‘What do you think you are doing?’ Lisa stared angrily at his hand on her arm. ‘What’s wrong with you, Tino?’
‘What’s wrong with me?’ He slammed the door. ‘This is the matter.’ His furious stare embraced the room.
‘The flowers?’ Lisa said uncertainly, putting down her case.
‘Yes! The flowers! What the hell else could I be referring to?’
‘I’ve already said how nice they are—’
‘Nice?’ He looked away as if he needed time to compose himself, and then, staring towards the heavens, he cursed in Greek.
The fact that she had made a terrible mistake didn’t come to Lisa like a thunderbolt, it was a long-drawn-out torture that dripped ice through her veins until finally it reached her heart: the flowers were for her… Of course they were for her! She had schooled herself always to think the worst of people. Any normal woman would have seen that immediately, the moment Tino had opened the door—the moment she’d stepped over the threshold, the moment she’d seen what he had done for her. ‘Tino.’ Lisa found that her throat had dried to the point where she could hardly make herself heard. ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise… and they’re so beautiful.’
‘I thought this was what you wanted.’ He stopped and passed a hand over his eyes as if he wanted to blot out the moment when he had decided to lay his heart at her feet so she could trample on it.
‘I’m so ashamed… I thought—’
He whirled around to confront her. ‘You should be ashamed. You’re just like all the rest. You tell me that you don’t want jewels—that flowers are what touch you the most… but when I give you flowers you are disappointed and you treat my gift with contempt.’
‘Tino, please—listen to me.’ Taking hold of his arm, Lisa flinched as he pulled away.
‘We’d better not keep your taxi waiting.’ He didn’t look at her. ‘If your pilot misses his slot you won’t be able to leave the island tonight.’
Lisa braced herself as the jet took off, soaring high above the clouds over Stellamaris.
On the journey to the airport she had seen the flower- laden carts with children sitting on the buckboards tossing handfuls of blooms to crowds lining the streets. The car had been forced to slow, so she hadn’t missed a single detail of the procession. Everyone had been in such high spirits and she had longed to be part of it… with Tino.
To make matters worse, when she’d said goodbye to Maria before leaving the villa she had learned that Tino had been up before anyone else that morning choosing flowers for her in the garden. He had carried the arrangements up to her room while she was having breakfast with Stella, not trusting anyone else to do it; that was the important matter that had delayed him.
It was as well she was leaving. She damaged everyone she cared about. Her mother had sacrificed everything for her, and Jack Bond—a man she still found it hard to call her father—had looked for a love she could never give him. She could see it all now with agonising clarity, and knew she couldn’t risk causing any more harm. She cared too much for Tino to stay.. and, even had she wanted to stay, he had made it very clear that he didn’t want her in his life. Business was her forte. She was good at that. She had done the deal she had set out to do. She had to be satisfied. She had to accept there were some things in life she would never master, and love was just one of them.
Seated in his study, Tino grimaced. The suspicion that he had been tricked was only boosted by the sound of Lisa’s jet passing overhead.
Emotions had no part to play in business and he had made a fundamental error allowing her in. He only had to think of the flowers to know she had made a fool of him… Had she used him for sex? Or had she used sex to secure the deal? Either way this wasn’t over. He couldn’t just let her walk away…
This time he didn’t ring the bell and wait patiently for her housekeeper to answer it, he thundered on her door with his fist, and then shouted her name through the letterbox.
‘All right, all—’ Lisa pressed back against the wall as Tino stalked past her. ‘Nice to see you too,’ she added under her breath as she followed him into her den. ‘Would you like a drink?’ She glanced down at her own flute of champagne, feeling the world had gone mad, or that she had fallen asleep and had to be dreaming.
‘Celebrating, Lisa?’
The tone of Tino’s voice soon brought her round. She had never seen him like this before. ‘Could you snarl a little louder? I didn’t quite hear you.’
‘I said, are you celebrating, Lisa?’
It was Vera’s night off, and Tino’s visit seemed so unreal. It was hard to believe how much he affected her. She had to keep staring at him just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She felt exhilarated briefly, but then caution took over, and now the expression on his face hardly invited enthusiasm. Maybe she would do better to feel intimidated… but instead of that she felt sad—sad for both of them. They were both so enmeshed in the past, so emotionally scarred, they didn’t know how to express themselves other than through business. They both had so much, but where things that really mattered were concerned they had nothing.
The only way forward was to keep everything on an impersonal level, Lisa decided, as if they were in a business meeting. But first she had some apologising to do. ‘I’m glad you’ve come.’ She held open the door of her den for him. ‘I’ve been hoping for an opportunity to say how sorry I am about the flowers.’
‘The flowers?’
As Tino frowned Lisa realised her mistake. He couldn’t have cared less about the flowers. He had something a lot more important on his mind—his pride, perhaps? And then she realised that she was still holding the glass of champagne in her hand, and that he was staring at it. She felt bound to explain. ‘I was just drinking a toast to my new life.’
‘Your new life?’ He cut across her. His eyes narrowed with suspicion. ‘The last time we spoke you mentioned changes. You move fast.’
