The Gray Institute_Rebels' Hell

by Leanne Pearson

  I'm thrown back to my very first meeting with Malachy – if you don't count the hazy few minutes after I was transformed – during which he told me to run along. Afterwards, on the night I had first witnessed his bizarre split-personality, he had apologised to me, telling me he'd been having a bad day. The memory is bittersweet. 'Do you want to talk about it?' I ask carefully, wondering exactly how far we've come since then. Though Malachy is usually calm and level-headed, when he loses his temper, things can quickly escalate.

  'Not really.' He gives me a half-shrug, avoiding my gaze.

  'Right,' I nod slowly. I wait a few moments for him to change his mind, to elaborate, to speak, but he doesn't. 'Well, I may as well go back then. It's obvious you're preoccupied.' I stride towards the door, trying to ignore my shaking legs, and awkwardly step around him, but he places a hand gently on my forearm, barely applying pressure, and I stop. He still won't meet my eyes, but his features have softened and he looks slightly regretful.

  'I – ' He hesitates, taking his hand away. 'I'm just feeling a little under pressure at the moment. My father – ' He lifts his head to gaze across the room, his thoughts elsewhere.

  'Your father?' I prompt him, feeling the tug of anxiety. Malachy's eyes finally snap to meet mine, and I sigh with relief; he looks like himself again.

  'He's pressuring me,' He replies in his normal voice. 'More than ever before. He wants me to tell him everything I know about you, every word you said. He wants to know where you are, and where the Rebels are. He wants me by his side to learn how to quash an uprising, but he also wants me here to interrogate more students. It's – ' He shakes his head, exhaling loudly. 'It's exhausting.'

  'He doesn't – ' I try to swallow the dry lump in my throat. 'He doesn't suspect you, does he? I mean, why would he be asking you where the Rebels are?'

  'I don't think he suspects me of being involved, he's just pressuring anyone and everyone into giving him answers. Some of the staff at Mount Kamen have given him false information because he pushed them so hard to talk. There's no need to guess where they are now.' He looks grim, his mouth twisting.

  'You haven't – '

  'I've told him nothing. I've given him a few vague ideas about where I think the Rebels may be, what they might be planning. It's far from the truth, I promise you. But – ' He hesitates again, his gaze flickering away.

  'What?' I squeak. 'What is it?'

  'It's nothing,' He shakes his head quickly. 'It's nothing to worry about. It's not even worth telling you, really. I just think he may suspect that I was a little closer to you than I let on.'

  'What makes you think that?' Icy panic courses through my veins. If Sirus finds out that Malachy was involved with me, it could mean all kinds of repercussions for him.

  'He's just been pushing me harder on that than anything else. He finds it difficult to believe I spent so much time with you yet I didn't suspect for a moment you might have been serious about your escape. Plus, Meredith Draper didn't help – '

  'Meredith?' I frown. 'What's she got to do with anything?'

  'Oh,' Malachy's pupils widen. He looks suddenly panic-stricken. 'Of course, you don't know.'

  'Don't know what?'

  'Meredith told my father what she witnessed, you know, that night in the fourth floor corridor? I think it was at Sir Alec's insistence. He must've overheard her telling someone else and demanded that she tell my father. She was actually flown out to Mount Kamen to tell him in person.'

  'And what happened?' My voice is slowly creeping up in both pitch and volume as I struggle to get a grip on my terror.

  'Nothing, she – ' He shifts uncomfortably. 'My father didn't believe her. He asked me and I denied it, so did Lucrezia – ' I raise my eyebrows in surprise, I can't help it. Lucrezia knew about Malachy and I all along; the only reason she hadn't let on was because she wanted me to get myself Confined. Now that I haven't been, why wouldn't she tell Sirus about us? It would certainly put her in Sirus' favour. She might even be handed the throne. 'So that was it.' Malachy shrugs. I get the impression he's hiding something from me, but I'm too nervous to outright ask him as I normally would.

  'That was it?' I frown. 'Sirus just let it go?'

