by TJ Hamilton
‘I didn’t hate my name. I hated everything it was a product of.’ She looked down, bringing the coffee cup to her lips to let the hot liquid wash away any regret. ‘I can’t explain why I wanted to come back … it’s just home.’
The truth was, she wished Hayden had come and saved her, but looking at him now, it was clear their paths had grown so far apart that there might as well have been a continent between them. Footsteps on the back deck brought a welcome interruption. Brayden’s face appeared around the door and Leila smiled. Brayden walked into the room with an unusual spring in his step, but when Brayden slapped his older brother on the back as he passed, Leila understood why he was happy. As she got up to hug Brayden, he stretched out wide, pretending not to go anywhere near her vest full of weaponry. Rolling her eyes, she warned him not to tempt fate.
‘You should see Leila’s right cross, bro,’ Brayden said as he punched the air in front of him with his fist.
Hayden’s eyes met Leila’s. She shrugged and grinned. ‘There’s a lot you don’t know about me now, Hayden Terrance.’ She turned her attention back on Brayden. ‘You’re going to get a good night’s sleep tonight so I can kick your ass again tomorrow morning, aren’t you?’
‘You’re on, and better keep your fist up this time.’ Brayden tapped the right side of his face with a clenched fist, ducking and weaving as if in a boxing ring.
She laughed, loving how far Brayden had come in the Youth Justice Program. Taking the last sip of her coffee, Leila rinsed the cup. As she watched the last of it wash down the sink, she imagined for a moment that her feelings for Hayden could be rinsed away that easily too. But for now she sighed under her breath and strived for a more casual conversation. ‘Thanks for the brew, Haydog. Good to see you again. Are you staying in town for long?’
‘I’ll walk you to your car.’ He deliberately avoided her question by opening the door, then burst into laughter at the ridiculous patrol car sitting in his driveway. Had she been so strong a distraction when she first arrived that he hadn’t noticed before?
‘It looks like something that belongs in a circus parade! What are you supposed to do with this piece of crap? Who you stopping in that tin can?’ He laughed harder.
Leila raised her head as high as she could. ‘I’ll have you know this car did just fine in the last pursuit I was in with my partner. We got the shitbags in the end. Some idiots from north came into town to pinch cars. If it weren’t for me and my partner Ben, there wouldn’t have been a pursuit. We’re the ones who kept the pursuit alive long enough for the highway team to get here. We pushed this little thing so hard, it was steaming by the time we got back to the station.’
As she talked, Hayden opened the driver’s door for her but then shut it again before she could get in. ‘Sorry, I’m sure you don’t need me opening your door when you’re the authority around here.’
‘Why did you come home, Hayden?’ she asked.
He shook his head but a rueful smile slipped out. ‘I wanted to come and check on mum and Brayden.’
Leila opened the car door to get in. Winding down the window, she replied, ‘Well, it’s good to see you anyway.’
Hayden leaned into the open driver’s side window, causing her to look around the streets, checking if anyone saw. He clocked her reaction and stepped back.
‘Are you going to tell me how long you intend to stay around?’ she tried, one final time.
‘Let’s not try to complicate things between us. I could be gone tomorrow if I see everything’s going well out here.’
His phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the screen. ‘I better get this,’ he said as he kissed his index and middle finger and pointed them towards her.
As Leila reversed out of the driveway, she realised the distance between her and Hayden was more like planets than continents. She glanced in her rear-vision mirror as she drove away, torn between wanting him to stay longer than a night, and wishing he’d never come back.
Chapter Three
Ben looked up from the front desk as Leila walked through the front doors of the station. ‘What’s up? You look like you’ve won the lottery and your cat’s been run over at the same time.’
Leila managed to break out of the filthy mood she’d been in for the entire ride from Hayden’s place and chuckled. ‘You don’t miss a beat, do you?’ she replied. ‘I don’t know how you’re not lead detective in this place.’
‘So are you going to tell me what’s happened? Or is it who’s happened? Does this have anything to do with the last address you called off at?’ Ben raised an eyebrow.
Her game was up and she knew it. ‘I just saw Hayden Terrance.’
Ben’s eyes lit up. ‘Ah, the elusive Terrance brother. I thought you never wanted to see him again?’