His tone was hostile, but one of them had to keep calm. ‘So many questions, Tino,’ she said lightly. ‘Why don’t you join me in a glass of champagne?’
Instead of answering, he stood vibrating with some inner conflict.
‘So, why are you here?’ she prompted, wanting him to say something, anything.
He shook his head, his face a rigid mask. ‘You’ve got a nerve.’
Lisa stiffened defensively. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Do you really think you can use me?’
‘Use you?’ All Lisa’s thoughts on staying calm evaporated. ‘And just how am I supposed to have used you?’
‘I think you know. What was I to you, Lisa—some sort of device to excise your ghosts?’
‘My ghosts?’ She stared at him.
He stared back at her unflinching.
‘Or is there something else? Don’t tell me—’ she held up her hand ‘—I forgot to sign something.’ She stared accusingly at his jacket pocket. ‘Well? What are you waiting for? We might as well get this over with.’
His expression turned glacial. ‘Is that what you think of me?’
‘I think I understand you pretty well, yes.’
‘Understand me? You understand nothing about me.’
He couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe she could arouse such feeling in him. They were eyeing each other like gladiators in the coliseum. There was so much passion in the room he could feel it swirling around them.
It was the last thing he had wanted, the last thing he had anticipated; emotion was his bête noire, something he avoided at all cost because he didn’t understand it. He didn’t have a strategy to deal with it. And he didn’t want to understand it—something so unpredictable, so unquantifiable?
He turned away feeling frustration building inside him again. He couldn’t find the words to express his feelings— and all he could be sure about was that coming to see Lisa was the worst mistake he had ever made.
‘I don’t know why you came here,’ she threw at him.
&
nbsp; How could he tell her when he hardly knew himself?
‘I think it’s better if you go now and never come back.’
Did she have someone else? The thought speared through him as she spoke. ‘Is there someone else?’ Was this jealousy?
‘What?’ She stared at him incredulously.
‘Don’t hold back on my account, Lisa. If you’ve got someone else here in England, just tell me.’ His voice sounded hoarse. The cost of exposing his innermost thoughts to her was terrible—far worse than he had expected.
‘Someone else?’ As they stared at each other Lisa saw the expression in Tino’s eyes change. This was not the formidable business opponent she knew, or even the confident man. Those eyes were the eyes of the child who had been locked in a nightmare, the child who had cried out to her in the night. For just those few seconds it was as if all the barricades Tino had raised against the world and against her had disappeared, but he built them up again so fast, she was left wondering if she had imagined it.
He was just as damaged on the inside as she was. He would always wonder if he was capable of feeling anything beyond some fleeting triumph in business. She could only hope he wasn’t destined to remain as numb in his heart as she was. ‘There’s no one else, Tino,’ she said quietly. ‘There never can be anyone.’
‘So, your life will always be empty.’
‘It’s better that way. It would be irresponsible of me to involve anyone in my life, when I have nothing to offer them.’
‘You’re wrong, Lisa.’ Tino spoke from the heart as images of Stella and Arianna, as well as many others, crowded his mind. ‘You have had an empty life, I understand that. But it can get better, I promise you.’
‘You promise me, Tino? What do you promise me? That in time I can learn to care as much as you do?’
She used sarcasm like a shield, and he deserved her cynicism. ‘I admit that I’ve still got a long way to go, but at least I have started the journey—’ He stopped, self- conscious at showing such candour on a subject he was still building up faith in himself. ‘And it’s not that bad.’
Was this feeling currently tearing her apart Tino’s idea of ‘not that bad’? Lisa wondered, drawing a steadying breath. ‘Then, all I can say is, you’re very lucky, Tino… but I know that letting people in can never be for me.’
‘But you were drinking a toast to your new life.’
‘New pastimes, new occupations to run alongside Bond Steel, not a whole raft of personal involvements I know can only end in disaster.’
‘A whole raft?’
For a moment she thought he was trying not to smile— and not in a nasty way, or a point-scoring way. ‘You know what I mean.’ She sounded edgy, and she was. She was determined he wouldn’t turn this back into some sort of emotional ping-pong. She was going to stick to the facts whatever he threw at her.
‘So, tell me about these changes.’
‘I’m not even sure about them myself yet.’ She couldn’t see a hint of a smile on his face now, and was reassured enough to ask, ‘Would you like that drink now?’
‘Before I go?’
He was gently teasing her, Lisa realised, careful to remain unmoved. ‘Yes. Champagne all right for you?’ She glanced at the shelf where all her crystal glasses were lined up in rows.
‘Lalique?’ Tino murmured, but, in case she thought he was impressed, he added wryly, ‘Are they dusty?’
‘I doubt it.’ Lisa smiled a little too now, but she still wasn’t quite sure she was ready for his humour. ‘Vera looks after me too well for anything in here to be dusty.’ She knew what he was getting at. They both had so much, so many material things, but they had no one special to share any of it with.
‘So, come on,’ he pressed, ‘I’m waiting to hear about these changes to your life—’
‘Like I said, I’m not sure, Tino.’
‘I think we’d better drink a general toast,’ he suggested dryly.