  'Yes,' He nods. 'He let it go.'

  'But Meredith, she knows the truth. And Sir Alec must have believed her to send her all the way to Sirus himself. Why didn't Meredith – '

  'Meredith was Confined, Eve,' He cuts me off. 'She – she was Confined for speaking out against me. For speaking the truth.' He can't meet my eyes as he says it, and his voice is racked with guilt. I suddenly understand why Malachy couldn't bring himself to act normal around me, even for just a short while. Not only does he have the pressure of his father bearing down on him, he has this to live with; the knowledge that he sent an innocent person to the Confine in order to save himself. After what happened to Aleks, it's the last thing he'd ever want to do.

  'Oh, Malachy,' All of my distance from him, my anxiety for him, melts away, replaced by an overwhelming, crushing sympathy. I step forward, gently placing my arms around his neck, and pull him into me. He doesn't resist, letting me take some of his weight, and holds me tight. 'That must have been awful for you.' He snorts with laughter unexpectedly, the sound muffled against my shoulder. 'What's funny?' I frown.

  'You,' He laughs, for real this time. 'Meredith gets sent to the Confine for something she didn't do and you think it was awful for me.'

  'Well, you know what I mean,' I roll my eyes. 'After what happened to Aleks – '

  'It's the hardest thing I've ever done,' He interrupts, his tone serious now. 'Including spending the last three years lying to my father, pretending to like my sister, and constantly thinking about her trapped in the Confine,' He means Aleks; he never says her name. 'I never meant to – ' His voice cracks and I pull him even closer, crushing him with my hold. 'I didn't know what to do. If I admitted to being involved with you – '

  'You don't have to explain yourself to me,' I reply, smoothing back his hair like my mother used to do for me. 'I understand. You did what you had to. And hopefully Meredith will be freed soon, with Aleks.' I add the last part reluctantly. I try not to think about what will happen when Aleks Anzhela is finally freed. It's too much to contemplate. Malachy pulls back after a moment, a grateful expression on his face, his shoulders strong and broad again.

  'It's getting trickier and trickier to spend time with my father,' He says quietly. 'Now that I'm actually involved with the Rebels – '

  'You're not involved.'

  ' – It's harder to lie to him. He keeps giving me this look, like he knows. Like he knows everything. And on top of that Lucrezia keeps pressuring me to tell her what I know.'

  Just what exactly is Lucrezia's game? She knows everything about me. She knows my involvement with Malachy, she knows that he was aware of my escape plan, so why hasn't she told anyone? Why is she pretending to be oblivious, yet pressuring Malachy to tell her?

  I could tell him. I could tell Malachy that Lucrezia knows. I should tell him. But for some reason, I don't. Not until I know what Lucrezia's up to.

  'It will be okay.' I try to assure him, but he shakes his head emphatically. The stress is obviously getting to him; he looks a little crazy.

  'He's got plenty of time to keep pressuring me. My father can be very persuasive. I'm not going to crack but... but if I don't tell him something, he's going to – '

  'You can't tell him anything!' I hiss.

  'No,' Malachy frowns. 'No, I know. I wasn't going to. Lucrezia – ' He goes quiet for a moment, that faraway look settling back in his eyes. 'Lucrezia could have sided with Meredith, you know. If she had, my father probably would have given her my reign. I – ' He looks like he's had an epiphany. 'I don't understand. Why didn't she side with Meredith? Anyway, if I can keep her onside and just corroborating everything I say then maybe he'll – '

  'Malachy!' I speak sternly, raising my voice a notch. He's starting to scare me; I've never seen him lose it like
this. He glances at me, his gaze unfocussed as if he can't see me. 'You need to calm down. You're getting worked up. The stress is getting to you.'

  'I – ' His eyes finally clear and he comes back to himself, looking both confused and embarrassed. 'You're right. Sorry. I think I need to sit down.' He steps past me, collapsing into the nearest chair. I kneel in front of him, my hand gently on his knee.

  'Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to agree to be loyal to the Rebels. You told me yourself that you don't want to reign. They want the same things you do, why not just let one of them – '

  'No, I can't,' He shakes his head. 'I can't trust anyone. Not even them. I don't want to reign, but it has to be me, Eve. It has to be.'

  'But you only want to reign so that you can free – ' I almost say Aleks, but stop myself just in time. ' – The Confined. We're doing that anyway, the Rebels are going to do that.'

  'That's not true. I want to reign for many reasons, the Confine is just part of it.'

  'So you do want to reign?' I frown.

  'No, I must!' He slams his palm down on the table, and the silence which follows the blow is deafening. 'Oh, God,' He bends over, putting his head in his hands. 'I'm losing my mind, aren't I? I'm acting like a crazy person.'

  'Well... ' I hesitate. 'Yes. A little. But it's understandable, given the circumstances. Look,' I take his hands away from his face, forcing him to look at me. 'You don't have to do this for much longer. Pretty soon the Rebels are going to make their move. You just have to keep up the pretence for a little while – '

  'Do you know something? Has Vlad told you something?' He frowns. I hesitate.

  'Yes. He's told me the plan. He's going to tell the others as soon as Sir Alec gets back.'

  'From visiting my father? Is Vlad the reason he's visiting my father?'

  'Malachy, I'm not supposed to – '

  'No, I know,' He sighs. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked questions. I just... ' He looks so lost, so forlorn – it makes me want to cry. 'I just want to know when this will be over.'

  'Soon,' I assure him, smoothing his hair back. 'It'll be over soon. The date has been set.'

  'For the break out?'

  'Yes.' I nod.

  'Is it far away?' He looks so hopeful, like he's hanging on my every word. It makes me pity him, which is a feeling I'm not comfortable with when it comes to Malachy. I pitied him for what happened to Aleks, but he was always very closed off about that. Never has he showed me such raw emotion as he is now. It's not him.

  'It's the fourth of April.' I tell him confidently. I'm being ridiculous. Vlad is being ridiculous. He can't ask people to risk their lives without having any information. He can't expect a perfect stranger to put their life in his hands, to follow orders blindly, as we have been. It's not fair. Malachy can be trusted, I know that better than most people. And I owe him. He risked his neck once to help me with my task, the least I can do is ease some of the pressure which is clearly affecting him so badly.

  'A month,' I don't regret it. The moment he hears the date, his expression clears, as though he's been carrying a heavy load for days and someone has finally taken it from him. 'I can do that. A month. That's not so long.'

  'You mustn't tell anyone, Malachy. I'm serious.'

  'No, of course not.' He snaps a little, as if I'm being ridiculous, and far from hurting me, it's actually reassuring.

  'Mal?' I stand slowly, carefully sitting back down on his lap. I keep my posture rigid, ready to spring up at the slightest hint he doesn't want me here. He looks confused for a moment, as if he can't quite remember where he is, but then I feel him relax beneath me, and his arms find their way around me. 'Have you seen Tia? Or Diana? Or Richard?'

  I shouldn't have said anything. The momentary relaxation is gone in an instant. 'Yes,' His tone is hard again. 'I – I don't want to talk about it, Eve. It's just going to upset you. You're not stupid, you know things weren't exactly peachy when you left.'

  'But are they okay?' I press, I can't help myself. 'Tia must be devastated after what happened to Meredith – ' Nice one, Eve. Make him feel worse, why don't you?

  'Tia's a nervous wreck. Happy now?' He stands, shifting me off his lap. The information isn't a surprise to me, but I'm not prepared for the sharp stab I feel in my abdomen at the news of Tia's anxiety. 'Richard keeps up a pretence for her sake, but he's feeling the strain, too. Diana's okay. She wasn't interrogated as badly as the others so... ' He trails off.