‘I didn’t expect him to come back so quickly. I only let Aunt Sue tell him I was home two days ago.’
Ben frowned. ‘Well that either speaks volumes or it’s just a terrible coincidence.’
‘What’s for dinner tonight? Whose turn is it to choose tonight’s pub meal?’
Ben finished filling out details of a case on his screen and turned his attention back to Leila. ‘Do we need a night out tomorrow to get your mind off this?’
Leila had never been close to Ben in school, in fact they hadn’t really got along at all, but Leila’s transition to the law gave them a commonality that they’d bonded over in the past twelve months.
‘Sure, but I can’t go to the pub knowing he’s around.’ Leila slumped into the office chair with a huff. ‘So it has to be a very low-key night at home. No going anywhere. Just you, me, and … Toby?’ she teased playfully.
‘I don’t know if I’m ready to include him into our crazy nights just yet. I’ll only invite him if you promise not to break out the karaoke machine ever again.’
‘No promise of that!’ Leila laughed.
The sergeant’s voice boomed out from behind the two-way mirror at the back of the station. ‘Mayne. Fields. I’ve got tonight’s taskings for you.’
Leila and Ben got up immediately and went straight into his office.
‘Now that Siobhan is here to man radio, I want you out on the truck with Mayne,’ Sergeant Cooper said to Ben.
‘I want you guys to make some extra patrols around the vicinity of Far Trail Road tonight, the Bulls’ Run end. Matty and Smithy said they saw some cars that look like they don’t belong out there. They’ve been hanging around town for a few days, so keep your eye out. With Hartley gallivanting off overseas with his ladyfriend,’ the Sarge grunted, ‘Detective Senior Constable Hudson is taking on most of the pressure of the drugs investigation. That means everyone else keeps an extra sharp lookout.’ He scowled.
Leila winced. Calling Detective Senior Constable Hartley Cooper’s trip to the states ‘gallivanting’ was a bit harsh, given that he was helping his girlfriend, Erika Hanson, escort her elderly grandmother to a specialist hospital for treatment. Erika had been left to do it alone after her brother was killed, horribly, in a bushfire some weeks earlier. But it was no secret that the Sarge didn’t exactly approve of his son’s love affair with the cool and professional Erika. Still, everyone was pleased Mac finally got to work as a detective— something he’d been gunning for for a while.
‘Sure, Sarge,’ Ben replied, taking the paperwork with the list of areas for them to patrol.
The Sergeant directed his attention to Leila. ‘How’s the Terrance boy going?’
‘So far he’s turned up to every boxing session and went to two group sessions at the PCYC this week,’ she replied.
Sergeant Cooper nodded. ‘Good to hear. I hope we’ve got third time lucky with those boys.’
Leila’s jaw clenched. The bosses were purposely testing her, and she needed to stay professional. She hated it when anyone related Hayden to his brothers. Hayden wasn’t the shiniest example of an upstanding citizen, but he’d never been in serious trouble with the law like the rest of his family. If anything,
he was the only one who had shown any type of prospect of breaking out of the family cycle. But the bosses never seemed to understand that, and with her limited rank and experience within the force, she wasn’t about to challenge the Sergeant’s opinion anytime soon. Instead, she bowed out of the battle and replied as calmly as possible, ‘I actually think he’s got a positive future ahead of him. It’s all about empowering kids like Brayden, Sarge.’
From the cluttered paperwork across his desk, Sergeant Cooper looked up with an implacable expression. She continued, ‘If there are enough people behind Brayden to make him believe he has a future, he’s going to make better choices.’
Was that a hint of a smile in Sergeant Cooper’s eyes? ‘I hope you’re right, Mayne.’
She’d pushed her rank’s boundaries enough for one conversation, and made a brisk exit from the Sergeant’s office before she ran her mouth off any more.
***
‘Gee, Coops sounded really optimistic about Brayden Terrance.’ Leila’s voice dripped with cynicism. ‘Even with how much Brayden is trying, Sarge still doubts him.’
Ben laughed. ‘Wait till he hears about Hayden being back in town. I doubt he’s going to be too happy about that, especially after Brayden’s been doing so well.’
‘What do you mean?’ she snapped.
