’t there. I saw Mom’s door was closed, so maybe you fell asleep in there again. Maybe Mom was scared or something.” She shrugged.
Relief washed over Micki like a tidal wave. “That was it. I totally fell asleep while we were in the middle of talking. My neck hurts from sleeping at the foot of the bed all night. Yikes.” She creaked her head back and forth, rubbing enthusiastically at the muscles of her neck. She wondered if she was maybe laying it on a little thick, but whatever. It seemed as if they were in the clear.
Eliana just nodded and went back to her cereal. Micki heard the shower turn on upstairs and backed up slowly toward the staircase. “I’m gonna go throw some clothes on, and I’ll take you to school again this morning, okay?”
“Sure,” she responded, still engrossed in her show.
“Good. Right,” Micki said to no one and bounded up the stairs to Savannah’s room. She shut the bedroom door softly and opened the bathroom door. Savannah’s silhouette behind the shower curtain caused Micki’s body to stir. She rolled her eyes at her own predictability.
She shed her clothing and pulled back the curtain, stepping in behind Savannah. Savannah gasped but immediately groaned at the feel of Micki’s wet skin against her back. Micki let her hands roam over Savannah’s sides, up her stomach, and over her chest. She kissed the back of Savannah’s neck while her hands explored.
“Oh, Micki,” Savannah said. “I want you. I really want you.” Micki’s grip tightened, her fingers kneading in desperation. “But you have to get out,” Savannah said sharply, removing Micki’s hands from her chest.
“What?” Micki asked, crestfallen. It came out as more of a whine than she meant.
“If I wasn’t so turned on, I’d laugh at that. We have about fifteen minutes before Eliana needs to be at school. As quick as I’m sure we’d both be, there isn’t enough time to get ready and get her there on time. Now get out.” She put her hand on her hip and cocked her eyebrow. Micki was astonished at how Savannah could maintain an air of authority while naked and dripping wet. She grumbled about everything being totally unfair before she grabbed a towel from the sink and began to dry off.
With three minutes to spare, Micki walked out with Eliana toward the cruiser. “Mom never lets me ride in front,” Eliana said. She shoved her backpack down on the floor and buckled her seat belt with a smile.
Micki smiled back and patted Eliana’s knee. “If my back seat wasn’t walled in with Plexiglas, I’d stick you back there, too. Your friends are going to think you spent the night in jail, huh?” Micki winked at her and fired up the engine.
Eliana rolled her eyes but giggled anyway. “You’re such a dork.”
As Micki was pulling out of the driveway, a large white van pulled in beside her.
“SafetyVision,” the large man grunted at her open window. His face was mostly covered by the visor, which he had down against his window. “Here to install some cameras?”
“Great. Ms. Castillo is inside; she can direct you. Oh, make sure you ring the doorbell.” Micki lifted her hand in a half wave and flipped on the radio, grateful for some happiness among the chaos.
* * *
Micki leaned against her car with her aviators on and watched Eliana walk into school. She wanted Eliana to have the full effect of being dropped off at school by the chief of police. The ripped jeans and UNH sweatshirt probably detracted from her authority a little, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.
That flurry of emotion invaded her again. She saw Eliana shoot her a quick wave before disappearing within the walls of the school. It was all very domestic, bringing her to school, having dinner with them, sleeping with Savannah. If it wasn’t happening to her, she wouldn’t have believed it. The most frightening part about it was how comfortable Micki felt.
She got back in her car and decided to head over to the Early Bird for a coffee and Danish. The jellied raspberry was calling her name. She was about to pull into a parking spot when a thought occurred to her, and panic flooded her system.
“Oh my G
od,” she said aloud, peeling out onto Main St. “What the fuck was I thinking?”
The van. The nondescript white van with no back windows and a rusted bumper. It could be anyone; it could be him; it could be someone hiding in the back with a ski mask and a crowbar.
She tried to remember his face. Nothing. She only saw the lower half, his mouth and jaw, and there was nothing memorable about either. Micki’s heart was pounding. How could she have been so stupid?
She flew down Kensington Road, her stomach in knots, and her throat nearly closed. She parked behind the van, thankful it was still sitting in the driveway, and pulled her gun from the glove compartment. She ran to the front door, leaving her driver side door wide open behind her.
The door was cracked open. There wasn’t a sound coming from inside the house, so she drew her gun carefully and used her foot to nudge the door the rest of the way.
Silently, she moved through the foyer and into the kitchen. Nothing. She turned the corner toward the back door, a grunt finally breaking the silence. The man from the van was pulling out some sort of weapon from his plain black duffel bag.
“Drop it!” Micki yelled, her hand steady as she pointed her gun in his direction.
The man visibly jumped, letting his drill drop to the ground with a resounding crash. “Christ, lady, I have a work order!” he yelled at her. He placed both hands high above his head in submission.
“Savannah!” Micki yelled, not adjusting her aim.
“Micki?” Savannah asked, as she walked into the house from her backyard through the porch door. “What’s going on?”
Secrets in a Small Town Page 13