  'Interrogated?' I wince, hating the term. Images flash through my mind; ugly, painful images. Whips and other torture devices, designed to force my friends to tell the truth. To make them admit they knew about my escape plot. To make Tia admit that she did. A sudden thought occurs to me, sending an icy chill down my spine. A face rears up from the deeper recesses of my mind, one I don't know that well but whose caramel eyes and tiny stature I can't forget. 'Malachy!' I gasp, suddenly unable to breathe. 'Amber Mayfair! If Sir Alec uses Amber Mayfair on Tia she'll know... they'll know that she knew... ' I'm stammering, barely able to get the words out.

  'Stop panicking,' Malachy replies coldly. 'Amber has likely been Confined by now. She refused to participate in the interrogations.'

  I suddenly feel a rush of warmth for this virtual stranger I only met once. Thanks to her bravery, my friend has been spared the Confine, if not a beating. 'I have to go.' Malachy turns, as if he isn't even going to say goodbye, and all thoughts of Tia and the others disappear as quickly as they came. I'm selfish when it comes to Malachy.

  'Malachy, don't,' My voice is louder than I intended it to be, and he stops quickly, turning back. 'Don't go,' I'm practically begging, and I'm a little sickened by myself but I can't help it. 'I won't ask anything else about them, I promise. Just... stay with me? Just for a little while? I don't know when I might see you again. I never know that, now.' Something changes in his eyes at my words. 'Please?' I ask quietly. He nods, stepping towards me, and for a while it's like we're both unsure of each other. He holds me, and I cling to him, but it's like we're rehearsing it.

  'I'm sorry about all this,' He mumbles into my hair, and his voice is measured again, strong and in control. 'It's not like me.'

  'No, it's not,' I agree. In reality, Malachy and I spent very little time together before my escape. We never really got to know one another properly, despite the depth of our feelings. Or mine, at least. 'But I'm glad I got to see it. And to be here to help you through it. This is all my fault really. If I hadn't escaped – '

  'You wouldn't be who you are.' I smile at his familiar words, tilting my head up to look at him properly. He brushes his lips against mine, barely touching them, and like a child with a sweet, I fight to have more; I press myself against him, tangling my fingers in his hair. He's wooden for a moment, but as I kiss him, he relaxes and his hands find their way under my shirt. A familiar warm feeling erupts in my abdomen, spiralling downwards, and I lose my head, forgetting where we are. Before I know it, I've pushed him backwards towards the table and I'm sitting on his lap facing him.

  'Eve,' His voice is strangled against my lips. 'We can't – '

  'Shh!' I hiss irritably, blocking his next words by finding his tongue with mine. He relents for a moment, and though part of me knows he's not going to let this happen, I try to pretend that he will. We've only done this once before – it's all we had time for – and it seems absurd to me that I've only been with someone I love so much once. I've played and re-played that evening in my head so many times, in so many places, it's almost surreal to be here reliving it for real.

  'Eve, we can't do this here.' He finally breaks away from me, gently pushing me back. My body cries out at our distance.

  'I know.' I sigh, my lips still aching from the pressure of his. I look at him as he looks back at me, and neither of us really plans it as I push him backwards onto the table. He grabs my hips, I grab his hands, he mumbles something against my mouth that I can't make out, and then the door swings open behind us, clattering against the wall. />
  I jump up, feeling like a burglar caught in the act. Malachy sits bolt upright, not looking nearly as panicked as I feel. Vlad stares at us from the doorway, his pupils dilated in shock. For a moment he stands rigid, but slowly, the corners of his mouth twist into a smirk.

  'Sorry,' He grins, his eyes dancing with amusement. 'You've been in here too long.' How could I not have sensed him coming? How could Malachy not have?! Clearly we were so caught up in what we were doing, it didn't occur to us that someone might just walk in. 'You need to come back now.'

  I glance at Malachy, and I'm shocked to see a smirk twisting the corner of his mouth. He looks at me with genuine laughter in his eyes, and I'm so glad to see it after watching him have a melt down that I can't hide my smirk, either. Vlad slinks back along the corridor, sniggering quietly.