Ben fastened his seatbelt and started to reverse out of the car park. ‘Brayden has been doing really well without the influence of his brothers around. I just know it will make everyone edgy, waiting to see if he can keep out of trouble with Hayden here.’
‘Hayden’s nothing like his brothers, and Coops knows that. He’s just forgotten, and so have you, obviously.’ Her voice cracked in frustration, and confusion about why she felt the need to defend Hayden so desperately. What if he had changed in four years and she no longer knew him like she used to? She’d changed too, in the most dramatic way.
‘Just remember, for as long as your old man and Mick Terrance were young troublemakers, Coops was here cleaning up their mess. He’s got a reason to be pessimistic about the fourth Terrance he’s had to deal with in his policing career,’ Ben said bluntly.
If anyone else talked about her family like that, Leila would be infuriated, but Ben presented the facts without any prejudice.
‘They can all get lost. If I can change opinions about my family name, then anyone can.’ Leila watched the darkened empty streets outside her passenger window, waiting while Ben took his time to respond.
‘What if Hayden’s been in some trouble that you don’t know about?’ he finally said. ‘Have you ever accidentally looked up Hayden’s file while you’ve been the buddy of his little brother?’
She shook her head. ‘It’s too risky. I already have the boss expecting me to do something wrong because of my family. Imagine if they caught me looking up Hayden’s profile.’
‘Why would they care about you looking up the details of Hayden Terrance when you have such an important role with keeping tabs on his brother? Are you avoiding any feelings for Hayden? People have watched you two together since you were kids. Why the change of heart?’
She couldn’t make eye contact with Ben. ‘Why all the questions? Do you think he has been in trouble? Do you know something I don’t?’
Ben shook his head. ‘I don’t know. You know I never really had much to do with him or his family until I was in the job. All I know is that curiosity would have gotten the better of me by now. Especially if I had the expression you had on your face after seeing the guy today.’
Chapter Four
Hayden looked at his watch before glancing at the side mirror again. The drop car was late and he had no way of contacting the driver. He couldn’t turn his phone on in case it set off a ping—the cops were always on his tail and paranoia tugged on the back of his neck. Rolling his head back, he stretched his shoulders up until he felt in control of it all again. He hadn’t asked for any of this; it was thrust on him because of his brother. The carnage in this town wasn’t his choice. ‘Just this once,’ Jayden promised him. Hayden swallowed as he thought about all the city’s crooks who were willing to make a house call for Jayden if he refused his brother’s orders. His brother’s threat hadn’t just been for him either … he’d implied it could be aimed at their mum, at their little brother, too, if things got out of Hayden’s control. Jayden’s warning about handing over Jacinta Buchanan’s mines to his harder criminal associates from the city hadn’t left Hayden’s mind since he threatened it. What was he to do? He couldn’t let it happen and since his brother was incarcerated, Hayden knew he was powerless to stop it. There had been so many times Hayden wished he shared a surname with someone else. Instead, he seemed destined to a life of dodging cops and finalising deals that were out of his hands.
Seeing Leila again had ignited a fire inside his chest. He pushed her out of his mind, but couldn’t shake the contentment of being around her. He couldn’t have just packed up and left, recreated himself the way she had. He was clever, but not smart the way she was.
A red Hyundai hatchback pulled up behind him; it was the car he was waiting for. Running his fingers through his hair, he got out of his Holden and pressed a button on the key to open the boot.
Hayden glanced around the dirt track that lined the boundary of a property where their drugs were manufactured. The bushland was thick with olive greens and the occasional spattering of brown. The landscape, from the deep red dirt to the dark green of the trees, all seemed hostile, trying to claim back its place.
A short, heavyset guy got out of the car, reaching for a bag on the back seat. Hayden nodded, but that was it. No names. No talking.
Hayden took the bag and a phone, which contained all the contacts Jayden thought he would need. He threw them straight into the boot, then got in his car and took off down the dirt track, speeding further and further away from town. The track ran along the border of Jacinta’s sheep station, Bulls’ Run, a place he’d known all his life.