Pouring the champagne, Lisa was careful not to touch his hand when she gave him the glass.’
‘To us,’ he said.
‘To us,’ Lisa echoed, staring at him over the rim of her glass. ‘Won’t you sit down?’
She pointed to the sofa where he assumed she had been making herself comfortable when he’d arrived. There was a cosy throw to wrap around her pyjamas flung over the back of it, and a pair of ridiculous fluffy slippers sticking out underneath. And now he saw that her feet were bare, and that her toenails looked like perfect pink shells…
Putting his glass down on the table, he looked at her… He could see she wanted to say something. ‘Lisa?’ he prompted. ‘What is it?’
‘About the flowers—’
When he had first arrived at the apartment, and she had tried to apologise, he had been ungracious. His head had been filled with memories of the hurt and anger he had felt when she’d walked into her room at Villa Aphrodite and made a mockery of his gift. But now it was different, now they were both calmer… and the least he owed her was a chance to explain. He held her gaze, willing her to go on.
‘The flowers were special, Tino, very special, and so was the thought behind them. I can’t believe I didn’t realise they were your gift to me.’
The way she was looking at him now, with her eyes so wide and troubled, touched something deep inside him, and feelings welled up from some hidden place so that he wanted to go to her and hold her in his arms.
‘I couldn’t believe you would do something like that for me, that anyone would.’
She made a helpless gesture, as if she was hunting for the right words with the same lack of success he had run up against when he had first arrived. ‘Won’t you sit down with me?’ he suggested gently.
She came to then, and stared at him with sharper focus. ‘No—I’d better not. And, Tino, that toast we made—’ She frowned as she looked at her glass. ‘When I said, ‘‘to us’’, of course I meant ‘‘to us’’ independently.’
‘Of course.’ He kept his expression neutral. ‘Us. Independently,’ he added dryly.
This awkwardness between them was new. They could rage at each other, or deal analytically with each other across a boardroom table quite comfortably, but this tiptoeing around each other was like starting over, working through something very carefully to find out if it could be safe…
‘I can’t bear to be hurt, Tino.’
The frank confession made him doubly alert. She was looking at him, totally oblivious to the fact that she had her arms wrapped around her waist in a defensive gesture.
‘I have to protect myself.’
‘From me?’
She looked away.
‘Lisa, please believe me… I do know what you’re trying to say. Trust doesn’t come in a rush, it grows slowly with time… and that’s the same for everyone, not just you and me.’
She flinched at that. ‘There is no you and me, Tino. There never can be. We’re no good for each other. Surely you must know that. You need someone strong.’
‘How do you know what I need?’
‘I heard you cry out in the night, Tino. I may not know much about you, but that night proved to me that you’re not the product of an ordinary childhood.’
‘An ordinary childhood?’ he repeated her words softly. ‘Whatever that might be.’
‘I don’t pretend to know what happened to you, Tino. I only know what I see in front of me now, and what I heard that night when you cried out in terror like a little boy who was very frightened.’
He looked at her searchingly. ‘No one has ever told me I do that before.’
‘Maybe you’ve never done it before.’
‘Maybe I’ve never felt safe enough to do it before.’ He stopped. He’d gone too far and automatically pulled back. ‘Truce?’ Now it was his turn to feel awkward.
‘Truce,’ Lisa agreed softly, ‘Don’t worry,’ she whispered, as if that was all he had on his mind, ‘I won’t tell anyone.’
‘I never thought that you would.’
He reached out, and then stopped himself, clenching his hands to prevent himself from weakening. After another period of silence had elapsed and the tension between them had subsided, he tried again. ‘You say we’re no good for each other? I think you’re wrong.’
‘You would think that, but then you always believe you’re right.’
He was relieved to see that as she made the comment it almost brought a smile to her lips.
Neither of them moved for a while, but then she surprised him, coming to sit down as he had hoped she would on the sofa at his side. For a moment he thought she had opened her heart to the possibility that there was another way than to live without love, but he was soon disillusioned. She had only come close to him to drive her point home…
Clenching both her fists, she pressed them into her chest so hard her knuckles turned white. ‘There’s nothing in here, Tino.’
He couldn’t bear to see the look on her face. ‘No!’ Was that voice his? Without thinking, he dragged her to him.
‘Please, Tino, let me go… I have nothing inside me… I’ve got nothing to give you.’
‘No, Lisa, you’re wrong. I can see inside you, and you’re beautiful.’
And when she searched his face, and he saw the doubt fighting with her need to believe him, he shook his head and smiled tenderly at her. ‘Don’t you see, Lisa? We’re the saving of each other…’ And then he held her as if he would never let her go until she finally relaxed, and began to shudder uncontrollably in his arms.
‘Do you really think so?’
Her voice was tiny like a child’s and it made him want to cry for the first time he could remember… for both of them. ‘I know it.’
Still sensing her doubt, he cupped her chin and brought her to face him again. ‘I know it’s true, because I love you, Lisa. I love you so much you’ve got no idea.’ He kissed her then, and it was a beginning… It was as if they had never kissed before; it was a revelation to them both, like coming home.
The Millionaire's Virgin (Mills & Boon By Request) Page 16