When he and Jacinta were kids, they’d come down to these parts of her family’s land, far from the prying eyes of her parents, and play anything from cops and robbers to cowboys and chiefs for hours in the old abandoned dug-outs. Sometimes her older brother Jamie and Mac Hudson had joined them, along with Jayden, although the older boys were forever trying to lose him and Jac and Brayden, who was still just a little kid tagging along. Jacinta’s parents never approved of the Terrance kids, and wanted her well away from them, but Jacinta had never listened. Hayden struggled with using her property behind her back. Maybe he could pay his brother a visit again, to ask if they could relocate the lab to somewhere else, despite already knowing the answer. Unless he found a better location than the abandoned mines—which there wasn’t—Jayden would just say no. One day Hayden would work up the courage to say no to his brother, but until then family was family. It’s not like Jayden would hurt him, his own blood. But Jayden would hurt other people, and keeping his own mouth shut kept people like Jacinta safe.
He pulled up to the entrance of the mine shaft and got out of the car, grabbing the bag and the facemask next to it from the boot. He replaced the filters at the end of the mask and pulled it over his head, adjusting it until it felt comfortable, before making his way towards the abandoned mine tunnel, bag slung over his back. The opening looked more like a supersized wombat hole, and Hayden had to bend slightly to make his way through the darkened entrance. A round white pipe ran along the ground from the opening, pulling dangerous air from within the mine. The distant sound of glass chinking got louder further into the old mining tunnel, and became clearer when he reached an open room with trestle tables jam packed with glass tubes, bowls, hoses and steaming substances straight out of a mad scientist’s den. Through his newly filtered mask, Hayden could still make out the harsh smell of fumes when he walked past to the lab cook, Larry. Larry, also masked, nodded at Hayden briefly but turned his attention straight back to the bubbling triangular jar. The ends of his bushy ginger beard wisped around the edges of t
he apparatus.
‘I hope that’s finally the ephedrine I need? This whole batch will be fucked if I don’t get it into the mix ASAP.’ His voice was muffled through the mask.
Hayden nodded and dumped the bag on the ground.
‘No! Not there! Jesus Christ, Hayden. Do you want to fucking blow us both up? Put it up the back on the bench near the barrel.’ Hayden reacted quickly, grabbing the bag and putting it to the back of the room. The room was filled with enough hazardous material it could create an outback Chernobyl if it exploded. Hayden hated the claustrophobic space.
‘When will this be ready?’
‘Well if you give me a hand here for a few hours, I’d get it done a lot quicker,’ Larry replied.
Hayden shook his head in disgust, ‘Sorry Larry, you know my deal. I’m not having blood on my hands. This is your dirty work.’
Larry’s shoulders shook with amusement, ‘That’s where you’re wrong, kid. The blood is already on your hands. Now get some gloves on, grab me that bucket from the back and measure out forty grams of ephedrine on the scales.’
Hayden sighed. The fear of knowing Jayden’s threat was very real angered him. Jayden would send his crew into town to pay him a visit if he didn’t do the drop. Protecting his mum and Brayden was paramount to Hayden’s very being. He knew once Jayden’s associates rolled in, even Jayden himself wouldn’t be able to stop the cyclone of criminality. Those type of guys were the ones who broke the law because they got a kick out of it. They were the soulless who had seen the inside of prison walls, and for them nothing compared to the thrill of the hunt. Hayden had seen them in action at clubs in Sydney. After one visit to see his brother, Hayden knew his brother was no longer the person he grew up with. Ever since their father died, Jayden disappeared more and more. Or was he always bad, but his father knew how to help Jayden keep it contained?
He picked up a pair of red welding gloves and slid them on. Larry passed him a white bucket that once stored pool chemicals. The room had a dampness to it, which Larry said was ideal for keeping the chemicals at a consistent temperature. There were three sets of scales on the back trestle table, all layered thick with grime. Wiping the digital screen on the front, Hayden opened the duffles to lift out one of the many zip-locked bags of white powder; the crucial ingredient to making ice. He pulled the bag apart to unlock the air trapped inside, and a subtle plume of particles arose out of the bag, reacting with the air and creating a low fizzle that was only just audible. Hayden held his face away, tipping the powder into the plastic tub on the scales until the numbers climbed to forty. He re-zipped the plastic bag and dropped it back into the green duffle bag before tipping the powder into the bucket and handing it back to Larry. He turned to leave, no longer wanting to be part of the process.